OK, so this is my first true story. I’ve kind of been in two minds about whether or not to write about myself because I don’t want to come across as too vain or self-centred but it’s been a bit hectic and I can’t really tell anyone about what happened so I’m offloading to you guys.
I guess I should start with Adam. Adam has been one of my dad’s friends for almost ten years. He actually started off working for my dad but then he got tired of minimum wage and went elsewhere. Dad didn’t mind; he’s cool like that. Anyway, so Adam’s about thirty to thirty-five I think and because Dad sold his business and went off to work as a management accountant, Adam became a client at the place I work. I’m like a minor accountant with a small qualification and it’ll be like three years before I’m fully trained but Adam didn’t really seem to mind.
Adam was engaged once like five years ago but I don’t really know the ins and outs of it (it seems rude to ask) and all I know is that somehow it broke off and his ex-fiancée went to live in Australia. (I know; could she go any further?!)
I’ve always thought of Adam as a bit of a Christian Bale lookalike because he’s got the exact same hair as Christian when he does The Dark Knight
. Apart from that though, Adam’s about 6 “2 and he works out quite a lot so he’s in good shape. He also has this sort of foreign-y look about him which is just…wow!
Well, I’d always sort of admired Adam from a distance because I knew there’d be no chance of us ever hooking up. He and my dad are pretty close and I really wouldn’t want to come between them. Adam’s always been sort of polite around me, never anything untoward so I guess I can’t blame myself for thinking nothing would ever happen.
Anyway, it was last Monday when things began to change. Adam came into the office to drop off some invoices and we were just talking normally. I was working into my lunch break (as usual) so he stayed for a little longer than he should have and the conversation got a little more unprofessional. We were talking about music (a topic you can never go wrong with) and he was looking through my iPod. My iPod is like the most embarrassing thing in the world. I’ve had it since I was twelve and it’s the old 30GB brick with a whole load of High School Musical and Britney Spears and all that crap on it. I could buy a new one but hey, that things got serious memories!
Anyway, so then Adam just ever so casually asked if I wanted to go to dinner with him on Friday. I think I should have been more shocked at the question but it just seemed like a normal thing to suggest at the time so I said I’d let him know. So then like five minutes later he’d gone and I realised he’d taken my iPod with him. It was then that I started to panic a bit. Not about the iPod, about the date. I mean this was Adam, a client
. It was totally against company policy to date a client and besides; what the hell would my dad think?!
I already knew I was going though; there was no question about it. My Friday nights usually comprise of like one drink and then going home to geek up on Inheritance Tax and all that crap. Compare that to a date with Adam, and it really wasn’t a hard decision.
So Friday night finally rolled around and I had serious butterflies. I hadn’t been on a ‘proper’ date in like a year and the fact that it was with Adam just made me all the more nervous. I literally tried on every outfit in my wardrobe before deciding on the first black dress I’d picked. My bed was just like a heap of tried and tested clothes which is weird because usually I have OCD when it comes to keeping my apartment tidy.
Anyway, Adam came and picked me up and drove to this really nice place which kind of impressed me because when I was at high school me and my best friend Tammy always used to walk by there on a weekend and imagine how nice it was inside. That was when I was a reckless teenager though and now, being all dressed up and taken there by a date; it felt really nice.
So we talked and talked and talked. I was kind of glad that Adam wasn’t one of those guys who just talks about football all day because I don’t know anything about football. In fact, I only learnt the offside rule last week when my brother explained it to me. Anyway, Adam was all up-to-date on current affairs and all the Iran stuff and gay marriage and I go on Google News
pretty much every day so we knew what was going on, and yeah, I was sort of getting more and more impressed by the minute.
It was about eight when we went back outside and even though it’s just March, it’s actually been pretty warm around Leeds. There were loads of daffodils which I adore and yeah, everything just seemed to look nicer than when we’d gone in! So then Adam casually mentioned that he was redecorating his kitchen. My mum’s gone into property development recently so for some crazy reason he thought I’d be able to give him some advice on the colour scheme. I’m not exactly sure why I agreed but I thought I’d be able to blag my way through and besides, I really wanted to see where he lived. I’m nosy like that.
He drove to his place and I put the radio on in the car and we were listening to ‘Glad You Came’
by The Wanted and Adam was saying that he hated boy bands but to be honest I kind of have a crush on Max (the lead singer). Anyway so I pretty much refused to turn it off and I started telling him about how The Wanted had gone to the USA and been on Ellen DeGeneres
and their song was in Glee
and they were getting international, just like One Direction and Adele. Adam seemed bored out of his brain so I decide to shut up and then like two minutes later we were outside his apartment block.
A lot of people on this site think I’m more ‘sexually experienced’ (because of my stories) but if I’m honest, I really haven’t been with many guys. At all. This was why I was trying to understand why on earth I’d even agreed to come back to Adam’s place. Anyway, I tried not to dwell on it. Adam was a gentleman, right?
