Nice flop, Robben.
Seems like an impossible question to answer. I have no way of knowing how I'd feel if I were ever divorced. I think I'll just try to make my current scene work for the long haul.
The first time I undress Samantha, the first Black Girl I have ever dated, I am SPEECHLESS at the contrast of her white underwear against her skin. I LITERALLY pause at the sight of A BEAUTY I HAVE NEVER SEEN BEFORE... She looks so EXOTIC to my eyes that I am momentarily removed from a SEXUAL moment and can only look in beautiful wonder. She actually asks what's wrong... Objectification through exoticism. Lots of people equate that with racism; I can't quite go that far with it. I think it can be really creepy (like the guys that are "into" Asian girls; try unpacking the 'why's of that fetish sometime, then go take a shower, you'll feel like you need one), and it can be innocuous and involuntary (as in your case).. Am I a little bit racist? Yes I am. For the different, the unfamiliar, the UNKNOWN unsettles, unbalances and asks questions I can't easily answer. That's actually not racism, that's xenophobia. -The word, and the accusation of, racism gets thrown out a lot. I think it's important to call things out when they're wrong, and eradicate them from the mainstream as quickly as possible. On the other hand, the dominance of PC and general loss of sense of humor about anything has taken it a bit too far. Also, as I pointed out above, not everything is racism exactly . If I were the arbiter of what term gets used where, I think I'd reserve the charge of Racist and Racism for the truly and intentionally vile discriminatory words and actions. A lot of people say unacceptable things without knowing better (like a customer of mine who calls me "the prettiest oriental girl he's ever seen") or realizing that they're making other groups of people very uncomfortable. And we all have biases, but bias isn't necessarily racism.
Does the explanation not make sense to you? Am I supposed to be outraged?
I agree with a lot of what you put, LadyX. Firstly, I don't have an agenda. I chose not to ignore the science, which says that we are really one group rather than a mixture of groups or races. We have to ask, why do we see other differently? Well people look different, superficially, so it would be silly to suggest that we are all exactly the same. I'm not saying that. The notion of race, like culture does have a historical background. It's not my intention to devalue the sense of belonging or identity that people have to one group or another. I'm not trying to re-write history or make people be something they don't want to be. I just want equality for everyone. While people are artificially categorized, that's not happening.Being one race, doesn't make us dull. That's just a fact. It's how we interpret that. For me, the word race seems to be very divisive and the root of a lot of prejudice. It's hammered out every day one way or another. I don't want to be categorized. Your analogy of the brunette among a town of blondes is interesting. I wonder.So, to go back to my original question. Why if skin tone is a factor that designates the notion of race, why can't it be that hair colour is an equally valid factor?As you say, 'skin trumps hair.' That's kind of sad, but I guess from a historical, social and cultural perspective, that's the deal. So is it fair to say that your only hang-up is with the use of the word 'race' in order to differentiate groups of people? I think it's mainly a matter of semantics; nobody can deny that the combination of skin/physical traits and culture does separate and categorize us to some extent. Whether we call that 'race' or not is obviously a matter of personal choice and opinion. Your point about aiming to make us all see and treat each other as equals is an important one. The good news is, if you look at the history of human civilization, we're clearly trending toward that. At no point in history have so many people of all ethnicities, genders, and orientations enjoyed equal legal and social status. Equality and progressive thought always wins in the end.That said, (and not necessarily referring to you with this, but) there's something about the campaign for blended culture that rubs many (including me) the wrong way. A statement like "there's only one race: the human race", so often thrown out reflexively whenever the subject of race is brought up, feels like not only a blanket dismissal of the real differences among people but also strident political correctness in action. If we want to do away with the 'race' buzzword that's fine I suppose, but let's not kid ourselves by assuming that we all share a singular experience here on earth, or that the sum of our defining physical traits- such as skin color, hair texture, eye/nose/lips shape, and identification with all who share those- could be substituted with hair color for the same effect. The other component to this has to do with the fact that the suggestion is often made toward people whose ancestry is traditionally subjugated people. And now that nominal, legal equality has been established, we’re supposed to surrender our unique sets of heritage for the sake of “one race: the human race”? No thanks. I realize you’re not suggesting any such thing, but all the same, it needs to be said, since the fallacy that I’m addressing (one race, human race, we’re all the same inside) is expressed so often, as if it’s the only acceptable point of view.You mentioned that you'd rather see the classification of 'culture' rather than 'race'. The only issue I have with that is that there is an undeniable physical trait component to that. It's not just the physical aspect of course (unless we’re talking about the ‘interracial’ category of porn and erotica, in which case it’s almost 100% physical), but being Han Chinese is always going to be, and appear, very and rightfully different from being Scandinavian. Being a white person raised in Japan by ethnic Japanese parents is far different from being ethnic Japanese raised in Japan by the same parents. My experience as a half-Asian half-Black is quite different from those of different ancestry. These differences should be recognized and celebrated rather than marginalized.Maybe ethnicity is a more palatable term for some than race.
