About RumpleForeskin

Biography

away

Just your typical run down, beaten down, slapped down, broken down, shot down, hung down, put down, and kicked around old blind porn writer who's been beaten up, tied up, chewed up, blown up, hung up, screwed up, messed up, held up, and told to shut the fuck up.

Name:
Rumple Foreskin
Sex:
Male 
Age:
70
Sign:
Pisces
Relationship Status:
Married
Orientation:
Straight
Location:
Lost in the desert west of Tombstone, AZ , Arizona, United States
Local Time:
18 Nov 2017 08:01
Interests:
recreational sex, writing about sex, thinking about sex, reading about sex, etc.
Favorite Books:
Those written by: William Faulkner Ernest Hemingway John Steinbeck Walter Mosley Alan Furst Elmore Leonard Raymond Chandler P.G. Wodehouse George MacDonald Fraser Kinky Friedman Flannery O'Connor Eudora Welty Walker Percy among others
Favorite Movies:
Primarily comedies: A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum It's A Mad Mad Mad Mad World Dr. Strangelove Support Your Local Sheriff/Gunfighter The Blues Brothers plus the films of: The Marx Brothers W.C. Fields Woody Allen Mel Brooks
Favorite Music:
Almost anything with the exception of: rap, polka, and a-tonal
Website:

Statistics

Date Joined:
03 Jul 2009
Last Visit:
18 Nov 2017 (18 minutes ago)
Page Viewed:
28,974 times
Friends:
75
Followers:
75
Days in Chat:
0
Days on Site:
25
Forum Posts:
4,295
Stories:
34
Badges:
16

Latest Forum Posts More forum posts »

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 18 Nov 2017 07:02

Greetings and welcome to another day here in Rumplations, oh ye who reject the rancid realms of reality.

Boss lady, if you want a Bloody Mary, you'll get a BM...no, wait, those initials are already taken, but you get my drift, I hope. Anyway, your drink was thrown together using "Verisimilitude Vodka: the chagrin of Valdosta, Ga'. Since Georgia is the home state of Buz, your drink should be, well, interesting.

Scott, your objection to the brand name (tm) of GK has been taken under advisement by the management and staff of Rumplations. Here's your coffee. I added a double shot of BBB to keep you smiling.

Okay, any more calls for something to 'wet your whistle (though why anyone would want a wet whistle is beyond me)?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 17 Nov 2017 19:31

Greetings, Nic. you've come to the right place for high-class brandy. Maybe not quite high as Courvoisier, but a double shot of Beaver Breath Brandy will be an unforgettable drinking experience, unless you get lucky. BTW, you want a dark rum Cuban Libre for a chaser? Another option would be one of Rumplations' very own, 'Gorilla Killahs'. It's sort of a high octane rum and Coke using 151 proof rum, a few ice cubes and a splash of Coke.

Now the rest of you proud patrons are bugging me for tequila (DD) and a fruity wine (Tanya) Ms T, what about some Sangria?

Ping, ya didn't order so here's a beer and a 'Gorilla Killah'. You'll have to decide which one is the chaser.

Any more calls for alcohol? Think I'll go read a few more booby stories and head for bed and hope for dreams. ;)

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 17 Nov 2017 14:43

For our 'hammerless' Ms Sara:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lGMOB2K78iM


Now, just between to two of us, save the hammer for computer monitors and laptops. As a rule, they don't move. For bashing heads, a baseball bat comes highly recommended.

Now what'll you hard-headed hombres want to drink?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 17 Nov 2017 12:55

Afternoon, DD. Someone 'borrowed' our sledgehammer...but, I'm told Jeff is very hard-headed. sooooooo, maybe he can help. Meanwhile here's your iced tea gussed up with a sprig of mint, or something green, and a healthy shot of Verisimilitude Vodka If anyone asks, just tell 'em it's a 'Long Island Tea'.

A 'LIT'T would seems to be perfect for reading Curvy contest entry (check out her last post for a link). Best I can tell, all the other Rumplator entries already have more than enough votes. To be honest, I'd bet good money, if any was available around here, that Curvy's entry will easily qualify, if it hasn't already. The entries of 'Rex' and 'Just a Guy' are well worth reading and might benefit from an extra vote or two. Check 'em all out.

Now whadda ya scabrious scribblers want to drink?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 17 Nov 2017 10:21

It's the crack of noon out here in the desert. Tanya, I may need to hire you own as the replacement for Mike as the official, Rumplations Unpaid Relief/back-up/substitute and, most importantly, unpaid barkeep.