Anyway, his apartment was really nice because it was right on the main road and when you looked out of the window you could see all the cars and the lights moving around below. It was also really neat and tidy which sort of surprised me because usually when I go to a guys apartment (namely my brothers!) it’s a complete mess and there’s like tennis racquets lying around everywhere. But no, Adam had it all sorted and he was asking what sort of colour I’d go for in the kitchen or whether he should get tiles instead and I was thinking ‘How the hell am I supposed to know?!’ but I just gave neutral responses and pretty much copied what my mother always says like, ‘So would you have a border in the tiles?’ and ‘Would you have them all the way to the ceiling?’ I think I sounded like I knew what I was talking about.
Anyway, so then Adam offered me a drink and I was like, ‘No, I should really go’ even though it had been barely ten minutes since we’d got there and then he insisted so I sipped at the white wine trying to act like it was something I did every day. He was sort of watching me drink it and I said something stupid like ‘Stop looking at me; you’re putting me off.’ And then he said something equally stupid in the form of a compliment and his voice was sort of low and I realised he was standing a little too close for comfort. I say a little too close but it was actually a LOT too close because his leg was touching mine and it was, yeah, basically too close. Anyway, so I finally finished my wine and he took the glass off me and then he kind of paused. His face was somewhere above mine and I was telling myself not to look up but I could smell his aftershave and Adam always smells like heaven and for some crazy reason I looked up. He didn’t waste a second. I’d hardly even registered his face when he kissed me. I heard him put our glasses down somewhere behind me and then his hands went around me and he was just kissing me. I was shocked for about five seconds (which is a long time when you think about it) but then I thought ‘Ah, what the fuck.’ And I kissed him back. Adam was a good kisser. He wasn’t too forceful but just hard enough to be firm and he moved his tongue in just the right way and well, I guess he’d had a lot of experience. His hands were somewhere on my back and then I could feel them getting lower and lower towards my ass and the alarm bells went off. I was enjoying the kiss too much though so I just squirmed a little and he seemed to realise he needed to back off because his hands moved up again.
I stopped the kiss for a second to just look at him and it was then that I got a little scared. Adam has the most gorgeous brown eyes in the world and all evening they’d been twinkly and smiling like usual but now the look in them was a lot more serious, and it just made him look a lot darker and dangerous. OK, so some girls love the danger and I guess I would have too had it not been Adam I’d just been making out with.
“I think I should go.” The words came from the sensible side of my brain and I was glad I’d managed to get them out.
Adam didn’t move for a moment and then, “Really?”
“Yeah.” I sort of pushed past him, “I have a whole load of work to do.”
I suddenly felt really self-conscious. I could feel his eyes on me and I knew that he wanted more. God, I
wanted more but this was the first date and I’d already gone far enough. I just had to get the hell away from him before I did something I’d regret.
I turned to look at him before I went, “Thanks.”
He shrugged, “For what?” He had a slightly pissed off look on his face and that just made me feel bad.
“For a really nice evening.” I tried to make it look like I wasn’t running away.
“So you enjoyed yourself?” Adam had somehow managed to surreptitiously walk across the hall without me noticing and now he was stood in front of me.
“Yeah. It was fun.”
He sighed, “Well, that’s the important thing, isn’t it? You had a nice time.” I couldn’t help think his voice was slightly mocking as if he was acting like I was some stupid kid.
“Yeah.” I had my hand on the door.
“You know,” Adam’s voice was calm, “Tonight doesn’t have to end here. It’s not even late yet. I’d hate to think I’d scared you away.”
“You haven’t.” I said automatically. I turned back to look at him again, “It’s just that this is like the first time we’ve even been out and we can’t just…let things get out of control.”
“Mm-hm.” Adam nodded as if I’d just said the most important thing in the world, “I agree. Totally. I don’t do things like this. Ever. But sometimes things happen and you can’t let them slip away. You have to…seize the moment.”
I tried to figure out what he was talking about, tried to make it seem like it wasn’t the worlds biggest innuendo but then he was kissing me again and this time his body was pressed up against mine and he was pulling me into him and I guess I just melted. His mouth was harder than before and every time I tried to slow down a little he’d just push harder against me until I reasoned that since there was nothing I could do to stop him, I might as well go along with it. Like I believed that. He pulled away for a second and I tried to hang on to the last sensible thought I had,
“Adam, my dad’s gonna kill you.”
He shrugged, pulling off his jacket, “Don’t tell him then.”
And his mouth was on mine again, his hands on my butt, pulling me into him. The alarm bells were ringing insistently in my head but I was too far gone. I couldn’t have cared less. Adam’s body felt way too good, and his scent had just overpowered my brain. There was no way back now. He was holding really tight onto my ass and I was thinking ‘Time to let go now’ which he did a minute later but then his hands were pulling up on my dress and that was worrying me. His mouth was on my neck and I’m a sucker for neck kisses so I was just sort of leaning against the wall and saying pointless things like ‘We really shouldn’t be doing this.’ And Adam knew I didn’t mean a word of it and his hands were just stroking my legs and getting higher and higher.
