Chapter 4 – First Date

I turned onto the exit for the interstate toll way that I needed to take to get home. I estimated the drive from here to take about an hour. I slammed the steering wheel hard three times with the palm of my hand. “Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” This totally sucked. I can’t believe that I am driving home, allowing my wife to stay behind and fuck some unknown man. What kind of man am I? Why did I agree to let her have these flings?

I knew the answers to these questions, of course. During the course of our marriage, I had often fantasized about Ashley fucking another man. When we started playing role play games in bed, I often assumed the role of an unknown lover. Ashley physically changed when we started these role plays. She became more assertive. She became more confident. She became more seductive. She became physically wanton and had absolutely no inhibitions.

As our role play progressed it became more and more apparent that Ashley wanted to take the next step from an imaginary fantasy to a more realistic fantasy. While the role play was hot and took our sex life to unforeseen heights, I just could not come to terms with actually watching another man fuck the love of my life. I feared then, and still do, that those cliché doubts would consume my mind. Is he a better lover? Does she have deeper feelings for him? Am I losing my wife?

I reluctantly agreed to let Ashley move to a real life fantasy. For me, it was to become more out of sight, out of mind. While the time she was away was maddening and gut wrenching, the sex we had afterward was simply the best. We had agreed to two simple rules. First, there would never be a repeat tryst with anyone that she met and fucked. That helped me with the thoughts of her leaving me for another man. Second, I would never watch her fucking someone else. I would not face the embarrassment and humiliation of another man looking at me while he fucked my wife. Tonight, Ashley had crossed that line with that asshole Chad Brockton. I hated listening to his comments laced with sarcasm towards me, and that shitty smirk that on his face.

So why, why did I allow my wife and woman of my dreams to do this with other men? Why did I leave her at Chad Brockton's house tonight while I drove home? The answer I had come to previously, and held true tonight, was that I loved Ashley more than life itself, and I am willing to do almost anything to keep her happy. I had convinced myself if I could keep Ashley happy, we could keep our marriage and our lives happy. She really didn't ask for much. We were blessed in our life. This seemed to be her one indulgence. But boy, what an indulgence!

As I drove along the interstate tonight, I remembered the first day we met in high school. We had the same freshman Spanish class. She was gorgeous and had the figure of a 21 year old, with full breasts and long legs. While her figure was the attention getter, even more attractive to me was her quick grin and engaging personality. She had a playful side, and a caring side. Not realizing it that first day of class, I became more and more attached to Ashley as the school year progressed.

We quickly became friends that freshman year, hanging out before school and at lunch. I could listen to Ashley talk for hours. She would flash a grin and my heart would jump. For living in a small town, it was surprising we didn’t know hardly anything about each other. Our families lived on opposite sides of town and did not share many common friends. I also learned the Ashley ran in many social circles at school. She was a Pom Pon girl, on the varsity as a freshman. Hanging out with the older girls during football season, quickly introduced her to senior and junior boys.

I think it was less than a month into our freshman year that Ashley started dating Rod Huntsman. Rod was a junior and a tailback on the football team. Rod was also a mean SOB to underclassman, especially underclassman football players. Rod acted nice to Ashley’s freshman friends in the hallway at school when they walked together, but in the locker room after football practice he was a real prick. I had a tough time that freshman year reconciling Ashley’s personality and Rod’s true personality. I thought to myself, I must not know this girl very well at all; maybe her wholesome personality is all an act.

Ashley dated Rod through the rest of our freshman year, and most of our sophomore year, when Rod was a senior. There was a brief two week period where they broke up sophomore year because Ashley caught Rod in the high school parking lot in his car with Jeannie Bottomfield. Rumor has it that Jeannie was so surprised when they were caught in the parking lot; she left teeth marks in Rod’s cock. It was the highlight story of the fall that year. Every freshman and sophomore football player thoroughly enjoyed seeing Rod get what he deserved when Ashley ripped him a new one when she found out.

