Topic Do you like to be solicited for casual sex by strangers in bars?
23 Jan 2012 09:37
I wonder why women always hit on me in clubs and bars when I am with my wife. It is annoying to me and it really pisses my wife off. Just a couple of weeks ago some woman stuffed her phone number in my pants pocket while I am walking through the crowd with my wife. My wife saw her do it and confronted her on it. The girl tried to say she did not realize we were together. I don't see how in the hell she did not see that we were holding hands as we were walking by. I have discovered that women in bars/clubs are much more aggressive toward me now that I am married than back when I was single. What's up with that?
Because you are now a challenge, therefore more attractive.
As far as the original question goes, the rule tends to be that the more opportunities for sex a girl has, the less excited she gets to take them. Girls getting constantly hit-on in bars for casual sex is pretty much standard fair. You get hit on standing at the bar, on the dancefloor, waiting in line for the bathroom... it's not a novelty. For me, it drives my guard way up and contributes to a necessary stand-offish attitude, especially in a club where guys are more and more aggressive and proactive about making their 'pitch'. The easier you can get it, the less you want it. I very rarely have ever gone for a one-niter from a bar/club.
In Buz's case, because he's not projecting the "I need to find a girl to fuck" energy, he becomes even more attractive to girls. A hot guy who isn't trolling the bar for chicks, and just looks like he's having a good time and being chill becomes much more of the 'novelty'. Not sure if these girls are seeing his beautiful wife, but some of them probably don't care either way. They're into the challenge, and for some - 'stealing the hot guy' from the girl he's with can become something of a game.
Topic How old is too old for you?
22 Jan 2012 12:29
All my relationships have been pretty close to my age (actually they've all been about 4 yrs older). I think 10 years older is acceptable. I find 20 years older to be super-creepy.
I have had an older guy outside my age-norm, but I wouldn't do it again and it was just a fling. He was just a rare exception to the rule. Just like sometimes you have to make an exception to the rule for a hot younger guy, but again, it's not my usual trend.
Topic Sucking on breasts/nipples
22 Jan 2012 11:56
Is he doing the breast-sucking as an activity on its own, or is it just something that's part of sexual foreplay and leading/involving other things?
If it becomes the high-light of the sexplay or he just does this as an almost 'non-sexual' activity... like when you are watching TV or something, then yeah maybe he has more of a fixation/fetish with it. I remember a scene in an old movie where the girl was drinking a glass of milk at the breakfast table and then just let it spill out of her mouth all over her breasts and nipples and the guy was just drawn in to suck her breasts. It actually looked very sensual/kinky.
I wouldn't worry too much about it either way though, unless the concept of it makes you feel uncomfortable etc.
Topic Most Embarrassing Orgasm You've Ever Had
22 Jan 2012 11:44
Ladies, have you ever had an orgasm/been brought to orgasm by someone/something in a situation you didn't necessarily want or expect it in (ie. during a MD exam, etc)?
Yes, I quite often had orgasms during exams - especially the ones with essay-questions. Don't laugh, it's true. The underlying tension/anxiety and feeling that I might not finish writing in time before the bell rang or it was "pencils-down" tipped me over the edge many, many times. Not that I complained. I was always adept at the hands-free orgasm and boring lectures and classes were my mental playground. If I knew I had a big exam that day, I would often throw a fresh pair of panties in my bag in the morning. lol
I can't say I was ever 'embarrassed' by it though... I always thought it was an awesome secret skill to have!
Topic What type of man turns you on test
20 Jan 2012 12:29
Buff bad boy
You scored 50% masculine, 53% athletic, 18% exotic, and 38% refined!
You like your men with a boyish or feminine face but a manly body. You like him to posess bad boy looks while still maintaining some innocence. He looks like the all-American kind of hunk and I bet you love someone like.......Travis Fimmel.
Topic If you were Aladdin...
20 Jan 2012 10:49
I want my dog back, and with a healthy lifespan as long as mine.
Topic STD - the initial conversation between you and him/her
19 Jan 2012 17:38
If I had herpes or HIV, I wouldn't be waiting until we were into the groping/foreplay phase before bringing it up. I think it's important for everyone to know the facts up front.
It's a tough question because chances are high that it's going to disturb a lot of people, unless they are somehow already falling hard for you and willing to overlook anything. Then again, herpes is pretty common as far as the actual stats go, so maybe a lot of people would be cool with it as long as condoms were used (which I should mention doesn't completely protect you from transmission, even between outbreaks).
