Topic Double Penetration ?
17 Jan 2012 10:37
And for those who have done it, did the guys ever feel weird about being so close to the other guy? Or did they feel competitive at all? I know women who had this type of reaction from the guys.
I wasn't around for the aftermath of how the friendship sorted itself out between the guys but afterwards when we were chilling, the alpha-guy was talking about how he had his fingers in one hole and felt the sensations of the other guy's cock in the other hole and I know there was ball-cuppage that happened as he put it "in the moment"... but he was so random and casual about talking about it, and while the other guy looked uncomfortable, he didn't say anything in response (in front of me). I have no idea if there was awkwardness or discussion between them later but I never asked.
Having shared the details of this story with a guy more recently, I have since learned that apparently 'ball-cupping' would be a big "No-No" in the guy-code book, so yeah maybe it caused some issues between them later.
The threesome wasn't competitive in itself. There was the alpha-male guy (that I was already sexually involved with) orchestrating everything and the other guy was more of "the prop".
Topic When Lush members just disappear...
17 Jan 2012 10:08
I will never delete my account.
If I need time off, I plan to have a 'friend' send a PM blast saying that I was in a freak skydiving accident during a meteor shower (ripped my parachute), and that I am in a hospital 'fighting for my life' for the next 6-12 months. Then, if I decide I want to come back, I'll play it so that my 'evil twin sister' has hijacked my account and is pretending to be me, so I can avoid the people I don't want to talk to.
I get drama-rama PMs like this all the time...
Better to go out with a bang than a simple and reasonable, "I need time off Lush" message, right?
Topic To Say or not to say.
17 Jan 2012 09:53
Surely if the friendship is doomed to "blow up" after he tells her then it will happen even if he doesn't tell her; he still feels the same way. Is it really preferable to maintain a friendship where he suffers in silence while she, blissfully unaware, gets on with her life and inadvertently taunts the poor boy?
I agree he has to be prepared to hear no but if he really loves this girl like he says he does then I don't see that he has any viable option but to tell her.
I'm just saying that after he tells her, he has to be prepared for things to change... because they will. If he's concerned about 'losing her as a friend' like he said he was in his original post, he has to understand that when he rolls the dice on this one, there's no going back.
At the time of my post he just "liked her" but it appears that his feeling are way more intense as the thread has gone on, so yeah... might as well roll the dice anyway, since the option of platonic friendship probably won't be possible either way.
Topic Casey Anthony video diary
16 Jan 2012 16:33
I am in the "the state overplayed their hand with the Murder1 charge and the trial strategy" camp, though.
I am in the "the jury was dumb as fuck and weren't properly guided as to the law" camp.
This overcharging thing is way overblown. The jury was given multiple options that should have been treated as individual charges. They didn't understand that circumstantial evidence is still evidence and that people can (and have been) convicted this way. One jury member went on record saying "since the prosecution could not definitively prove how Caylee died, she had no choice but to vote to acquit.". *cough*... No, that's not right, dumbass...lol. And if these people had been listening to the Judge discuss what was required to prove manslaughter and how circumstantial evidence works, then she/they would have known this.
At the very least, I think the legal system needs to dumb it down with some "cartoon skits" that jurors can watch at the end of these trials so they can understand the law or hand them "Jurors for Dummies" on their way out of the courtroom. As it was, most of them actually left the notebooks they had been making notes in on their chairs in the courtroom when they went for deliberation, which shocked much of the media. They should at the very least have a legally experienced 'mediator' type person assigned by the court, sitting in on deliberation to coach them on the charges and ensure they "get it" before they make a life-altering decision that can't ever be reversed.
As it was I think it was a crowd mentality with one or two dominant alpha-jurors who didn't understand the charges pushing the rest of the weaker jurors into a fast decision. One juror said they were "deadlocked" 6-6 for manslaughter... yet they didn't even deliberate a full 24 hours? That doesn't sound very deadlocked to me. At the very least a 6-6 split should have warranted going back over the evidence at least once with a fine-tooth comb. As it was, the smell of 4th of July BBQ was calling to them and they rushed a judgement that some people probably felt moderately bullied into.
Topic How much intro does a story need?
16 Jan 2012 15:58
I usually have a couple of scenes that build the sexual tension before getting to the explicit narrative.
In these scenes, I develop the characters with a heavy emphasis on dialogue and fast plot-direction to set the pace. I also use this to set up the "conflict" of the story (either moral, emotional, or sexual). How the characters deal with this conflict or plot-highlight will also give the reader insight into the type of people they are.
