I was sick.
A very simple truth that I denied to accept during last few years but instinctively knew. Not some kind of "take-your-pills-and-it's-ok" or "surgery-and-survive" sickness. Something more sinister, more diffused through my body.
Maybe even my through soul.
One more time I read the e-mail that I was going to send to my boss. I really wanted to talk to him in the face, but it was not possible since he was in Italy and it would take at least one more week till he returned, and I didn't want to wait that much.
I wasn't sure if I had that much time.
While checking what I have written, I was trying to make sure I wasn't accusing him or my job between the lines for my sickness. The long years, all my youth I spent during office hours, tense businness meetings, diplomatic fights, dangers, worries... As if there was no tomorrow I had buried myself to my work, and now... there was no tomorrow.
Maybe it was true, maybe the real reason was my job, and the heavy load it had on my mind and body. But I didn't want to leave behind a sorry boss. He was a good man. As good as a boss can get. Besides, I had insisted on the job, and I always had the chance to go away but chose to stay. No reason to find a scapegoat for my own mistakes.
At least, this "job oriented" lifestyle had given me a great big loneliness. While it chewed out everything I had when I was young, at least there was no family to leave behind who would feel bad for loosing me. And I doubted my occational dates were going to notice I was gone.
It was then I realized I was 29. Was 29 supposed to be old?
Without more thoughts I pressed the send button, and I noticed that I had actually asked my boss if 29 was supposed to be old. One final sentence under "Best Regards; Arc." Doctor had told me I could become absent minded, but I didn’t expect this to start that early.
Right after leaving the office, I began driving to the village I was born as I wanted to arrive there early in the morning. My grandmother, grandfather, and my mother were all buried there, where they were also born. It was almost a family tradition that pregnant women returned to our small village to give birth to their children, and they were buried there when they died, to our family burial grounds. Only my father was absent from this picture, as he was buried in his own homeland. I wanted to return there because I wanted to save people from carrying my corpse all the seven hundred kilometers to "Crossville" in the middle of this hot summer.
When I graduated from university eight years ago, our office building was a single-flat cute building. It had changed many times during the flow of years and it finaly became an eight story luxury office building. The village however, had not changed one small bit since I was born. The same roads laid between the same green hills and the same stud welcomed me as I drove by. Horses were free on their courts, grouped together here and there in fours or fives. They all looked healthy and noble, their manes shiny under the morning sun. One of the young ones noticed me as I slowed down and finally stopped my car to look at them. She ran close to the fence to stare back at me. Lowering my window, I said "Hi."
She was looking at me with clever, bright eyes. It was a beautiful animal, and I remembered how much I wanted to ride a horse when I was younger...
"Hi" she said! I was surprised for a second but remembered what the doctor had told me. The apple-sized thing in my brain could lead to hallucinations and imaginary sounds. With what was left of my sanity, I decided to make use of this chance to talk with a horse.
"You are very beautiful" I said back. "Your hair, smooth and shiny. You have wonderful legs, and a nice back. I really would have liked to ride you..."
"What!" she screamed. Then I noticed her voice was coming from the other side. Turning my head to see, I came face to face with a young woman. She had short, dark hair and was looking at me angrily as she stood on the other side of my car.
"Oh! sorry... I just thought... I..." Suddenly I noticed it was impossible to explain what has happened in a meaningfull way, so I just went straight through it.
"I thought I was talking with the horse."
She just stared at me without saying anything, and it was impossible for me to make out what she was thinking. When I tried to read her by looking into her eyes, all I could do was to adore her beautiul face. Her short hair was showing her fragile but noble neck, and her lips were so full and moist. And her eyes, though carrying a little bit of anger thanks to her knit eyebrows, was dark and had hints of sorrow buried somewhere.
She was about 1.70, and was wearing a jockey's outfit. White pants, dark green shirt, a brown jacket and the white gloves.
I noticed that she was not going to talk and I decided to free her from my trouble.
But when I decided to drive forth, she spoke.
"Just a second."
"This is Delilah you were speaking" she was pointing the white horse which was still standing there looking at me. "She has a tendancy to race with the cars moving in this road, but she is limping since this morning. I noticed that and came here to see what was wrong with her so that I could take her to barn. But you are early. Now I don't want her to race with you if she has a serious trouble, but I also don't want to make you wait till I check her too. Would you be kind enough to drive slowly until the end of this road? I will check her when you are gone ok?"
