Topic About to sign training contract, but do Doms want multiple subs?
25 Apr 2013 17:08
Alright...here I am trying to understand this lifestyle...and failing miserably. Contract? Does the contract come with a money back guarantee? I totally understand the trainees apprehension to have to deal other subs. I kind of like the "exclusive" aspect of my relationships, myself. And I kind of have a hard time calling anyone "Sir" (besides the traffic cop that pulls me over). As much as I try to understand this lifestyle....I guess I'm just not cut out for it. I have read the posts that say it takes a real strong person to enter the dom/sub lifestyle and I guess you're right cuz it's going to take a real strong person person to put up with the humiliation and physical abuse dom's seem bent on dishing out.
*Sighs*...I guess I'll just have to be satisfied with my guy using his brains and sensuality to seduce me, his animal instincts to satisfy me and his love to bond with me as we lay in our pool of vanilla bliss.
Oh...I would take out an insurance policy with that contract, honey. I'm sure Lloyds of London can help you with that.
Yes, you are correct this lifestyle does not seem to be for you. You are under the misconception that submissives/slaves and Dom's are into humiliation and physical abuse. That is NOT the case. Yes, there are those out there who have that need for humiliation but it is certainly not for everyone. As for your claim of physical abuse, there should NEVER be any of that in any type of relationship.
Each submissive/slave's needs are going to be different and not every Dom/Master out there will be able to fulfill those needs. It like any other relationship takes the right combination of parties involved to make it work. Communication and more communication is the only way it stands a chance of working. A contract is one of those forms of communication and each party puts for their needs and desires, limits, hard and soft etc. It's for the good of both parties to have such an agreement and yes, as Talon said the submissive/slave must be able to stand strong in communicating those to his or her perspective Dom. Thus, the strong person comes into play.
Please do some research if you are interested in the lifestyle before you keep making blanket statements as you did above that are simply not true. Not every person who is into this lifestyle is bent on humiliation and or physical abuse. It just adds to the misconception that many such as yourself have about this amazing lifestyle. I have no problem with honest intelligent questions. You may disagree with things just don't do it in a belittling or negative way.
To the OP, as Talon said, stand strong in your contract negotiations, Do not settle for something that will bring discord down the road. If your wants, needs and desires do not fit this particular Dom, then he is not the one for you. It is not something easily found and should NOT be easily entered into.
Good Luck to you.
25 Apr 2013 16:50
Wow. My parents did all of that to me growing up to break my bad behavior. I can't believe I was such a SAM.
Haha Dani you are awesome :)
Topic forced to or used...
25 Apr 2013 11:52
Any subs here enjoy being forced to do acts or enjoy being used? I mean enjoy the acts for themself not as a part of a realtionship?
The word forced should never be used in a D/s relationship or in any relationship for that matter. Submission is what you are looking for and that is done willingly and with knowledge (hopefully) of what that means, and most certainly forethought, if you don't have the knowledge of what you are truly getting into, then please get out while you can. Everything done in a D/s relationship is done as a part of that said relationship.
Topic Good guy or Bad guy
24 Apr 2013 17:50
Would you like to go out on a date with good guy, who opens door for you and do other nice things to make you feel special.
Or you prefer bad guys with "i dont give a F**k" attitude and kind of a abusive behavior.
Also tell us your best experience on date, and AFTER IT... ;)
I doubt you will find any self respecting woman who would rather have the latter fella. Call me crazy but its strong hunch.
Topic Dom/Sub: Is that all there really is to you?
24 Apr 2013 11:06
Thanx for being so nice Sprite. I feared that I was going to be bombarded with insult because of my unsophisticated post. :) I understand the safe word concept (was explained to me recently). So thats cool however some profiles say I can only talk to you if I have permission. Or, I can only cyber with you if I have permission. Or, I can't cyber at all because I'm not allowed. Doesn't sound like they have or want any control at all. And then you see pics of BDSM/Dom or porn of the same. My gawd...I call it 'rape by permission'. It's so violent. The lingering feeling, to me, is the sub is just an object with three fuck holes that are all going to be abused. Maybe there is much more to it than that but you lost me already.
This community for the most part does not sling insults at those who do know understand or agree with the lifestyle just as we hope that how we choose to live is treated with the same respect by the vanilla world.
Sprite explained things very well as always. It takes a very strong individual to submit to another just as it takes a strong person to accept that gift and treat it with the utmost respect and love. Those who mail you asking you to be their sub or if you want a Master, are merely playing, they know nothing of how things really work in this lifestyle.
As Sprite said, the submissive sets the tone in the D/s relationship. We can end it at anytime. Those on the outside will never truly understand what his type of relationship is like or what is involved. Each one is different.