One of my girlfriends has it and she tells the guy on the second or third date and she doesn't do the one-night-stand thing since she was diagnosed. I have another friend who has it and she told her super understanding nice-guy man and now they are married with a kid.
Some people obviously are inclined to "work around the issue" as well as they can - maybe if they are really into the person already.
For me... I dunno... Unless I was feeling like this was potential marriage-material guy, I think I'd just take a pass. I think it would play on my mind and bother me enough that I would be very sexually inhibited/distracted because of it. I definitely wouldn't risk it for a casual relationship, no matter how hot he was.
As for how I'd react... I'd be PC-friendly about it in the moment. I'd thank him for sharing the info, commiserate over how hard it must be for him, and then tell him I needed to 'think it over' etc. and digest the info. Then... yeah... I'd just try to do a fade-out or let the curtain fall shortly thereafter. If it was me, I definitely wouldn't blame a person for not wanting to take the chance or get involved. It's a mature adult health-related decision that everyone needs to make individually - without pressure or guilt.
Topic When Lush members just disappear...
19 Jan 2012 12:56
it's recently been pointed out to me that Dancing Doll IS the evil twin!
Ahhh... the amnesia you sustained after our dramatic cage-fight in the womb has clearly worked exactly to my plans... Muahaahaa!
Yes! I am your long-lost evil twin sister! And the internet has reunited us at last!
Topic To Say or not to say.
19 Jan 2012 09:03
Speaking of the Friend Zone, you may also enjoy this thread...
Topic Who Would Play Them?
18 Jan 2012 22:30
Topic Who Would Play Them?
18 Jan 2012 18:53
Topic Cancun Mexico for a week Jan 23-31 - Need Ideas
18 Jan 2012 15:40
Yep, it's party central. You'll be right in the middle of all the mega-clubs and many are all-inclusive drinking. ie. you pay a flat fee like $50 and drink all night. They go all-night long too, so you can party til the sun comes up. I liked Coco Bongo and I went to an amazing house-music event at Dady'O. There's pretty much something on that main strip to suit all music/partying tastes.
You should also check into taking a cab ride or even a nice A/C greyhound bus into Playa Del Carmen for a day/evening. It's super cheap and about an hour away but you can sleep on the way to and from and PDC is awesome - much more chill than Cancun and more of a european/miami-beach type vibe. Sometimes the spring-break stuff you get in Cancun can be a bit overdone. There's great nightlife in PDC and fun shopping/beaches during the day. The bus will drop you off right on Fifth Ave where the main action is.
I far prefer PDC to Cancun in general.
* Negotiate a flat-fee with your cab driver from point A to point B before accepting the ride of you can end up getting ripped off as they take you on the 'long route'.
* Don't buy your drugs from random dudes that come up to you on the street. Find someone at a stationary location (a store preferably) so that they can't give you bunk and then just disappear.
* Be cautious with renting jetskis on the beach etc. I've seen people get scammed after-the-fact. The "don't worry, I won't call the cops if you give me $500 USD" barter does happen.
* You can buy Viagra over the counter in any Mexican drug store if you're feeling experimental.
* It can get kind of chilly at night in January, and Cancun gets a bit more wind than PDC - more of an issue for girls though since we tend to wear less clothes.
Topic Your sexual blind spot
18 Jan 2012 15:12
The allure of really intense choking/gagging deep throat, where mascara is running, eyes are bulging and it sounds like he's using his dick as a toilet plunger. The "sound effects" are what bother me, and really are not necessary to still enjoy mouth-fucking or deep throat. When I see this in porn, it just sounds like the girl is one-step away from upheaving her lunch all over his balls.
I love the rough stuff and I get that it's a dominance thing, but some guys seem to really get off on the gagging-noises specifically and I don't really 'get it', so I guess that's my sexual blind spot. I've cranked up the gagging before with a guy that I was with who really loved it, but I was pretty much acting for his benefit.
Topic Why do you like porn?
18 Jan 2012 14:14
To answer the question, I watch porn because it's hot. Sometimes it's for stimulation, sometimes I'm bored and it's just random, sometimes it gives me interesting ideas for stories or things I want to try in my own sex life. It's definitely expanded my sexual horizons and some stuff that wouldn't have interested me that much when I was 20, I find totally turns me on now. It kinda evolves and grows with your fetishes and kinks and sexual style as you go.
Admittedly, I have watched some seriously fucked up porn over the past few years. Some of it is interesting for shock value or just to see what the industry trends are or just for fun.