I looked at the animal; she looked healthy. But even though I had graduated as a veterinary, I never practiced it so I felt that I could be wrong.
"Ok... but I can wait until your check is over. And my car would be blocking the way so no other vehicle passes by and distracts her as you do your inspection."
"Well, thank you." she said and walked around my car to the fence. Delilah moved to her with anticipation. I watched her as she passed between the beams of the fence and cuddled the horse, speaking soft and tender words. I noticed how professionally she moved her hand around the animals body as she petted it, slowly moving towards her legs. I tried to remember the pattern of inspection, but my mind was distracted by the beauty of this girl’s outlines. She was... beautiful. So natural, so graceful as she walked around; unlike any "businesswomen" I have met. She was really feeling for the animal, and when I compared that to the fake smiles and fake frankness of women I knew from job, I felt happy.
I got off my car and shouted.
"Just try to make her walk slowly a little bit"
"Really? You know about horses?" she was smiling with a roguish smile. I heard the hints of scorning in her voice but understood that. She probably thought I was impatient. In fact, I was quite the opposite.
"Yes. I am a veterinary."
She stopped at that and threw a look at me.
"You are not from this village are you?" she asked.
"I am. But you are not."
"Really…" she spoke thoughtfully. "Then how didn't I see you ever once?"
"I... haven't been here for a long time."
"It must be at least eight years then." she said.
I thought on that. Last time I was here was for a marriage... Some distant relative was getting married in our traditional way.
"Eleven years ago, when I was young."
She threw another quick look at me
"So you are old now?"
I didn't want to talk on that.
"Just make her walk a little and watch her head." I said. "If there is a problem in the head you understand it by the legs, and if there is a problem in the legs you understand it by the head."
"Come on, lilah..." she said, walking away a little bit, her hand reaching back as if she was going to give something to the horse. The obedient animal followed her and I watched her head. Delilah rythmically raised and lowered her head noticably at some point, and I noticed she did this as she was trying to raise her front left leg.
"Front left leg, higher flexor muscles" I said. And focusing at there I could see a small bulge.
"It looks like a bee sting." I said.
She stopped the horse and found it.
"Well... you are right about this." She looked at me, smiling. "So you came here to stay?"
I thought on that for a while.
"Yes... and no."
"Oooo!" she said. "Mystery huh?"
It was enough evidence for me to think that she was a veterinary too and she was a little bit worried of my stay, because I would be a competition. I wanted to ease her down. I didn't want anyone to have any single moment of troubled mind because of me.
"No. I will be around for a week I guess. Maybe a little bit more, I am not sure."
Maybe I couldn't hide what I was feeling at that time well, because she seemed even more worried to hear that. I decided to leave her with Delilah.
"It was nice to meet you" I said, offering my hand for a shake. She quickly removed her glove and we shook hands.
"I'm Billie" she said.
"They call me Archy,"
"Archibald or something?" she smiled.
"Close." I said.
Then Ieft her standing there as I drove off, but by my mirror I noticed she was looking behind me as I did.
A few days I spent time with my relatives, who were surprised to see me. I have talked with the elderly ones about my sickness and my countable days left. Some women clearly stated their disappointment that I had disappeared from the family after my mothers death, but when they learnt about my sickness they quickly forgave me. I got bored of the pity in their eyes in no time, to a point of anger sometimes. But I had this obsessive purpose of "not breaking anyones heart" so I hid my thoughts to myself. Instead I began long trips around the land to stay away from their gazes.
It was both a pleasure, and a source of regret all the time I walked around. The life itself was so different here, with people you could talk to without fear of being lied to, with plants you actually could touch, with flowers that really had a smell, with a silence full of natural sounds if you knew how to listen them. Everything here was too "real" compared to my office life. The tree was very strong and solid, compared to my office desk. The grass under my feet felt much more tender than my expensive carpet at home. The slight breeze that blew my hair was much more refreshing than my office air conditioner.
Moving to every interesting spot I could see, whether a tree or a small pond or a rock with a distinctive shape, I felt as if I was like a caged animal who was set free again in his last days. I also felt like I was the last member of my species. Maybe because I didn't have a child. With my death, my part in universe was going to end completely. Yet I still didn't feel bad about this, and I didn't know the reason for that.
