Forum posts made by piquet

Topic Ever gotten enemas?
Posted 22 Jan 2011 12:17

Yes, as Orson Welles said, "The enema of art is the absence of limitations.", wait I think it should be 'enemy'.........I'll look that up.

Topic Would you take the cash?
Posted 22 Jan 2011 12:11

No, keep the cash. I'll feast on my artistic integrity though it be very frugal fare. Honestly. the starving artist may be a thing of the past but to accept money for being a 'hack' means that you forfit the right to call yourself an artist.

Topic Why Italians Can't Be Paramedics...(Hey, I'm Italian on my mother's side, I can post this...)
Posted 20 Jan 2011 00:00

On their way to the shrine of Saint Francis at Assisi, a bus load of Irish Catholic nuns were involved in a tragic freeway accident that resulted in their deaths.

They all went up to Heaven of course and there, outside the Pearly Gates, they were met by Saint Patrick (it was Peter’s day off)

Saint Patrick stood behind a low table upon which there was a large bowl of holy water. The saint told the nuns to line up. To the first nun he said,

“Now sister before I can admit you through the gates I must ask you one question. Have you ever touched a man’s penis with any part of your body?”

“Well….yes, St Patrick. I used to care for the old and that involved washing them. So I might have touched a penis with my hands while washing an old man.”

“Very good, now dip your hands in the holy water and you can pass through the gates.”

Saint Patrick asks the next nun the same question and she tells him that she used to be an army nurse and she accidently touched a soldier’s penis once with her elbow while treating his injuries.

“Very well then, dip your elbow in the holy water and you can pass through to Heaven.”

Suddenly, a great commotion is heard at the back of the line and one of the younger nuns rushes forward.

“Please sisters, please, you’ll all get a turn,” says Saint Pat, but the young nun just looks at him and bellows,

“I want to rinse my mouth with that water before sister Agatha dips her ass in it!”

Topic Why Italians Can't Be Paramedics...(Hey, I'm Italian on my mother's side, I can post this...)
Posted 18 Jan 2011 23:10

Two leprechauns go to visit a priest. The priest agrees to see them. The first leprechaun asks,

“Father we was wondering if you know whether female leprechauns become nuns? Have you ever heard of a female leprechaun becoming a nun.”

The priest is puzzled and intrigued by this question and promises the leprechauns to do some research and he asks them to return in a few days. The leprechauns thank the priest and depart.

A few days later they return and the priest tells them, “I’m sorry boys, I looked through all the annals of the Catholic Church in Ireland and there is not a single reference to a female leprechaun taking the veil.”

The first leprechaun turns to the second who is looking rather ashamed of himself by now, and says,

“See, I told ya! You’ve been fucking penguins again.”

Dedicated to my friend Alan ‘Dirty Martini’ Jankowski

Topic Why Italians Can't Be Paramedics...(Hey, I'm Italian on my mother's side, I can post this...)
Posted 18 Jan 2011 07:03

A midget walks into a bar in Dublin with a cat and an ostrich. They sit down for a while until the midget gets up and orders three drinks. When the three have finished their drinks, the ostrich goes up to the bar and orders three more. During the course of the evening the midget and the ostrich take it in turns ordering drinks for themselves and for the cat. The bar tender is watching them the whole time and when it's the midget's turn at the bar again, the bar tender asks him,

"Hey, all night long you and your ostrich friend there have been buying all the drinks and the cat hasn't put his hand in his pocket once. Why?"

"Well, it's like this ya see. A whiles back I was digging in me garden and I digs up a lamp. I hopes it would be a magic lamp so I rubs it and, sure as me mother was born in Derry, out comes a genii. Now this was only a two wish genii and after giving it some thought I said, "" I want a bird with long legs and a tight pussy.""

Topic Finding schoolmates on Facebook, Pros and Cons?
Posted 16 Jan 2011 04:49

Yep, I've done this. I met up on Face Book with classmates from way back in the early to mid seventies. There were: the restless and insecure ethnic kids like me, the overweight girl with a heart of gold now a single mum comfortable in her own skin, the cooly arrogant over achiever who now finds himself perpetually single and a lot humbler, the clever girl with glasses, who I did have a crush on, who is now a world renouned physicist, the mentally ill and yes, inevitably, the suicides...............

It was quite an experience.

Topic what is your favorite band of all time?
Posted 10 Jan 2011 23:23

Ok, I thought they'd be gone to someone else but no !

So let me claim The Doors. I find that their aesthetic still influences my art, my writing and indeed my life to this very day.

Topic Taking the 'N' word out of Huckleberry Finn.
Posted 07 Jan 2011 22:29

Whoever thinks that Huckleberry Finn should be altered to make it more politically correct has either never read the book or totally failed to understand it.

Mark Twain was a pioneering champion of the Afro-American cause. In my opinion he stands up there with Frederick Douglas, Abraham Lincoln and Martin Luther King Junior. Why dilute and emasculate his work and its message by changing his words ?

Topic Your Favorite Celebrity Crush
Posted 02 Jan 2011 17:28

Megan Washington, sweet, nerdy, gorgeous.

Topic Awkward Pregnancy Photos
Posted 02 Jan 2011 12:38

Awww ! Very cute pics. Nice to see the guys responsible taking an interest too.

