Cold bit Arianna’s face as she squinted against the sun. Gloved hands shoved into the front pockets of her puffy coat, she looked for a form in the mountains. A dot on the snow skirts, something moving in the shadowy tree stems.
Ari exhaled, steaming the crushing silence.
For three days, she’d watched the horizon. The snowmobile she’d parked next to the cabin seemed to beckon louder every sunrise.
She balled her hands into fists in her pockets. If he doesn’t come today, I move on.
Everything had to end.
***
Ari twisted in the satin sheets for the thousandth time, hammering out Plan B. It'd be harder this time, without her cellphone, but doable. She’d leave the safe house tomorrow morning. Take the bus back from the city to the airport with her fake passport, get a ticket back to the States. Tell her husband she’d entered treatment for her addiction to pills and alcohol. Refuse to tell him which one. Instead, she’d tell him she wanted a divorce.
She focused on the fan twirling lazily above her in the sneaky haze of moonlight.
They would watch her. She’d have to go to AA and NA, where they’d have someone spying on her. Maybe the spy would try to seduce her. She might play along, the clueless ex-housewife who’d wanted to forgive herself for giving up on her dreams.
Dangerous, but not as dangerous as the original plan.
Click.
Ari's veins iced at the quiet sound from the other room. Steadying her breathing, she slid her hands under the pillow beside her. Adjusted her grip on the unforgiving form of the pistol and locked her elbows. Listened hard.
Another click.
The bedroom door opened. Moonlight bent around a shadowy silhouette in the door frame.
Holding her breath, she thumbed the safety down.
“It’s me.”
Hess. She didn’t move.
“Hakuna Matata.” Their code for everything being okay.
Ari let out an exhale that made her feel forty years older. Arms relaxing, she flicked the safety back on. “Jesus Christ, Hess.”
“I’m gonna turn on the light. Take your hands off the weapon.”
Releasing it under the pillow, she sat up. Lamplight splashed through the room. She squinted, batted her hair from her face.
Evan Hess’s shoulders took up the doorway. He wore a white jacket and white snowpants. Camouflage in the snow, she realized. His deep olive skin popped against it, face expressionless.
“I didn’t hear you arrive,” she said.
“I walked.”
She rubbed her forehead as she looked at him. Seven miles through snowy mountains?
Body freezing, her heart thudded. Anyone who knew where I was could’ve done the same thing. I’d never see them coming.
Thank God it was Hess.
“Are you ready?” he asked.
“Ready for what?”
“To deliver your sworn statement on camera.”
She swallowed, dropping her hands to her sides to prop her up. “Now?”
“These are still working hours in the United States, Mrs Draper. It’s taken too long already to get to this point and I need to get back with your statement and put together evidence to bring this to the Attorney General.”
“The Attorney…” Her gut jolted. “Carl Devoe?”
“Yes.”
“No.”
Squinting at her, he pursed his lips. “Mrs Draper—“
“It’s Ari.”
“The Attorney General is the man who will indict your husband and everyone else we find has committed conspiracy and treason against the United States. This is how it’s done.”
“Hess…” Her mouth went dry. Clearing her throat, she tugged her thin sleeves down and clutched them. Stared at the single white thread spooling from the seam and bit her lip. “Have you told him about the investigation? About me?”
“He’s aware that there is an investigation regarding possibly multiple Congressmen. I do not have to disclose you as a witness until we go to trial.”
Trial. Her head swam.
“You’re aware you’ll have to testify?”
“Devoe can’t do it.”
“Why.”
Fisting her sleeves, Ari met his coal black eyes. “He can’t prosecute himself.”
A muscle near Hess’s temple flexed. He stared at her as if she’d retract her statement.
She shut her mouth.
The fan’s hum seemed to crackle.
“Devoe is one of the most solid men I know.”
“My husband used to be for me, too.”
Sighing, Hess unzipped his jacket. Shrugged it off, revealing his black base layer underneath, and held it by the hood. His gaze was unrelenting. “I’ll be in the great room setting up the camera, Mrs Draper.”
***
“Mrs Draper, why haven’t you come forward about your husband before?”
Hess stood behind the tripod and camera stared down at her, motionless since the beginning of the interview over a half hour ago.
Sweating under her turtleneck, she wrapped her hand around the cold glass on the table and took the last sip. Cool water filled her mouth, cascaded down her throat as she swallowed.
Last question. I can do this. I can do this.