There was no tomorrow, after all, and I didn't want to spend my last days swimming in useless regrets.
And it happened.
I was walking around again, but I was late this time and sun was going down; almost touching to the tip of the mountains in the horizon. The sight was really wonderful; the long and open plateu with small groves here and there, the green yards raising and falling like ocean waves as the wind blew over them. Yet I was far away from my relative’s house, which was going to take a few hours walking back. It was surely going to get dark, and it was hard to find your way when that happens around the village as there were no lights. Besides, it was very easy to get lost due to lack of streets and landmarks as I knew.
So as I hurried back, I came across Billie again. She was on Delilah, and she smiled when she saw me. I took that as a good sign.
"Well well," she said "mysterious man, are you lost?"
"Not yet" I said.
She moved Delilah near me and tapped on the back, inviting me to her saddle as she moved a little bit forth.
I didn't tell her that I have never got on the saddle before, but taking care of each move I made, I succeeded pulling myself up behind her. The pyhsical contact with her body quickly showed it's effect on my "not-yet-so-dead" metabolism. I was suddenly overwhelmed by her smell. Not because she smelled like roses or anyhting, in fact I could scent her sweat. But there was also this tone of smell which could be described as "babies smell" or "a mother's chest". The way we sat was so pyshically intimate that I was ashamed to the point of being turned off at first. I could feel her legs on my thigh and I could feel her perfect ass on my groin. When I held her from behind off her waist, and when Delilah began to walk, the way we moved quickly set up a rythm of moving back and forth that terribly resembled something else.
And with my imagination kicking in, I was having hard time preventing my “growing attention” anymore. The constant friction with her soft bottom did not help either. I was so sure that she felt it in her back all as we were basically completely pressed together. And even though I felt this was terribly wrong, I couldn't stop myself from enjoying the feeling.
"Well, it seems you will not ask where I want to go." I could say.
"It's too late to return, isn't it?" She said. I could hear the tension in her voice, she was clearly aware of my sexual arousal and she was not enjoying this as much as I did. Yet she was trying to be helpfull. "So I am inviting you to stay at my cottage tonight."
All my thoughts, all the flow of logical information in my mind was destroyed. I never was good at taking the girls out, and I clearly was not Brad Pitt or some kind of body-building champion. Quite the opposite, a thoughtfull thin man with a little hunch. So what was going on now?
But I couldn't even think on that. Everything there; the sunset, the sound of the river we were trailing along, the birds singing their evening songs, the smell of the lady in my lap, the feeling of the animal between my legs... All those were always there maybe, but I felt like I could hear them saying something for the first time. I couldn’t understand the meaning, but I was definitely sure that it was the most soothing, most peaceful thing I ever experienced.
And I was going to miss all of that. What a useless life I had lived... A wasted opportunity to meet, learn and enjoy the real world, which was the earth itself.
I had no tomorrow in this earth.
I hadn't noticed that we had stopped. I hadn't noticed that I was crying either. I was not making any sound, but my tears were following eachother and falling to Billie’s beautiful, naked neck. I suddenly realized my situation and tried to gather myself. I rubbed the tears off my eyes quickly. Damn. I was crying like a girl. So much for manhood and Y chromozome. Then I tried to find out why I was crying, or at which point I began to do so but I couldn't. I wondered if she had noticed. Maybe she thought the tears were my sweat?
"It's ok" she said calmly. "I know about your sickness."
Now, this was a surprise. She tried to look back as much as she could to look at me, leaning a little bit front as she did.
"This is a small village and people talk." she said.
"Well... I didn't cry out of fear or worries... It's just that... this is a very beautiful place, and everything is so real... I just noticed that I have wasted my entire life. I haven't touched the soil, I haven't... Well, basically I haven't done any thing that had to be done. Instead I followed stuporous deeds."
"We all fight for our place in this world." she said, and I could hear something else hiding behind her words but I couldn't make it out. "It was not going to be a lot different if you were here. It quickly gets repetitive... admittedly, it's much better than a city life, but you are just idealizing this at the moment."
I thought that she might be right and told her so. She aproved and spoke.
"I stopped here to let you recover yourself. I don't want Donna to see you like that."
I was too distracted to read between the lines. But I had recovered already.
"I'm fine now, thanks" I said.