While my partner Louise was pregnant last year we went on one of our first forays into a baby store at our local shopping mall. There I saw the cutest little girl wearing a t -shirt that said "As Seen on Ultrasound." flower

Topic The Root of All Lust: Why Lush Stories is a Great Convenience
Posted 30 Dec 2010 20:15

Konrage said " Stories told in literature by good writers, however, bear weight and realism and that raw undercurrent of the author's deepest, all-too-human desires. Their hungry animal of lust is allowed to come tearing into the open, ripping into each of us with the most primal of admissions, through either true story or fiction, and at the end, the real world substantiality of the described events doesn't matter; what matters is that we were all briefly exposed to someone's most inner truths, and we all of us got off to it in one way or another."

I could not agree more !

I've been following this thread of yours Konrage with great interest. Personally, let me thank you for all your positive feedback on my own work. Not only is it very encouraging and keeps me working but it makes me damn happy - I can't put it more simply or honestly than that. Thank you for having the patience to read my long, multi chapter stories. I honestly think you are one of the few readers here that are capable of lasting the distance.

With regard to Dancing-Doll's "The Cabo Connection," I can do no better than to repeat the comment I made after first having read it : This story embodies everything that this site is about; cool, creative, sexy, sophisticated and articulate.

Enough Said !

Topic 63 year old Elton John becomes a parent
Posted 28 Dec 2010 17:23

If you'd asked me ten years ago what I thought of someone becoming a dad at 45, I would have said they were insane. Now that I've done it, I have to eat my words.

My guess is that Elton's son will have a whole gaggle of nannies to bring him up, change him, feed him, nurture him etc - all paid for by Elton and David. There is no reason that the boy won't have a great life and in a few years he stands to inherit millions. Taking Elton as a role model need not be a bad thing either, as the star is a great humanitarian, supports charities and is generally now leading a stable, drug-free life.

Topic Hugh Hefner gets engaged at 84 yrs old. Smart or senile?
Posted 26 Dec 2010 07:29

More to the point, is he erectile ? As far as the future Mrs Hef's motives go, I think Robin Williams called it 'financial attraction.'

In other news, a huge shipment of Viagra was stolen in Australia this week. The estimated street value of the haul is over AU $ 100,000. Police are looking for three hardened criminals.

Topic This one is for the guys..... Is the chase better than the catching.
Posted 22 Dec 2010 14:49

Many women think that men are only after one thing. Well, I can assure you that we're after the whole lot.

Topic Lush's New Advertising Partner...
Posted 22 Dec 2010 13:42

Oh Alan, are you just trying to pull the wool over our eyes ?

Topic Sensuality
Posted 22 Dec 2010 12:41

Oh, the raw passion, the sheer unbridled sensuality.........!

Topic Is alien sex allowed?
Posted 21 Dec 2010 19:33

As long as they are consenting, adult aliens then non-violent sex with them would be fine.

I was going to write a story along the lines of Romeo & Juliet using 'Predators' and 'Aliens'. I got as far as the balcony scene and then I realised that their reproductive organs would be totally incompatible.

"But soft! What light from yonder air-lock breaks ?"

Topic Have you ever thought about death while having sex?
Posted 21 Dec 2010 14:31

Yes ! Back in 1989 while I was engaged in a torrid one-night-stand, the dreadful thought suddenly entered my mind, "If my girlfriend ever finds out about this, I'm dead !"

Topic Post a Pic for the user above you........
Posted 21 Dec 2010 01:06

Topic Aussie Love poem.
Posted 19 Dec 2010 16:01

Priceless !!! I'm going to copy this and read it out at work.

Topic Force of Nature...
Posted 16 Dec 2010 05:25

But seriously, I'm like rock - stable, reliable, enduring, slow to change, obstinate and unyielding at times.

Topic Force of Nature...
Posted 16 Dec 2010 05:21

Yes ! I would most definately fuck the beautiful person above me; she is a goddess incarnate....Ooops ! Wrong thread.

Topic Would you fuck the person above you?
Posted 15 Dec 2010 01:59

Oh... don't tempt me with that... I'd say right now if you were here...

I meant you Ruby not this male Canadian Cat ! (no offence dude)

Topic Would you fuck the person above you?
Posted 15 Dec 2010 01:53

Hmmmm, yes. I'm well on the way to developing a foot fetish in any case.

Topic Which super hero would you like to fuck?
Posted 13 Dec 2010 07:47

The only thing better than fucking Sara Pezzini would be a threesome with you Lois.

Topic Your Favorite Celebrity Crush
Posted 11 Dec 2010 04:37

Katy Sackhoff, I would offer to buy her dinner, wine and roses then treat her to hours and hours of sex. To which she would respond by beating the crap out of me for being so presumptuous.

Topic Your Favorite Celebrity Crush
Posted 11 Dec 2010 03:19

Catherine Schell; intelligent, aristocratic, tallented and beautiful - it was a 70's thing. Oh, and she said yes - to an autograph. 1999 gop 2.jpg

Topic Your Favorite Celebrity Crush
Posted 11 Dec 2010 02:39

Laetitia Casta, subject of my poem "Laetitia."

Topic When making love do you look your lover in the eye?
Posted 25 Nov 2010 12:12

Very much so. The more connected you can get, the better !!! Sex to me is a form of communication involving all the senses - sight is our main one.