He stopped for a minute though and I could hear him fumbling with his own clothes and I could hear the clinking as he unbuckled his belt and then I heard his zipper going down and that was just like the most significant sound of the whole evening. I didn’t dare look down because I’ve always found something vaguely scary about penises. I can’t explain it, it’s just a weird thing I have. I guess I’ll get more comfortable with experience but with Adam, I found I literally couldn’t look down. It didn’t matter much anyway because then he was kissing me again and his hands were going up under my dress and he didn’t stop on my legs this time, he just went straight for my underwear and he was pulling at it and touching me and his fingers felt really cool and kind of refreshing.
Anyway, he didn’t do that for long, his hands moved around behind me and then he was lifting me up a bit by my butt and I could look properly at his face now. We were both sort of breathless and he looked at me and said something like, ‘We’re doing this, right?’ It was some sort of stupid question like that anyway and I probably nodded or something and then one of his hands was between my legs and pushing my underwear to the side and I could feel his cock right there pressing against me. That scared me a quite a lot because this was the first time I was going to have sex without having drunk at least three beers. It was too late to stop now anyway and besides, I was kind of excited.
Anyway, then Adam began to push in and he was kind of groaning as he went in really slowly and I think I was making some sort of noise but to be honest, I can’t really remember; I was just trying to feel good. And eventually he was completely inside me and I was sort of gasping because he felt really big. And then he said like the first phrase from the sexual handbook, ‘You’re so fucking tight’. I guess that is the first phrase because I’ve read a tonne of stories with that in and god, having it said to me in real life kind of reinforced the fact that I was actually having completely sober sex.
Adam was breathing kind of hard and I was kissing his neck which felt really nice because it was all rough and manly (!) and I could see his Adam’s Apple which kind of made me giggle ridiculously because Adam had an Adam’s Apple. Aw, gimme a break!
So then Adam started moving and he was holding really tight onto my waist and his fingers were sort of digging in and I stopped giggling because it suddenly seemed a lot more serious. He started pushing in and out and I was glad I had the wall behind me to lean on because he was going quite hard and I don’t think I would have been able to support it all myself.
I think I was sort of yelping at this point because he was going quite fast and let’s be honest, a yelp isn’t exactly the sexiest sound in the world so I tried to control myself and as I got used to the rhythm I think I was kind of moaning. Well that was better than yelping anyhow. Adam was whispering all sorts of things and half the time I wasn’t even listening but I could just catch the odd bits like ‘You’re so beautiful’ and all that sort of stuff you’d expect. I was kind of relieved he hadn’t started talking dirty to me because to be honest I don’t know how I would have responded.
Anyway, so I don’t know how long I’d been up against that wall but I kind of didn’t want it to stop because after the initial discomfort, it felt really nice to have him moving in and out of me. But then one of his hands was going further up my dress and feeling my chest and just driving me wild. I’ve always been a bit self-conscious about my boobs because they are way smaller than I would have liked but the way Adam was making me feel, just made me think that maybe they weren’t so bad after all.
So then his hand moved down and he was pushing his finger down on my clit which just felt like the craziest sensation in the world. I was all wet down there but super sensitive and when he touched me I think I made some weird sort of sound. Anyway, he started stroking me gently with just the tip of his finger which was a weird contrast to the speed with which he was slamming in and out of me. But I seriously was not complaining. His finger was there for a couple of seconds and then he started getting steadily harder, pressing down and sending these little tremors through my body. I knew I was going to orgasm soon and I think he sort of knew it too because he started fucking me even harder and my whole body was jerking against the wall. His finger was moving in this crazy way now and my legs went all tense and then I moaned really loudly and I couldn’t stop myself clenching around his cock, holding him in. I’d had orgasms before but having one during sex made it a LOT better and it felt amazing to sort of share it with Adam who kind of groaned real loud half a minute later and then he came too, inside me, which was a totally new feeling but great all the same.
Anyway, I could feel these little aftershocks running though my body and it sounds freaky but Adam was sort of shuddering inside me. Like a minute later though, the high was all gone and I sort of came to terms with what we’d just done. I felt kind of sweaty and unclean and Adam slowly pulled out of me and set me down gently on the ground. I kind of made some excuse and went to the bathroom to clean up.
When I came out, Adam was still standing in the hall. He looked really pleased with himself and I was trying to think of some escape tactic when his phone rang. He picked up his jacket and pulled the phone out and by the way he looked at the screen I could see his face just fall.
“Who is it?” My voice sounded kind of weird and I cleared my throat.
“It’s Harry.” Adam sounded thrown, “Y’know, your dad.”
Like I didn’t know my own fathers name. I suddenly felt sort of cheap and seedy. I couldn’t believe I’d just had sex with Adam
“I think I should go.”
This time, Adam didn’t seem to care. I picked up my bag as he answered the call in the most falsely casual voice I’ve ever heard.
I didn’t even want to know.
The next morning I woke up and checked my phone. I had 22 missed calls. Almost all of them were from Adam.
Four days have gone by and I still don’t know what to say to him. I still like him and I can totally see us together but to be honest, I don’t really know what he thinks of me. He has an appointment to come in on Thursday anyway so I guess I can’t avoid him forever.
Besides, he still has my iPod.
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<a href="http://www.lushstories.com/stories/reluctance/friday-9th-march-2012.aspx">Friday 9th March 2012</a>