It was two weeks later when Ashley told me at lunch she was getting back together with Rod. I was dumbfounded, and Ashley knew it. “Ronnie, it’s not like Rod and I are getting married. He will be at college next year, and I will be here at high school stuck with you.” She held my hand for a moment. “I can’t explain it to you Ronnie, I just love the way he holds me.” The whole moment was serene, but having Ashley hold my hand, even for that brief moment made me feel sky high. I went to football practice that day with such a good feeling. It wasn’t until later that I reflected on the very mixed messages that Ashley was sending me that day.

Rod did surprisingly graduate that year, and as Ashley predicted, they officially broke up one week before he left for college. Our junior year started with me making the varsity team, as a tight end. I didn’t start, but as the season wore on I received more and more playing time. I quickly developed an on the field rapport with our sophomore quarterback sensation, Terry Hanson. Terry had a strong arm and was an uncanny leader, even as a sophomore. Not even the senior quarterbacks argued with the decision to have Terry start and play ahead of them.

While not having the pressure of starting, I ended up having a very good junior football season. Terry and I were regularly hooking up for seven or eight completions a game by the end of the year. I found my social status in school rise with my on the field success. While on the field I was becoming more determined and physical, I was still more of a shy boy in social situations, especially with girls. Yes, I had a few dates, going to local dances, but I wasn’t on the party circuit. The only girl I was truly relaxed around was Ashley, and we continued to hang during the school day and now we talked often on the phone.

I was so focused on football, that I took a nonchalant attitude to Ashley telling me that she was going to date the senior running back on the team. Like Rod before him, this guy was built, was a star on the football team, and was a real asshole when not in Ashley’s presence. I hadn’t even considered asking Ashley out myself, being busy with football. The real reason was that I didn’t think that she would ever think of us as boyfriend and girlfriend. It was apparent to me that she had a thing for older guys, and while we were good friends and had fun together, I was certain that I was not the Don Juan she had in mind. Looking back, I realized how stupid I was to cut myself short at the age of 17.

After football season that year, I was confronted with a very odd situation with Ashley. We had a study hall together, and we always sat next to one another during that period. Sometimes we talked, sometimes we studied, and sometimes Ashley wrote while I read. She shared with me that she had started keeping a daily diary, and while she spent many minutes every day writing in it, her diary was for her eyes only. While at study hall, she would make a grand display of covering her diary and writing the day’s events in it. She periodically looked up to make sure that no one could see what she was writing. Well of course no one could see, because no one besides me was sitting close, and I had already told her I didn’t want to read her diary and I never made an effort to look at her musings in the spiral bound pages.

One nondescript day in study hall, I was reading a book, probably something about the colonial times era, as that had been, and continues to be my passion of study. Ashley began to stretch with an over-emphasized yawn, putting her arms in the air to stretch, and arching her back. The natural effect of that action was that her blouse pulled tight against her full breasts and they would jut out towards me. The natural effect of that was that my eyes would be glued to her chest, and my young cock got hard in my jeans. This was a game she played often with me, and we both knew the effect of it. During school we never talked about it, but one night, after we were married and first started playing games, I recalled her yawns and we both spent the night playing and giggling recalling those days.

Anyway, on this day, as Ashley yawned, her breasts were the sole focus of my eyes, and I did not notice that her diary had been knocked to the middle of the table. Ashley told me she had to go the ladies room and ran off. I was left to daydream a little about the vision of her breasts, but then quickly noticed her dairy in the middle of the table left open to the last page she had written. I looked to the left, and then to the right, and with no one watching me, leaned forward in my seat so that I could read the words written in her elegant cursive on the page. She had recalled her most recent date last weekend with the lug tailback. I read how they parked and began to hug and kiss. She had written how excited she got in his arms, and how she liked to kiss him over and over. Her words ended there without any more details of their night of parking.

I sat back in my chair and began to read my book about the Monroe Doctrine, and pretended not to notice as Ashley returned. She made a display of quickly closing “the diary”. With a stern look she asked, “You did not look at this, did you Ronnie?” She held up the now closed book as she spoke.

“Look at what?” I said, feigning no interest. “Did you know the Monroe Doctrine was the beginning of a long alliance with England, even after we kicked their ass in the Revolutionary War?”