And a few minutes later we arrived at the possibly the prettiest cottage in the whole world. It was almost buried under a large mass of wines which had white flowers blossomed all over, but their tendrils were placed so well all around the house that they looked like a crown on it. A smiling, beautiful women greeted us as we approached, placing the flower pot in her hand to the window ledge.
"Welcome home" she said and I quickly liked her. She was blonde, a little bit tall but had a white skin, very hard to come by in a village. She had a very strong face, something similar to the mythological figures. Her smile was caring and intense, and in fact helped me to recover myself as we got off Delilah.
"Must be Donna," I said, shaking her hand.
"And you must be the mysterious Archibald."
I just nodded.
"Billie has told much about you since four days." she said. I noticed this sentence had another tone, another meaning but my mind was too paralyzed to understand what it was.
I looked at Billie to have a clue, but she seemed tense at best. Without saying a word she walked into the cottage, and I noticed Donna was getting on Delilah as I followed Billie.
"You leaving?" I asked.
"Yes." she said. "You two will need to be alone this night."
At that point, I melted down and froze at the same time. But the formation in my mind couldn't complete itself as Billie was calling for me. I looked behind Donna and Delilah as they disappeared behind the strawberries.
I moved in to see Billie putting wine on some glasses on a nicely decorated meal table. It was so beautifully organized that I couldn't look take my eyes off and have a look at the decoration inside the cottage. And the smell of food reminded me how hungry I was.
"Come, have a seat." Billie said. She seemed a little bit relaxed.
"Thanks." I said as sat and took a sip from the wine. I looked at her and noticed her mind was busy with something, probably trying to figure out how to begin.
"So you two live together" I said, and thus we began a long conversation of eachother. Every sentence she spoke gave the hints of a deep, kind soul; but also was a piece of a sorrowful story. I knew something was blocking the path of a river of words, and I hoped the questions I ask were going to help destroy this blockade.
And it did. When she told what I sought, I was not surprised. I just felt sorry.
She was a lesbian.
And it was a hard life. She had met Donna and fell in love with her, and it was the first time she was welcomed with love. However, their families and friends did not like that a bit, and bad times began. But each hard decision, each sad reaction from someone, each personal insult brought them closer, and their love became even stronger.
After graduating from school, Billie decided to move to a silent place, away from all the disturbing behaviour that they saw in every corner in the city. Donna aproved this decision, and further encouraged her by saying Billie had a wonderful head over her shoulders, and she was ready to go to hell with her if needed.
Thus, they ended up here in my village. They were working very hard; Billie as a vet and Donna as an accountant in the government studd. Following years brought an economical crisis, and the government decided to shut down the place; but Donna was able to get in touch with some places and persuaded them to sell the place to Billie instead. So with whatever money they had in their hands, they purchased the studd. Most of the horses were sold, however they were able to keep a few important broods.
But people here also were suspecting of things now, after eight years. These two ladies came in and helped them alot with their animals, however they did not respond to any of young men that tried to aproach them. Some people began to talk about how they saw the ladies hand to hand in an intimate way and such a thing was much more dangerous in a village society. So they were being very carefull to not give any more clues to anyone.
After explaining these she fell silent, drinking more and more wine instead of speaking. She was drinking it fast. I decided to return the favor by telling about my own life, but my story took significantly shorter because it was full of "nothing". After some point I fell silent too. We ate what we could find on the table, we drank alot, and time flew by.
Thinking to myself, I noticed that I liked her much, but I didn't know what to do about that. At best, she could have been a really good friend… if I had time. She was very intellectual, very beautiful, and charming even when she spoke of sad things.
Perhaps she decided that she had drank enough, so suddenly she stood up and spoke what she wanted to, since the beginning of the night.
"Do you have any idea why I brought you here?"
I was thinking on that for a while but didn't want to ruin the nice evening with that, and I apreciated she opened this up for us.
"I have some ideas, but I can't complete the picture. And besides… it was just a coincidence that you found me, right?"
“Not quite… I was following you. I followed you yesterday too.”
“But why?” I really didn’t understood what was going on.
"You see we... We have to find a way to stop all the gossip those people have here..."
She stopped to look at me, as she caressed her belly, hoping that I could figure out what she was trying to tell. And I did. The pieces came together with a loud warning siren in my mind and I jumped off my chair.
