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A boy walks in on his mom and dad having sex. He asks, "What are you doing?" The dad replies, "Making you a brother or sister!" The boy says, "Well, do her doggy style I want a puppy."
A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. We checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?" The blonde replies..... "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?" Finally, a smart blonde joke!
Van Halen.... WITH David Lee Roth!
My orgasm starts with a long mental running start.... Does that make sense?Prove you want me and the rest just follows right along.(Big Hand Fetish Here)
Bud Light Platinum in and ice cold metal bottleChocolate Martinis Jack/Segram's and coke or iced tea (home brewed, not instant)
ladies and gentlemen, the rolling stones. YES! Can we add the Beatles to that? And Zac Brown Band
I've lost my teddy bear... can I sleep with u? Awwww..... I like that one
FUCK. THAT. AGREED!! That shit will make you go blind!
Its early afternoon as she lay stretched out sideways across the hammock, her long hair spilling over the side and swaying gently as she rocked. The sun is shining brightly and she can feel it warming her skin through her thin, silky dress. With one bare foot she reaches out and pushes off the ground, making the hammock swing. The breeze flows over her body and through her hair...
Added 07 Apr 2009 | Category Love Stories
| Votes 11 | Avg Score 4.82
| Views 4,809
| 11 Comments
I wake one morning to the sound of rain through my open window. Rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I drag myself out of bed and pull the curtain aside to reveal the dreary day. The sky is thick with moisture and grey as far as I can see. The rain is coming down in a steady drizzle. I don't even bother pulling a robe on over my silky, light blue nighty as I head to the kitchen for my...
Added 14 Oct 2008 | Category Straight Sex
| Votes 16 | Avg Score 4.88
| Views 12,980
| 14 Comments
After our closet episode Amber and I sneak back to study hall one at a time. First, I return to the room with five minutes to spare before the bell rang. I enter the room and immediately Mrs. Anderson begins to question me. "Where is your English homework, Mindy?" she asks me, snatching the hall pass from my hand. "What?" I ask her, confusion written all over my face. "The...
Added 22 Sep 2008 | Category Lesbian
| Votes 10 | Avg Score 4.8
| Views 18,787
| 11 Comments
The scene from the locker room replayed through my mind over and over and turning me into an excited, nervous wreck. All I could think about was how much I wanted it to be my turn and how I was going to do it. My next class with Amber was study hall. I was glad for it because I would finally have a chance to let my mind go and try to think. I took my seat next to Amber, as always, and laid...
Added 11 Sep 2008 | Category Lesbian
| Votes 12 | Avg Score 4.67
| Views 13,089
| 8 Comments
Amber and I met in the 10th grade. I was the shy one in school and I think my shyness seemed like a challenge to her because from day one she was trying to drag it out of me. Amber was very outgoing and very attractive. She was tall with long brown hair that fell past her shoulders and shone in the light. She had beautiful brown eyes that I learned to read like a book and most of the...
Added 02 Sep 2008 | Category Lesbian
| Votes 11 | Avg Score 4.55
| Views 18,065
| 12 Comments
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