How you all are? I thought about VG (VirGoGo) and especially her private jet stories when I read this bit of news:

Yahoo News: “If you’re one of the lucky Americans who owns a private jet, don’t fret. Republicans have your back—in the form of tax breaks.”

“The new Senate tax bill will give those who own or lease private planes breaks on the amount they pay to companies for maintenance, storage, fueling and even when they want to hire pilots and a crew onboard. “

I might have shown up a bit sooner but after reading that, I was breathless, and in need a strong drink. What about the rest of you? What'll ya have to drink?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8"> /

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 16 Nov 2017 17:34

Evening, y'all states-siders.

Here's a lemonade for Hannay, though she's probably flaked out by now.

Sara, sorry for your negative view of Thursday. But the question really isn't if you're finished with that tedious day but whether it's finished wit you...imo.

Gil, no water is bad, but no commodes is horrible. Here's hoping your aqua is now flowing freely into your bungalow. BTW, read about 'Seal Island' out in your bay and how it's vanishing thanks to the non-existence of global warming and resultant water levels rising. You got any inside info you'd be willing to share?

Tanya, congrats on the relatively successful trip to and from court. Having been a 17-year old man-child many long years ago, I appreciate your maternal stressors.

Jeff, ya want that I should first put your Safeway beer in the zero-degree chiller. Get that stuff cold enough and I'm told it's, uh, not so bad.

My talking wristwatch is telling me it's time for all customers to order, pay for, and begin drinking...a lot. So what'll ya producers of perverted porn have to drink already?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 16 Nov 2017 08:09

Greetings, fellow travelers down the erotic expressway of Lushland.

Tanya, thanks for getting 'Big Bertha' up at at 'em, and best of luck with the court case.

Mega-congrats on that RR, Larry. Here's your coffee, thanks to Tanya and 'Big Bertha'.

Just FWIW, odds are I won't be entering this contest. The story's just not ready. If the proposed extended voting time was in effect, I might give it a shot. I'll still submit the story before long, probably.

What we got, in addition to Tanya's bagels and doughnuts, is: coffee, hot water for tea and hot chocolate, beer (sorta), wine (kinda), and our usual lineup of fine lickers. So whadda ya literary loonies want to drink?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 15 Nov 2017 08:12

Greetings, to all who enter the true spirit of 'Hump Day'.

Al, congrats on getting a part and condolences on losing, Pete. Glad to heare you're getting another. Have you considered naming him, 'Repeat' or maybe, 'Re-Pete'? Just wondering while wandering through the realm of bad taste.

Larry, keep on keeping on your quest for yet more Lush glory.

Lilly, hate to hear about that headache of yours. Sounds like it might be sinus-related. I've had them since at least my high school days so I 'feels' your pain.

Apt, you are the perfect antidote for the mullygrubs.

Now 'Big Bertha' is ready to put out her brand of hot steaming...coffee. She'll also provide hot water for our tea sippers or hot chocolate devotees. For those needing something a bit more 'robust' there's our selection of flat beers, sour wines and a collection of fine lickers. So whadda ya mid-week malcontents have to drink?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 15 Nov 2017 08:11

Greetings, to all who enter the true spirit of 'Hump Day'.

Al, congrats on getting a part and condolences on losing, Pete. Glad to heare you're getting another. Have you considered naming him, 'Repeat' or maybe, 'Re-Pete'? Just wondering while wandering through the realm of bad taste.

Larry, keep on keeping on your quest for yet more Lush glory.

Lilly, hate to hear about that headache of yours. Sounds like it might be sinus-related. I've had them since at least my high school days so I 'feels' your pain.

Apt, you are the perfect antidote for the mullygrubs.

Now 'Big Bertha' is ready to put out her brand of hot steaming...coffee. She'll also provide hot water for our tea sippers or hot chocolate devotees. For those needing something a bit more 'robust' there's our selection of flat beers, sour wines and a collection of fine lickers. So whadda ya mid-week malcontents have to drink?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 14 Nov 2017 20:33

As the curtain falls on Tuesday, it occurs to me that this day will never come again... with any luck.

So are there any orders for nightcaps or, in the case of our ANZACs, 'let it all hang out' after Wednesday workday type drinks?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

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Stories Published By RumpleForeskin All Stories »

Editor's Pick A Bookish Love Story

  The dream had returned--so had the eyes. They hovered in an angry sky just above the horizon, seeing everything but focusing on nothing. Amy knew those eyes—knew a time when they’d been filled with happiness and a love of life. But that had been before her brother came back from Vietnam. Young, naked, and skinny, she stood alone and vulnerable on a hill surrounded by flames where...