I think character development should be subtle and seamless in the storytelling. The reader is getting to know them by watching them react to things. There is no need to tell the reader miscellaneous facts that don't add to the way the plot is going to develop or why they are likely to react the way that they do. Most of the time, the right dialogue style (ie. "what they say and how they say it") will tell you more than enough about the 'type' of character you're trying to create. Don't tell the reader that 'Erica is a haughty, stuck-up bitch', show us that she is.... it's much more effective that way, and it keeps the reader entertained rather than bored with long personality descriptives.
I have some stories where certain characters were introduced at the time of the actual sexual encounter, but again... focusing on the way they move, how they react to the main character and the dialogue *during* the sexual encounter can also effectively flesh out the characters enough for the reader to appreciate their importance in the story.
Topic Jealousy Index
16 Jan 2012 14:11
For me there's always been a huge difference in "being jealous" versus "acting jealous".
I've had a few relationships with narcissistic bad boys that enjoyed pushing my buttons and playing into my competitive side. Some men (and women) love the ego-stroke that comes with making a partner jealous. The fact that I would never openly display jealous feelings because I insisted on being 'the cool girlfriend' (regardless of how I felt) probably didn't help the situation either. In general I wish I had reacted more honestly about what bothered me and not let things slide because I ended up getting screwed over a few times because I insisted on being dismissive about red-flags.
When I'm in a positive relationship and confident in our connection, then the 'jealousy index' is low but not completely absent... which is exactly as it should be. I think a healthy level of jealousy is totally normal and good for a relationship (eg. 1-5). When it's high enough to erode trust and respect, then the relationship is ultimately doomed to fail.
Topic Orally bi-males...are we too homophobic?
16 Jan 2012 13:48
I agree there is a homophobic flavour that taints the concept of the "bisexual man" for a lot of people. And yes, there is definitely a double-standard. Being a bisexual female is socially trendy and plays into male fantasies. The 'bi' guy is still often something that ends up hidden or questioned.
I also think there's a different between a random experimental moment and a guy that is fluidly bisexual and has dated and had relationships with both genders.
Maybe it has to do with the fact that many gay men have come out of the closet who were previously married or identifying as hetero because of social pressures. A woman who knows a man admits to enjoying cock now and then may fear that he's just not come to grips with the fact that he's truly gay and she will end up as his 'social beard' if she is his girlfriend/wife, so they tend to avoid any guy that has these tendencies. Even outwardly bisexual girls seem to have the double-standard when it comes to how they see an experimental guy. It's ok for them, but not for their man.
It may also be that a bisexual guy that submits to another man is seen as a switch (submissive/dominant) and many women don't like to see their man as a submissive. Women are more typical in wanting that dominant/alpha-male in the bedroom and the idea of him on his knees or sucking cock just ruins their perception of him.
I consider myself a very sexually-open person and I've probably brought up at the least the concept of it with most guys I've been involved with (just to check!). None have ever shown any interest. None have reacted hyper-negatively (which to me indicates homophobia, or maybe they really *do* have something to hide...lol) but it's just never been their thing. I will admit if it ever did happen with a guy I was involved with, I probably would have mixed feelings about it, especially if it had been an ongoing thing. The reasons for this perhaps does stem from the fact that I have two female friends that were the 'transition-girlfriends' until their men had the nerve to come out of the closet and identify as gay instead of bisexual, and they felt very hurt/betrayed by the process.
As far as being supportive of bisexual guys though, I'm all for it, and it wouldn't bother me if it was a casual relationship. I'm just not sure how well I would do as the S.O. of one if I'm being totally honest with myself.
Topic Phone sex
15 Jan 2012 18:20
My wife and I used to do it all the time before we met face to face. We have been married almost 12 years, but have never done it since we met the first time all those years ago (no need to). Now she is overseas and not due back for a couple months. She thinks that kind of thing these days is lame or just awkward. Im not one to pressure her or make her do anything she does not want to do sexually, but ladies, how do I go about getting her interested in it again for the time she is away from me?? She has a vibrator, and Im not sure she even uses it all that often anyway. I loved phone sex, and even sexting her, but is hard to get her engaged in it these days.
Good phone sex really depends on a person's level of comfort with dirty-talk. If a person tends to be kind of "silent" during sex, then they will probably find phone sex a little more difficult to loosen up with.
You could try finding a story that you think is a turn on, or a sexual segment of a story that plays into a few of her kinks and do "bedtime story" reading on the phone. Sometimes it's easier to have a script to fall back on and then you can take pauses or talk about what part of the story made you hot... what you wish you could experience... how you imagine it... and go from there.
