My former college roommate says I'm a freak.

I tell him to fuck off, then we both laugh.
He's married and I'm divorced, so I can be with different women (whenever I manage to find one who'll have me which isn't too very often I'll admit).

When we talk on the phone he always wants to hear the details if I've been with a woman. I tell him he's a freak because he just wants to beat off while I tell him about something he's not free to do. He tells me to fuck off then we both laugh.

He says I have an unhealthy appetite, or an obsession with eating pussy, therefore I MUST be some kind of freak.
I tell him he wouldn't think it was unhealthy if his wife let him do it more often and would wiggle her ass a little when he did, therefore he MUST be undersexed.

Keli was my kid's third grade teacher years ago. Keli is not undersexed. We bumped into each other at a TGI Friday's. Literally, we bumped into each other and I sloshed beer on her shirt--what women call a "top" (so where are you going to wear a shirt, on your bottom?).
She's divorced too, and dangerously pretty.

Yada-yada, ten days later we're naked in her queen-sized bed, and it turns out Keli and I are a perfect match: oh jesus I love to eat it, and oh god she loves to put it out.
A lot of times we don't even fuck.
I told my roommate I bet I've had my face between her legs in more positions than he knows how to fuck in. He says I'm a freak.

Then he says, "Tell me more about Keli."

Well, she doesn't shave her pussy, which is nice because it reminds me of what things were like when I first started having sex. Panties come off revealing nice bush and wet pussy. Visually a total turn-on. Making out and gently playing with your fingers in a chick’s pubic hair, then when she’s ready, not gently at all, pulling and twisting while you listen to her gasping and moaning.

But anyway, back to Keli. She's very physical. When I'm eating her, hell she works as hard as I do, pushing against me, grinding her pussy around and around on my face, sliding her wet self back and forth across my mouth, telling me what to do with my tongue. She makes it totally unbearable for herself, and that makes it fucking incredible for me.

She doesn't wrap her legs around my head much, she likes to spread herself wide, which is pretty goddam hot to see. Sometimes she reaches up and holds her toes to help keep her feet in the air and her legs wide apart.

My roommate says she and I both must be freaks, and I tell him if he ever heard the kind of groaning and whimpering and dirty talk she does he'd ask Jesus to make him a freak too.

This chick makes the hottest sounds during sex I've ever heard in my life. And she has the filthiest mouth! Keeps me hard as stone. One time she actually shrieked. Scared the shit out of me.

Her favourite position is getting on her knees, straddling my head, and sitting on my face while she holds onto the headboard. That way she can get some leverage and move her ass around better. She loves to go squirmy-squirmy sitting on my mouth, and it is so fucking wild feeling her warm soft wet pussy lips mashing into my open lips, grinding and sliding and trying to make herself cum. My roommate tells me she sounds like a real freak, and I can hear a bouncing sound in his voice and something slapping in the background.

My favourite is eating her in public. Not anywhere we might get caught, I'm not an idiot. Just doing it someplace where people don't normally do that sort of thing. Like in her car in broad daylight (my ex got my car), way over on the far side of the huge parking lot at Wal-Mart. Keli strips from the waist down, lays her seat back, and pulls her feet up on the seat, grabbing her ankles so her knees are pointed at the ceiling. I climb over and get on the floor in front of her seat and put my head in between her silky smooth thighs while she lifts her head and watches me, and moans and says stuff like, "Eat my pussy, you fucking bastard! Lick my hot clit fast and make me cum on your fucking face! Fuck my hole with your tongue, fuck me you ass-hole! Deeper! Fuck your goddam tongue in me deeper, faster!" (Shit, this is giving me a hard-on just thinking about it.)

I say to my roommate over the phone, "Hey, freak, do you have the balls to do your wife in the car?"

He doesn't say anything, but I can hear him breathing so I know he's there. Keli and I may very well have mastered the arts of eating and being eaten. I’ve tasted her hot wet pussy and made her cum in my face at least four or five times on every piece of furniture in every room in her apartment. Way more than 15 or 20 times on her breakfast table. It makes a lot of sense if you think about it. I get her a couch pillow for her head, she puts her soft round ass right at the edge of the table, then lets her gorgeous legs fall open. All I have to do is pull up a chair and grab her ankles. What could be more convenient?

Right, Roomy?
(slap, slap, slap, slap)

Roomy???

(from over the phone) FUUUUCK!!!!

Freak.