"You want to have a baby from me!"
“Yes…” She was lurching towards me with hazy eyes, drunk to her limits. She raised her arms to hug me, and for a second I stood there unable to decide what to do. In fact, I couldn’t even try thinking what to do.
This was crazy! Madness! A lesbian was asking me to have at her to have a child? And what would that mean? Was this a bad thing? And this meant that when I died…
But I couldn’t think more, as she was cuddling me and her lips were on mine. I stood frozen, unable to answer her kiss, as her tongue tenderly caressed my mouth. She was hugging me and was standing very close, our bodies touching eachother, her softness calling for me. Her smell and beauty and the liquor in my blood was screaming me to grab her and throw her to the bed.
I could stop myself from doing that, but I couldn’t resist answering her kiss. I thought a little bit more on that… I was the best candidate possible; someone form this village, who was going to tell his friends how he made love with her. And someone who will kindly move out of the way when his time is up, so Donna and Billie could grow the child.
Thinking on those I noticed she was pushing me to the sofa. And my head was clouded, my judgement shattered by thousands of things to consider; every thought trying to impose itself to me at the same time so I had no chance of deciding to do or not to do anything. So I left it at the flow of things.
I remember taking her clothes off one by one. Each piece of cloth I removed left me adoring her beauty. Every curve on her young, flawless body seemed to be designed to seduce me. Every part of her complimented the next one, bringing their beauty to insurmountable levels. Lips over that chin, eyes below that hair, neck above these shoulders. At one point, she was lying on my arm as I caressed and kissed her flat, beautiful stomach showing her ribs a little bit. I grabbed and squeezed her breasts, soft and strong at the same under my grasp and the tits piercing through my palm. And the smell took every drop of concsiousness from me. Next thing I know I was between her legs, licking her bulging labia. She was moaning but they didn’t sound like the pleasure sounds. Her eyes closed, she was changing the direction she facing every few seconds as she laid on her back, over my arm. I moved a little bit and arranged us, bringing her legs over my shoulders, and removing my underwear. My organ was anxiously waiting for the moment of bliss, as indicated by a shiny droplet in it’s head. Staring at her between her legs, I decided this whole thing was very unfair.
She was the purest, most beautiful and sexiest thing I ever saw. But since I thought all these were impossible together, I decided I was falling in love with her. Then decided I was under great stress of my incoming death, under the effects of alcohol and a long period without sex. But my thoughts at that time weren’t strong enough to command my body, and the tip of my tool touched her fleshy rosebud.
Her eyes still closed, and almost at the edge of passing out of toxication, I could see her beautiful face being shadowed by a worried expression. She really was not enjoying this until now, and she was not going enjoy the rest either.
I leaned forward and kissed her and decided to give up, dropping her long, slender legs back to the sofa. But just as I leaned to grab my clothes, she caught my arm and pulled me back to her.
“Please” she said with half-open eyes. “Please… we must… I must…”
“I can’t do this, Billie. This is not different from a rape. You shouldn’t need to…”
But she was not hearing me. She raised one of her legs above me and brought me between her legs again, pulling me to herself.
And our position was so suited for a penetration that I couldn’t find the same strength of will again. I was standing next to the sofa and she laid there holding me between her legs, her hand on my neck. Her stretched body, her perfect breasts shaking with each move, her noble neck as she threw her head back lured me into her. I slowly fell on my knees as I pushed my tool inside.
It was not easy, because she was not wet and her hole was very tight. I felt the skin of my erect tool being stretched back as I drove it forward by her dry walls. Her sex was not ready to accept me and I could see the pain in her tightly shut eyes. Yet she was desperately pulling my body inside her with her shaky legs. I was finally completely in, surrounded by the heavenly feeling of an untouched, tight vagina. She let out a scream of pain, a single drop of tear trailing off her eye.
That was the end for me.
“Enough!” I shouted, and pulled myself out of her grasp. I could understand her need for a child to preserve her love but this was beyond my understanding of humanity. And the tear was the last thing that killed it off.
She was crying as I grabbed my clothes and darted off the cottage.
Not knowing where to go I headed straight towards the largest shadow in the meadow I could see under the moonlight, and was trying to put on my clothes as I walked. The shadow turned out to be a large oak tree. Cold by the breeze, I decided to lay down under it. The cold soil and the hard trunk quickly became a welcoming shelter, and with a disturbed mind I failed to sleep. It was more like a coma that carried me to the morning.
