About RumpleForeskin

Biography

Just your typical run down, beaten down, slapped down, broken down, shot down, hung down, put down, and kicked around old blind porn writer who's been beaten up, tied up, chewed up, blown up, hung up, screwed up, messed up, held up, and told to shut the fuck up.

Name:
Rumple Foreskin
Sex:
Male 
Age:
70
Sign:
Pisces
Relationship Status:
Married
Orientation:
Straight
Location:
Lost in the desert west of Apache Junction, USA , Arizona, United States
Local Time:
24 Apr 2017 12:35
Interests:
recreational sex, writing about sex, thinking about sex, reading about sex, etc.
Favorite Books:
Those written by: William Faulkner Ernest Hemingway John Steinbeck Walter Mosley Alan Furst Elmore Leonard Raymond Chandler P.G. Wodehouse George MacDonald Fraser Kinky Friedman Flannery O'Connor Eudora Welty Walker Percy among others
Favorite Movies:
Primarily comedies: A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum It's A Mad Mad Mad Mad World Dr. Strangelove Support Your Local Sheriff/Gunfighter The Blues Brothers plus the films of: The Marx Brothers W.C. Fields Woody Allen Mel Brooks
Favorite Music:
Almost anything with the exception of: rap, polka, and a-tonal
Website:

Statistics

Date Joined:
03 Jul 2009
Last Visit:
24 Apr 2017 (4 hours ago)
Page Viewed:
27,078 times
Friends:
64
Followers:
71
Days in Chat:
0
Days on Site:
30+
Forum Posts:
3,674
Stories:
32
Badges:
16

Latest Forum Posts More forum posts »

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 24 Apr 2017 06:49

Please, no one chastise poor Hannah, for her ignorance, feigned or real, of beer. She's more to be pitied than censured. ;)

Jen, are those things good with pear cider?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 24 Apr 2017 06:40

BC, here's your Schweppes lemonade. Many thanks for sharing that recipe. Just one question; how are they with beer? ;)

And speaking of beer, here ya go, Phil.

Seeker, no doubt your concept will soon appear in 'Architecture Digest'. Coffee with BBB heading your way.

Anybody else want a drink?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 24 Apr 2017 05:30

Greetings and salutations to all scribblers of sensitive, sensual, and sublime smut.

Phil, that's a dang thoughty gesture on your part, defacing a slightly used cocktail napkin with a blueprint of a massive stockroom complex. However, while I'm renowned for being as open minded as a bowling ball, something like you are proposing would probably put a helluva crimp in the business of drinking.

BTW, I agree with you about the incredibly inappropriateness of "Happy ANZAC Day" The same goes here in the states with "Happy Memorial Day" greetings.

Just three days left to enter the 'Passion' poetry contest. Last time I checked there were 87 entries. That was not a hint, honest, just the opening to a reminder that it is a hallowed tradition that all poets get dead drunk before scribbling a single line. Just a suggestion. ;)

And with that said, who needs a drink, or some thicker than mud Cajun-style coffee?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 23 Apr 2017 07:23

Greetings to all celebrating the birthday of old Bill Shakespeare. Of course, all Rumplators know by heart the most famous line he penned, you know, the one about screwing. "Screw your courage to the sticking place."

For those more musically inclined, it's also the birthday of the pride of Vernon, Texas, the great, Roy Orbison.

Got molton hot coffee ready for Seeker and Buz. No sweat. However, Ms Hannah has thrown me a curve ball or the equivalent tennis terms. I mean to say, there a whole host of different 'Schweppes' product. Y'all know what I mean?

Any more whiney requests for service?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 23 Apr 2017 00:05

Jen, while it is tempting to think of your ass as being grass while BC is the lawnmower of life, I have a hunch you'll get away with nothing more than having a scarlet "A" (for Absentee or maybe, 'Abandon hope all ye who did not enter,) affixed to some portion of your anatomy. So sweat it not and enjoy those chasers. ;)

Any other orders?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 22 Apr 2017 20:34

Hi ya, Laura. One LIT with both lemon and lime, coming up. Ya want some of Emerson's popcorn to go with that? It's not hot but it's still fresh...probably.

Any more orders?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 22 Apr 2017 19:52

It's evening out here in the desert and the temp has just slipped below 90 f, so all is cool, so to speak.

Jen, before prescribing that headache cure, it might be best to check on the cause of Reg's pain. After all, his trouble might be due to something pills aren't best equipped to treat, such as, you know, SRH...the dreaded 'semen retention headache'. Just a suggestion.