My tastes with porn are probably a lot more hardcore than many of the girls on this site, but then again after you get desensitized to generic fucking with plastic bodies and fake orgasms, you want something a little more gritty and intense. My one demand is that the actors look like they are genuinely enjoying it. That doesn't mean it has to be some romantic connection thing between the actors at all. That means that they have to look like they love fucking and love being porn stars and aren't just doing it for the paycheque. Tall order, yes, but some are better actors this way than others. Also, if there's no dirty talk, then I get bored fast, which is my main complaint with amateur stuff (well, unless I make it myself).
The porn director Mason/Sam No. (and yes, she's a female) is my favourite for edgy, high-quality, rough-sex, 'wow-porn' films. She is an artistic director in her own right... sometimes you forget that you're even watching porn.
Topic Why do you like porn?
18 Jan 2012 13:50
After I watched 2 Girls 1 Cup, all other pr0n just never satisfied my fetish. You can keep chasing the dragon if you wish, but you'll never again experience the same rush.
That's how addictions are created.
Yes, you'll never have a craving for soft-serve at Baskin Robbins again.
One thing is, you'll always remember where you were, what you were doing and always hold a special kind of grudge against the person that originally made you watch that classic.
Topic Double Penetration ?
17 Jan 2012 10:37
And for those who have done it, did the guys ever feel weird about being so close to the other guy? Or did they feel competitive at all? I know women who had this type of reaction from the guys.
I wasn't around for the aftermath of how the friendship sorted itself out between the guys but afterwards when we were chilling, the alpha-guy was talking about how he had his fingers in one hole and felt the sensations of the other guy's cock in the other hole and I know there was ball-cuppage that happened as he put it "in the moment"... but he was so random and casual about talking about it, and while the other guy looked uncomfortable, he didn't say anything in response (in front of me). I have no idea if there was awkwardness or discussion between them later but I never asked.
Having shared the details of this story with a guy more recently, I have since learned that apparently 'ball-cupping' would be a big "No-No" in the guy-code book, so yeah maybe it caused some issues between them later.
The threesome wasn't competitive in itself. There was the alpha-male guy (that I was already sexually involved with) orchestrating everything and the other guy was more of "the prop".
Topic When Lush members just disappear...
17 Jan 2012 10:08
I will never delete my account.
If I need time off, I plan to have a 'friend' send a PM blast saying that I was in a freak skydiving accident during a meteor shower (ripped my parachute), and that I am in a hospital 'fighting for my life' for the next 6-12 months. Then, if I decide I want to come back, I'll play it so that my 'evil twin sister' has hijacked my account and is pretending to be me, so I can avoid the people I don't want to talk to.
I get drama-rama PMs like this all the time...
Better to go out with a bang than a simple and reasonable, "I need time off Lush" message, right?
Topic To Say or not to say.
17 Jan 2012 09:53
Surely if the friendship is doomed to "blow up" after he tells her then it will happen even if he doesn't tell her; he still feels the same way. Is it really preferable to maintain a friendship where he suffers in silence while she, blissfully unaware, gets on with her life and inadvertently taunts the poor boy?
I agree he has to be prepared to hear no but if he really loves this girl like he says he does then I don't see that he has any viable option but to tell her.
I'm just saying that after he tells her, he has to be prepared for things to change... because they will. If he's concerned about 'losing her as a friend' like he said he was in his original post, he has to understand that when he rolls the dice on this one, there's no going back.
At the time of my post he just "liked her" but it appears that his feeling are way more intense as the thread has gone on, so yeah... might as well roll the dice anyway, since the option of platonic friendship probably won't be possible either way.
Topic Casey Anthony video diary
16 Jan 2012 16:33
I am in the "the state overplayed their hand with the Murder1 charge and the trial strategy" camp, though.
I am in the "the jury was dumb as fuck and weren't properly guided as to the law" camp.
This overcharging thing is way overblown. The jury was given multiple options that should have been treated as individual charges. They didn't understand that circumstantial evidence is still evidence and that people can (and have been) convicted this way. One jury member went on record saying "since the prosecution could not definitively prove how Caylee died, she had no choice but to vote to acquit.". *cough*... No, that's not right, dumbass...lol. And if these people had been listening to the Judge discuss what was required to prove manslaughter and how circumstantial evidence works, then she/they would have known this.
