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I honestly don't think that paddles are at all severe. Like anything else, I suppose it all depends on how you use them. Riding crops seem to me to be a lot easier to make a mistake with.
'All' is such a strong word - it's probably fair to say that most guys are at least curious, a minority are repelled and a minority are obsessed with it. I expect that what governs most men's feelings is their partner's attitude. If your partner hates the idea, then curiosity is likely to stay unexpressed or even repressed.
In years gone by maybe ...Make-up is part of the way our society constructs gender - girls wear makeup but boys don't. So for a few men, its important that their partner sticks closely to the conventional, which includes long hair, wearing skirts and dresses, and so on. And it should be no surprise that your grandmother, coming from an older generation, places more value on conforming to a single stereotype of femininity. At root, this is just a social convention and, these days, one without much power. And I would expect a good proportion of men would find a naked face attractive, another good proportion to not notice and a minority would find it an issue. Even in my mother's day, where makeup seemed to be a uniform, plenty of men found the make-up mask to be somewhat repellent. There's always going to be a spread of preferences but at this point in time, I'd say you'd find a lot of positive appreciation for your style regardless of it being one of necessity.
A few hundred miles would be fine, depending ;)
Definitely a turn on.
As a man main thing is that you need to be aware that plenty of women feel uncomfortable about their appearance, the mess, the smell and the practicalities of not wrecking the bedclothes or furniture. So you have to be encouraging and positive and passionate. And also the lubrication can be less effective, so don't take forever. But it isn't physically off-putting the way many women (understandably) feel it must be. If I had to guess, I would imagine there are a few men who find it yucky, a few who find it exciting, and the majority who are up for it if their partners are.
I'll just add to the chorus of 'hot'!
They can be lovely - or ugly - but I would grow to love them on my lover because they are part of her. Really it's the same for everything: the things you find cute to start with become adorable and the flaws and imperfections you gradually find precious. Because you love the person as a whole, not as a sum of parts.
I am sorry to hear of how this has made you feel lessened. It does not, from the outside, make you less of a woman. It is sad to think about how you must feel - perhaps it would be helpful to seek some counselling? Good luck & /hugs/
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