About Dani

Biography

Cynical optimist. Uppity bitch. Rump shaker. Money maker. Enigma extraordinaire. Penguin enthusiast. Food evangelist. Lipstick extremist. Titty connoisseur. Motorboat champion. Easily distracted. Not easily impressed. Certified potty mouth. Unapologetically vulgar. Classy as fuck.



I'm here to read and have fun. You're more than welcome to be a part of that if you'd like. But please be aware that I'm unavailable for anything more than friendly chat. Camp out in my friend zone at your own risk...just make sure you're good at rationing your resources. Seriously...if you wanna be my friend just be my friend. But that 'friend with ulterior motives' bullshit is for the birds. If you say what you mean and mean what you say, then you're fine in my book (with exceptions, of course).

*Disclaimer: Whatever my current avatar may be is NOT me. It's NEVER me. Most likely it's some gorgeous girl with amazing hair, or Beyoncé in a pair of chaps and a sexy white bodysuit wrangling a conspicuous looking penguin. It may even be a pair of flashy panties. Whatever the case may be, the avatar most definitely is not me.*

Name:
Danielle Algo
Sex:
Female 
Age:
29
Sign:
Pisces
Relationship Status:
In a Relationship with roymunson101
Orientation:
Bisexual
Location:
Interests:
A little bit of this, and a whole lot of that.
Favorite Books:
Give me anything suspenseful and/or romantic and I doubt I'll put it down. Oh, and erotica of course *wink-wink*.
Favorite Authors:
Jane Austen, Mark Twain, Stephen King, and everything in between.
Favorite Movies:
Happy Feet, Finding Nemo & Disneynature: Oceans are my ALL TIME fave movies. I'm also really into time period movies (Pride & Prejudice, Amadeus, Gone With the Wind, etc.) I can attempt to type them all, but it'd be a rather fruitless endeavor.
Favorite Music:
Everything from classical to hip-hop....except metal, I hate it.
Website:
Twitter
Facebook

Statistics

Date Joined:
25 Dec 2010
Page Viewed:
52,908 times
Friends:
155
Followers:
43
Days in Chat:
0
Days on Site:
30+
Forum Posts:
7,629
Stories:
1
Badges:
12

Latest Forum Posts More forum posts »

Topic: Happiness is...
Posted: 13 Apr 2018 17:12

Thoroughly cleaning your butt with a dildo. <img src="/images/emoticons/icon_clown.gif" alt="clown">

Topic: What's on your mind right now?
Posted: 11 Apr 2018 22:30

Titties.

Topic: Which shampoo do you use??
Posted: 11 Apr 2018 19:12

https://target.scene7.com/is/image/Target/14352710?wid=488&hei=488&fmt=pjpeg

DevaCurl No-Poo

It's formulated for curly hair and it doesn't lather, which was a total mindfuck when I first started using it a few years ago, especially combined with the fact that it has the same consistency as a hair conditioner. I actually put it down for months before trying it again when I ran out of my other shampoos.

Now I occasionally try other shampoos when I want to accomplish different things with my hair, but No-Poo is definitely a staple in my collection of hair products.

Topic: I think Tanks are cool. Post them if you've got them.
Posted: 08 Apr 2018 14:36

https://upload.lushstories.com/1955347908-2018-04-08.png

Winner!

Topic: I think Tanks are cool. Post them if you've got them.
Posted: 08 Apr 2018 12:49

https://cdn8.bigcommerce.com/s-0vl3q/images/stencil/700x1200/products/533/6873/MAIN__68382.1475526905.png?c=2

Topic: Is it true women are incapable of reaching orgasm
Posted: 08 Apr 2018 12:21

100% true...unless she's a witch.

Topic: Lobster or Crab?
Posted: 05 Apr 2018 17:35

Depends on how they're prepared.

Topic: Any Bourbon drinkers on Lush?
Posted: 04 Apr 2018 12:31



I can't speak for you guys in the US, but the hilarious thing is that calling a 'Makers and Coke' in a bar here in Montreal would actually lead to much more confusion than that (and I'm suspecting the exact same for just about every country that isn't swimming in bourbon like yours). A bottle of Maker's Mark costs $50 around here; it's totally up there with Grey Goose as a top-shelf bottle. If you consider that bars establish their prices with a 500% markup (which all of them do), you'd be quite literally pouring your drink from a $250 bottle.

Now consider that many bourbon connoisseurs (which most bartenders are) even find diluting a high-quality bourbon with sugar and a tiny splash of a water in an Old Fashioned to be an outright profanity, and you can only imagine their reaction when you'll be asking them to dilute a top-shelf bourbon in cheap Coca-Cola. Let me remind you that Liz who is still allegedly a bourbon newbie went through the trouble of buying herself whiskey stones to make goddamn sure that even melting ice wouldn't taint her precious Maker's Mark.

