Old pics are the best!

Four guys used to meet several times a week at 6:30 AM to play golf. But after many years, one of them had to drop out. The club pro approached them one day and said "I see you guys need a fourth. If you don't mind playing with a woman, I know someone who is looking to play more. She used to play in college, and is still pretty good. Would you be interested in having her join you?"

The guys all looked at each other, nodded, and then said "yes".

"Good" said the pro. " I'll see if she can join you tomorrow at 6:30."

The next morning, she was there at 6:30, and they teed off. She shot a 2 under par round, and beat the other guys handily. The guys thought this couldn't happen again, so they invited her to play again the next time they played. "Remember, we tee off at 6:30", one of them said.

"I might be 15 minutes late, is that OK?"

"I suppose", they agreed, and left.

Next time they played she was there at 6:30, but this time she played Left handed, instead of right handed, as she had played the first time, but still beat them easily. Not to be outdone, they invited her back again. "Remember, 6:30 is our tee time", said one of them.

"OK, but I might be 15 minutes late, is that OK?"

"I suppose", they agreed, and left.

Next time the guys were ready at 6:30, but she was late, and showed up 15 minutes late. She was a bit flustered, and struggled to shoot even par, but still won. They invited her in for a beer after the round. After a few minuted they asked her how she got started playing golf.

"My dad taught me. That's when I found out I was ambidextrous."

"So how do you decide which way you will play"

"Well, that's kind of funny, really. Each morning before I leave the house, I peek under the covers at my hubby, who is still asleep. He sleeps in the nude, and if his willy is laying to the right, then I play right handed, and if it's laying to the left, then I play left handed."

Without thinking, one of the guys piped up "Well, what to you do it it's straight up?"

"That's why I'm 15 minutes late," she said with a smile.

Would love to see one of these out in public - especially from the rear.

Funny how Barbie Benton pictures never go out of style.

https://upload.lushstories.com/1971073010-tumblr_n50fgo7r5I1t9ik02o1_500.jpg

One more:

Elwood:It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark... and we're wearing sunglasses.

Jake: Hit it.

The Blues Brothers.

And then there's that scene by Oscar in the original odd Couple Movie

"And you leave me these little notes. We're out of Corn Flakes. FU. It took me 3 weeks to figure
out that FU stood for Felix Unger."

1. "And to make a long story short...."

"Too Late!" Response to Wadsworth, the Butler" in CLUE!


2. "Walk this way" - Many times in many movies - they all make me laugh

This thread deserves a bump

Bob is 85 and lives in a Senior Citizens Home.

Every night after dinner he goes to a secluded garden behind the home to sit and ponder his accomplishments and
long life.

One evening, Mildred, age 82, wanders into the garden. They begin to chat and before they know it, several hours have passed. After a short lull in their conversation, Bob turns to Mildred and asks, "Do you know what I miss most of all?"

She asks, "What?''

"Sex" he replies.

Mildred exclaims, "Why you old toot. You couldn't get it up if I held a gun to your head!"

"I know," Bob says, "but it would be nice if a woman could just hold it for a while."

"Well, I can oblige," says Mildred, who unzips his trousers, removes his manhood and proceeds to hold it. Afterward, they agree to meet secretly each night in the garden where they would sit and talk and Mildred would hold Bob's thingie.

Then one night Bob didn't show up at their usual meeting place. Alarmed, Mildred decided to find him and make sure he was O.K.

She walked around the Senior Citizen Home where she found him sitting by the pool with Ethel, another female resident, who was holding Bob's little Pal.

Furious, Mildred yelled, "You two-timing son-of-a-gun!! What does Ethel have that I don't have?"

Old Bob smiled happily and replied, "Parkinson's"