todream65's Blog Entries

20 Jul 2014 16:48

29 Jun 2014 16:04

27 May 2014 17:55

06 May 2014 03:06

Catholic Honeymoon

On the first day of their honeymoon, the blonde bride slipped into a sexy but sweet nightie and, with great anticipation, crawled into bed.

When her husband wasn't shortly behind her, she got up and went looking for him -- and found that her new Catholic husband had settled down on the couch.

She asked him why he was apparently not going to make love to her.

"I thought you realized," he replied. "It's Lent."

"What?!" she shrieked, almost in tears. "Why, that is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard!"

"Well, you asked, and that's the answer," he said, going back to his book.

"But..." she said. "Who did you lend it to, and for how long?"

25 Apr 2014 16:34



Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for sweetness and kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.

As he sat facing her old pump organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water. In the water floated, of all things, a condom! When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist. "Miss Beatrice", he said, "I wonder if you would tell me about this?" pointing to the bowl. "Oh, yes" she replied, "isn't it wonderful?

I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter!" The pastor fainted.

20 Apr 2014 08:33

I'm not happy with the removal of my 4 stories, but what must be is what must be...I can understand if there were an advance warning, there will be a great hue and cry, like there is now from fellow story lovers. But I will abide by their decision. I am aware a number of other sites has also stopped accepting such stories and some, like Lush, have also removed/deleted them too. There is one site that is completely closed down in recent weeks, due to political and social motivations.

I do understand this category has a very thin line between legal and illegal activities, and many are taking steps to ensure they will not be caught up in the witch hunt of the illegalities. But in time we will become used to it, as with other social norms and activities of recent years.

20 Sep 2013 02:55

On Monday morning, the teacher walked to the blackboard and noticed someone had written the word "penis" in tiny letters. She turned around, but couldn't find the guilty face. She quickly erased it and began her class. Tuesday, she was again greeted with "penis" on the blackboard, written in larger letters. She looked around in vain for the culprit, and then proceeded with the day's lesson. Every morning for the rest of the week, "penis" was written on the board in larger and larger letters, and each time, the teacher furiously erased it. By Friday, she'd had enough. "That's enough," she sputtered. "I -- I can't believe this! Monday morning, I expect an explanation for this behavior!" On Monday morning, the teacher confidently entered the classroom and found on the board: "Don't you know -- the more you rub it, the bigger it gets?".......

15 Sep 2013 09:36

23 Jul 2013 16:12