The sub is not an object with three fuck holes that are going to be abused. The submissive sets the limits as to what he or she is willing to do. The Master/Mistress's job is to test and push the soft limits and not cross the hard ones. Each person has different needs and desires and all those things are discussed fully.
True D/s relationships are not about abuse. Knowledge is key and power in life and with this type of relationship its imperative. Nobody should enter this lifestyle easily or hastily.
Topic Collared submissives
22 Apr 2013 00:30
Topic Bondage pictures!
22 Apr 2013 00:29
Topic BDSM 101
22 Apr 2013 00:23
If you see yourself as a slave but prefer to be called something else... then aren't you still a slave, just by another name?
does not a rose by another name smell as sweet?
Again, I disagree and we will just have to chalk it up to that :)
Topic BDSM 101
21 Apr 2013 17:20
Dom/mes & subs (may be either 24/7, part-time or even just occasional play referred to as "scenes"), they generally have considerable knowledge about BDSM. I don't feel those who are Dom/mes & subs are specifically lower on a BDSM scale... they, IMO, just don't choose to take things to such an extreme as a Master/slave relationship.
I respectfully disagree with this part of your posting and yes I do realize that its your opinion and this is mine. A submissive can have the same desire and resolve as a slave but just prefer to not be referred to as a slave. Just because I do not like that term does not mean that I cannot live out a 24/7 D/s relationship to any extreme. It can be just as extreme and intense as any Master/slave relationship with the choice of being referred to as a submissive and not a slave.
Topic Why is girl-girl erotica so hot?!!
20 Apr 2013 18:49
Girl on girl does nothing for me at all. I would much rather see two men then a naked woman or two or however many. So to answer your question, its not hot at all.
20 Apr 2013 15:03
Italian and Australian accents are the two that I find incredibly sexy.
Topic BDSM Movies anyone??
20 Apr 2013 14:58
A Dangerous Method with Keira Knightley, Viggo Mortensen and Michael Fassbender 2011. I enjoyed this film overall but then I enjoy the mind and what makes it tick. Its gives a lot of insight into Carl Jung and Sigmund Freud as well as touching on her need for punishment.
Topic In your Relationship...
18 Apr 2013 00:35
I am a mother of two so outwardly I am very much in control, but my true inner self is very much a different person.
Topic Interesting article
18 Apr 2013 00:11
Status should have nothing to do with it, you can't help you fall in love with. Yes they do say that you can just as easily fall in love with a rich man as to a poor one, but in either case if there is nothing there, no connection, I don't care how much money one has it doesn't make them anymore appealing.
Topic Been spyed
18 Apr 2013 00:08
How would I know if I'm being spied on? If I know someone's watching, then it's not spying.
LOL Dani you are such a smartass :)
Topic Tie me up and abuse me??
18 Apr 2013 00:07
Who will volunteer for this??
It would help if you were a bit clearer, and be careful what you wish for.
Topic Collared submissives
16 Apr 2013 19:14
Topic Toys and Bondage Gear
15 Apr 2013 22:34
i so want the teal jem stone hint hint
Me too, I want a purple stone. Haha don't hint to me, hint to your Master :)
Topic Toys and Bondage Gear
15 Apr 2013 18:25
Based on your recommendation, I just purchased the one on the left.
I hope you enjoy it as much as I do mine. :)
Topic Aggressive vs Dom
15 Apr 2013 00:21
I will end communication with a Dom who speaks to me as if I belong to him before I have agreed to such a relationship. Just because I am A sub that does not mean I am YOUR sub. I prefer Doms who are patient and wait for me to offer my submission to them. This tends to weed out the abusers. They make some stupid comment about me not really being a submissive and then they go on their merry way prowling for a weaker submissive.
This happens ALL the time, especially here on Lush.......
Topic New Badge?
13 Apr 2013 21:49
I disagree. There are some excellent writers who would never write an incest story despite the popularity of that category here because it is abhorrent to them. There are other subjects where we lack knowledge or interest. For example, I am not interested in the supernatural and don't know enough about cross-dressing to write about it. My real objection is that I think that simply covering all of the categories is not an achievement. It has nothing to do with the quality of the writing like an Editor's Pick. I think that we should award excellence and not encourage writing that simply fills a quota but may have no other redeeming quality.
I agree with this.
Topic Blow Jobs: Balls or No Balls?
13 Apr 2013 19:06
If he enjoys the sensation then my mouth, tongue and hands will be all over them. Turning him on and making him moan to my touches just fuels my desire to please him in any way he wishes.
Topic RACK vs SSC
12 Apr 2013 23:19
thats one way of putting it
One could say an uninformed or judgmental way