As the lead Verger at an Anglican-rite church, one of my duties was being the de facto head of the Worship Committee. A few years ago, towards the end of the summer, one of the Altar Guild ladies had informed me that they were experiencing “inventory shrinkage” in bottles of un-blessed wine. After discussing the matter with the Vestry, and due to the amount of wine going missing, it was decided that wine storage would be changed to the Acolyte Vesting room storage closet, as there were fewer people with keys; and, that a hidden video camera would be installed to monitor the storage room. That appeared to do trick, as no more wine came up missing that summer.
In fact, no one gave it another thought until at the end of the first month the following summer, when during regular supply inventory it was noted that wine was missing again. The head of the Altar Guild approached me, and we decided to wait another month, hoping that maybe it was a mistake but also hoping that if it wasn’t, we would have that much more surveillance video of the thief.
Well, at the end of the next month, more wine was missing. I contacted the off-site security company that stored the video and asked for the last two months. Now, sitting at my desk in the Verger’s office, I watched as, on several occasions, either one or two older Acolytes, still in their albs, got into the storage room and took a bottle or two of wine. Unfortunately, the video did not pick up any faces as the perpetrators were wise enough to have the hoods of the garments pulled up over their heads. But, the fact that they had hooded garments told me that they were at least Seniors (Seniors and above having special albs with hoods to signify their age and rank).
But, by comparing the dates and times on the video time stamp with the Acolyte schedule, it was easy to identify the possible culprits. In fact, one name was conspicuously present on each and every Sunday that wine was taken: Meredith, 19, one of our Graduate Acolytes. And that made perfect sense. Graduates were Acolytes who were away at college and who were typically only in town during the summer. They usually filled in for the Junior Acolytes in the primary grades who were out of town for summer vacations, and were provided a modest stipend as an incentive.
Unfortunately, the schedule could not reveal who the sometime accomplice was, and a close look at the video made me think that it was not always the same person. Nevertheless, I had Meredith cold. Now the only issue was how to deal with the situation.
Looking over her file, I noted that previous Vergers and Acolyte Masters had their hands full with her. She was one of those kids who, to the non-discerning adult eye, was well behaved and a model for other children to emulate. But, the records showed that she was, in fact, a sneaky little imp that was constantly getting into ever-escalating mischief. Unfortunately, a combination of her parents’ stature and position, both in the town and in the church, along with their “not my child” attitude, meant that Meredith never really suffered any consequences for her actions. Well, that was about to change.
I noted in the schedule that Meredith was due to serve the coming Sunday, as was Erica, who was 18 and a Senior, so I arranged for a direct feed of the video to be sent live to my computer. When Sunday came, I was at my desk watching as about a half hour before the last Mass was to begin, two hooded Acolytes crept into the storage room and removed a bottle of wine. Unfortunately, I could not confront them red-handed, as by the time I got down to the room, they were already out and on their way into the Sanctuary. Justice would be delayed, but only about an hour and a half.
As I was not Verging this particular service, I was able to sit in the pews. I made sure that I was front and center, in full view of the pair. I made every effort to maintain eye contact with them, a stern look on my face. Meredith was non-plussed, but I could tell that Erica was getting worried. As they lined up at the end of the mass to process out, I saw Erica exchange frantic whispers with Meredith; no doubt they were into some plan to avoid me. Rather than wait for the procession to pass, I left the Sanctuary before they had a chance to see me do so, and took station in the Acolyte Room.
The look on the faces as they rushed in was priceless. Meredith tried to act as if nothing was up, but Erica’s guilt got the best of her. Before I could even say a word, she broke down into tears, sobbing over and over, “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!”
“Shut up!” Meredith hissed.
“Why?” I asked. “Why should she shut up? Do you really think I don’t know about what you two have been doing the last two summers?”
“Wha..what?” cried Erica. “What do you mean the last two summers? This is the first time! I swear!”
Looking at Meredith, I said, “Listen, I’ve got video of at least one, and sometime two, Acolytes sneaking in and taking wine since summer began. Both are wearing hooded albs. Meredith, you show up on the schedule each time as the only Acolyte with a hooded alb each time. Do you deny it?”
She fidgeted for a minute, and I could tell she was calculating something in her mind. But, with a sly grin she finally said, “No, I do not.”
“And what about Erica?” I asked. “Is she telling the truth?”
Again, another mental calculation, followed by another grin and a “Yes.”
“Well, what do we do now? I’ll leave it to you. Do I call the police and your parents, or will you accept my punishment and penance here and now? I’ll give you a minute while I search your lockers for the wine.”
As the girls whispered in conference, I opened Erica’s locker first.