I read somewhere that for men in their mid-forties, ejaculation every 2-3 days was optimal for their physical and emotional health. I hoped that Charles had been masturbating for all those years when sex between us was separated by weeks instead of days. I'd used my vibrator until I needed human contact and he'd never turned me down when I snuggled up behind him and let him know I was ready.

This history presented me with an opportunity to show how ready I was to change. I started to wear sexier clothing around the house, but I did not want to risk "teasing without pleasing". I wanted to raise sexual tension without convincing him that I was only seeking attention. After reading more BDSM stories, I arrived at a solution. It was perhaps an unconventional use of the collar, but I didn't want to risk asking him to become educated on D/s protocol. So I took the direct approach.

"When you see me wearing this collar, I will wear it until you remove it, or give me permission to remove it or until the evening ends. I will wear it in public if that pleases you and it will show others that I am your willing slave. While I wear it, I will follow your commands to the best of my ability and you have my permission to discipline me when I fail to please you. I will put the collar on, or ask you to put it on me, when I believe you have earned this obeisance and I am ready to submit to your authority for the duration. This is not a demand for attention, it is an offer of recompense for the years of patience you showed me." With that, I put the collar on.

What I didn't tell him is that I intended to put it on every three days and to do whatever it took to get him hard and get him off every three days. I did not intend to initiate sex during the interim days. I wanted to create a new routine that was mutually satisfying and produced in him the relief of an adequate love life.

He didn't immediately start to command me and I didn't expect him to. If I understood him correctly, the right to be commanded by him was a trust I had to earn. It was weird alien logic, but he was not certain that he wouldn't pay a penalty for commanding me and I had to convince him that it was safe to stop walking on eggshells. I knew that I would have my bad moods and I would have to work to keep from turning my dramas into his problems. I had to avoid accusing him of causing me problems by trying to fulfill his needs and mine. So each collar-night, I would work hard to provide a positive rewarding response for each time he used me to please himself and for each gesture of respect or support he made to me.

Years of negative rewards had brought me to this point and there was only one way out -- the long slow reassuring way. I did not ever expect to earn his full trust. There were too many disappointments and too many emotional scars for that.

But when, at some time on each collar night, I would ask "May I suck your cock, Sir?" or "Would you like to use my wet pussy, Sir?"

I was teaching him how to fulfill my emotional needs. He still didn't lick my pussy and I think he was even less likely to initiate sex, but I didn't ask for either of those. They would be my signs that I had earned enough respect to trust again.

Within two weeks of starting collar night, putting on my collar began to have the desired effect. Since he was learning that he could rely on me to be willing to satisfy him sexually on that night, seeing the collar would change him. He would become more physically expressive, copping feels as he passed by me and directing me on how to please him more while I sucked his cock. He rewarded me with more kissing and cuddling and increased attention to my nipples. We were soon having more sex together than we had in years and my toys were staying in their drawer. I had enough sexual energy to want a good fuck every day, but I think letting the tension build made it easier for me to be submissive and that was the ticket to greater respect.

I was finally able to schedule an evening with Melanie, the second of his choices, and she and I spent more time planning for that evening. She wasn't interested in dinner. She had talked with Sandra and felt safe just showing up at our house. We had already agreed that her payment for helping me was that she would get to spank me, so we worked out a plan so that she would have an excuse to do as my collar permitted.

On her profile it said, "I would like a no-frills quickie with a Caucasian guy." I verified that Charles was okay with this and we timed her arrival for 7:45 PM on a Friday night because she had someplace to be later that evening.

Charles and I had an early dinner that day and before Melanie's arrival, I had ample time to prepare. I asked Charles to put on my collar and insert my butt plug with about five minutes to spare. He was already in the bed naked and waiting and I met Melanie at the door naked also, as we had agreed on. She gave me a quick kiss and unexpectedly, she cupped my pubic mound and gave it a quick squeeze. It sent a comforting wave of lust through me. When it seemed she had already given what she intended to offer, we headed into the bedroom.

"Sir, this is Ms. Melanie. She asked me to remind you that time is tight so if you don't mind, I will assist in undressing her?"

With that, I dropped to my knees and unzipped her slacks. She was wearing business attire and there was deliberately much to undo. She started by removing her jacket, scarf, blouse and bra while I removed her slacks, shoes and pantyhose.

As we had planned, I started to pull her panties down, but she commanded me with, "No, leave those on for now, Slave."

In the photos that she had sent for Charles' approval, she had been the bravest. Whereas Sandra was sorta tall, slender, and pale skinned, Melanie was short and had the dark hair and dark brown eyes that one would expect of an exotic Asian-Caucasian cross. She was more full-figured than either Sandra or me and, in her photos, her lingerie was quite sheer. Charles was clearly entranced by her as she climbed onto the bed and immediately slid the sheet down and started to suck his already hard cock.

"Mmmmmmmm," she said. "This will do nicely. Longer and thicker than my husband's. If it's okay with you Charles, I'll take this doggie style while your slave attends to my nipples."

"That works for me!" said my eager husband as he crawled off the bed and Melanie directed me to lie on my back under her chest.

After a little adjusting, her pussy was cock height as Charles stood beside the bed.

"Just slide those panties down and stick that big boy in me, please. Oooof, that's it. Damn that feels good."

I was soon licking and sucking whichever nipple she put in my mouth while she frigged her clit with her finger and Charles held onto her hips and pushed his meat into her faster and faster.

I could tell from her moans that Melanie was getting close and when she gasped, "Harder please!"

