Red Dwarf.

I really don't think we've seen the full sexual potential of Kryten yet.

Maybe this is just for UK based comedy/sci-fi geeks - woops!

I've been around for a few more years than most of you so of course I've seen a few flashers. Most of them were ordinary in every sense of the word.

There was one that prompted me to post.

We were having a birthday party for one of my children in McDonald's when a man came out of the gents toilets with his trousers down and stood in front of me and a group of other mums. Before we could do anything except probably scream, he was rugby tackled by Ronald McDonald himself and dragged back into the toilets.

At the time, it seemed a bit traumatic but none of the children saw anything and the young lad in the costume got a sizeable tip (financial). Your thread reminded me about it.

OK, you asked so it would be rude if I didn't reply.

At least you've thought about it and not left the dreaded red and white default, so well done you. Other than that, I'm in the camp that thinks it looks a little aggressive, but not in a bad way. Because your user name ends in "dom", I assumed the aggression was intentional. I can't believe it would put anyone off accepting a friend request or responding to a chat so why not leave it.

It's unique and if you're happy with it then you should keep it. Oh, by the way, I didn't know they were cock rings either.

Maybe not exactly an answer to the question but I thought it might help. Maybe this could be the new fad diet.


http://upload.lushstories.com/739-Cum_stats.jpg

Oh yes, I do it all the time. I have a great idea, start scribbling down ideas, get very excited (yes, that kind of excited), then when I go back to it,somehow it doesn't seem so great.

I did a quick count for you, it may make you feel a bit better but it came as a bit of a shock to me.

The count is:
4 stories written to the point where they could probably be sent in but I can't convince myself they're anywhere near good enough

72 stories in various stages of development many of which I have to believe will end up in your abandoned category.

My current story Harbour Lights:

http://www.lushstories.com/stories/mature/harbour-lights.aspx

was first written almost a year ago, it's taken this long to get it into a state I was OK with and for a lovely group of friends including Anna to persuade me that I should share it.

I would always recommend you read the story I'm going to publish next.

By the time I finish a story and put it onto Lush I'm pretty convinced it's useless and I should delete it. The ones I'm working on now however, are brilliant, or at least they are until I get them in a fit state to publish.

Thank you for the excellent reading list though.

I couldn't resist this one when I saw it, what a good read. I can't add much to the answers because mine have already been given.

I'm in the group that does, but more often I do it later thinking about the story. Even better, I think about my own version of the story and make it mine - sorry fellow writers.

Writing turns me on even more, that's why I do it but I agree with everyone who says that before it's published it should have all spelling and grammatical errors corrected. The odd typo is inevitable though.

I can't honestly claim to know much about this and I don't suffer but there is a brilliant TV program running in the UK called The Food Hospital. It uses real patients to show how many health problems can be cured or improved by simple changes of lifestyle and diet.

Have a look at: http://foodhospital.channel4.com/conditions/insomnia/

Good luck.

This may not be a bug, it may just be someone's way of saying I'm not welcome here.

My latest story was on the Story Picks for October list but has gone. It still has a score higher than most of the stories on there even after several scores had been lost in the transfer.

It still appears in the right place in the Most Popular/Last Month list.



You are #2 according to the front page.

Nicola, I can see that you are right but I promise that my report was accurate at the time. I left it for several hours before posting in case it was a temporary glitch but obviously I didn't leave it long enough.

This may not be a bug, it may just be someone's way of saying I'm not welcome here.

My latest story was on the Story Picks for October list but has gone. It still has a score higher than most of the stories on there even after several scores had been lost in the transfer.

It still appears in the right place in the Most Popular/Last Month list.

The Harbour Lights are bright tonight, their sharp glare hides all but the brightest stars from view. The beat of music from surrounding bars forms a backdrop to the cries of the excited throngs whose only interest is in drinking and having fun. I look out over the town and the scene reminds me that my life is good. I love our home in Puerto Banus and even if our boat isn't the biggest in...