The phone sex I've had has always been really wild and raunchy and would probably drop a few jaws if they were listening in, but if the person isn't a natural dirty talker or used to writing erotica, then I'd definitely dial it down a few notches. The more you do it and once you get the right rhythm going, the more natural and intense it can be... it gets better the more you experiment with it, so if the first time is somewhat awkward, rest assured things will start to gel the more you try it. For a beginner or to set the right mood, I'd definitely go with a 'naughty-story' reading or maybe you can each pre-write a short little fantasy to read to each other... just to break the ice and get in the mood.
Topic To Say or not to say.
15 Jan 2012 16:49
If you tell her, you have to be willing to accept "no" for an answer and be willing to let the situation go and not continue to fixate on her if it doesn't turn out the way you want it to.
If you're uncertain if you're able to do this, or if you sense that if she rejects you that it'll be impossible for you to just act like her friend when you see her with another guy, then yeah... you risk blowing up the friendship.
Most people will say "just tell her" but to be honest... of the three male friends that confessed their feelings for me over the years, the friendship pretty much trainwrecked or blew up within the months following. The reasons for this involved various factors: either they kept trying to win me over, there was major awkwardness, the main intention of the 'so-called' friendship was to get with me, or they were just unable to handle seeing me with another guy.
You should be able to get a decent 'vibe' from this girl as to whether or not she's into you at all. It's one thing to ask if you genuinely don't know, but if you have a strong suspicion that she has no desire for you, then I would actually question telling her all this just for the sake of sharing... especially if you think it might ruin things and the friendship has value to you.
Topic Double Penetration ?
15 Jan 2012 16:26
I have once.
Who was it with: A guy I was sexually involved with and his friend (who I had just met that night).
Position: Sandwiched in between them, riding one guy while the other was in my ass. The typical sawing in and out motion.
Pleasure, pain or both? Pleasure definitely and a sense of... sexual euphoria? I felt very much in control and confident as the ultimate dirty girl that night. I didn't really have any pain associated with the situation but I had anal with one of the guys before the DP, so I was already 'primed' in a way for double-action to develop.
Hot or Not: Hot!
Something You'd Try again? I would in the right circumstance (very much depending on the guys and the situation). I'm glad I experienced it in general. It's not something I'd want to do all the time, but I think of it more as an experimental sexual treat.
Tips: If you're curious about it or uncertain if you'd like it, have your partner use a dildo on one hole while he's fucking the other. This will give you a similar sensation to a DP and whether it turns you on. Of course, having two guys focused on you is a whole different experience in terms of energy and excitement, but dildo play is a good prelude to deciding if DP is for you.
Topic How to introduce bonding slowly over time?
14 Jan 2012 10:34
LOL... after all the talk on the forums about 'sounding' and 'figging', I swear I thought "bonding" might be some new sexual kink involving crazy-glue or something.
Topic clothed or naked?
13 Jan 2012 12:02
i have actually seen guys who looks kind of chunky when dressed, just the style, too big tee, hoodie, whatever, and then they take their shirt off and they are actually very fit but their clothing style disguises it. a lot of guys just dress for comfort and it can be misleading.
I agree... more men should be more naked.
Topic clothed or naked?
13 Jan 2012 11:53
I think people, especially women look much sexier wearing a little something than they do naked. But I have seen people that did not look that hot when dressed, probably because of their choice of clothing but then you see them naked or on the beach and you say"WOW, Who would have imagined he/she looked that hot!". And the same can be true in reverse too.
So true. Especially for a guy that may just appear lean while in a dress shirt, you don't get to appreciate the shredded muscle and washboard abs until it comes off.
Topic Unexpected message on facebook?
13 Jan 2012 10:30
I would think "aww, that's cute" and then I'd probably write him back a pleasant "hope you're doing well, happy new year etc." message and get back to my day.
Well... unless he was *hot*, however the types of guys that send these messages almost never are.
Topic How long does it take you to write a story?
13 Jan 2012 10:06
It totally depends on time constraints. If I'm motivated and have free days over a weekend (or insomnia), I can finish a story in a couple of days, and then an extra day's evening hours for edits etc. I'd say that as long as I'm not procrastinating, the whole process usually averages around a week.
For me, the plotting is always the most intense part of the process... the writing itself is fairly easy. When I write a story, I always have the plot points very carefully fine-tuned ahead of time, so from there it's more like I'm just describing the 'movie' playing in my mind.
Topic How many fingers have you...
