About RumpleForeskin

Biography

Just your typical run down, beaten down, slapped down, broken down, shot down, hung down, put down, and kicked around old blind porn writer who's been beaten up, tied up, chewed up, blown up, hung up, screwed up, messed up, held up, and told to shut the fuck up.

Name:
Rumple Foreskin
Sex:
Male 
Age:
70
Sign:
Pisces
Relationship Status:
Married
Orientation:
Straight
Location:
Lost in the desert west of Apache Junction, USA , Arizona, United States
Local Time:
23 Mar 2017 03:57
Interests:
recreational sex, writing about sex, thinking about sex, reading about sex, etc.
Favorite Books:
Those written by: William Faulkner Ernest Hemingway John Steinbeck Walter Mosley Alan Furst Elmore Leonard Raymond Chandler P.G. Wodehouse George MacDonald Fraser Kinky Friedman Flannery O'Connor Eudora Welty Walker Percy among others
Favorite Movies:
Primarily comedies: A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum It's A Mad Mad Mad Mad World Dr. Strangelove Support Your Local Sheriff/Gunfighter The Blues Brothers plus the films of: The Marx Brothers W.C. Fields Woody Allen Mel Brooks
Favorite Music:
Almost anything with the exception of: rap, polka, and a-tonal
Website:

Statistics

Date Joined:
03 Jul 2009
Last Visit:
23 Mar 2017 (2 hours ago)
Page Viewed:
26,831 times
Friends:
62
Followers:
68
Days in Chat:
0
Days on Site:
3
Forum Posts:
3,582
Stories:
31
Badges:
15

Latest Forum Posts More forum posts »

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 22 Mar 2017 05:21

Greetings, to all who patronize this blight on the Lush landscape. Just for the record, the official house gin is something called, 'Gunga Gin'. It's a unique brand recently (like, today) mentioned in a 'Wall Street Journal' editorial.

"Yet the President clings to his (wiretapping by Obama) assertion like a drunk to an empty gin bottle... ."

Coffee's been rendered down to the essence of caffinated bliss for those so inclined. Add a shot or two of 'Gunga Gin' for a drinking experience you won't soon forget...unless you quickly knock off another mug or two of the stuff.

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 21 Mar 2017 07:27

Your attention, please...or else.

"She Who Must Be Obeyed" has made an appearance among us in her ceremonial robes of 'Chief Badge Giver'.

(slides over two double-Hannah's) Don't sweat the cost, Boss. I'll just add it to the already bloated bill of Buz the immoderate drinker.

If you hang around long enough, Emerson, will probably come dragging in and crank up the official 'Rumplator Popcorn Popper'.

Okay, who's gonna join, Nicola, aka 'Our Fearless Leader' in a, 'Hannah'?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 21 Mar 2017 06:17

Greetings, dwellers in this den of delightful depravity.

Brown Coffee, mega-congrats on that EP. Something tells me many more will follow. That is, if you don't become an award-winning, best-selling author and move on to appearing on celebrity web sites. ;)

TANYA! Glad to have you among us. This joint's been needing more good poets. Now about your, handle. You see, at the moment, Rumplations slut-of-all-tricks is 'Tanya the Trailer Tramp'. However, she's been thinking about using her middle name to give her a touch of class. Personally, I'm not convince, Tawny' (short for, 'Tawandalayo') will do the trick, but who knows?

Jen, good to have you back. How's that ankle and life in general?

Mike, don't push your luck on that bar tab of yours. If I charged you for wear and tear on the stock room... .

Laura, how are things, in Zealandia? Thought about you and the heat down your way when the temps hit 95 out here in the US of A desert.

To celebrate BC's EP, there's a one-for-the-price-of-two special on 'Hannah's' all day today. Now who wants a drink?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 20 Mar 2017 21:04

Evening, wasted and/or wanton wandering wastrels in the wild and wooly wonderland of Lush.

