My Favourite Bitch

If ever there was a bitch, it was her. Man, she was always arguing with me over anything and everything. She thought I was a pervert. I ain’t no pervert, it’s not my fault that people happen to like to ask me about my sexual preferences and I indulge them. I was having one of my usual conversations and saw Bitch looking over at me. It almost looked as if she was flirting, or trying to. Suddenly a voice comes at me from behind:

“Dude, she totally wants your cock,” the voice said.
“What the fuck?” I shouted and the whole office looked to see it was only me (I’m the loudmouth sexual deviant, remember?) and went back to work. The voice in question was Bitch’s best friend, whom I always wanted to screw.

“I’m telling you, she told me that she wants your cock.” Nah, I thought, this has to be a joke: some sort of set-up. Won’t catch me falling for it. But Vanessa just repeated what she said, slowly, whilst licking her lips.

“Yer yankin’ me chain ‘ere, ain’tcha?” I said, pissed off, turned on.
“Nope, she actually said that and she wanted you to know” Vanessa was deadly serious, I could tell just by looking at her, but her (sexy) body language was also a dead give-away.

I decided to think this over, still doubt in my mind. Of course, I always did want to fuck this smart-arsed broad of a woman. I guess this is my only chance, I decided to take the direct route to get her attention.

“Hey Bitch!” I shouted at her from across the room, “Get yer arse over here”
“Who you callin’ a bitch, I could fuckin’ get you sacked, ya wee bastard!” She screamed at me, coming over to my desk, looking like she wanted a piece of me in her jaws fire in her eyes. Heh, just wait Bitch, I’ll get ye.

“Heard whispers that you want me to ram you from behind,” I said, twisting Vanessa‘s words to fit what I wanted them to mean.
“Is that sexual harassment I hear?” She got madder. She only pulled the sexual harassment thing out of the bag if she wanted to scare me, or if she was in a joking mood, the weirdo.
“Can it, fucks sake, that got old two years ago.”
“You didn’t even work here two years ago, Bastard!” She sniped back
“Yea, go figure, Yatch”

She walked off, trying to look pissed off, but failing miserably, due to the great big grin and unconscious seductive bum wiggle. I took a stretch and decided it was time for lunch, before my boner broke the table. I walked past and made a snide remark at her and thrust my middle finger at her face, she looked disgusted but seemed to enjoy it at the same time. I’m gonna get her.

I sat down to lunch of a tuna, mayo and wholegrain mustard on a well fired roll. A friend came and sat down beside me.

“Thank God, a friendly face.” I said
“Wha?”
“Oh, Bitchface has been on at me again.”
“Why don’t you just admit that you want her?” Lewie asked
“I was waiting for her to admit it to me, but she‘s too much of a shitebag,” I said, my tone of voice giving something away.
“Hm, the way you say that has me intrigued, go on.”
“Well you know that girl she hangs about with, well she told me that Bitch, and I quote, ‘wants my cock’, those were her exact words, man, no fuckin’ lie.” I say, hand on heart and giving a scout salute.
“Time for a smoke?” Lewie says, astonished.
“Yea, let’s go.” We start walking down the corridor and into the lift to go to the smoking area, about a mile away from where we were sitting. We take a seat in the “playpen” and I start to tell Lewie about the strange ways that Bitch has been looking at me recently.

“Don’t look now, but here comes Satan!” Lewie informs me.
“Perfect!” I say into my hands, pissed off “Can’t even have a quiet smoke, fuck’s sake!” Bitch walked up to me and placed her hand on my shoulder.
“Wanna move, Shit-head?”
“Nope, Bitch, happy where I am.” I state.
“Suit yerself, I’ll just sit on you.” Next minute I know, the Bitch is straddling me so that she is facing me, moving around, trying (it seemed) to get me to put my hands on her butt, or worse still: get me hard.

“Jeez, Bitch, wanna quit with the moving?” I say, taking a draw of my cigarette.
“Why? You getting hard?” She asks in her best baby voice, pinching my cheek and moving around on my crotch as she said.
“Naw, ye just weigh a blimmin’ ton, besides I gotta get back to work, got quotas to make, unlike you. Fucking boss’s pet here” I said turning to Lewie and taking another drag. My hand must have brushed against her breast, because Bitch was jumping up and slapping me.

“What the fuck was that for, Bitch?” I yelped in terror.
“Fucking touching my tit, Bastard!” She yelled as if she’d never been touched there or as if an accident hadn’t occurred ever before.
“Calm down, Bitch, it was an accident, you shouldn’t have been sitting in such close proximity to my hand,” I said, with a smirk on my face.
”I knew this would end in tears.” Lewie commented, trying to escape the wrath of Bitch.
“My name’s Anna, use it, Bastard! And you, stay the fuck out of this!”
“Yeah, well you should call me by my name, maybe stop calling me Bastard.” I replied all indignant-like, swaggering away whilst fixing my hat. The rest of the day, we avoided confrontation, lest we get sacked.