12 Jan 2012 16:41
There actually is fist shaped toys. how well they sell I have no idea
Probably about the same profit-potential as those bowling ball sized butt-plugs. lol
Topic How many fingers have you...
12 Jan 2012 15:24
How many times do you think i can quote you and say " exactly what she says" before it starts to sound redundant? LOL
Some guys think that more than 2 or 3 fingers are great!, for me NO they dont, more than that it feels weird and just not comfortable. For me that many fingers just dont have the right shape or can rub the nice places in where i like to be rub!
LOL... Yeah, funny how there are no sex toys on the market shaped like a guy's hand with his four fingers pressed together. I don't think they would sell very well.
Topic Anal toys??
12 Jan 2012 13:57
Ooo I'm likeing the sound of a glass one I'd quite like it to vibrate though
Just did a quick search... looks like they make glass vibrators.
I can't necessarily recommend that one though. Something about it reminds me of a Christmas tree ornament.
When it comes to anal, I actually prefer just a dildo without the vibration. Not sure why.
Also...if you do just get the typical glass dildos on the market, go for a double-ended one (one side smooth, the other side waved/ridged). It's more multi-functional. Glass dildos can actually be quite beautiful too.
Topic Anal toys??
12 Jan 2012 13:44
I agree with Missy... go for a small thin vibrator. The Lelo Billy is a nice one and works for both girls and boys. You probably don't need anything bigger than that. You probably want to start with a butt-plug or maybe anal beads if you're new to it and work your way up from there. You can also try a We-Vibe and use one end in your ass and one end in your pussy for self-play. Or you can go for a small (smooth) glass dildo which I quite enjoy for anal play and feels great because it can be warmed prior or put in the freezer for additional stimulation.
I've tried everything I've mentioned above... it's all good, just depends on your mood.
Topic Let's be nicer/friendlier to newbies?
12 Jan 2012 10:45
perhaps a sticky at the top of each forum outlining how to search for keywords, what sort of topics everyone is a bit bored of would help? But no doubt that'd ruin some people's fun
LOL... I seriously think we should make a 'pubic-hair' and 'cock size' thread sticky at the top of the Ask the Girls forum. That's a great idea!
Topic Casey Anthony video diary
12 Jan 2012 09:19
I don't understand why the media is still on this story to be honest. It's just feeding her narcissism. Nothing that happens going forward will change the outcome of the trial, which is the only thing that we should be concerned about at this point. Not whether she gets a new nose-ring, changes her hairstyle or tries to shop her story. The only thing that concerns her right now is making her million dollars and moving into criminal-celebrity status with the talk-show circuit and maybe a reality-tv show farther down the line. If she has no audience for this, then she just becomes another random loser in the game of life... which to me is exactly where she should be. The trial is over, Caylee isn't coming back or getting any justice in this mess, and everything she spins now is garbage and more lies... so why are people giving her an audience for this and rewarding her in exactly the way she wants?
As an aside... I do believe the state more than proved their case. I don't believe they overcharged, however I knew she would never be a death row inmate based on this crime. The downfall was picking an impatient, uneducated jury that didn't want to go over the evidence twice because they were geared up for their 4th of July weekend and wanted out of that sequestered nightmare as fast as possible. The judge should never have given them such a conservative estimate on their potential time-demands. The 'blink and it was over' duration of their deliberations was just as criminal as the case they should have been reviewing under proper care and guidance... one of those charges would have stuck if they had taken their time (ie. at the very least - manslaughter).
This is maybe a topic for another thread but the jury system as it is right now... sucks! I am much more in favour of a smaller panel from a more highly educated and qualified pool of people (maybe ex-lawyers, judges, or legal students). Criminal trials are filled with tedious facts, legal jargon, highly specialized medical/forensic evidence that the average person with the average attention span simply cannot comprehend. They will always defer to the schmoozy easy-to-understand paint by numbers theory. In this case, Jose Baez's infantile "photos and poster-board" defence closing was the winner. It looked like something I would have created for a trial role-play in my grade-9 law class. The jury system, as it is today, will quite often fail when it comes to complex legal cases like this that are based on circumstantial evidence, which is considered valid by the law but not by the simple minds of a 'jury of our peers' that will only respond to flashy CSI-style proofs.
Topic How many fingers have you...
11 Jan 2012 16:12
Both fists?? Damn, what porn have you been watching?! LOL
For me the max is three fingers but I prefer just two at a time with skilled movement. I find that in terms of properly fingering a girl, a lot of guys really fuck it up in general. I think I've complained before about guys that use the ram-rod stiff fingers at warp speed and assume it feels good to the girl. It doesn't. You've got to follow the natural curve.