I came to myself to see Donna aproaching with some pottery in her hand, and a blanket under her arm.
“Good morning, Mr Mytsery.” She said and dropped the blanket.
“Will you help me lay that thing so the ants leave our food alone for a while?”
Trying to flex my rigid joints I stood up, and helped her as she created a breakfast table with whatever she brought. Then she sat and gestured me to join her.
Silently I ate some cheese and bread, along with some nice buttermilk. She watched me as I did, and I could notice she had a softer gaze to me than the last time.
“Thank you” she said. I couldn’t find a word to say, but thankfully a strong breeze swayed the branches of the tree with a loud wail. It was almost like an answer given for me.
“She told me what happened. Most men would have tried to make use of her situation.”
“I wouldn’t. And I didn’t. It’s…” I noticed that I was having hard time finding the words I need, but I hoped that was because I was still sleepy. “It’s not right, and not neccessary. I will go and tell every friend I have here that I made love with her. So it will be ok. We can walk across the village square hand to hand, I can make her meet my family, and it will be allright for you ladies.”
“But that’s not all about it.” She said. “How do you believe she is ever going to have a baby?”
“I… I mean why… I mean does she want to have a baby?”
“Donna… look you weren’t there, ok? You didn’t see her face. This thing… just doesn’t work like that for me. I think… She is different, and deserves to be treated different. I treated some ladies who can’t even be half the person she is as queens, and now you want me to hurt her. I just can’t do it, Donna. I am sorry. Really, if you really need a baby, there are alternative methods, sperm banks and artificial…”
“Artificial!” she said. “Besides, this doesn’t help us with the other hand of the stick, right?
I shook my head, as if I hoped that bad feelings and thoughts were going to fall of my ears.
“How is she?” I asked, to change the subject.
“Very fine, and a little bit surprised. She believes you didn’t find her beautiful enough.”
“What? This is nonsense! She is the prettiest cute little thing I have ever seen!”
Donna stared at me, clearly trying to say something.
“I think I understand.” She spoke. “I feel your motivation. You are in love with her.”
First thing I wanted to do was to deny that, however I couldn’t.
“If I had enough time, yes… I believe I would have loved her.”
“Well,” she said “I don’t know what to feel about this, I feel a little bit jealous but… You sound like a nice guy. You must understand that I care for her a lot. She is very precious, and this world doesn’t deserve someone like her. I normally dislike men, but you sound different. Maybe that’s an enlightenment because of your… sickness.”
“Look, Donna… Thanks for the breakfast, and thanks for the… compliments… and I promise I will do my best to help, but… I am a man, after all. I feel for your love, and you are the nicest couple I have ever seen, and I really wish a long, healthy and happy future for you but… I can’t hurt her. Even if this is going to help you, I can’t. Us men are… flawed I guess, and even more emotional than women at some things. At least I am.”
With that I tried to get up and move off, but she stopped me.
“What if…” she was looking at me with that brightness of a new idea in her eyes “you could do it without hurting her, and she enjoyed it too?”
I wanted to scream to her that I dreamt of such things since the last night, till the morning. Going to all the ends of sex with Billie, several times in my head, untill I lost my concsiousness in the morning… but I couldn’t.
“Last night” I said “I had to use every small piece of my willpower to get off her. I don’t think I can stop myself once again, so please don’t advice me to try again. No amount of alcohol will make her relaxed and enjoy the thing.
She answered with a smile, and told me to stay there until she returned. Then she stood up and hurried back to the cottage.
There I lied back down, and the strangest of things happened. My vision got blackened and I was worried at first, thinking my time was up. And I felt dizzy, even though I was laying on my back. The world felt like it was swinging or rotating madly and I was really scared. Instinctively I opened my arms and reached my sides, my fingers burying into the soil as I tried to stabilize myself. But then, I felt a warm feeling spreading on my back and my disoriention ended. The feeling on was getting larger and larger, but it was then I noticed it was not spreading over my body.
