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Happy Monday!!
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Says "Becoming self-aware is disconcerting, to say the least.
I used to pretend I was a little left (or right) of center to get a laugh without really knowing the meaning behind it.
Now I know I should be medicated.
sigh 
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I'll have to wait until the reno's are completed at my favorite coffee shop...
Cries 
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If you need a giggle... Watch this.
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Peace and quiet. At last. Well almost.
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And everyone questioned my long term career choice to be a farmer...
There's always an ulterior motive.
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Says "Since everyone liked that goofy sloth pic... Here's another one.
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Says "Please don't take it personally if I don't want to vote or comment or even read your "Love Poem".
After finally ditching one of the most romantically stunted assholes I've ever known for almost a decade, the thought of anything to do with the word "love" makes me want to physically vomit.
And especially after tonight's debacle of a blind date (my friends hate me... I have proof now) I really don't have the capacity to believe that bullshit. You can. I can't. Stomach it, that is.
So don't take it personally if I ignore your plea to read one. It's a firm fucking NO."
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Says "Wife: "I dreamt they were auctioning off dicks. The big ones went for ten dollars and the thick ones went for twenty dollars."
Husband: "How about the ones like mine?"
Wife: "Those they gave away."
Husband: "I had a dream too...I dreamt they were auctioning off cunts. The pretty ones went for a thousand dollars, and the little tight ones went for two thousand."
Wife: "And how much for the ones like mine?"
Husband: "That's where they held the auction."
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This totally cracked me up. If you have cats or know cats and haven't seen it before... Watch it.
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Why do I get the feeling this sloth is saying that in the voice of Austin Powers?
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I think I saw LafayetteMister at the car wash today...
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