Forum posts made by te11tale

Topic The funniest joke you've heard.
Posted 28 Jul 2014 09:11

Three dogs are at the vet, talking while the owners do paper work etc. An Irish wolfhound, a German shepherd and a corgi.

The wolfhound asks the corgi what she is in for?

"I'm a chewer," she said, "I can't help it, I just chew whatever is in sight when the mood takes me, so I am being put to sleep!"

The other two dogs are astounded, what a punishment just for being a dog.

"What about you?" the shepherd is asked.

"I bite" he said, "anyone and everyone, I just can't contain myself, even I have worried about it."
And he then said he was also not going home, except in an urn.

Again the others were just bowled over with the severity of the punishment.

"So", askes the corgi, "what about you?" she asks the wolfhound.

"Well, one morning, after Master went to work, I went for a wander round the house, and I found the Mistress in the bathroom, bent over drying her legs,
totally naked and open. What could I do? I just got up there and humped her!"

"Oh no, so we are all going to die then!" says the corgi.

The wolfhound says, "Oh no, that incident was yesterday, today I am here to get my claws trimmed."



Topic Things To Do In The Bedroom To Ruin The Mood (ABC Style)
Posted 28 Jul 2014 08:41

Mooning at a passing cop car. bootyshake

Topic Freak out the Walmart (or a store) cashier
Posted 28 Jul 2014 08:36

A book on endangered species, and a crossbow with a full quiver of bolts.

Topic Do YOU and your Lover have a "Your Song"? If so, what is it?
Posted 28 Jul 2014 08:29

This came out just at the right time, Bluepiglet and I would feel just like this.

//www.youtube.com/v/eM213aMKTHg?version=3&hl=en_GB&rel=0

Topic Curlygirly and Mazza's BIG sandwich!!
Posted 28 Jul 2014 07:52

Hi TDW, nice to see you again, now, do you want me to blow the candles out, or just lick off the decorations?

Just don't fart till they're out, or this might happen;


http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/dc/d6/e5/dcd6e509f1879f478f8d5744ada24920.jpg



Right, own up, who doped their panties and left them for Sniffer to find? Well?

http://www.werewolf-movies.com/screens/movie_23-4.jpg

Topic The ladies against the gentlemen.
Posted 28 Jul 2014 07:47

Well done girls, no complaints here, well played.


So SJ, why not just repeat the game, only this time the girls have to spell the numbers in full, IE; nine hundred and ninety eight. laughing6

Topic Freak out the Walmart (or a store) cashier
Posted 27 Jul 2014 13:02

A pack of condoms and a frozen chicken.

Topic Curlygirly and Mazza's BIG sandwich!!
Posted 27 Jul 2014 12:57

Tuck in folks, birthday cake for all.

http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/6a/03/03/6a0303bf1eb781715084972c9e809b67.jpg


A wee drinkies too,

http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/60/2f/a5/602fa5d2870d412326d24809e2e1d5cb.jpg

and snacks. Enjoy.

http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/fd/c6/2c/fdc62cd34b1c348478c8a27a587f3032.jpg

Topic The funniest joke you've heard.
Posted 26 Jul 2014 09:43






TRY TO DO BETTER NEXT TIME.
NOW ANSWER THE SECOND QUESTION,
BUT DON'T TAKE AS MUCH TIME AS
YOU TOOK FOR THE FIRST QUESTION, OK?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^

SECOND QUESTION:
IF YOU OVERTAKE THE LAST PERSON, THEN YOU ARE....?
~~~~~~~~~~


ANSWER: IF YOU ANSWERED THAT YOU ARE SECOND TO LAST, THEN YOU ARE.....
WRONG AGAIN. TELL ME SUNSHINE, HOW CAN YOU OVERTAKE THE LAST PERSON??


DOES YOUR EMPLOYER ACTUALLY PAY YOU TO THINK??
IF SO DO NOT LET THEM SEE YOUR ANSWERS FOR THIS TEST!

~~~~~~~~~~

Answer = By lapping the last person! Yes I am paid to think.


Two parrots sitting on a perch.
One parrot asks the other, "Can you smell fish?"

Topic Freak out the Walmart (or a store) cashier
Posted 26 Jul 2014 09:25

Either a Justin Beiber DVD,



Or,



An ice cube tray, a needle, a box of sanitary towels, and a three inch ring of razor wire.

Topic Curlygirly and Mazza's BIG sandwich!!
Posted 26 Jul 2014 09:07

Whoops, Sorry Curly, but he has missed you. "Down Sniffer."

http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/736x/8a/ab/df/8aabdf49fa69edc4afa1dc248dbd28eb.jpg

Topic Things To Do In The Bedroom To Ruin The Mood (ABC Style)
Posted 26 Jul 2014 08:53

Jabbing your rod in her ear.

Topic The ladies against the gentlemen.
Posted 26 Jul 2014 08:47

375 (But not for long I fear)

Topic The ladies against the gentlemen.
Posted 26 Jul 2014 05:02

558

Topic The ladies against the gentlemen.
Posted 26 Jul 2014 04:56

556 (Damn)

Topic The ladies against the gentlemen.
Posted 26 Jul 2014 04:54

554 Look over there Kiera, Cookies.

Topic The ladies against the gentlemen.
Posted 26 Jul 2014 04:46

552

Topic The ladies against the gentlemen.
Posted 26 Jul 2014 04:45

550 corrected just after time of writing

Topic I know i've been a lush stories member too long when.................
Posted 26 Jul 2014 04:42

.....when, other sites throw me out for posting nothing but Lush style comments. (Really, Tesco were furious)

Topic The ladies against the gentlemen.
Posted 26 Jul 2014 04:37

537 or somting.

Topic The ladies against the gentlemen.
Posted 26 Jul 2014 04:29

531 mebbee

Topic Person above has been arrested for what naughty crime?
Posted 26 Jul 2014 04:26

Giving men her phone number knowing it would never be answered.

Topic The ladies against the gentlemen.
Posted 26 Jul 2014 04:19

521 ???

Topic Curlygirly and Mazza's BIG sandwich!!
Posted 26 Jul 2014 04:16

Just wait till I can post pics again. Mwhahaha

Topic The ladies against the gentlemen.
Posted 26 Jul 2014 04:11

514 ish

Topic Say something nice about the profile of the person above you
Posted 26 Jul 2014 04:09

This profile suggests a proper gent, a mature youth, and a nice sense of reality and humour.

Topic The ladies against the gentlemen.
Posted 26 Jul 2014 04:02

50 TBD

Topic The ladies against the gentlemen.
Posted 26 Jul 2014 03:58

502

Topic The ladies against the gentlemen.
Posted 26 Jul 2014 03:56

499 ???? Spitfire.

Topic What you going to wear to bed tonight?
Posted 26 Jul 2014 03:55

Bluepiglet