But I think regardless of the parsings of science one way or the other, we do see each other differently. We notice and experience the differences with regard to race far differently than merely different shades of hair. The "why" of that has much to do with differences of history and culture, and of course generalizations are made, just as with any scenario broader than the individual person. So if your agenda is to make us all see each other as part of one big group instead of separated into many, then I think the intentions are admirable. But the reality is that different ethnicities do, by and large, view and experience the world differently. Our working assumptions, inherent values, and points of view tend to differ (again, in generalizations, exceptions abound). We don't all share a life experience and we have very real differences. It doesn't have to be a bad thing, either. In fact, I find the idea of "one world, one race, one universal existence" nightmarishly dull. It could be that I'm way off base; maybe you're not attempting to prove a point about what you feel to be arbitrary designations regarding race, and truly wonder why hair color and skin color don't carry the same weight in terms of classifying different people. If so, then imagine the difference between being the only white person in a town of black skinned people, and being the only brunette in a town full of blondes. Inevitably, the former will be a much more intense experience than the latter. It's how we're built as a species. Skin trumps hair, and the skin comes with it's own history and baggage, for better and worse.
....it can all simply be legislated away. Again, where is this talk about politicians, big brother, and legislation coming from? Nobody's suggesting anything of that sort. This is about society and what those in it find acceptable from one another.
Let's leave personal discussions about other members out of this thread and off the forums please. Thank you.
Look UP. They are not entirely to blame but in this instance their own poor choices WERE a contributing factor ( A LARGE contributing factor in this instance. ) And hence, YES they DO share the blame...for THEIR own actions and faulty decisions NOT for the subsequent actions taken. Thanks for clearing that up; this makes you part of the problem. I'm glad to hear that you've spent time protecting the defenseless in some form or another. In this case, you're shrugging with apathy. You hate that she got assaulted I'm sure, but because she didn't carry a weapon, wore sexy clothes, and drank liquor, she can take her complaints someplace else. Maybe next time she can make herself less of a target, right? Boys will be boys! Typical retrograde misogyny: obsession with the sexuality of the victim, indifference toward the violence itself. You've made this clear. The biggest favor you could do for yourself would be to have some self-awareness. Namely, that you only selectively concern yourself with the vulnerable. ) I have said that IF they chose to set themselves up as defenseless targets, that is their RIGHT. And it is MY RIGHT NOT TO! Two entirely different meanings. Women have the right to be raped. Freedom in 2014 America: savor it.
Something powerful stirred inside me when I heard the groan of carnal satisfaction over the gentle waves. That something had been trying to return for a while, nudged toward life with every sultry glance and beautiful body that I encountered or imagined. But when I turned the corner that night and saw her on his lap, rolling her hips, unmistakeably fucking, that was when...
Added 09 May 2011 | Category Group Sex
| Votes 94 | Avg Score 4.92
| Views 30,769
| 40 Comments
The lingering scents of warm shower water and body lotion lingered in the air when I slowly awoke, still nestled comfortably in the cottony cocoon of our sheets and comforters. As my senses powered up, one by one, the events of the day before dawned on me anew, ending the peaceful morning amnesia even before my eyes opened. I’d spent the afternoon and evening in a mental battle with...