Yesterday, I was bragging how I'd put together a fine example of a, reading cue list. Now I come back, humble and contrite, tail dragging, to admit I can't find my list. While my 'cputer still does some odd things when interacting with Lush software (Nic won't let anything resembling that taboo subject be posted, btw) I'd appreciate any advice on finding my future Lush Hall-of-Fame stories. (sigh) Tsigh)

Where is, Emerson, when what this joint needs is a bunch of hot, popcorn?

So the question before tonight's gathering is: what should one choose if offered either free love or nickel beer?

Now who wants a drink to help them cogitate?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 20 Mar 2017 04:17

Starting the day with flowers and hugs from Lilly and Hannah is a much appreciated, max goodness. (slides a mug filled with hot thick "coffee" over to BC) This should keep you bright of eye and bushed of tail for the rest of the day. Almost forgot, you want to cut that a bit with some Beaver Breath Brandy?

I'm putting together a very impressive reading cuelist , if I do say so my own self. I went back through the new stories until I reached the first of March and marked off my choices. Only one I've missed is the third part of Verbal'ds 'Open Window' series and something tells me he'll have the link headed my way ASAP. ;)

That said, I'm always open to suggestions...the more suggestive, the better.

This coffee's not getting any fresher. So who wants a mug full of the stuff?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 20 Mar 2017 02:33

Greetings, Rumplators. Not unlike General MacArthur and a three-day old fish taco, I have returned. There's nothing quite like coming back to this toxic waste dump on the great info highway.

My thanks to Mike and all the customers he didn't drive off for keeping this place the leading eye-sore in all of Lushland during my absence.

The sacred and ceremonial coffee urn is making its usual disgusting 'almost done' noises so I'll cut this epistle short. Just want y'all to know I appreciate all the birthday wishes. They played their part in making it easily the best 70th birthday I've ever celebrated. ;)

And in conclusion, here's a meditation on coming back.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YNsZLtzF18

Now, who the hell wants a drink?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 19 Mar 2017 23:38

While at the VA blind rehab center, the Feds had me blocked from 'Lush" (more about that in a later post). So I learned about Alan's death over on Stories Space. I knew Alan a long, long time. How long, well, months before he left this post on page one of Rumplations.

Damn, but I'm going to miss that guy.
<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

xxx

DirtyMartini
Posted: Tuesday, January 26, 2010 12:48:50 PM


Rank: Purveyor of Poetry & Porn

Joined: 10/19/2009
Posts: 5,910
Location: Right here on Lush Stories..., United States

Is this the place I heard has "Warm beer and cold women"???
Hmmm...give me a double bourbon with a bourbon chaser...it's one of those days...put it on my tab...


You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories

xxx

R.I.P. Alan.

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 04 Mar 2017 18:35

Evening, y'all. Congrats on your latest, RR, Verbal.Same goes to Mike for bustin' right through that 100 vote total.

I've only had one story ever soar that high but it was the first of a three-part series in the 'Incest' category. When Lush dropped that group, I had to delete them, then re-work and post as a 'step' story series titled, 'Feels So Right, It Can't Be Wrong' in Taboo. All three are doing okay, but while the first story has over 40K views, it has only 20 votes. Oh, the travails of a dedicated pornmeister.

And speaking of, Mike, is Rumplations new, relief, second-string backup barkeep keeping up with the drink orders? If service ever starts to drag, just let Terance the Tarantula know and he'll 'counsel' a bit with, the old, OceanRunner. ;)

BTW and in conclusion, any questions would-be Pulitzer winners might have about effective story openings should check out my definitive opus on the subject, "How to be a Happy Hooker" in the Resources forum.

Any more drink orders? If so, yell at Mike. Me, I'm outta here. Later.

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 03 Mar 2017 18:01

Evening, Mike. (slides over a schooner of 'BotBB and a tumbler full of 'Big Beaver Lick Bourbon)

That BC do get around. Reminds me of a gal I knew, good looking and popular, who considered a double-date as going out with two guys on the same night, either separately or in pairs. How long do you figure it'll be before it's posted?

Speaking of stories, I've added my vote (#96) to your story's total. What's more, I gave it a five.

I may have already asked but, if so, forgotten about the view totals for 'famous' and 'legendary'.