It was spreading through the land! From where I lay, I could feel the wind on the grass around me, the roots of the tree reaching deep down into the crust of earth, the tiny feet of a small squirrel hurrying as it ran to the small brushes behind the tree... all of these and more I could feel as if they I was touching them, or they were touching my back. I opened my eyes and noticed I was smiling large, and saw the clouds movement overhead. They were crawling on my skin! Like soothing cold pieces of cotton, they were rolling over my body and almost tickling me. Every plant around me was enjoying the sunlight and that was the reason of the warm feeling; for the first time I was absorbing the daylight as a kind of nourishment, and it was extremely satisfying!
Then I noticed humanly feet walking over my back. Two pairs of boots were stepping on me. They felt different then the rest of the feelings but they didn’t worry me either. I understood the ladies were coming back, and I rose my head with a large smile.
“You look better now,” said Donna. “I was worried for you because you were whiter than usual.” She smiled at me.
“Yes.” I said. “I feel great now.”
I was going to explain the feeling but I noticed Billie was looking down as if ashamed. She was feeling ashamed? I should have been the one feeling that!
“Billie” I said. “Please forgive me for the last night.”
“No!” she interrupted my “YOU forgive me. It was foolish to force you into this. I thought you were going to be more willing.”
I wanted to tell her many things at that moment, mainly about how I really desired her, not only her sex but all of her, all the nice small details that made her special. But the words in my mind were fading away, their meaning disappearing because of the feeling on my back. The words felt so unnecessary when the earth was telling me everything with such a complete union. It was me, and I was it; I was the wind, the oak tree, the colony of ants trying to find food, the squirrel trying to dig a hole.
Donna sat near me and patted the blanket, inviting Billie next to her.
“I have an idea” she said. “Billie felt bad because she didn’t have good experiences with men before. But I believe she will feel better if I am… helping…”
“What!” Billie said, and I wanted to do the same but I couldn’t. Because I was too busy absorbing the feeling of the ladies through the carpet. Their presence was much more complicated than other things I could feel, but they were also much more similar to my own being. In a sudden burst of joy I noticed that I was seeing through them; beyond their physical and emotional walls! We were already as one! The ritual of it was merely a pyhsical key. I wanted to share this with the ladies, but all I could do was to smile larger.
Donna was encouraged by my smile, as she believed that I liked the idea.
“Billie?” she asked. Billie was looking down but I could feel she was rapidly getting to like the idea, she was also feeling a little bit of shame as blood rushed to her cheeks.
“Sounds… kinky.” She said with a smile.
Then Donna reached down and kissed her. I could feel a strong pulse of life radiating from their entwined bodies; as if the kiss activated the dormant life inside them. As Donna grabbed Billie’s hair and caressed and kissed her neck, Billie began to squirm with pleasure, which I could also feel through the ground. It was beautiful, and so pure that I lost myself inside it for a while.
Donna was now kissing Billie’s throat and was slowly trailing down to her breasts, and one of her hands was squeezing her buttock, getting higher and higher along her leg. The sight was godly for me, Donna’s beautiful face and gorgeous, lustfull lips trailing along her lovers perfecti smooth skin. Billie was moaning slowly but those moans were quite different than the ones I heard last night. I could feel the two ladies were slowly drifting off the reality, and creating a temporary presence which included themselves, and a little bit of me. Donna swept aside Billie’s shirt with one quick move which was a little bit harsh so caused Billie’s small, firm breasts to flutter. The nipples were erect over her white skin, like two red flowers blossomed on two white round hills, and another strong pulse hit me as Donna began to suck one of them. The sight of a portion of the best breasts I have ever seen disapperaing into the prettiest face I have seen was worth an entire life already.
They were slowly undressing eachother and I was also on the peak of my manhood. I was both seeing them with my eyes and feeling their pleasure through the ground. I wanted to explain this, and share the joy of uniting with them, but noticed they weren’t feeling the same as me. They were too busy kissing eachother, squeezing eachothers breasts, and Donna’s hand was between Billie’s legs diving under her pants. I could see her fingers circling around probably an erect clitoris, and her motions getting faster. Billie threw her head back, her mouth open in joy, her eyes gleamy with the height of her ecstasy. Donna was attacking her senses from many places at once; one of her hands was around Billie’s throat holding her head in the ground, the other hand was torturing the clitoris and the labia around it, and her mouth was hungrily sucking one of her tits. Billie’s head turned towards me, her eyes unable to focus too well but I could see her joy and relaxation; she was not tense of my presence.
