‘You're nothing but a pious pile of shit, Mother,’ she thought, after a particularly drawn out tirade against the morals of the younger generation. She smiled broadly.
"What so funny?" her mother asked sharply.
"Oh, nothing, I just felt like smiling," Deana said.
"You young people, your heads are in the clouds. No concern for anything of value," her mother snapped.
Deana went through the weekend and the first two days of the work week feeling like she was in a prison. She felt restless, in the need for excitement, so when Elaine Emerson asked her to go to a party, she quickly agreed.
"Oh wait," she said, remembering her standing date with Barry for Wednesday nights. "I don't know if I can. I think I have a date."
"Don't worry about it, dear," Elaine said.
"But I want to go with you, Elaine. Can I let you know a little later?"
"If you like," Elaine said. She lit a cigarette, let the blue smoke slide from her nose, and walked away.
Deana had mixed emotions. She resented the way Elaine had acted, but she wanted to go to the party, anyway. Elaine was the ward snob and it was a compliment for her to ask you anything. She deeply admired Elaine for her perfection, even though she envied the woman's classic beauty and perfect figure and hated her haughty manner. She hated herself, too, for wanting to go. As always, when she had a problem, she went to her friend Ruth.
“Deana, I really don't think you should go anywhere with Elaine," Ruth said.
"Why not?" Deana said, suddenly determined to go.
"Well, I just don't think you should."
"That's no reason. You're probably jealous."
"Come off it, sweetie, I don't have to be jealous of anybody," Ruth snapped. "If you've already made up your mind, why did you ask me?"
"I'm sorry, Ruth, I didn't mean it. I just want to go, that's all. I can't go, anyway. It's Wednesday and I always go out with Barry then, not that we go anywhere." Somehow going to his apartment for a quick fuck didn't seem as exciting as it used to.
"Honey, if you want to go so damn bad, break the goddamn date with Barry and go," Ruth said, completely reversing herself. "You need the experience and besides, he's just a fucking wimp, anyway."
"Oh, Ruth, I can't. Don't talk about Barry that way. After all, we are almost engaged."
"Sure you can break it, honey. That little prick doesn't deserve you and besides, he's not man enough to satisfy you, or won't be once you learn the score."
"I know the score," Deana said.
"Sure you do, honey. Wear your uniform to the party. Men dig a uniform, it makes them horny."
"Oh, Ruth," Deana said, blushing.
"See how naive you are, baby girl? You've got to get away from your mommy and daddy. I have a gorgeous apartment with an extra bedroom all ready for you to move into."
Deana called Barry and told him she had to work an extra shift. It made her angry when he didn't sound as disappointed as she thought he should. She slammed down the phone, determined to have a ball at Elaine's party. It irked her; too, that Ruth was so possessive.
The party turned out to be a dull, socialite affair where the women were haughty bitches and the men stuffed shirts. Everyone was older than Deana.
They paid a lot of attention to Elaine, but completely ignored Deana. She didn't wear her uniform, but Deana wished she had. Her clothes appeared shabby and out of place. Compared to the exquisite Elaine, she felt like an ugly duckling, at least at first.
Deana spent much of the evening sitting alone, feeling miserable, while Elaine flitted from group to group, talking, laughing and drinking. It was after ten o'clock when Deana noticed how drunken Elaine was getting.
Elaine staggered over to Deana, leaned heavily on Deana's chair for support, and said, "Mmmmm I’m gettin' drunk, honey."
Deana almost laughed out loud. "You sure are, you haughty bitch," she said, then quickly added, "I m sorry, I didn't mean that."
"No, you're right. I am a haughty bitch and you had a terrible time tonight, and I did' too. I'm too drunk to drive and I want to go home. Will you drive me?"
"How will I get home?"
"You can stay with me.
"I can't do that. My mom would flip if I don't get home."
"Call her and tell her you're staying with me."
"Goddamn it, I said, I have to go home," Deana shouted as she got to her feet.
"Awwwwww, honey, don't get mad. You can take my car. My husband can bring me to work tomorrow."
Deana agreed and they left the party, Elaine leaning heavily on her companion, more so than Deana thought was necessary. In the car, Elaine sat close to Deana.
"It's a big seat, Elaine, slide over and give me some room," Deana said.
She looked at Elaine. "Your silver frosted hair is a mess, Elaine. You're a mess. You aren't so elegant now, you're drunk, and you're a sloppy drunk."
Elaine slid over and started blubbering. "Don't be mean, Deana. You're too beautiful to be mean."
"I feel mean, not beautiful," Deana snapped. "Now stay on your side and tell me how to get to your damn house."
Elaine gave her the directions and then sniffled all the way.
‘Geez,’ Deana thought, ‘what a phony cunt. Maybe this is why Ruth didn't want me to go with her. Oh well, live and learn.’
Elaine's home was big with a huge, beautifully landscaped yard. Deana pulled to a stop in the wide driveway and left the motor running.
"Come in and have a drink with me," Elaine said.
"No, you've had too much already and I have to get home," Deana answered curtly.
"I'm better now and it isn't late." She held her watch to the dash. "Not even eleven o'clock. My husband isn't home and I hate to go into a dark, empty house alone. Please, Deana, just one for the road."
Once again, Deana agreed. The house was magnificent and luxuriously furnished. It all but took Deana's breath away. They went into the den and Deana sat on the couch while Elaine made drinks. She was beside Deana on the couch quickly and held up her glass for a toast.
"To our friendship," Elaine said.
She had run her hand through her hair and every strand was in place. Her emerald green eyes flashed and Deana had the distinct feeling that she had been conned. Still, she held up her own glass for the toast.
They had several drinks and talked of many things, but Elaine kept steering the conversation to sex. Deana had never really discussed sex with another person and it made her uneasy.
"You're such a beautiful girl, Deana," Elaine said with no trace of her earlier drunkenness. "I hope you never have any trouble at the hospital."
"What on earth do you mean?" Deana gasped. "Well, I know how attractive you are to the men and you have to be very careful. Men can be so damn persistent! They'll wear you down if you aren't careful."
"A girl wants to be worn down . . . sometimes," Deana said, almost defiantly.
"Don't misunderstand, Deana, because I don't want to sound like your mother, but I do have one bit of advice to give you. Mess around with the docs, the interns, even the janitors if that turns you on. But don't fuck with patients because it'll get your ass fired."
Deana's face reddened and her mouth dropped open. My God, she thought, does she know?
"I didn't mean to shock you, honey, and I shouldn't have used that awful word, but, well, I wanted to get my point across because I know what I'm talking about."
Elaine got up quickly and went to the bar. She mixed two more drinks and returned to the couch beside Deana. "You may not need this, darling," she said, "but I do. I'm going to tell you something I've never told anyone else." Her voice lowered as if she was afraid someone else might hear. "I had an affair with a patient."
"No," Deana gasped, "not you!"
"Yes, me, and we were almost caught. When I tried to end it the patient threatened to expose me. I was never so frightened in my life. Nothing came of it, but it certainly taught me a lesson."
Elaine drained her glass and put it on the coffee table. She moved closer to Deana and her hand closed over Deana's knee.
"It was with a woman, Deana," she said in almost a whisper.
Deana felt the flush in her cheeks and Elaine's hand softly kneading her thigh just above her knee. My God, she thought, Elaine is a lesbian, and that's why Ruth didn't want me to go! She suspected . . . or knew from experience. Ruth's remark, "You need the experience," made sense to her now.
Elaine was sitting very close and her hand had moved under Deana's skirt.