All in all, fingering is fun, especially if you use the thumb on the clit at the same time, but for the most part I much prefer a cock or a vibrator/dildo.
Topic Best female profile
11 Jan 2012 12:11
I'm sorry, but I took this as maybe the op wanted to find hot profiles considering this is in the 'Ask the guys' and 'Relationships' and not in the 'fun' forum games.
Thank you LadyX for bringing up my profile, it was very gracious of you. The thing is, is that my blunt and valid point is that to have a sense of humor and have fun doesn't necessary mean make nasty remarks and jump on members and then say it was 'all in fun'.
Fishing for something else??? I'm not fishing for anything but how about a topic where people can voice the opinions without getting mobbed attack as MsYumm and then I did.
I think the OP just wanted to post a thread asking guy's opinions on profiles.
Nobody is *attacking* anyone in this thread. I don't see the premise of this thread as any different than the "Lushies you most want to have sex with" (of which I think there are about four variations scattered through the forums). I don't see anyone being upset about not being mentioned in those threads so I didn't expect this one would cause any issues either. There are no ranks here and no prizes. It's just subjective opinion and a bit of fun.
I also try not to underestimate people's ability to have a general sense of humour in the forums. I think we're all relatively mature enough to handle it both ways. And we're also entitled to give our opinions in return without it being called an 'attack'. Plus when someone takes a jab at me, I just sic my Alpha Kitty on them. She's pretty scary once she gets out of her cage. Don't let her tiara fool you...
Topic Best female profile
11 Jan 2012 10:44
Sorry I am getting to this party late. I was too busy knocking the 'betas' out of the way so I could get to this thread.
Ok, seriously though... the whole 'alpha reputation' isn't something that LadyX, Sprite and I have 'worked hard' to create. We don't have a 'burn book' and we don't all coordinate to wear pink to school on Fridays.
I think this thread is just supposed to be about profiles, not reps. As far as profiles go, I've filled in all the blanks, submitted an interview, stacked it with photo albums, have a playlist and have attempted to make it a playful space. Anyone can create a cool profile, it just takes a little time and effort. If my name gets mentioned here, then I give thanks for that. There are lots of great profiles on Lush... just that some might be more pimped out than others.
As for my answer to the Q... I would like to nominate... all the females on my friends list!! .... And I will now be handing out consolation lollypops in the cafeteria if you are a female on this site that isn't on this list yet and are now experiencing hurt feelings. School counsellors will be on hand to help you through... lol
Relax everyone... just have fun.
Topic I want to spice up my sexual life with my boyfriend but...
11 Jan 2012 03:40
He doesn't like the idea of lube?? Girl... not going to sugarcoat this one.... Dump him!
Ok, fine maybe that was a bit harsh.
My longest term relationship was with a guy that wanted to play it like he was a sex god but he had major issues with toys. I know, how was "I" possibly compatible with such a guy?! I love my toys, and wouldn't give them up at this point for anyone. It's not just about the toys... it's more what it says about insecurity and control, which I think are features that go hand-in-hand with the anti-toy male.
It's one thing if the guy just isn't familiar with experimental play, toys, watching you masturbate with them or using them on you during sex. If he's open-minded, you can have fun teaching and playing. It's another thing if the guy just vetoes it altogether and gets jealous/edgy about toy play because he feels like his almighty dick should be more than enough to hold your complete attention forever. I find that these types of guys aren't very good in bed because they are limited by their own groundless fears.
Toys (and especially lube, which sometimes is more of a necessity than a luxury depending on how wet you naturally are) are about growing and evolving your sex life together as a couple. I would have a talk with him about it. His fears may stem from the fear of you hauling out dildos that will make him have size insecurities. You can start with a smaller hand-held vibe that he can use on you while in doggy/spooning position and many vibes these days are not intimidating at all... they aren't even shaped like dicks. There's no reason that he should be against *all* toys...you'll probably find some to suit both of your needs and make you enjoy playing together as a couple.
If, after this convo, and after showing him some things you're interested in getting or trying together, he still refuses the idea, then I think you have to make some decisions. It's not the end of the world if the rest of your relationship is great, but I just find it often reflects other issues that might pop up later in other areas of the relationship (again, the insecurity/control thing). In the meantime, get your toys and have fun when he's not around. :)
Topic Best female profile
10 Jan 2012 15:38
To me, she's a legend here in lush. Sexy, gorgeous, talented, independent, real, not afraid to express herself, always give friendly suggestions and comments.
Awww.... thank you! You made my day!