Ari looked into the blue-black lens pointed at her face. She put the cup down and clasped her fingers in her lap.
“In the beginning I was focused on my non-profit. I didn’t see Allen back slide until it was too late. With so many powerful people involved, I didn’t know who was safe to go to until I heard of Evan Hess, the man taking my statement today.
“I researched him thoroughly. Friends, family, and military history. Classified intelligence and not. He’s never had a complicated morality, even when it may have suited him to do so. It took time to build our trust, but I have no doubt he will do the right thing. Otherwise there’s no end to this for any of us.”
She felt for more words to defend herself, more to tell in case she never had another chance.
A chime rang from the video camera. Hess secured a chip from the camera and disappeared into a back room.
Exhaling, she stood. Walked to the other side of the sectional and grabbed a throw blanket. Pulling it around her arms and waist, she faced the wall of windows. Looked at her blurry reflection. The shadow pools of her eyes, the glint of inside light on the up-slope of her nose. She refocused on the beds of snow, silver in the moonlight, and the nothingness that reigned the night, the only thing that felt real.
A light beamed from the kitchen. In the window’s reflection, she saw Hess reach into the refrigerator.
He straightened. Shut the door and glanced up at her, his working hands obscured by the countertops. “It’s brave, what you did.”
“Right.” Ari focused on her own eyes again, the black abysses, and silence fell like a curtain between them. She opened her mouth. Took a breath. “We tell ourselves we’re moral people. That we know the difference between right and wrong and we fight for good. But in the end, what does it matter? Even with this, someone else is going to come into power. Who’s to say we won’t just experience the same things over again? Questionable people, replaced by questionable people. Greed and darkness have more power than we want to pretend. What does it matter, then, taking down people we know are immoral and replacing them with people who probably are?”
“The line. That’s what matters. Just as everyone has the capability of murder but we don’t allow murderers in society. Everyone gets a choice.”
Ari closed her eyes. “How very cop-like of you.”
He emitted something between a chuckle and a scoff. Ari found herself smiling. Lighter. She opened her eyes.
Hess appeared over her shoulder, handing her a beer bottle.
“Thanks.” She wrapped her hand around it.
“You’ve been inside this for so long now, maybe you don’t know how to be without it. But don’t question yourself. You did it because you’re not only a good person, you’re brave. To the point of being dangerous to yourself.”
“Yeah.” Ari wiped her finger down the cold pools of condensation on the bottle. Thought of the storage unit in Maine. “Something like that.”
She took a sip. Let the bubbles pop in her mouth, then give a hollow slosh as she put the bottle back down. Eyes burning, she stared at herself. Tried to find something alive in her ghostly face. Some semblance of the woman she used to be.
“What are you thinking?”
“I don’t know how to live anymore.” Her voice wavered. She sighed, tried to be okay with being vulnerable. Being herself. Whoever that was.
“The darkness won’t tell you.” She heard a hollow tinkle of liquid behind her and looked up in the reflection to find him looking back. “The more you search for yourself in the past, the further the future moves from your grasp.”
“Poetic.”
“It’s a gift.” He smiled. Leaned on the wall and looked out into the night.
She turned around. For the first time, she noticed how handsome he was. Flat nose, a bit too wide for his face and squared jaw. Black eyes, just big enough to keep the offset of his face. He was every man, and no man.
Like her.
“What do you recommend?” she asked.
“Always move forward. When something interests you, move toward it. You don’t have to pretend anymore.” He watched her a moment, as if trying to ingrain his words in her head. Then he clenched his jaw. Looked down at his beer. “My older brother was Devoe’s mentor when he was a baby lawyer. He came over for Thanksgivings and Christmases when my parents were still alive. We played football in the backyard. He’s been distant for a long time. I didn’t want to believe you.”
“I’m sorry.”
He looked up. Shook his head a fraction. “Everyone has a choice. Thank you, for choosing your country first. And for trusting me.”
Warmth seeped through her belly. It traversed the network of her bones and vessels, settling between her thighs.
Ari stood, keeping his gaze. She walked forward, took his beer. Crouched and put their bottles on the coffee table with a thunk. She straightened, arms to her sides. Curled her toes into the soft rug beneath them and felt naked. The way Hess’s eyes bore into hers, it was like he saw her for everything she was and everything she might be.
His lips parted and the butterflies in her stomach exploded.
“You don’t have to say yes,” she murmured. “You don’t have to say anything. I just… I’m interested.”