Added 02 Oct 2017 | Category Love Stories | Votes 23 | Avg Score 5 | Views 3,136 | 25 Comments

A Really Good Mood

With a spray of gravel, the ’66 Chevelle Super Sport sped away from the American Legion parking lot, raced down a narrow, blacktop access road, then slowed imperceptibly before making a tire-squealing right onto the main highway. The car quickly accelerated until it was speeding through the muggy, North Louisiana night. The cherry-red Chevy was always speeding — the only question being by...

Added 12 Jun 2017 | Category Seduction | Votes 21 | Avg Score 5 | Views 5,521 | 17 Comments

Adieu, Alan

His candle burned at both ends, It could not last the night.   But readers and friends all agree, It gave such a marvelous...

Added 26 Mar 2017 | Category Love Poems | Votes 31 | Avg Score 4.79 | Views 536 | 28 Comments

Served Just Right

  They were young, restless, and bored beyond depression. The two nursing students had been in Gwen’s cramped, single-person, dorm room since coming back from supper, smoking and joking, talking about school, men, and life while playing Beatles LP’s, keeping the incense burner going, and steadily draining the bottle of bourbon Mark had left, "for safe keeping," before flying home for a...

Added 09 Feb 2017 | Category Lesbian | Votes 12 | Avg Score 4.92 | Views 7,273 | 7 Comments

A Parting Gift To Remember

From her position draped over the back of an old, stuffed armchair, Lynn felt the fresh load of cum oozing out of her throbbing pussy, working its way through matted pubic hairs, then sliding down trembling inner thighs until it dripped onto the floor.  The thick cream felt cool on her hot, flushed, skin.  With Bob’s help, she struggled to her feet, turned around and hugged him. It had been...

Added 23 Dec 2016 | Category Flash Erotica | Votes 20 | Avg Score 5 | Views 2,843 | 15 Comments

What Are Friends For?

She blew in like a pissed off F5 tornado, shouted, "Don't say a fucking thing,” slammed the door shut,and slung her purse across the room. It ricocheted away from my butt-weary couch, cleared off the end table, then teetered briefly at the edge before following the displaced debris onto the floor. Only the reading lamp survived, leaning drunkenly against the wall, shade tilted at a...

Added 20 Aug 2016 | Category Love Stories | Votes 14 | Avg Score 5 | Views 4,432 | 11 Comments

Afternoon Aftermath

For Cindy Davis, it had been a weekend of unbelievable firsts. She had just spent two nights in a mid-town hotel room making almost constant love with Ray, a man she barely knew. Of course, it had been a once-in-a-lifetime experience, no doubt about that. He’d been alone, a long way from home and had needed her. Still, it marked the first time she’d ever cheated on her fiance', which...

Added 21 Apr 2016 | Category Reluctance | Votes 17 | Avg Score 4.88 | Views 10,682 | 8 Comments

Treats First then the Trick

It was a fantastic fuck. Randi Druitt's sex-charged body writhed and shuddered. A large, powerfully built man lay between her widespread legs. With deep, fluid strokes, he pumped his demanding cock in and out of her very willing pussy. Each thrust left her gasping with passion and wanting more. The freckle-faced redhead lay nude on the backseat of an old Buick, parked on the far side of a...

Added 21 Oct 2015 | Category Cheating | Votes 12 | Avg Score 5 | Views 7,238 | 7 Comments

Of Love and War and Donna Lynn

It was another turbulent day in the summer of 68. Student protests raged from the Sorbonne to Berkeley. In the US, civil rights demonstrations and anti-war rallies were turning violent. Martin Luther King was dead; Bobby Kennedy would be soon. In South Vietnam, hundreds of other Americans were being killed each month. Soldiers patrolled the streets of Saigon, Paris, and Washington while...

Added 31 Aug 2015 | Category Historical | Votes 17 | Avg Score 4.94 | Views 2,232 | 15 Comments

Recommended Read Getting A Lot Of What She Wants

The thick, glistening shaft slipped from Cindy’s mouth like a long, sexy serpent. When the swollen cockhead came into view, she lapped at its smooth surface while glancing up at her husband.     Ray’s big, nude body was sprawled comfortably on their living room couch. Curly blonde hair cushioned his head against the wall. Those blue eyes she adored so much were shut. His lips were parted....

Added 28 Sep 2015 | Category Fetish | Votes 15 | Avg Score 5 | Views 6,665 | 17 Comments

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14 Oct 2017 17:47

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Thanks for accepting my friendship request.

A fine addition to your bar I think.
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Thanks for the add!
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Thanks for the add, Mate. I hope you're having an awesome weekend. All the best.
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I am honored to be your friend.
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