Rolling her eyes at me, Ashley said in an exasperated voice, “Ronnie Malloy, sometimes I just want to knock you in the head. You better not have been reading in my diary.” We both knew that she was being overly dramatic. We both knew she was playing her cat and mouse game with me.

Holy shit! It just hit me, even back in our first three years of high school; she was playing some type of cuck game with me. No we weren’t a couple, and no we weren’t lovers. We did spend many hours talking, and we obviously had grown to care for one another. We were totally comfortable talking to one another; I relished having a close friend of the opposite gender. Driving home on the interstate, 25 years later, I just realized the depth of the games she was playing with me then.

Ashley was making sure I knew what she did with her boyfriends, and doing it in such a way that she didn’t put it in my face, but it did make me jealous of the time she spent with them. It also just dawned on me that during four years of high school, not once did she help hook me up with a date. Ashley was extremely popular, and had lots of friends. I never remember her trying to help me with a date. I remember her talking about my dates, and asking how things were going, but she never took a real interest in any one I may have been dating, much like I didn’t take a real interest in her boyfriends. I shook my head in the car while thinking that even in high school; she had wanted my time to be spent with her, no matter what she did with her own time. I slapped my head like the lady on the old V8 commercial. What a dumb, naïve teenager I was!

Our senior year of high school was fun. I had come into the school year in the best shape of my life, determined to have a good year of football. I was not the muscle bound jar head that seemed to attract Ashley, but I was tall, wiry, and firm in all the right places. I had a new found aggressiveness on the field. My blocking was much better, and I went for every reception thinking I was going to come away with the ball. If only I had been this aggressive with girls.

Ashley started senior year as captain of the poms team, and without a boyfriend. Last year’s high school star was this year’s junior college practice fodder, and he and Ashley split before he left for school. Ashley and I had three classes together, spent time together on the weekend, and often talked on the phone. Even with all that, I still didn’t ask her on an official date. My focus was football and the team. Terry, our QB, and I were having an excellent season, and I was really enjoying myself.

One Friday night, I was standing with the team waiting for the JV game to finish so we could take the field and warm-up. Ashley, looking great in her short red poms skirt, red sweater, and white knee socks walked up to the fence pretending to look for someone. “Has anyone seen Ronnie Malloy?” she asked. I took off my helmet, and with a grin said, “Right here, el captain. I am standing right in front of you!” She knew I was right there, but that was just our way together, relaxed and playful.

“Ronnie, good luck in your game. You know that I will be cheering and watching you. Two touchdowns for me tonight please.” Her perfect smile always melted me. “Oh, and Ronnie, after the game tonight, could you give me a ride home? My brother just got his license and the little brat took my car. Can you believe it? Of course, if you have other plans I will understand.” If the smile didn’t get you, her big green eyes did.

“I’ll have to check my dance card tonight, Ashley. You know how full it always it is. I believe, though, I’ll be able to squeeze in a ride home for you tonight. You will be riding in high style. I have my parent’s wood paneled station wagon. It doesn’t get any better than that.” We both laughed at being stuck with the traditional family vehicle of our parent’s generation.

“Your chariot will be just fine, Ronnie. I’ll just meet you in the parking lot outside the school after the game. Try not to sit in the locker room and brag with your teammates all night about how you kicked ass, I might catch cold by myself in the parking lot.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it, Ash.”

As I watched Ashley walk back towards the field, I was mesmerized by the shake of her hips. Such a nice inspiration to have to begin tonight’s game. I was jolted back to reality by my shoulder pads being slapped by two of my teammates. “Ron Malloy, you stud. You are the hero of every man on this football team. You just scored a date with Ashley tonight, and you brag to her about being stuck with the station wagon, and she doesn’t even care.

How do you do it?

“It’s not a date. Shit, I’m just giving her a ride home.” I heard some snickering and howling behind me. I turned around to see most of the team standing within 10 yards behind me, and obviously most heard my conversation with Ashley. Half the team appeared to be laughing at me, while the other half was still following Ashley walking away with their eyes.

