If I had any feelings for Marie I had them right now.
But I was only her window cleaner for God’s sake. So what brought all this about that I could feel so intimate with a woman twice my age, who had no particular sexual attraction for me - having always been drawn to women my age?
I shall tell you…
Marie lived in a country cottage in Dartmoor, South Devon and managed a smallholding generally on her own, because her husband had long passed but occasionally she had help with the milking. Apart from that and despite she was not the young and energetic woman she once was, she maintained she was quite capable of doing the job.
But why was I growing so concerned her welfare?, I was only her window cleaner as said.
Well it’s like this; Marie generously offered coffee and cake when I’d finished the windows, saying it was the least she could do because I took the trouble to drive over a couple of miles into the country to clean her windows, when before she could get no one to do the job.
We soon found that we alike in our hunger for conversation and she had lots of stories to tell having grown up on a farm and being an only child. Her husband had been a Godsend and she had loved him dearly and was shattered when he died early of the dreaded cancer.
They had two children, a boy and a girl who were tragically killed when a tractor reared backwards down a hill and crushed them both.
She said Henry had always blamed himself for not paying attention but it was determined at the inquest into the children’s deaths, that the new tractor had a brake disorder and there was nothing Henry could have done about that.
“Despite that he continued to blame himself” Marie lamented “and he never quite got over it, he was never the same man again, definitely not the man I married, he lost all zest for life and everything. I sorely missed the tender loving care he had once given me - and I still do, very much so.”
She paused straying to hold back her tears, I said not to, just let her emotions go and she would feel better. She rested her head on my shoulder but then apologised saying she should not burden me with her problems, that I was a young guy with all of life before me and, that it was time I found myself a girl and settled down.
And then she said she didn’t know why she was telling me all these things anyway because I was just her window cleaner.
Then I said it, heavens knows why but instinctively I replied that I would like to be much more than just her window cleaner.
She lifted her head from my shoulder and, looking flushed dried away her tears with her handkerchief.
Her smile - that smile was impelling and took me in from that moment in time. I knew then somehow I was falling for Marie big-time and I think she knew it.
We didn’t say much more that afternoon except she mentioned later that I should be on my way, I must have other windows to clean. But I told her that I was ahead of myself anyway and they could wait until the morrow.
She chuckled remarking that I was talking just like her mother used to in saying ‘the morrow’ instead of ‘tomorrow’ and it was to become a kind of joke.
“It is lovely having you next to me, it has been such a long time since I have warmed to a man” she whispered and I grasped her hand, squeezed it to give her that certain comfort. Low and behold she returned the gesture and all of a sudden I felt a certain bonding with her I could never have envisaged a month come Sunday’s.
We spent the rest of the afternoon just sitting there, nothing more - I felt that would come later when the time was right - and I think she thought so too. I felt in her touch a certain warmth and deep held passion that she had probably held back for so long and that was bursting to be free.
When eventually I left she said, looking quite sad -that it would be a long time before she was me again, because I only cleaned her windows monthly.
I sensed her thoughts; “Well at this time of the year come autumn, them thar windows do get very dirty you know so I reckon I ought to come more often.”
“But I can’t afford more than a month.”
“”Marie!” I replied looking straight into those wonderfully deep brown eyes; “just pay me with your kindness and your wonderful home made cake with coffee.”
He smile widened and I felt her charisma coming through.
“Then that be the case” she said, here yes gleaming and her cheeks flushing, I reckon they’ll need cleaning in a couple of days, I mean these farm places are not the cleanest of environments you know, with cows passing by every day for their milking, they kicks up a raucous dust they do and no mistake, so if you would be so kind Jim“
“Tell you what, I will make it tomorrow then, be that alright, Marie?”
Even the way she spoke was grabbing me so when I saw that responsive smile turn to a happy chuckle I just knew, come whether she was that much older then me or not, she was the woman for me.
When day changed to evening and evening to night I was still thinking of Marie. Laying on my pillow come bedtime it was like she was there beside me, sharing my warmth and love and much more.
Oh! How I longed for the love of a woman, much more than I had ever envisaged because of the way Jenny treated me five year back when she dumped me for another, and me absolutely besotted by her too, I vowed then never to bother again, that I was better on my own.
But now, pressing my head into the pillow I knew the real score, that I had been kidding myself for so long.
Marie had given me her mobile number. I just had a compulsion to phone and say goodnight. It was pure magic when she answered, her sleepy voice more sensual than ever. I simply knew I just had to be with her come hell or high water and I would be - tomorrow.
“Goodnight Darling” I said like she was my long term partner.
“See you tomorrow” she replied and I was soon in deep slumber.
I wont event try to explain my dream, save to say I hoped it would come true in the morning…
I treated myself to a good hearty breakfast rather than my usual cereal. I just somehow felt I needed that for the day ahead. But was I assuming too much of a mature and lovely woman? I thought it best just to let things flow with the natural course of things, that I mustn’t rush it. I had never been in this situation with an older woman before. And then there was me telling myself that age doesn’t come into it at all, it is the person that matters, no matter what age, how she looks, just the person she is and how you feel about that person and if you’d like it to be more than just a casual acquaintance or else.
The ‘or else’ was more appealing. I made myself believe that there is such a thing as love at first sight.
Before, when I met Jenny and a couple of girls in my adolescence , it was as if the hormones were going berserk and the need for sexual gratification came first and foremost, it took me time to understand that with a woman it is emotion as well.
With Marie it was quite different because I never even thought of sex, even when she cried on my shoulder and held my hand. And yet, as we talked I started to feel a certain something which later grew stronger. It was quite wonderful and I knew for the very first time I was getting the idea of realising what real loving is all about and that is precisely how I felt about Marie.
Marie was sp pleased to see me the following morning, I left my business van down the road so as not to create any scandal talk, thinking that Marie would be aright with that. I was wrong. She said that she would proudly tell anyone, including her neighbours about me.
“It is no big deal anyway Pete, let them think what they like it doesn’t matter to me, anyway perhaps I would like to see the look on their faces if they knew I was entertaining a hunk like you huh? But thanks for the thought anyway.”
Marie was some woman, how refreshing to know a woman with such a open attitude, all the time my feelings for her were growing.
She’d greeted me with open arms and I guess she’d take time to look her best, for a forty-eight year old she still had the figure of a woman half her age and no kidding ; already I was starting to look at her in a different way and she knew it. Why? I could see the glint in her eye when she swirled that gorgeous dress for my approval, me telling her it looked very nice and was most becoming, and that was the truth, she looked good and very sexy in black stockings which really complimented those great legs.
“Have you had breakfast” she queried and when I told her I had just had cereal and toast she retorted that was no good for a red blooded Englishman and there was a certain tone in her voice that sort of suggested she had in mind encounters of an intimate kind as she fixed me a full English with bacon, eggs, tomatoes and the lot - ahh! And the potato wedges which she must have known I enjoyed.
She just sat there opposite me at the kitchen table, seeming to enjoy watching me eat.
“I love to see a man eat and enjoy like you do, it sort of makes me feel good and warm and pleases the heartstrings.