01 Aug 2014 17:44
Not written for a while but started work on a new story: Journal of an Anal Nyphomaniac.
Part One, Everything Butt.
"Valley High girls we invariably find, are virgins in front and martyrs behind."
-- graffiti in girls bathroom in Valley High.
"Oh Valley High boys we're all anxious to try, but your thin floppy pricks do not satisfy."
-- graffiti in boys bathroom in Valley High.
04 May 2014 09:51
Can I do it just till I need glasses?
21 Mar 2014 06:38
18 Mar 2014 05:18
The NSA can record every sexting Yahoo video chat but they can't find a plane with 200 passengers.
17 Mar 2014 18:33
Today we celebrate the life of the worlds most famous Welshman (St Patrick).
(OK he could be English, possibly Scottish or even Italian but certainly not Irish)
10 Jan 2014 15:23
The real reason Chris Christie ordered the traffic blocked on that bridge was so that he was the only person who could get to the opening of Krispy Kreme on the other side of the river.
09 Jan 2014 18:59
08 Dec 2013 15:51
"I don't care that you have made it safe by switching the blades for your attachment. Making a sex toy out of a hand blender is just plain WRONG."
14 Nov 2013 14:25
I do not doubt the Admiral's patriotism or his commitment to civil liberties. I doubt his sanity.
03 Sep 2013 06:43
25 Jul 2013 18:49
This is what a 5Mb disk used to look like
Thats 5 million bytes, modern drives hold up to 3Tb, a billion times the space.
26 Jun 2013 17:29
A pirate found a cave with three statues of knights, the first had a spider on his shield, the second a bee, the third an ant. Just as he is about to reach out to touch one of the statues a genie appears and tells him that there is a fabulous treasure hidden in one of the statues but he has only one guess.
Where was the treasure and why?
A: The second had ruby eyes because booty is in the eye of the bee-holder.
26 Jun 2013 09:34
Shit. The A/C compressor has gone.
20 Jun 2013 05:55
Some Evolutionary Psychologists claim that men have evolved to think faster than women but that is not true. Men are merely more practiced at thinking faster than women. You have to think faster if your penis interrupts your thoughts every five minutes to say 'when are we having sex?'
15 Jun 2013 11:25
13 Jun 2013 19:27
Wow, Rupert Murdoch cutting headcount again. 50% reduction this time, his own wife!
12 Jun 2013 18:47
Agh, can't submit my competition story!! Site won't let me.
10 Jun 2013 17:11
01 Jun 2013 09:44
Saw this the last time 24 years ago today.
21 May 2013 13:49
How to tell if a scandal is a 'Watergate'
Q: Has the President been forced to resign?
If the answer is no, then it isn't a 'Watergate'
How to tell if a scandal might turn into a 'Watergate'
Q: Are elected members of the President's own party calling on him to resign?
Until they do, it is not a Watergate.
21 May 2013 04:05
20 May 2013 10:02
Home at last
08 May 2013 14:49
26 Apr 2013 05:37
OK so how do these Drothkai weddings work? If there are three deaths per wedding (or it is a dull affair) that means that only a quarter of the Drothkai men are going to breed. That does not seem to be sustainable unless they adopt polygamy (not so far but only 1/3 into book 1).
Also wondering about this Night Watch celibacy thing. Exactly what is the point? Seems to me that if you have a recruitment issue then you need to look at the reasons. No sex could well be the main one.
22 Apr 2013 15:37
So returned home to find the town hall draped with the biggest US flag possible. They must have had it for some other celebration as it is so large it covers the main entrance doors. Must be at least 50 foot high and 80 long.
22 Apr 2013 09:53
Kiddie smoke alarms are utter junk. Time to get rid of them and put in a system that is not designed by idiot baboons.
22 Apr 2013 06:40
Waiting to take off at laguardia
21 Apr 2013 17:37
Missed connection at JFK stranded overnight