Added 15 Oct 2012 | Category Mature | Votes 106 | Avg Score 5 | Views 25,204 | 86 Comments

A long hot shower had washed away the fatigue of my hard days’ work, but still another boring night loomed ahead. Anyone who thinks it's fun to work away from home and stay in hotels clearly hasn't done it too often. My reflection in the full length mirror looked back at me and made me pause to pose and indulge in a moment of self evaluation. Not bad really, I mentally refused to add "for...

Added 13 Oct 2011 | Category Mature | Votes 138 | Avg Score 4.99 | Views 40,765 | 76 Comments

The phone had barely settled in its’ cradle before my mind started planning how to cover my tracks. I should have been ashamed of myself but I wasn't, in fact I was far from being ashamed I was excited, maybe even invigorated. My mind and body were alive again with the sexual energy I missed so much in my day to day life. I checked that my husband was still engrossed in the televised sport...

Added 17 Aug 2011 | Category MILF | Votes 173 | Avg Score 4.79 | Views 46,883 | 68 Comments

I stand very still, not daring to breathe, my heart pounding so hard that I'm sure they must hear it hammering against the walls of my chest. All my will power is concentrated on stopping myself from screaming out loud. I've known for a long time that my marriage is on the rocks but I guess I've never truly admitted it to myself. Not until now that is, now I have no choice. I don't know...

Added 05 Aug 2011 | Category Wife Lovers | Votes 101 | Avg Score 4.96 | Views 39,252 | 38 Comments

Continued from The Fall and Rise of Roz - Fucked by Builders (1) I'd always been glad we built a wet room, but never more than at that moment. Huddled on the tiled floor with the water from the twin shower heads streaming over my naked body I felt warm and secure in my watery haven. The power jets did their job, washing the dirt and cum off my skin and hair. A hint of a smile touched my...

Added 06 May 2011 | Category MILF | Votes 155 | Avg Score 4.77 | Views 48,368 | 55 Comments

Summer had been kind that year and even the evenings were warm and still. My husband Darren and I were sitting on the sofa watching TV with the patio door open and a gentle, warm breeze blowing through the lounge. A cuddle developed into something more and I decided to close the curtains for a bit of privacy. No one overlooked us, but somehow it just felt wrong to leave them open. I've...

Added 14 Jan 2011 | Category Interracial | Votes 176 | Avg Score 4.96 | Views 75,062 | 88 Comments

.... continued Darkness surrounded me, even with my eyes open there was no colour, no shape. I should have gone to sleep but the sounds from downstairs occupied my thoughts holding back the mental void I needed to finally allow myself to drift off. My mind wondered who was downstairs, what was he doing. It must be Alex’s flat mate. He hadn't mentioned one but it couldn't be a wife or...

Added 07 Jan 2011 | Category Mature | Votes 105 | Avg Score 5 | Views 28,707 | 48 Comments

It had been Julie's turn to choose where we went out to that night. Of the three of us, everyone says she's the wildest which is saying something because Jackie and I aren't exactly what you would call reserved. Not for the first time, she chose to go to a club we knew well, probably too well. It had a reputation as somewhere young men go to meet older women, and of course, vice-versa....

Added 26 Nov 2010 | Category Mature | Votes 134 | Avg Score 4.99 | Views 38,290 | 66 Comments

It was always in the back of my mind, and frequently in the forefront. My first experience of having sex with more than one man at a time had left an indelible footprint on my brain. As a consequence, my sex life never really returned to the monogamous early days of my marriage. Having two children did slow me down for a couple of years but the nagging lust to have more men to satisfy me...

Added 12 Nov 2010 | Category MILF | Votes 199 | Avg Score 4.78 | Views 70,031 | 77 Comments

I lay in bed basking in the glow of my self induced orgasm, feeling the cold spots on my chest and stomach where cum had dried on my skin. For the umpteenth time this week I'd been replaying in my mind the episode of 7 days ago. Thinking about it made me rock hard again and I'd had to have another wank. Was it a week ago? My mind drifted off, the images and thoughts taking over again....

Added 17 Oct 2010 | Category Mature | Votes 152 | Avg Score 4.99 | Views 27,881 | 82 Comments