Reg, aka Shawn, (yes, I confess to checking your profile) welcome to Rumplations, the Rx for whatever ails a resident of Lushland. Just a tip or two before you do a 180 and head back out the door.

1. Do not attempt to grab a free sample from the hot nut dispenser even though that 'less than tightly closed' lid does make that tempting. Terance the Torantula, head of security around here love to lounge in the warmth there and takes a very jaundiced view of strange fingers poking around, disturbing his meditations.
2. The two past-their-prine guys at the corner table are Coma and Tose. Trying to throw items into their open mouths is frowned upon, especially by Sprite, 'Her Awsome Royal Spriteness' whose throne is located just behind our never alert guys.
3. Our barmaid is not, a maiden, that is. Tawny the Trailer Tramp is up for any odd jobs.
4. The cranky old fart behind the bar, is your beloved barkeep, me. Just for the record, he is blinder than any known bat and/or mole. However, Terance, being a tarantula, has more than enough of them to keep the place covered. BTW, Mike (OcenaRunner) is the back-up, relief, second string Barkeep because he was the last one to reach the door when I asked for volunteers.

So Reg, what'll you have to drink? That also goes for the rest of you lounge lizards. Only difference is Reg's drink will go on Mike's tab.

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 22 Apr 2017 09:55

Jen, no problem. I'm a past (my prime master) at not filling canceled and/or non-existent orders. The thing is, G-Man and Victor-the-Wonder-Dog, are going on a field trip to check out springtime in Kansas. Just what, exactly, do you and the Lyf-unit plan on checking out during your field trip into the stock room?

If Hannah stops by, I'll tell her I haven't seen you which is, of course, something like a reasonable bit of verisimilitude

Okay, any more orders and/or non-orders?.

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 22 Apr 2017 09:07

Gretings, weekend moaners and groaners.

Happy 'Earth Day' to any Earthlings we may have among us.

Got about 4-5 orders for coffee, plus a beer or two and some lemonade. Anything else while I'm working like a galley slave behind this bar

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">?

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 21 Apr 2017 12:15

G-Man, here's your coffee. Try not to spill any on the bar 'cause it really messes up the finish

Seeker, there's just enough OJ in this screwdriver to give it a touch of orange color. So I take it you didn't 'cotton' to my poem prompt of "There once was a lady in France.' No problem. What about, 'There once was a man from Nantucket'? Just a thought.

I'm beginning to wonder if MP and BC are up to something. Okay, strike that 'if' and add, 'what'. ;)

Anybody in Zealandia or Aussieland need a big mug of coffee to help them get over their Friday night excesses? As for the rest of you...it's party time. So what'll ya have to drink?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

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Stories Published By RumpleForeskin All Stories »

Adieu, Alan

His candle burned at both ends, It could not last the night.   But readers and friends all agree, It gave such a marvelous...

Added 26 Mar 2017 | Category Love Poems

Served Just Right

  They were young, restless, and bored beyond depression. The two nursing students had been in Gwen’s cramped, single-person, dorm room since coming back from supper, smoking and joking, talking about school, men, and life while playing Beatles LP’s, keeping the incense burner going, and steadily draining the bottle of bourbon Mark had left, "for safe keeping," before flying home for a...

Added 09 Feb 2017 | Category Lesbian | Votes 13 | Avg Score 4.92 | Views 5,976 | 9 Comments

A Parting Gift To Remember

From her position draped over the back of an old, stuffed armchair, Lynn felt the fresh load of cum oozing out of her throbbing pussy, working its way through matted pubic hairs, then sliding down trembling inner thighs until it dripped onto the floor.  The thick cream felt cool on her hot, flushed, skin.  With Bob’s help, she struggled to her feet, turned around and hugged him. It had been...

Added 23 Dec 2016 | Category Flash Erotica | Votes 21 | Avg Score 5 | Views 2,407 | 17 Comments

What Are Friends For?

She blew in like a pissed off F5 tornado, shouted, "Don't say a fucking thing,” slammed the door shut,and slung her purse across the room. It ricocheted away from my butt-weary couch, cleared off the end table, then teetered briefly at the edge before following the displaced debris onto the floor. Only the reading lamp survived, leaning drunkenly against the wall, shade tilted at a...

Added 20 Aug 2016 | Category Love Stories | Votes 15 | Avg Score 5 | Views 3,738 | 13 Comments

Afternoon Aftermath

For Cindy Davis, it had been a weekend of unbelievable firsts. She had just spent two nights in a mid-town hotel room making almost constant love with Ray, a man she barely knew. Of course, it had been a once-in-a-lifetime experience, no doubt about that. He’d been alone, a long way from home and had needed her. Still, it marked the first time she’d ever cheated on her fiance', which...