At the very least, I think the legal system needs to dumb it down with some "cartoon skits" that jurors can watch at the end of these trials so they can understand the law or hand them "Jurors for Dummies" on their way out of the courtroom. As it was, most of them actually left the notebooks they had been making notes in on their chairs in the courtroom when they went for deliberation, which shocked much of the media. They should at the very least have a legally experienced 'mediator' type person assigned by the court, sitting in on deliberation to coach them on the charges and ensure they "get it" before they make a life-altering decision that can't ever be reversed.
As it was I think it was a crowd mentality with one or two dominant alpha-jurors who didn't understand the charges pushing the rest of the weaker jurors into a fast decision. One juror said they were "deadlocked" 6-6 for manslaughter... yet they didn't even deliberate a full 24 hours? That doesn't sound very deadlocked to me. At the very least a 6-6 split should have warranted going back over the evidence at least once with a fine-tooth comb. As it was, the smell of 4th of July BBQ was calling to them and they rushed a judgement that some people probably felt moderately bullied into.
Topic How much intro does a story need?
16 Jan 2012 15:58
I usually have a couple of scenes that build the sexual tension before getting to the explicit narrative.
In these scenes, I develop the characters with a heavy emphasis on dialogue and fast plot-direction to set the pace. I also use this to set up the "conflict" of the story (either moral, emotional, or sexual). How the characters deal with this conflict or plot-highlight will also give the reader insight into the type of people they are.
I think character development should be subtle and seamless in the storytelling. The reader is getting to know them by watching them react to things. There is no need to tell the reader miscellaneous facts that don't add to the way the plot is going to develop or why they are likely to react the way that they do. Most of the time, the right dialogue style (ie. "what they say and how they say it") will tell you more than enough about the 'type' of character you're trying to create. Don't tell the reader that 'Erica is a haughty, stuck-up bitch', show us that she is.... it's much more effective that way, and it keeps the reader entertained rather than bored with long personality descriptives.
I have some stories where certain characters were introduced at the time of the actual sexual encounter, but again... focusing on the way they move, how they react to the main character and the dialogue *during* the sexual encounter can also effectively flesh out the characters enough for the reader to appreciate their importance in the story.
Topic Jealousy Index
16 Jan 2012 14:11
For me there's always been a huge difference in "being jealous" versus "acting jealous".
I've had a few relationships with narcissistic bad boys that enjoyed pushing my buttons and playing into my competitive side. Some men (and women) love the ego-stroke that comes with making a partner jealous. The fact that I would never openly display jealous feelings because I insisted on being 'the cool girlfriend' (regardless of how I felt) probably didn't help the situation either. In general I wish I had reacted more honestly about what bothered me and not let things slide because I ended up getting screwed over a few times because I insisted on being dismissive about red-flags.
When I'm in a positive relationship and confident in our connection, then the 'jealousy index' is low but not completely absent... which is exactly as it should be. I think a healthy level of jealousy is totally normal and good for a relationship (eg. 1-5). When it's high enough to erode trust and respect, then the relationship is ultimately doomed to fail.
Topic Orally bi-males...are we too homophobic?
16 Jan 2012 13:48
I agree there is a homophobic flavour that taints the concept of the "bisexual man" for a lot of people. And yes, there is definitely a double-standard. Being a bisexual female is socially trendy and plays into male fantasies. The 'bi' guy is still often something that ends up hidden or questioned.
I also think there's a different between a random experimental moment and a guy that is fluidly bisexual and has dated and had relationships with both genders.
Maybe it has to do with the fact that many gay men have come out of the closet who were previously married or identifying as hetero because of social pressures. A woman who knows a man admits to enjoying cock now and then may fear that he's just not come to grips with the fact that he's truly gay and she will end up as his 'social beard' if she is his girlfriend/wife, so they tend to avoid any guy that has these tendencies. Even outwardly bisexual girls seem to have the double-standard when it comes to how they see an experimental guy. It's ok for them, but not for their man.
It may also be that a bisexual guy that submits to another man is seen as a switch (submissive/dominant) and many women don't like to see their man as a submissive. Women are more typical in wanting that dominant/alpha-male in the bedroom and the idea of him on his knees or sucking cock just ruins their perception of him.
I consider myself a very sexually-open person and I've probably brought up at the least the concept of it with most guys I've been involved with (just to check!). None have ever shown any interest. None have reacted hyper-negatively (which to me indicates homophobia, or maybe they really *do* have something to hide...lol) but it's just never been their thing. I will admit if it ever did happen with a guy I was involved with, I probably would have mixed feelings about it, especially if it had been an ongoing thing. The reasons for this perhaps does stem from the fact that I have two female friends that were the 'transition-girlfriends' until their men had the nerve to come out of the closet and identify as gay instead of bisexual, and they felt very hurt/betrayed by the process.
