They say that many people find a future spouse at a wedding, I suppose because there is an atmosphere of romance, but I can't say it has worked for me. I did spend one ceremony in a church in north London exchanging increasingly lustful looks with the bride's cousin, but somehow that never came to anything.
However, there was a very horny reception once. It was in a big house, an old farmhouse in Guernsey, and although the family was rich and they could have afforded to hold it in a posh hotel, they chose to do it at home. The ceremony was early, 11am, so we were back at the house and consuming the champagne by 12.30.
I floated around and spoke to a few people and found myself in the corner of a large room with French windows looking out onto the garden. It was summer, so the doors were open and some people were on the lawn, but hot sun and alcohol are a recipe for mushy-brain disease to me, so I stayed indoors.
There were two women standing by the fireplace: Sara, and old flame of mine, and Grace, a medical secretary at my GP's practice, whom I knew a little through a mutual friend. I saw them looking over at me and then they both turned away and had a giggly conversation. It had been 10 years since I had sent those few weeks going out with Sara and although we hadn't been right for each other as a couple, we had had some pretty electric times at my flat.
As the time passed and the canapés came round for the umpteenth time, closely followed by the champagne refills, I was feeling pretty mellow and I think everyone else was too.
The two women had disappeared while I was deep in conversation with a dentist about how the recession affected his business. Then I became aware of a presence just behind me and turned round to find Sara hanging around. We exchanged pleasantries and talked about what we'd been doing since we last met. Then she said 'It's beautiful house, isn't it? Have you had a good look around?'
'No,' I said, 'I'm kind of a friend of a friend here and don't really know the family.'
Sara took me by the hand and said 'Let's have a wander.' She was slim - in fact thinner than slim now in her upper body, although there was still more flesh on her below the waist - with short blonde hair and a pretty face. She led me upstairs, then up another flight to a small room in the roof. A sign on the door said 'Make yourself at home.' Sara led the way inside and closed the door behind us, then stood close to me and said 'I think I treated you badly all those years ago.'
'Oh, that's okay,' I mumbled, but she interrupted.
'No, it was bad and I'm sorry.' She put her hand around my head and kissed me. I drew her body towards me and enjoyed the feel of her naked back and the satin of her aquamarine ball gown. We began fumbling with each other's clothing, looking for a way in.
'Listen,' I whispered in her ear, 'Remember there was this thing we used to do that you'd never done with anyone else?'
'Still haven't,' she said.
'Well,' I ventured, 'I'd like to do it again.'
'But I'm supposed to be saying sorry to you,' she said.
'It is nothing to do with making it up to anyone,' I explained. 'I loved doing that with you.'
'Okay,' she said hesitantly before locking the door and walking back to where I stood, next to the bed. 'Where do you want me?'
'Turn around,' I said. 'Now lean forward with your hands on the bed.
As she did so, I took the hem of her long dress and hoisted it up onto her back, draping it over her shoulders. She was wearing a lacy white bra and matching g-string. I kissed her all the way down her spine and past the waistband of her panties, then showered her buttocks with affection.
As I eased my face between them, I could feel the thin piece of fabric whose job it was to sit there in her arse and hold the other pieces together to give some semblance of being underwear.
I pulled the string out and stretched it to one side, then put my tongue right into her bottom and licked her little hole.
'Oh God,' she breathed, 'I'd almost forgotten how good that is.'
I knew it would take only a few seconds to make her come, and sure enough the attentions of my eager tongue brought her to a shuddering, squirming orgasm. I licked her long and slow with the flat expanse of my tongue, loving every millimetre of her intimate flesh, then I sat on the bed as we both got our breath back and then she said, 'I want you to fuck me from behind.'
She was still in position, with her hands on the bed and her rear end sticking out. I stood up and dropped my trousers and pants, then moved in behind her and slid my cock into her welcoming vagina. This time it was I who didn't take long. She had had an orgasm and wanted to do something purely for my pleasure, so I fucked her fast and hard with the sole intention of coming as quickly as possible. When I did climax, she ground herself against me to make the most of my throbbing cock.
