HEY (FEMME)GUYS: as another genetic male that's considered myself "Transgendered" since a pre-teen, here's my advice to you. Do an online search under "transgender" in your area for you to find support groups that you can visit/join to help you with your desires to dress/behave/appreciate the female sex. While society accepts women that act, behave and dress as men, we T-Girls need and DESERVE the acceptance of society as being 'multi-sexual'.
Here's a perfect example of how unbalanced men viewing transgendereds can be. I recently went to a local "99" restaurant while totally "En Femme" ( I've been 'OUT' in public for 2 decades and am considered QUITE ATTRACTIVE by open-minded men and my TG 'sisters'). I found an empty stool at the bar next to a rugged 'twenty-something' guy. (I ALWAYS ask if the seat is taken when sitting next to a man in case he might be uncomfortable with me being En Femme) He smiled and invited me to sit. After a half-hour and minimal small-talk, while he was leaving, he mentioned: "I don't see many fags in dresses here."
I remarked:"How about the bartenders?" (they were 2 attractive women both with Boston Bruins jerseys and work boots and jeans on) He didn't put 2 & 2 together until I explained to him that both of the bartenders were 'crossdressed'. He looked at me funny, scratched his head--then left! That just goes to show you how obvious and accepting society can be of women living in a male persona while castigating and ostracizing men showing their feminine side!!!
REMEMBER: all humans are BORN AS FEMALE, 'till the third month, when sexual assignment takes place in the womb. WHY? In order to perpetuate the species--of course!
So, why not just accept the fact that some men carry that extra female chromosome with them, and that they aren't afraid to exhibit that side of themselves in public?
Personally, I use my (strongly) female side as a comfort zone that I visit whenever I can--or when the need arises-due to stress, celebration, or just everyday living. Please don't prejudge me for having the amazing ability to switch sexes at the drop of a hat. I use my feminine side to my personal-best advantage, but admit to myself and openly that I will never be a woman--nor state that by wearing women's clothing--that I will EVER REALLY KNOW what cross-to-bear genetic women have. Any transvestite/crossdresser/transgendered that thinks they know what women are TOTALLY about just can't face facts! Only GENETIC WOMEN and POST-OPERATIVE transsexuals will REALLY understand what inequities and problems REAL women face daily. (I say "POST-OPERATIVE", as these people have COMMITTED themselves to living in the opposite gender--quite a task--and best of luck to them).
Getting back to the point of the subject line: There is nothing MORE EMBARRASING or detrimental to the TG movement as a "Man in a dress." PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE your dressing, MAKEUP, mannerisms and style BEFORE your public debut!!! Unless you're going to a 'drag show' or similar accepting environment, KEEP IT REAL by doing your VERY BEST to present a positive image of the transgendered community by being appropriate AND discreet. Do you ever see mature women at the shopping mall in 6" heels, heavy makeup or fishnets? OF COURSE YOU DON'T!!! Keep the fantasies for your own bedroom and only think about trying to pass as a female while you're out in public.
Gay people are mostly currently accepted in (many or most) situations--as they finally, due to their sheer determination and number--have softened the taboo's of society. Why can't the transgenderd community be the same? I have NO PROBLEM going out in my daily life in the opposite sex. If there's any problem with those I interact with--it's THEIR problem--not mine! Don't lay YOUR hangups on me--that's just plain unfair!
ENJOY your sexuality of both genders and NEVER let a one-sided society dictate what you can and can't do!!! Best of luck to all transgendered/transsexual people!!!
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<a href="http://www.lushstories.com/stories/trans/advice-for-fellow-transexuals.aspx">Advice for fellow transexuals</a>