As far as being supportive of bisexual guys though, I'm all for it, and it wouldn't bother me if it was a casual relationship. I'm just not sure how well I would do as the S.O. of one if I'm being totally honest with myself.
Topic Phone sex
15 Jan 2012 18:20
My wife and I used to do it all the time before we met face to face. We have been married almost 12 years, but have never done it since we met the first time all those years ago (no need to). Now she is overseas and not due back for a couple months. She thinks that kind of thing these days is lame or just awkward. Im not one to pressure her or make her do anything she does not want to do sexually, but ladies, how do I go about getting her interested in it again for the time she is away from me?? She has a vibrator, and Im not sure she even uses it all that often anyway. I loved phone sex, and even sexting her, but is hard to get her engaged in it these days.
Good phone sex really depends on a person's level of comfort with dirty-talk. If a person tends to be kind of "silent" during sex, then they will probably find phone sex a little more difficult to loosen up with.
You could try finding a story that you think is a turn on, or a sexual segment of a story that plays into a few of her kinks and do "bedtime story" reading on the phone. Sometimes it's easier to have a script to fall back on and then you can take pauses or talk about what part of the story made you hot... what you wish you could experience... how you imagine it... and go from there.
The phone sex I've had has always been really wild and raunchy and would probably drop a few jaws if they were listening in, but if the person isn't a natural dirty talker or used to writing erotica, then I'd definitely dial it down a few notches. The more you do it and once you get the right rhythm going, the more natural and intense it can be... it gets better the more you experiment with it, so if the first time is somewhat awkward, rest assured things will start to gel the more you try it. For a beginner or to set the right mood, I'd definitely go with a 'naughty-story' reading or maybe you can each pre-write a short little fantasy to read to each other... just to break the ice and get in the mood.
Topic To Say or not to say.
15 Jan 2012 16:49
If you tell her, you have to be willing to accept "no" for an answer and be willing to let the situation go and not continue to fixate on her if it doesn't turn out the way you want it to.
If you're uncertain if you're able to do this, or if you sense that if she rejects you that it'll be impossible for you to just act like her friend when you see her with another guy, then yeah... you risk blowing up the friendship.
Most people will say "just tell her" but to be honest... of the three male friends that confessed their feelings for me over the years, the friendship pretty much trainwrecked or blew up within the months following. The reasons for this involved various factors: either they kept trying to win me over, there was major awkwardness, the main intention of the 'so-called' friendship was to get with me, or they were just unable to handle seeing me with another guy.
You should be able to get a decent 'vibe' from this girl as to whether or not she's into you at all. It's one thing to ask if you genuinely don't know, but if you have a strong suspicion that she has no desire for you, then I would actually question telling her all this just for the sake of sharing... especially if you think it might ruin things and the friendship has value to you.
Topic Double Penetration ?
15 Jan 2012 16:26
I have once.
Who was it with: A guy I was sexually involved with and his friend (who I had just met that night).
Position: Sandwiched in between them, riding one guy while the other was in my ass. The typical sawing in and out motion.
Pleasure, pain or both? Pleasure definitely and a sense of... sexual euphoria? I felt very much in control and confident as the ultimate dirty girl that night. I didn't really have any pain associated with the situation but I had anal with one of the guys before the DP, so I was already 'primed' in a way for double-action to develop.
Hot or Not: Hot!
Something You'd Try again? I would in the right circumstance (very much depending on the guys and the situation). I'm glad I experienced it in general. It's not something I'd want to do all the time, but I think of it more as an experimental sexual treat.
Tips: If you're curious about it or uncertain if you'd like it, have your partner use a dildo on one hole while he's fucking the other. This will give you a similar sensation to a DP and whether it turns you on. Of course, having two guys focused on you is a whole different experience in terms of energy and excitement, but dildo play is a good prelude to deciding if DP is for you.
Topic How to introduce bonding slowly over time?
14 Jan 2012 10:34
LOL... after all the talk on the forums about 'sounding' and 'figging', I swear I thought "bonding" might be some new sexual kink involving crazy-glue or something.
Topic clothed or naked?
13 Jan 2012 12:02
i have actually seen guys who looks kind of chunky when dressed, just the style, too big tee, hoodie, whatever, and then they take their shirt off and they are actually very fit but their clothing style disguises it. a lot of guys just dress for comfort and it can be misleading.
I agree... more men should be more naked.