Emerson, you ready for another beer? (Why, oh why, do I bother to ask? he wonders while sliding yet another mug filled to the rim over to Big E.)

Who else is ready for a drink?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 03 Mar 2017 15:59

Binary jokes? Has this joint sunk so low customers are coming in cracking...binary jokes? Check that, rant. For this crowd to start swapping binary jokes might represent a dangerous elevation of the already non-existent standards.

Next thing you know, 'Johnny Gross' jokes and maybe even 'Elephant' jokes will assail us.

(gives VG her high-tone shampain drink)

Seeker, at the rate things are going around here, a shipment of that high-octane Canadian vodka can't get here soon enough.

Phil, glad you decided to expose yourself. The house brew is something called, 'Bottom of the Barrel Beer' Not sure where it's brewed 'cause no place will claim the stuff. Emerson's IQ has dropped at least 20 points since he started inhaling it on an hourly bases so it must be pretty good.

Anybody else need a drink?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">.

back to top

Stories Published By RumpleForeskin All Stories »

Served Just Right

  They were young, restless, and bored beyond depression. The two nursing students had been in Gwen’s cramped, single-person, dorm room since coming back from supper, smoking and joking, talking about school, men, and life while playing Beatles LP’s, keeping the incense burner going, and steadily draining the bottle of bourbon Mark had left, "for safe keeping," before flying home for a...

Added 09 Feb 2017 | Category Lesbian | Votes 13 | Avg Score 4.92 | Views 5,489 | 9 Comments

A Parting Gift To Remember

From her position draped over the back of an old, stuffed armchair, Lynn felt the fresh load of cum oozing out of her throbbing pussy, working its way through matted pubic hairs, then sliding down trembling inner thighs until it dripped onto the floor.  The thick cream felt cool on her hot, flushed, skin.  With Bob’s help, she struggled to her feet, turned around and hugged him. It had been...

Added 23 Dec 2016 | Category Flash Erotica | Votes 21 | Avg Score 5 | Views 2,289 | 17 Comments

What Are Friends For?

She blew in like a pissed off F5 tornado, shouted, "Don't say a fucking thing,” slammed the door shut,and slung her purse across the room. It ricocheted away from my butt-weary couch, cleared off the end table, then teetered briefly at the edge before following the displaced debris onto the floor. Only the reading lamp survived, leaning drunkenly against the wall, shade tilted at a...

Added 20 Aug 2016 | Category Love Stories | Votes 15 | Avg Score 5 | Views 3,655 | 13 Comments

Afternoon Aftermath

For Cindy Davis, it had been a weekend of unbelievable firsts. She had just spent two nights in a mid-town hotel room making almost constant love with Ray, a man she barely knew. Of course, it had been a once-in-a-lifetime experience, no doubt about that. He’d been alone, a long way from home and had needed her. Still, it marked the first time she’d ever cheated on her fiance', which...

Added 21 Apr 2016 | Category Reluctance | Votes 17 | Avg Score 4.88 | Views 9,655 | 10 Comments

Treats First then the Trick

It was a fantastic fuck. Randi Druitt's sex-charged body writhed and shuddered. A large, powerfully built man lay between her widespread legs. With deep, fluid strokes, he pumped his demanding cock in and out of her very willing pussy. Each thrust left her gasping with passion and wanting more. The freckle-faced redhead lay nude on the backseat of an old Buick, parked on the far side of a...

Added 21 Oct 2015 | Category Cheating | Votes 11 | Avg Score 5 | Views 6,823 | 7 Comments

Recommended Read Getting A Lot Of What She Wants

The thick, glistening shaft slipped from Cindy’s mouth like a long, sexy serpent. When the swollen cockhead came into view, she lapped at its smooth surface while glancing up at her husband. Ray’s big, nude body was sprawled comfortably on their living room couch. Curly blonde hair cushioned his head against the wall. Those blue eyes she adored so much were shut. His lips were parted. It...

