Topic whip or paddle
29 Jan 2013 09:01
That raises some questions for me.
1. Did you refuse because he had gone past your limits and you were squicked?
2. If the answer to 1 is yes, did you have a safeword? Did you use it?
Consent is key to these kinds of activities. Both parties need to feel that they can perform these activities safely. The dom needs to trust that the sub continues to consent, perhaps in the face of behavior (crying, screaming, etc) that would ordinarily be counter-indicative. The dom can only rely on the fact that the sub has *not* called out the safeword, and can really only feel safe to proceed if he feels that the sub *would* call it out if they needed to. At the same time, the sub needs to feel safe to use the word. They must trust that if they use it, that the dom will take them out-of-scene (which includes clearing all restraints) and immediately offer after-care in a context without hierarchy, and further that there will be no future repercussions from using it (with the possible exception that there will be no repeat of whatever caused them to use the safeword to start with).
I missed this. Sorry for not responding sooner.
I did not use my safeword. I tend to avoid them as I feel they can really be a mood killer. The man whom I was with did realize that I was having a difficult time and he lightened up after that. It was his first time using a paddle so I think that was the problem.
Topic A Sad Day A Hard Goodbye
22 Jan 2013 08:18
Break-ups are never easy. The relationship between master and submissive can be quite intense, so I'm sure you're feeling a great loss right now. It's nice that you can still be happy for her. I wish you the best of luck.
Topic whip or paddle
16 Jan 2013 19:18
I've never been whipped, but I have been belted and paddled. I found the paddle to be much harsher than the belt. I remember rolling off his lap and sitting on the floor, protecting my bottom, and refusing to go back over his knee :-)
Topic Masturbating wife
15 Jan 2013 10:03
Women are multi-orgasmic, so sometimes we feel we are not quite finished when our men are.
Topic Body Hair on a guy
15 Jan 2013 09:58
If she doesn't like your back hair and you're open to removing it, then go for it. Just watch out for ingrown hairs!
Topic How To Write Good
13 Jan 2013 19:25
I really enjoyed this!
Topic Must we woman accept?
10 Jan 2013 19:50
A guy dressing down at a restaurant wouldn't be a deal-breaker for me. I don't really care one way or the other. It would bother me if he was my date at an important work function though.
Topic What type of sex toys do you own?
20 Dec 2012 18:57
Hitachi magic wand
eroscillator with multiple attachments
vibrating panties with remote
Topic married ladies
12 Dec 2012 09:17
In every marriage there are peaks and valleys. Right now, we're at about 4 times per week.
Topic drinking urine
24 Oct 2012 10:49
Urine: The body's own health drink?
Topic Are all american girls shaven??
24 Oct 2012 09:10
Wait.... Brazilian girls don't brazilian wax?
To me, waxing is still by far the best method.
I recently switched to laser. I haven't seen a hair down there in 2 months.
Topic do married women use denial of sex as a weapon..to either punish or get what..they want?
23 Oct 2012 06:31
I think these guys are cheaters and trying to make themselves feel less guilty about it by blaming their wives. That being said, it is not uncommon for a woman to lose her sex drive while she is raising kids. Pregnancy can do it (it can also have the opposite effect!). Breastfeeding can do it. Being exhausted can do it.
Topic "House style" for BDSM stories
22 Oct 2012 11:35
I've written stories both ways. When I write in the first-person -- from the perspective of the submissive -- then sometimes I like to use uppercase letters. I feel it can be more dramatic. When the writing is in third-person, then I always prefer lowercase. It seems more correct that way since the narrator is not a character in the story.
Topic what do you think of?
30 Sep 2012 10:17
I often things of naughty things I've done or want to do.
Topic What made you try Anal?
23 Sep 2012 17:40
My boyfriend wanted to do it and I was enamored with him, so . . .
I was also curious and adventurous.