“There isn’t a man on this team who wouldn’t give their left nut to give that dream a ride home, and here you act like it’s no big deal.”

“You don’t know Ash. We are just friends and that’s that.”

“Ron, you may be a star on the football team, and you may be good with school books, but when it comes to girls you need more than a clue! The girl that is the princess of the county asks you on a date, and you say that you are just friends. I’ll bet you five bucks that before she goes to sleep tonight, that your tongue and Ashley’s tongue will have done more than The Hustle.”

I put on my helmet and looked at my teammate. “You’re on buddy. Five bucks it is. Loser pays up on Monday. Now let’s go play some football.” We joined the rest of the team to run onto the field. We had the same tradition for every home game. When the JV game was over, the marching band, cheerleaders, and poms formed a tunnel that led onto the field. As the marching band began to play the school fight song, the gathering crowd in the stadium stood on their feet, clapping in unison. Everyone on the team sprinted through the human tunnel onto the field. This always gave me a huge rush of adrenaline and was one of my favorite parts of game night.

On this night, I made sure to run to the side of the tunnel where Ashley was standing. As I ran by her, we gave each other a wink and a smile. I experienced an Ashley induced natural high and felt like I could run the length of the field in five seconds. Not so coincidentally, I played one of my better games of the year. Terry and I were totally in sync. He led me perfectly on two long touchdown passes, the second being the game winner with a minute left in the game. While I enjoyed the pre-game excitement and rush, nothing beats the high of winning a hard fought game. At the moment you clinch victory, you bond even closer to your teammates, and a surge of energy consumes your being. I swear after our win that night, I jumped and nearly touched my elbow on the goal post as we ran off the field.

Needless to say there was a lot of whooping and hollering in the locker room that night. Big grins and slapping of backsides and butts were rampant in the locker room. I walked around the locker room once and joined my teammates in our celebration. Very quickly though, I remembered Ashley’s words, and I moved to my locker. I did the mandatory strip of the uniform and pads, showered, and got dressed. As I tried to duck out of the locker room with my hood up and my duffel bag slung over my shoulder, some of my teammates started singing, “Do the Hustle … cha cha cha….” I could only laugh and shake my head as I exited the jubilant locker room.

Walking to the parking lot, I could see Ashley leaning against my car. When she saw me approaching, she looked at her watch and pretended to be perturbed, “Holy Cow, Ronnie. A girl could really get lonely waiting for you out here. I thought I told you to hurry out of the locker room.” She put on her best facial pout as to emphasize her point.

“Hey! It’s not every night that you score the winning touchdown. I must have talked to sports writers from 10 different newspapers,“ I said, rolling my eyes. “I see you have successfully guarded your chariot for the night. Are you ready to get going?”

Ashley looked great. She had changed from her poms sweater and skirt to a pair of dark blue, tight fitting jeans, a tight fitting white turtle neck that accentuated her large breasts, and a long sleeve plaid blouse unbuttoned over the turtle neck. As usual, my eyes were glued to her as I moved to open the door to the station wagon. Before getting in, she gave me a quick but tight hug. I had hugged Ashley before, but this hug seemed more heartfelt, more intimate. Was I reading to much into this short embrace?

“Tommie Henderson is having a bash at his place tonight, or Janet Williams’s parents are out of town. I am sure there will be people gathered there as well.”

While I had been to a few local home parties during the summer, I did take my football training rules seriously. I had refrained from parties during the school year, not wanting to risk having my coach find me at a party in town. Beer and wine were abundant at every party, and many were known to have a room reserved for those that liked to smoke weed as well. It was a small town, and word got out who was at whose party. I didn’t want to run the risk that night of getting kicked off the football team, but I also didn’t want to act like a nerd in front of Ashley.

“Ash, I am starved. I thought we would run through McDonalds and then stop at Terry’s house for a while. He and I have gotten pretty close over the last couple of years, and I have a great time hanging out with his family. Of course, if you really need to get home, I could take you straight there.” Here was the test. Will she think I am a complete nerd, or will she be game to hang with me where I want to go?