Added 28 Sep 2015 | Category Fetish | Votes 14 | Avg Score 5 | Views 6,032 | 15 Comments

Of Love and War and Donna Lynn

It was another turbulent day in the summer of 68. Student protests raged from the Sorbonne to Berkeley. In the US, civil rights demonstrations and anti-war rallies were turning violent. Martin Luther King was dead; Bobby Kennedy would be soon. In South Vietnam, hundreds of other Americans were being killed each month. Soldiers patrolled the streets of Saigon, Paris, and Washington while...

Added 31 Aug 2015 | Category Historical | Votes 18 | Avg Score 4.83 | Views 1,781 | 17 Comments

A Different Sort of Cramming

Textbooks and study notes showered down from the bouncing mattress of a venerable four-poster bed as a long, thick, column of rigid flesh kept up a steady rhythm of lust and need, surging back and forth past stretched, slightly irritated pussy lips that clutch tightly around the unyielding shaft relentlessly cramming its engorged cock head into the inner most depths of a wet, stuffed...

Added 27 Aug 2015 | Category Quickie Sex | Votes 7 | Avg Score 5 | Views 8,203 | 5 Comments

Feels So Right It Can’t Be Wrong: chapter 3

Kelly woke in her stepbrother’s bed cuddled next to his nude body. The sheet barely covered his morning erection. She thought about teasing him awake, it struck her as the big-sisterly thing to do, but then rolled onto her back, stretched, and immediately dozed off and slipped into yet another rerun of her dreams. Like most of those she’d had recently, they involved sex. Unlike the...

Added 30 Jun 2014 | Category Taboo | Votes 16 | Avg Score 5 | Views 22,158 | 9 Comments

Feels So Right, It Can’t Be Wrong: Chapter 2

After a lot of poking, prodding, and teasing, the stepsiblings managed to disentangle and get off Jason’s bed. Before he could pull Kelly out of the room, however, she noticed the sheets. “Whoa. Halt. Stop. Sorry, but those sheets have got to go.” Jason protested but she remained adamant as only a somewhat fastidious big sister can be and began stripping the bed. Perhaps it was seeing her...

Added 27 Jun 2014 | Category Taboo | Votes 12 | Avg Score 4.92 | Views 21,672 | 6 Comments

Image Gallery

4 Images

Video Gallery

6 Videos

Friends Comments

Lilly
Posted: 17 Mar 2017 16:42

online
biggym
Posted: 17 Mar 2017 03:10
Happy Happy Birthday!!! Know it will be a naughty fun day. Stay naked and hard. Enjoy and smile.
Lush
Posted: 17 Mar 2017 00:20
Happy Birthday from the Lush team.

Lydia_
Posted: 16 Mar 2017 17:26

Milik_the_Red
Posted: 05 Mar 2017 17:11

Simmerdownchick
Posted: 03 Mar 2017 22:58






Simmerdownchick
Posted: 02 Mar 2017 19:13
Thanks for accepting my friend request~

Simmerdownchick
Posted: 02 Mar 2017 19:12


browncoffee
Posted: 02 Mar 2017 01:13

Buz
Posted: 28 Feb 2017 12:30
Bill, I'm dropping a few bottles of Southern Comfort off to celebrate with you. It seems some of us southern gentleman are appreciated. Congratulations!


browncoffee
Posted: 01 Feb 2017 13:53

HeraTeleia
Posted: 09 Jan 2017 20:52
Thank you for the add, love!


Milik_the_Red
Posted: 31 Dec 2016 13:30

Buz
Posted: 23 Dec 2016 14:50
Merry Christmas, Rumpy!


ChuckEPoo
Posted: 05 Oct 2016 10:59
Thanks for adding me.
elizabethblack
Posted: 05 Oct 2016 09:50
Just saw this and knew you had to have it:

elizabethblack
Posted: 26 Aug 2016 17:33
elizabethblack
Posted: 02 Jul 2016 20:08

WellMadeMale
Posted: 31 May 2016 14:47
Your honky tonk can use an upgrade, chief...


Gillianleeeza
Posted: 13 May 2016 15:03
I never thought of making them into necklaces. I'll have to give it a try.
back to top
 


Attach a note to this member, which only you can see.

Tell us why

Please tell us why you think this profile page is inappropriate.

Reason