Next day was somewhat unremarkable, but the day after that just took the cake. Me and Bitch had another argument, as if to make up for not arguing yesterday. This one was really heated and it ended with both of us being separated and the boss trying to get to the bottom of this continual and recently increased arguing. I decided it best to leave it alone, not discussing it with the boss. I believe “I’ll handle it” were my exact words. I guess Bitch must have said the same thing, seeing as nothing came of it (thank fuck). Break time came and I was all alone (Lewie had a day off and I couldn’t be bothered with that rest of the dopes in the office). I felt a gentle stroking of my hair and turned around to see it was Bitch.

“Oh it’s you, waddaya want?” I asked, fully expecting nastiness.
“Wanna take a walk?” Bitch asked, I think she was horny.
“OK, but don’t kill me, right?” We started walking.
“I feel I should apologise for calling you a perve earlier on, I guess I’m just trying to keep you at arms length ’cos I don’t want to admit my feelings for you.” Anna said, in a warm, sincere voice. One I‘d never heard her using, at least, not to me.
“Nah, I’m the one who should apologise, I keep calling you Bitch and for no good reason,” I said, feeling bad for being such an arsehole to Anna. “I ought to get back to work.” I continued.
“Don’t worry about it, I fixed it so that Barry would let us talk this over, he said to take our time, quotas been made and work’s gonna run out soon.”
“Man, that dude’s a brilliant boss.” We walked along a bit and Anna grabbed my hand and suddenly (rather violently, too) led me into the women’s bathroom.

“Call me mad, but I really need you right now, all this arguing and making up got me hot!” Anna reached down and felt for my zip, found it and yanked it down, in desperation.
“Whoa, wait! Why the sudden need for cock?” I asked.
“I guess I just realised that this could be an opportunity for us to... resolve our differences. ” Anna moaned reaching for my cock.
“No undies? I like it!” She exclaimed rubbing my cock and looking deep into my eyes. I thought that I might as well get to it and reached under her very short skirt and pulled off her red lacy thong, which she stepped out of, turned around and picked up, all the while rubbing her arse against my 9“ cock. She turned around to face me again and gave me access to her cunt. I could feel that it was waxed and looked down to see that there was a tiny tuft of soft, blonde hair (which was a bit strange - she was a natural redhead, after all). She decided to get rid of her black blouse and her bra-less tits burst free. Lovely they were, too. I’d say about a C cup, with nipples that begged to be sucked. I did just that. Taking a nipple into my mouth, I tasted the divine, fleshy nub, kneading her tits and finger-fucking her cunt with the grace of a jackhammer.

“God, please suck my tit, ya perve!” Anna exclaimed and I took just about the whole of her left tit into my mouth, sucking, slurping and grabbing hold of the right one, teasing her nipples as I did so, still banging my fingers in and out of her cunt, feeling her getting wetter and wetter by the second, hearing the wet squelch of my fingers deep inside her. Her wanking of my cock got more ferocious and she begged me to fuck her. She turned around to facilitate this and I entered her from behind. Feeling her tits, watching them sway as I slowly fucked her, gradually getting faster and then slowing down again. I loved teasing her. I felt her body begin to tense up and reached in front of her to give her a helping hand. My finger was right on her clit, rubbing hard as her orgasm washed over her (more like crashed, like violent waves).

“Give me that cock, Bastard!” She shouted, reverting back to Bitch. “I want your cum in my mouth!” I popped my cock out of her sopping wet cunt and she turned around, taking the member into her mouth and deep throating it. God, she was fucking amazing, using her throat to squeeze my cock, her tongue lashing it and her hand wanking whatever was not in her mouth.

“Ah, Bitch, suck my cock" I moaned in deep ecstasy. It didn’t take long before I let rip a vile unending stream of jizz deep into her throat. She lapped it up and gave me a passionate kiss on the lips and gave me the thong.

“Wanna wear this?” She said and I practically jumped into the thing. We both made ourselves decent and headed, hand in hand, back to the office, wanting to share our secret with the whole world.

“Guess you two finally got it on then?” Barry said, “Dave, you owe me a score!” Murmuring was heard around the office and a sigh of relief or two also. We really do make the world’s strangest couple. Oh well, like we both say: if you can’t beat ‘em, bone ‘em. Maybe we’ll invite Vanessa for a threesome next time...