Added 04 Apr 2011 | Category Interracial
| Votes 43 | Avg Score 4.97
| Views 15,656
| 21 Comments
“I miss having sex with a man sometimes.” We were sitting in Gato del Sol, our neighborhood Mexican restaurant, having what passes for Sunday brunch, just like we did nearly every Sunday. I was skimming through the ads in the weekly alternative paper when she looked up from her iPhone and said that, breaking a good five minutes of comfortable silence. “I mean, I can’t handle a...
Added 24 Mar 2011 | Category Interracial
| Votes 42 | Avg Score 5
| Views 15,032
| 22 Comments
"Seriously? Forty-five minutes from the house, you decide not to start? Just like that? Come on!" I pleaded at the dashboard, which stared blankly back at me, both of us cooking under the harsh July afternoon sun. For what must have been fifteen minutes I turned the key in the ignition, over and over, and each time my 20-year-old BMW compact car was obviously no closer to starting. For now, I...
Added 29 Jul 2010 | Category Straight Sex
| Votes 52 | Avg Score 4.9
| Views 36,445
| 24 Comments
I woke up on my back, with no idea where I was. I felt the heat of the sun on my face before I even opened my eyes, and when I finally did, I wished I hadn't. My head pounded, my nose was both stuffy and runny. My body felt battered without even moving a muscle, and I felt what must be depression for the first time in my life. I was naked and cold, even in the warmth of focused sunlight....
Added 27 Jun 2010 | Category Reluctance
| Votes 67 | Avg Score 4.92
| Views 60,820
| 28 Comments
I had to lose almost everything before I came to my senses, sitting there at the dining table with my boyfriend Todd - watching him gamble away everything he owned and, as it turned out, a few major things that I owned too. I never considered myself to be stupid, but much as a frog stays in water that slowly warms up to a boil without noticing what is going on, it somehow didn't concern...
Added 22 Apr 2010 | Category Taboo
| Votes 131 | Avg Score 4.88
| Views 68,989
| 59 Comments
"I'm gonna cum, honey! I'm cumming- ahhh!" Loi tensed his whole body, holding himself stiffly before rolling off and collapsing on the mattress beside me. I carefully pulled the condom off of his penis and got up to throw it away. I didn't cum before he did, which means I wouldn't cum at all; when he cums, he's finished with sex. It's okay, sex isn't everything, he loves me very much, but...
Added 02 Apr 2010 | Category Hardcore
| Votes 58 | Avg Score 4.94
| Views 38,940
| 26 Comments
“When's she gonna show up? I'm ready to go!” Ramon, my boyfriend, was yelling at me from the living room. He was ready to leave two beers ago, but it was okay with me that Ashley was late; I was still trying to decide what to wear, and the fact that it was Ashley that we were going out with made me more self-conscious than usual. I'm a dancer, which is short for 'exotic dancer', which is...
Added 21 Feb 2010 | Category Hardcore
| Votes 29 | Avg Score 4.93
| Views 13,498
| 17 Comments
My night was going way too slow until you came in. Just a handful of regulars that say the same creepy shit to me every dance, and a few scrubs that pay ten dollars at the door just to watch us undress on stage or get a sneak peak at some other guy's lapdance. You came up to give me a few dollars during my dance, even asked me how I was doing when I leaned into give you the close up. I...
Added 13 Feb 2010 | Category Straight Sex
| Votes 41 | Avg Score 4.92
| Views 20,778
| 24 Comments
I'm the bad girl who loves the ballers. I love sports, I love hip-hop, and I love the boys that do both. When I got to college last year, the first thing I did was find out how to get student tickets to the football and basketball games. I had to support my team, and if I could meet the boys, even better. Ours is a big school and I never did meet any that first year, but just as final exams...
Added 10 Feb 2010 | Category Hardcore
| Votes 79 | Avg Score 4.84
| Views 84,566
| 42 Comments
Attach a note to this member, which only you can see.
Please tell us why you think this profile page is inappropriate.
What would you like to do?