So a bartender in Montreal (or elsewhere) being asked a 'Makers and Coke' is just going to wonder what the fuck you want exactly. You're asking him to grab one of his top-shelf bottles, surely you want to appreciate it fully and not completely dilute it in the cheapest mixer imaginable in a tall Collins glass, right? So you probably want your Maker's Mark with just a tiny splash of Coke in an Old Fashioned glass, correct? And in the situation where you truly want a highball, why exactly call a drink that's twice as expensive as a good old $10 Jack and Coke when your bourbon is going to be so much diluted that even experts couldn't tell the goddamn difference? At which point, yeah, plenty of bartenders around the world would totally have a much easier time getting your drift if you just referred to a well-established Jack and Coke with a different type of whiskey. They'll still be completely obliviously to your weird rationale, but at least they'll know how to proceed.

Here's the list of famed whiskey cocktails as presented by Wikipedia. Thousands of whiskeys around the world (including bourbon, rye, Scotch, Irish, blended) and dozens of possible mixers, and Jack and Coke is absolutely there among these few limited prestigious drinks. Where in hell is your Makers and Coke exactly? Where is even your extremely generic Whiskey and Coke, or Bourbon and Coke?

https://upload.lushstories.com/1097255753-jack.jpg


The reality is that 'Makers and Coke' isn't an established drink with a fixed recipe any more than 'Gin and Milk' is; it's just two random ingredients put together. Hilariously enough, Google only returns 40,000 results for 'Makers and Coke', while 'Gin and Milk' returns 180,000 results. And 'Jack and Coke' actually returns twice as many results in Google than the extremely inclusive 'Whiskey and Coke' does.

So allow me to reiterate: Jack and Coke isn't just the name of two random ingredients put together like Makers and Coke or any other silly drink is; it's the name of a goddamn cocktail that has well over a hundred years of history (1907) and that's insanely popular all around the world. Jack Daniel's is by fucking far the best-selling whiskey in history, while Coca-Cola is by fucking far the best-selling soft drink, and they're both pillars of southern American culture with extremely similar success stories that date back to the exact same era (circa 1880). That's the whole charm of the Jack and Coke, that sort of trashy old-fashioned spirit that still holds its ground admirably well among all these other posh drinks. Not only that, but it just so happens that the particular sweetness of Jack Daniel's harmonizes with Coca-Cola better than 95% of other whiskeys out there, even better than most top-shelf whiskeys in the $50-100 range. Even the name 'Jack and Coke' has an extremely catchy sound to it and their respective vintage logos look badass as fuck when shown together:


https://upload.lushstories.com/133274666-jackcoke.jpg


For all these reasons Jack and Coke will always remain a classic benchmark cocktail and the absolute epitome of 'Whiskey and Coke', just like Kleenex® is to kleenexes or Speedos® is to speedos. And likewise, a Beam and Coke will always remain a poor man's Jack and Coke, while a Makers and Coke will always remain an extravagant man's Jack and Coke. You and Felix getting all finicky when I mention my own standards when I'm mixing myself a Jack and Coke is just as retarded as telling someone that his 'Rum and Diet Pepsi' isn't quite the same as the famous 'Rum and Coke'; it's just so goddamn face-palm inducing.

Felix deliberately played the imbecile to feed a grudge that's a few days old; you managed to outdo him by buying right into his imbecility to feed a grudge that's nearly a year old.

So fucking brilliant, I think I'll be drinking to that.

LOL.

This post is amazing.

I could never harbor a grudge for you, SP. That you think I could saddens me deeply, especially in light of posts such as this one.

Topic: What person on lush arouses you
Posted: 31 Mar 2018 10:15

https://www.lushstories.com/midge

Topic: Three Cheers for the New Roseanne!!
Posted: 31 Mar 2018 09:41

get off you fat ass and change the channel, I'm sure MSN or CNN will have Stormy Daniels promoting her has been porno career...........Please check my grammer.......sighs

LOL.

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Stories Published By Dani All Stories »

I'm So Bad at This...

I feel them in my chest, Clawing their way through my throat Until they finally reach the tip of my tongue And that's where they stay. Don't ask me what they are Let me show you. Take the kisses from my lips And wrap them around you Let them sip from your cup Until it runs dry. The pounding in your ears Is the song of my soul. You won't hear it in whispered words, But in every gasp...

Added 19 Sep 2013 | Category Love Poems | Votes 24 | Avg Score 4.86 | Views 3,220 | 22 Comments

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