Ashley punched my arm, and much harder than I expected. “I asked for a ride home, but not straight home,” she was grinning as she talked. “I’m hungry too. Sounds great. Let’s get going.”

With that we were off. We both had a quick sandwich and coke at McDonalds, where we bumped into a few friends. Most of them congratulated me on the game while also giving us the eye. Many people were surprised that Ashley and I were together as we just ran in different social circles. I am sure I was grinning, for I was energized by the game and by being with Ashley. After McDonalds, we drove to Terry’s house. His parents were always welcoming, and tonight Terry’s uncles that were in their thirties were also there with their wives. After talking a few minutes about the game, one of Terry’s uncles started playing his guitar and played a pretty darn good rendition of Harry Chapin’s song Taxi. I had never really paid attention to the words of that song until that night? They were thought provoking to say the least.

After an hour or so at Terry’s, Ashley and I decided to get going. Terry’s parents were again so welcoming and invited Ashley to come back and visit anytime. As Terry walked outside with Ashley and I to the car, his father was giving me a big thumbs up in the doorway, and his mother was just laughing. We bid Terry farewell for the night, and headed toward Ashley’s home. In four years we had known each other, I had never been to her house, although I knew she lived in the country west of town. I told her she was going to have to give me directions on the way.

“So how did you like Terry’s family? I know it wasn’t a normal party with friends, but I always have a good time at their house and it is very relaxed.”

“Turn left at the next road. I had a great time. Really, I did. You kind of surprised me in that you were confident enough to take me some place without a big crowd. I thought you would take me somewhere where a lot of people could congratulate you on your great game tonight. You did play a great game tonight, but I have had more fun the last couple of hours hanging with you.” Ashley then slid across the car seat and draped my right arm around her shoulders. I silently said a quick thank you to God that I was in my parent’s station wagon and not in my old Mustang with the bucket seats.

“Then perhaps you don’t know me as well as you think you did. “

“Perhaps, I don’t. Isn’t that funny? We have known each other for four years now. I talk to you more than any other friend I have. You have even outlasted my boyfriends. Yet, we still don’t know each other that well. What are we going to do about that?” Ashley asked, her green eyes glowing.

“I’m not sure; did you have something in mind?”

“See that entrance to the field ahead on the right. My house is another mile down the road, but let’s pull into that field entrance and, ummmm, talk.”

I pulled into the entrance of the field, put the car in park, and turned off the lights. I wondered if this was where Ashley parked with her other boyfriends. That was a fleeting question in my mind, however, for my only thought was that I was parked and alone with Ashley and she still had an hour until she had to be home. I thanked God one more time that I had the family station wagon. I tried to outwardly portray to Ashley that I was calm and confident, but inside I was as excited as I had ever been with a girl, and we were still fully clothed. This wasn’t any girl I was with, it was Ashley Carter. Could this night get any better?

I opened my mouth to speak, and Ashley quickly put her finger to my lips, and at the same time uttered “Shhhhh.” She leaned her head forward to follow her finger, and in an electric moment our lips met. Her lips were wet, and warm, and were pressed firmly to my lips. My arm was still wrapped around her shoulders and I pulled her even closer to me, for the first time feeling her breasts close to my chest. Instantly, our lips parted, and our tongues began to dance together.

As we kissed, there were two thoughts running through my head. First, I was thinking this was the most passionate and exciting kiss that I had ever had. It truly was. Second, I could not believe that Ashley Carter was actually here with me, Ronnie Malloy, and that we were totally making out in a parked car. She could have her pick of any boy in the high school, or most local colleges for that matter, yet tonight she was here with me. No, I wasn’t dreaming. I was sure of it. I couldn’t believe that she was as into kissing me as I was into kissing her. Ashley caught my attention by grabbing my hair with one hand and pulling my head even closer to her. Our lips were locked together and our tongues were twirling inside each other’s mouth. Words couldn’t begin to describe my excitement and pleasure while kissing Ashley on that night.

