So I discovered that my wife is an active member of an erotic stories forum and I wish I had not. She might still be with me. It happened like this:
We had been together for ten years and I honestly thought she was happy with me. I admit I thought I was lucky to marry her as she was (and is) very pretty and I was not really in her league for looks. But she obviously found something in me though gods knows what.
The day I discovered her account at (not the true name of the site I just use it to avoid legal issues) was the worst of my life.
She always used to get up earlier than me and as I was such a dopy sleepy head I never really questioned why she would need one and a half hours to prepare herself for work.
One morning I woke earlier than usual and decided to go into her study and surprise her with an espresso. But she was not there and I heard the shower roaring away. I noticed some odd looking images on the PC screen and went to her desk. That is when I realised she had a sexual dimension to her that she had kept secret from me. I scrolled up the screen and noted the domain address. She was logged in and I noticed her username and eager not to be discovered I dashed out before my wife emerged from the shower and dived back into bed, my heart thumping in my chest.
I investigated further at the office. Locking my door as soon as I arrived and going directly to the secret site.
I understood quickly what the site was all about. Since marrying Sophie I had not bothered too much with porn and had never really been into erotic fiction. I suppose that my wife fulfilled all of my carnal desires and there was no need. She had the best tits and ass as far as I was concerned and so looking at naked women on the net held no interest for me. It was a major shock to me that Sophie had this secret interest.
Of course I was curious to discover exactly which areas she found intriguing so I managed to find her in the list of members and I studied her profile carefully. Her user name was not NaughtyGirlie but it was something not too dissimilar and for the purposes of this narrative I will refer to her as NaughtyGirlie at times. Her avatar was a silhouette of a female over the knee of some figure with one hand ready to strike.
From my research I gathered that NaughtyGirlie had rather narrow interests and had written six stories. It was a shock for me to discover that she was an author of erotic fiction, a very popular one from what I could gather as each story attracted numerous comments. As I began to read the first story I was interrupted by a telephone call from my immediate superior. My presence was needed at a board meeting so I had to abandon my research. But my head reeled for the whole morning. I was struck with fear. Sophie had a secret life. I had to make an excuse at the meeting and dashed out to the toilet to compose myself. But tears flowed! I loved her! A lot of husbands say they love their wives - but I really did! And do you know why? Because she's so beautiful, so beautiful!
You often read about wives finding porn on their husband's computer and I now knew exactly how hurtful it could make you feel. That's what it was like. I felt betrayed. Why did she not share her interest with me? In fact betrayal is not the worst if. Insulted is the word, insulted!
I found an hour in the afternoon to read NaughtyGirlie's first story which was entitled "Heavy Hand of The Boss" in which the central character, a secretary, who arrives late each day and messes up here and there, is called into the manager's office, given a dressing down and the option of being spanked or being sacked. The spanking is opted for. The next story, "Punished By The Head" is about a sixteen year old schoolgirl caught cheating in her exams. She is sent to the headmaster, who administers some justice to her bare bottom over his knee.
I will not describe the other stories as they were all very similar and I began to get an idea about what excited NaughtyGirlie.
In the evening I arrived home and heard a sudden scuffle as I opened the door.
"I'm home darling!" I called, but there was no reply, just a fussing sound of footsteps.
"Are you there sweetheart?" I raised my voice a little, "Hello!"
Sophie emerged and came down the stairs, she looked a little red and her hair was ruffled.
"What have you been up to?" I asked.
"Oh just answering some emails" she said smiling and straightening her hair.
Somehow I doubted that and I dread to think what she was really doing. She did look ravishing though. I am no good at describing people so to give you an idea of her appearance she looks like the lady who played Brigit Jones in the film, though prettier, oh much prettier, if you know what I mean, better figure and big blue eyes. Anyway I came to her amorously but she put me off, saying maybe later. Well that's how it was with me and her. I was always up for it - she rarely was. Now I know why.
From the stories I had read of hers it was obvious to me that she craved to be mastered by a greater man than me. I was shorter than her, that was one problem. Oh why did she marry me if that is what she wanted? I was hardly the archetypal man having more in common with Mr Bean than Mr Darcy.
I decided to go on as if nothing had happened and mull over what to do.
Then one day I happened to find a slip of paper in the lounge. Sophie had been careless. She had written down her username, NaughtyGirlie, alongside another word which I hoped was her password. If I could get into her account I might find out more information that would help me to save my marriage.
In the afternoon at work I logged into NaughtyGirlie's account and found dozens of messages from her and other members, plenty of correspondence to sift through. It took me 2 hours to get through all of it! Most messages were from men, utterly disgusting messages which, I noted with approval, had not been replied to. Though there was some two way correspondence going on with some men who were a bit more subtle with what they had to say. But the most revealing messages were between NaughtyGirlie and StTriniansMiss, another woman and from what I could gather - a big fan of spanking fetish.
In one message StTriniansMiss asks NaughtyGirlie what her wildest spanking fantasy is. This is her reply:
"Ohhh there are so many fantasies but the wildest would have to be me as a nurse in a hospital being spanked by one of the surgeons for leaving a swab inside a patient. That would be sooooo hot. Mmmm I must write a story for that one. What about you?"
I read on through their correspondence and I found this hurtful reply to a question from StTriniansMiss about NaughtyGirlie's partner and whether she has a spanking relationship.
"I wouldn't want to be spanked by my husband. The idea just doesn't do anything for me. He's much too square - and anyway I just don't see him that way. I want to be spanked by someone masterful, an authority figure. I really do - but I suppose it will never happen :-("
That was the worst I have felt in a long time. I suppose I hated her for a day after reading that but I soon cooled down. Did I mention how beautiful she is? Oh yes. I did love her. As I continued to monitor her correspondence her mood seemed to be slipping. She wrote to StTriniansMiss:
"I just feel so unfulfilled. I think that is why I am here really, I mean on the site. But then I am not saying I want to leave my husband. But I feel like I have to experience something like this to really feel alive. I wonder if you can understand me?"
StTriniansMiss replied that she did understand, she wanted the same at one time but realised it was impossible. She had once paid a male escort to dress up and spank her - but it was not good. She knew it wasn't real though he had done his best to play the part. That is why she writes stories, as an outlet for desires which can never be fulfilled.
In everyday life I began to notice Sophie was looking depressed a lot of the time, or at least a bit down. I often tried talking to her but she always seemed miles away. She let me make love to her now and again. Though it was enjoyable it was one sided. In the meantime her correspondence with StTriniansMiss was becoming more despondent:
"I can see now that I am never going to be happy. Nothing's ever going to happen to me. It feels like it's all over with me. I'm just stuck on some silly conveyor belt"
So, I thought, that's what our marriage is to my wife. And I cried bitter tears, very bitter.
Oddly though I felt a very human pity for her "suffering". After all, I did love her and would literally have done anything within reason to make her happy. And I began to think, and think. I loved her so much - I was prepared in fact to sacrifice my feelings to prove this fact. To deliver to her the fulfilment she craved.
To Be Continued.
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