Then, Donna swung herself towards me while pulling Billie by her arm and they rolled around. Now Billie was on top, and Donna was pulling her head to her lips, hugrily sucking the tongue that Billie offered. This was also bringing Billie on her fours, and I sensed from the ground that Donna had done this for me.
Without further thinking, I moved behind Billie. The feeling of union with everything around me was still with me, in fact it was getting heavier and my sight was getting a little bit darker. However, sight was a very weak sense for me now, as I could “know” the presence and position of everything around me. One part of me, probably the last pieces of logical centers in my being, was telling me something else was happening to me which was very enjoyable and probably dangerous. However, it was impossible for me to care on that, especially when I was feeling the union. And the ladies joy, of course. It was not something of pure animality; it also included an unexplainable element. Unexplainable, but it turned everything it touched into a heavenly feeling.
So I was there, behind Billie, and she was looking great. I could notice Donna’s hand still reaching to her pussy down below, and I could also feel the tension from her. She was a little bit anxious that my enterance was going to hurt Billie.
I didn’t want to do this all of a sudden, so I grabbed Billie’s perfect of a waist with both my hands. I waited for a few seconds until she could realise that I was behind her and was about to enter my fully erect organ into her. She was so taken off with the pleasure that Donna give, though, her worries were drowning under joy.
So I leaned my tip into her, and I noticed how much juice Donna’s foreplay summoned from her. It was so wet that I became sure this time it was going to be very easy.
I was wrong however, because her organ was so ripe, so untouched that her muscles were still very reactive. As I slowly crept inside her, her vagine responded by tightening itself. This was the time the juices made their job. The overall result was unmeasurable amount of bliss for me, a very tight female organ around my dick, as I slowly pushed it inside and felt the spasm of every muscle.
Billie threw her head back and spun it around with a scream. “Look at me baby” said Donna and tried to make her look into her eyes again, fearing that Billie was hurt.
However I knew that it was a scream of surprise rather than a pain. Billie was surprised because of two things, the latter being the greater side. First, she was surprised how good it felt inside her, it was almost a very secret confession to herself. However, it was very physical and thus was shadowed by the second and most important truth.
She was also feeling what I have been feeling since the morning. A small part of my union with the things around me was shared with her now, and though I couldn’t explain how this could be possible, I thought it had something to do with the pyshical contact. When I entered her, it was as if we had created a full-circuit and thus whatever was flowing through me also flowed through her too.
At this state, all the words, all the sentence structures were useless for communication. Everything was shared just by being there, without anything to hide or any reason to hide anything. There, Billie and I stayed for an unmeasureable time, because it was not possible to measure it due to lack of a timely referance feeling. What we shared however, was way beyond any two lovers could have shared.
It was free of gender, race, religion and political visions. It was free from the subjective feelings that people could have over same subjects. The reason, was instead of stating the subject with our own sight, we were just becoming a part of it.
Thus we became one with a tree, and carried small but vital materials to our leaves that we harnessed from earth. We were the fabric of the clothes that was thrown away, and we compared the vegatative fibers of these clothes with the alive vegetables all around and inside us. We felt how the wind felt when it hugged a rock, and felt how the rock felt the wind around it. We traced way upwards towards the mountain, where the river was gushing out from the very world itself, and without fear we travelled a hundred miles down into soil.
However, I soon had to retreat from this communion. I knew what was going on, but I was at the top of my greatness in my weakest time.
Billie was screaming, with a couple of tears in her eyes, and I was still moving back and forth. Donna was looking at me with a surprised face and I noticed that I have spend quite some time behind Billie. My body, with my return from our journey, remembered how Billie screamed with joy as we traveled. I knew the true reason was our journey, but I also was glad that we had found a way to break all the sexual prejudices in a very natural way and I could give pleasure to her.
I knew that the journey was unforgettable, and I knew it was free of time, so with a foresight, I could say that what we had done was going to turn out very well, with a fruit that was going to feel the journey inside her all her life, and she was going to change the face of the world.
And the same pleasure blossoming into me now, at the right time. It was so big of a happiness that I couldn’t even feel the cold hand of death.
“Name her Tomorrow” I said as I left, and I knew Billie understood what I was saying.
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<a href="http://www.lushstories.com/stories/supernatural/to-tomorrow.aspx">To Tomorrow</a>