I was lost in the moment, totally thrilled to be in that car with Ashley. The sensation of kissing, and hugging, with our hands roaming from our hair to our shoulders and backs. There was not room between us for a single piece of paper. I had lost my virginity a year earlier, and that experience was not nearly as heartfelt as what Ashley and I were sharing at that moment. Yes, we were fully clothed. Yes, our hands were nowhere near an erogenous zone. Yes, we were parked in a family station wagon at the entrance to a corn field at 10:30 at night. Yet, we both shared this indescribable emotional connection of sharing and caring for one another. Was it love?

I broke the kiss, and just stared into Ashley’s green eyes. They were bright with the reflection of the glow of the moon. She gazed back, with a searching look. Unspoken thoughts were shared between our eyes. At the same time, we both wrapped each other in our arms and held each other tight, our heads resting on each other’s shoulder. I did not want the night to end, but the reality of teenage curfews still hung over our heads. Ashley’s curfew was even more strict then my football team curfew. Knowing that I needed to get her home soon, I leaned back and opened my lips to speak. Again, she put her finger to my lips, this time so she could speak first.

“You really surprised me Ronnie Malloy. Tonight was wonderful, and the best night I have had out this school year. Thank you. There is this confidence about you that I have not experienced before.”

“It has been a wonderful night, Ashley. I believe we surprised each other. I want to do this again. Will you go out with me tomorrow night, perhaps we could catch dinner and a movie.” I even surprised myself that I had just asked this girl of my dreams out on a date.

Ashley broke the gaze of our eyes and looked down. “I can’t tomorrow night, Ronnie. I have a date with Kent Simmons. You remember, Kent, don’t you? He graduated 3 years ago and is at Northern Illinois now. He kept asking me out. Since we don’t have a game, or any school commitments tomorrow night, I said yes.”

“I see. Well, I am sure you will have fun.” I was disappointed to say the least. Maybe what I thought were shared feelings that evening weren’t as mutually shared as I thought.

Ashley raised her head and looked into my eyes. “Ronnie, I am going out with Kent tomorrow night because I already committed to him, and I want to see him. But, neither one of us imagined our feelings this night, especially during this last hour. I do want to go out with you again. “She began to grin and squeeze my hand. “This time though, Ronnie, you have to ask me out. No more me asking for a ride home!”

We both grinned and chuckled. “That’s a deal.”

I drove Ashley the last mile home, and we kissed for another five minutes in the car while we parked in her driveway. I certainly didn’t want to let go of her that night, and I sensed she felt the same way. Finally, we both walked up to her door, kissed, and I bid her good night. As Ashley opened the door to her house, I could see her younger sister, dressed in pajamas, standing in the doorway and giggling. She had been watching us kiss on the doorstep. They both waved good night to me, and I waved back as I returned to the station wagon and left her house.

At that very moment, I had a wide grin on my face. I felt I could run through the biggest defensive line without any blockers. That euphoric feeling was tempered with the fact that Ashley had a date with someone else the next night. If what we experienced tonight was heartfelt, why would she go on a date with another guy? That part was very confusing to me. However, I soon let those confusing thoughts go and just focused on the good feelings I had of being with Ashley. How many guys actually get to make out with the girl of their dreams? There was one other thought that entered my mind as I left Ashley’s house that night. That last thought actually brought an even bigger grin to my face and I chuckled to myself. For once in my life, I was not going to have any problem paying off a bet. The five dollars I had to pay out at the next practice on Monday was going to be very easy. Do the Hustle, indeed!

Twenty-five years later, as I pulled into the driveway of the home I now shared with my wife Ashley, I was still grinning thinking of that night of our first date. It was a memorable night for me and the start of a winding journey to our married life today. But even as I sat in the driveway fondly recalling that first date, my dream girl, my wife, was in the arms of another man. Why did I let her do this to me? Why did I not challenge her 25 years ago when she told me she was going on a date with Kent Simmons even though it was clear to both of us that we had strong feelings for one another? What kind of husband sits by while his wife is out fucking another man? It started 25 years ago, but still weighed heavy on my mind tonight. Even more so, it was beginning to tear at my heart, very slowly, very painfully.

*****