Added 21 Apr 2016 | Category Reluctance | Votes 17 | Avg Score 4.88 | Views 9,827 | 10 Comments

Treats First then the Trick

It was a fantastic fuck. Randi Druitt's sex-charged body writhed and shuddered. A large, powerfully built man lay between her widespread legs. With deep, fluid strokes, he pumped his demanding cock in and out of her very willing pussy. Each thrust left her gasping with passion and wanting more. The freckle-faced redhead lay nude on the backseat of an old Buick, parked on the far side of a...

Added 21 Oct 2015 | Category Cheating | Votes 11 | Avg Score 5 | Views 6,865 | 7 Comments

Recommended Read Getting A Lot Of What She Wants

The thick, glistening shaft slipped from Cindy’s mouth like a long, sexy serpent. When the swollen cockhead came into view, she lapped at its smooth surface while glancing up at her husband. Ray’s big, nude body was sprawled comfortably on their living room couch. Curly blonde hair cushioned his head against the wall. Those blue eyes she adored so much were shut. His lips were parted. It...

Added 28 Sep 2015 | Category Fetish | Votes 15 | Avg Score 5 | Views 6,129 | 17 Comments

Of Love and War and Donna Lynn

It was another turbulent day in the summer of 68. Student protests raged from the Sorbonne to Berkeley. In the US, civil rights demonstrations and anti-war rallies were turning violent. Martin Luther King was dead; Bobby Kennedy would be soon. In South Vietnam, hundreds of other Americans were being killed each month. Soldiers patrolled the streets of Saigon, Paris, and Washington while...

Added 31 Aug 2015 | Category Historical | Votes 18 | Avg Score 4.83 | Views 1,863 | 17 Comments

A Different Sort of Cramming

Textbooks and study notes showered down from the bouncing mattress of a venerable four-poster bed as a long, thick, column of rigid flesh kept up a steady rhythm of lust and need, surging back and forth past stretched, slightly irritated pussy lips that clutch tightly around the unyielding shaft relentlessly cramming its engorged cock head into the inner most depths of a wet, stuffed...

Added 27 Aug 2015 | Category Quickie Sex | Votes 7 | Avg Score 5 | Views 8,262 | 5 Comments

Feels So Right It Can’t Be Wrong: chapter 3

Kelly woke in her stepbrother’s bed cuddled next to his nude body. The sheet barely covered his morning erection. She thought about teasing him awake, it struck her as the big-sisterly thing to do, but then rolled onto her back, stretched, and immediately dozed off and slipped into yet another rerun of her dreams. Like most of those she’d had recently, they involved sex. Unlike the...

Added 30 Jun 2014 | Category Taboo | Votes 16 | Avg Score 5 | Views 22,264 | 9 Comments

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Friends Comments

elizabethblack
Posted: 15 Apr 2017 21:08
Love Bessie Smith - thanks for the reminder

Simmerdownchick
Posted: 13 Apr 2017 22:49



Simmerdownchick
Posted: 27 Mar 2017 17:36
Lilly
Posted: 17 Mar 2017 16:42

online
biggym
Posted: 17 Mar 2017 03:10
Happy Happy Birthday!!! Know it will be a naughty fun day. Stay naked and hard. Enjoy and smile.
Lush
Posted: 17 Mar 2017 00:20
Happy Birthday from the Lush team.
Lydia_
Posted: 16 Mar 2017 17:26

Milik_the_Red
Posted: 05 Mar 2017 17:11

Simmerdownchick
Posted: 03 Mar 2017 22:58






Simmerdownchick
Posted: 02 Mar 2017 19:13
Thanks for accepting my friend request~

Simmerdownchick
Posted: 02 Mar 2017 19:12


browncoffee
Posted: 02 Mar 2017 01:13

Buz
Posted: 28 Feb 2017 12:30
Bill, I'm dropping a few bottles of Southern Comfort off to celebrate with you. It seems some of us southern gentleman are appreciated. Congratulations!


browncoffee
Posted: 01 Feb 2017 13:53

HeraTeleia
Posted: 09 Jan 2017 20:52
Thank you for the add, love!


Milik_the_Red
Posted: 31 Dec 2016 13:30

Buz
Posted: 23 Dec 2016 14:50
Merry Christmas, Rumpy!


ChuckEPoo
Posted: 05 Oct 2016 10:59
Thanks for adding me.
elizabethblack
Posted: 05 Oct 2016 09:50
Just saw this and knew you had to have it:

elizabethblack
Posted: 26 Aug 2016 17:33
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