At that moment her phone made the text message sound. She reached into her bag, which she had placed close to her hands, and pulled out a tissue, with which she wiped the semen from herself, and took another to wrap the first, before dropping both into the bag. Then she stood up, shook herself so that the dress slid back down, patted it a bit around the back and felt her hair, to gauge what state that was in.
She took her phone out and looked at the message, then said, 'Ooh, somebody else to see you.' She looked in a mirror and adjusted her hair, then strolled to the door, where she stood and turned with a smile, saying 'See you later.'
As she opened the door she looked down and I saw, sitting on the landing, Grace. They exchanged a few giggly sentences before Sara headed off down the stairs and Grace entered the little room. I had hastily done up my trousers but must have looked as guilty as hell.
Grace sat next to me on the bed and put her arm around my neck. After a long, languorous kiss, I said 'Grace, this is all very...'
'I've been having sexual fantasies about you for ages,' she said. 'I was talking to Sara about it and she said we should give you a good time because you looked a bit lost downstairs.'
'That's very ... considerate of you,' I said, and we were back kissing again. Grace was short and, to use an unflattering word, dumpy. Always been overweight and always would be -- but very attractive all the same. She had dark brown hair and dark eyes, and the other word that describes her is horny -- that indefinable look that says 'serious sex required and administered'.
She too had on a long dress, but hers was black, simpler and tighter. I reached around the back and unzipped it, and she stood up and stepped out of it before removing her bra to expose heavy breasts with big brown areolas. She sat down and lay back on the bed. Her panties were black, plain cotton and far more functional than Sara's g-string. They were the sort of pants you can get your hand in and really enjoy having full access to a woman's knickers. And that is what I did, slid my hand down inside the front with that action that doesn't occur anywhere else in life.
She was smooth down there, freshly shaved or waxed or whatever.
By now Grace had unbuttoned my shirt and I slid out of it, then quickly took off my trousers, leaving my pants on for her to explore, which she did immediately. She felt a handful of male organs in cotton before slipping her hand inside and examining the goods, running her fingers up and down my erection and holding my balls, perhaps appreciatively.
'So tell me about these sexual fantasies,' I urged her. 'What do we do in them?'
'I'll show you,' she replied, pulling my boxers down and taking my cock in her mouth. 'Then you lick me,' she continued. 'From behind.'
She got on all fours and as she did, she said quietly, 'I hear you like this sort of thing.'
'What sort of thing?' I asked.
'Sara told me ages ago,' she confided. 'She said you used to lick her bum. Is that what you were doing today?'
'I couldn't possibly tell you that,' I protested.
'You can do it to me,' she said.
'Ask me,' I demanded.
'Chris, will you lick my bum?' she said sweetly. That turned me on completely and I pushed my face right up behind her and got my wicked tongue into her. She eased forward to give me more room and gave little yelps in between the groans of ecstasy. I could hardly believe my luck: two rounds of the most erotic of events in one day -- one hour, in fact.
Grace didn't come as easily as Sara, so I slid my thumb into her vagina to help things along and played with her clitoris at the same time. 'Oh, God that's nice,' she purred before melting into her orgasm and slumping forward. I shuffled up to her level, and we kissed.
'My fantasy isn't going to be complete without penetration,' she said seriously. I moved on top of her and was about to plug her missionary-style when she raised her legs and put her feet over my shoulders. She yelped and growled and grabbed the duvet and shook her head from side to side as I shagged her hard, feeling my cock right up inside her, so far that I half expected it to poke the skin of her abdomen up. Then she had a huge, raging orgasm in which she grabbed my buttocks and pressed her groin against mine.
I pulled back and gently but firmly rubbed my penis inside her velvet walls until I came, and shot my spunk into her beautiful hot depths.
'Wow,' I said, 'I've been wanting to shag you for ages too.'
'You can shag me any time you like,' she said. 'I think we'd better have a quick shower before we go back downstairs.'
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