I wasn't sure which of us she was talking to.

I sucked harder and Charles slammed into her harder.

"Oh, yes! That's perfect! Oh gawd I'm cumminnnngggggg!"

 With a roar, Charles started pumping his cum into her and I thought his knees would buckle when Melanie said, "Oh, yes! I'm cumming again!"

When it was clear that her second orgasm was finished, Charles pulled out of her and she immediately pulled her panties up.

"I hate to fuck and run," she said, but that was a perfect fuck and the sooner I get on the road, the fresher this cum will be for my husband."

As we had planned, I jumped off the bed and said, "Wait a minute. That wasn't our agreement! I was supposed to lick that cum out of you."

"Our agreement, SLAVE, was for you to serve my needs while your husband fucked me. My needs include keeping this cum so my husband gets what he deserves."

I slammed my foot down like a spoiled child and conveniently expelled the butt plug in the process.

Melanie pointed at it and said, "I didn't hear anyone give you permission to remove that. You deserve a spanking."

She sat on the corner of the bed and ordered me to go over her knee.

Charles said "Wait!" and asked me if was okay with this, but Melanie pointed out that she was only doing what the collar said she could do.

Charles looked at me and I shrugged my shoulders and said, "I deserve what I deserve."

So I went naked over her knee like a spoiled child and she gave me 10 hard spanks with her bare hand, alternating cheeks.

Then she looked at the clock on the dresser and said, "10 more for making me late and this time, you must count each one and thank me for them or you will make me even later."

I was crying by the time she was done, but my pussy was on fire with desire.

She ordered me to get on my knees on the floor and then said, "You took your punishment very well and you deserve a reward for that.

She peeled down the front of her panties and spread her legs a little and said, "You may have one good lick before I go."

I stuck my tongue as far as it would go into her dark freshly fucked slit and pushed my nose into her dewy black patch and licked up to her clit, which I circled twice before she said, "That's enough!" and pulled her panties up.

She hurriedly dressed and was out the door and down the road like a whirlwind with a heartfelt, "Thank you very much for the great fuck Charles. Sandra was sure right about you."

Charles didn't have to know that as I was seeing her out the door, she also whispered, "Thanks for letting me spank you. That was fun."

He also didn't need to know that her husband was a fiction and that she was heading out to party with some girlfriends when she got back to her place and changed into her "slutwear".

When I returned to the bedroom, I quickly went over to Charles, who still seemed to be shocked by the tornado named Melanie, and said, "Well at least I still get to clean up this part of the fine mess that I've gotten myself into."

I slipped his cock into my mouth and cleaned their froth from him. I had positioned myself so that he could see my reddened ass in the full length mirror and as I had hoped, it turned his cock back on.

When he was hard again, I said, "Please Sir, fuck me as hard as you fucked her."

"I don't wish to give you a hard fuck, but you do deserve to be well fucked."

My heart leapt upon hearing this. Could it be? He gripped me firmly and positioned me on my back. He laid down beside me on his side and then lifted one of my legs over one of his, so we were almost spooning. Yes! This was the next best thing to him actually initiating sex. He decided not to give me what I asked for, but what would mean so much more. Because he is so much taller than me and has long arms, we discovered a very special sexual position when we were living together before we married. It probably has some special name in the Kama Sutra, but I just always thought of it as "Trip to Oblivion."

He nested his head on my arm next to my breast so that he could nibble my nipple. He reached his lower arm across my abdomen so he could fondle my opposite breast. He slipped his cock into my pussy and began to fuck me slowly. He reached over my leg with his upper arm and slipped his middle finger down into my slit. On top of all the direct sexual stimulation, this position gave me a wonderfully surrounded and secure feeling.

His name for this position was, "3-point assault." He controlled the pace and the motion and could apply extra attention to either nipple or to my clit while the other two points would get a constant level of stimulation. Because so much of his attention was focused on stimulating me, he didn't get much satisfaction until after I came, when he could focus on his own pleasure.

He started very slowly and built up the pace steadily, listening to me to determine whether to shift his stimulating effort. He gently nibbled my nipple but as I got closer to orgasm, his lips squeezed tighter and tugged harder. Sometimes I felt the slightest contact by a tooth and it sent a shiver of almost pain through me. His hand on my other nipple also became more forceful, rolling the hard little nub and pulling it with his fingertips. His finger on my clit worked the hardest, playing me like a musical instrument. He paced the trusts of his cock to be at maximum hardness and deepest penetration at just the right time when waves of pleasure crashed over me and left me totally shipwrecked on the shores of Come-Fuck-Me Island. Nothing else in the world mattered right then except the pounding of the surf as his orgasm peaked and then left him on the beach beside me, feeling just as boneless as me.

It may sound cliche, but this time I cried afterward -- long wracking smoopy tear-filled sobs, complete with running nose and the feeling that I would never again catch a breath. It was the kind of crying that makes anyone who hears it think you're having the worst day of your life.

I cried tears of nostalgia because this was the way it used to be.

I cried tears of yearning because this was the way that I wanted it to always be.

I cried tears of anguish because I'd had to abandon my naive belief that this was what I could always have.

And I cried tears of joy because Charles believed I had once again earned this one dose of blissful oblivion.

He knew not to try to talk to me. He knew this was how I let out whatever needed to get out and could not find any other way out. He just held me and waited and when it was over, I felt as if a giant weight had lifted off me. The downward slide seemed to have come to a stop. Now I could work on pulling away from the black hole of despair that we had been letting pull us in.