About RumpleForeskin

Biography

Just your typical run down, beaten down, slapped down, broken down, shot down, hung down, put down, and kicked around old blind porn writer who's been beaten up, tied up, chewed up, blown up, hung up, screwed up, messed up, held up, and told to shut the fuck up.

Name:
Rumple Foreskin
Sex:
Male 
Age:
70
Sign:
Pisces
Relationship Status:
Married
Orientation:
Straight
Location:
Lost in the desert west of Tombstone, AZ , Arizona, United States
Local Time:
16 Jan 2018 07:55
Interests:
recreational sex, writing about sex, thinking about sex, reading about sex, etc.
Favorite Books:
Those written by: William Faulkner Ernest Hemingway John Steinbeck Walter Mosley Alan Furst Elmore Leonard Raymond Chandler P.G. Wodehouse George MacDonald Fraser Kinky Friedman Flannery O'Connor Eudora Welty Walker Percy among others
Favorite Movies:
Primarily comedies: A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum It's A Mad Mad Mad Mad World Dr. Strangelove Support Your Local Sheriff/Gunfighter The Blues Brothers plus the films of: The Marx Brothers W.C. Fields Woody Allen Mel Brooks
Favorite Music:
Almost anything with the exception of: rap, polka, and a-tonal
Website:

Statistics

Date Joined:
03 Jul 2009
Last Visit:
16 Jan 2018 (44 minutes ago)
Page Viewed:
29,938 times
Friends:
76
Followers:
78
Days in Chat:
0
Days on Site:
30+
Forum Posts:
4,476
Stories:
36
Badges:
16

Latest Forum Posts More forum posts »

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 16 Jan 2018 04:47

Morning, y'all.

Tanya, here's your tea. Enjoy and come back for a refill when you finish waking up. BTW, for a new handle, you may have already thought about and then no doubt decided against these two ideas, but here they are anyway: 'That Jersey Girl' and 'The Jersey Girl'. Just a couple thoughts which pretty much exhausts my quota for the week...okay, make that, month.



There's about two weeks before the deadline for entering the 'Change' contest is upon us. At the moment, there appears to be, more or less, something like 26 entrants.

Big Bertha is calling me for my second cup of coffee and claims to have the water nice and hot for Tanya's tea refill. So whadda the rest of you 'Changeless' contest competitors wanna drink?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 15 Jan 2018 08:13

Scott, been meaning to pass this along but, believe it or not, it kept slipping my mind. Everytime I read this in your sig, it cracks me up: A Christmas story about love, giving, and anal sex. :)
And for your reward, here's you a potent BM at the regular price.

And speaking of anal, Ping, I'm trying to figure out how to say this with sensitivity so your little feelings don't get bruised, but facts is facts and the fact is, female dogs do scoot, but only if their anal glands need to be expressed. That also applies to male dogs but who wants to quibble? ;)

To ease your anal gland angst, here's your coffee complete with a double-shjot of BBB.

Pedantically yours, <img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 15 Jan 2018 05:16

Greetings and condolences. It's another Monday Moaning. Sorry about that.

Pat, here's your coffee. Hope by now all those tests on your Tom have finished with positive results. Please keep us posted.

Over on this side of the pond, US politics have been reduced to a disagreement over whether the President referred to Haiti and certain Afrrican countries as, 'shit holes' or 'shit houses'. Just for the record, I didn't vote for him, have never supported him, and been apalled by many of the things he's done. To that list must now be added, but have felt embarrassed...and worried.

Of course, my Saints getting knocked out of the NFL playoffs on a 62 yard TD pass with 10 seconds left in the game has not had a positive impact on my disposition... not one little bit. :(

Now, in my somewhat less than humble opinion, it's time to hunker down and get about the business of drinking and carousing. Big Bertha is ready to put out her hot stuff, there's hot water for the tea and coco crowds, beer-like fluids, more or less real wines, and our usual assortment of fine lickers. Today's 'one for the price of two special' is Bloody Marys made with Verisimilitude Vodka, the vengeance of Valdosta, Ga. So whadda ya Monday moaners wanna drink?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">.

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 14 Jan 2018 16:22

G-Man, judging by your last post and its mention of a threesome with Emily and Wild on the bar while you're swigging down some high-toned hooch, you've succumbed completely to the allure of fantasy fiction. ;)

However, to reward your posting two micros stories over on, Sacre Bleu, I'll dust off our only snifter and pour in a double-shot of Beaver Breath Brandy.

So whadda the rest of you worn-out weekend party animals wanna drink?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 14 Jan 2018 09:03

Best I recall, at least three mugs of coffee are on order along with a 'Jen's Jolter' for, Pat. Not sure what Emily, our Wild Thing and her spriteness want, other than Emily, Pretty Wild and Sprite, that is.

Any more calls for alcohol?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 14 Jan 2018 03:55

Greetings. It's after four A.M. out here in the desert and...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghFBvBmXv4E

There's something of a writing challenge going on over on, Sacre Bleu, (aka, Story Space). It's unplanned,unregulated, neither authorized nor sanctioned, and has a 100 word limit. So far, there are three entries which should, imo, be read in sequence to best appreciate the sublime charms of the stories.

Anna May Zing, wrote the first one, 'Home Late'.
http://www.storiesspace.com/stories/micro-fiction/home-late.aspx

Ping jumped in with number two, cleverly title, Home Late 2. (just scroll up a bit to find it)

Kind of Heart made the latest contribution, 'What Was She Doing?' (keep scrolling up to find that gem).

The storyline concerns the misadventures of a certain mature lady who is unaware she's sitting buck nekkid on the upper deck of a London bus.

Anyway, go check it out, make a contribution if you're so inclined, and then come back for a drink and join in the cogitation on starting something like that over here.

And speaking of drinking, yeah it's early out here west of Tombstone, but the time is always right for drinking in Lushland. So whether ya need a mug of Big Bertha's remarkable coffee, hot water for tea or coco, some of our skumky beer, wonky wine or a selection from among our fine lickers, whadda ya porntificating pen-pushers wanna drink?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: What are you reading?
Posted: 13 Jan 2018 05:55

"Fire and Fury" by Michael Wolf The controversial, best-selling book about the Trump White House. Strongly recommended.

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 13 Jan 2018 04:57

Congratulations! You made it to the weekend. Right?

Phil! Where ya been, Hoss? For the record, 110f is considered hot even out here in the desert. What about a cold quart bottle of, Big Belcher's Beer' to ease your thirst?

Pat, congrats on finishing that contest entry. What about a JJ to celebrate? Oh, you already ordered one? Well, ya ready for a refill?

Ping, loved your innovative restaurant idea. Only problem was two food inspectors and a food critic keeled over in a dead faint when told it might happen. That was okay by me. It was the reaction of the local sanitation crew (garbage collectors) that struck me as a tad overblown.

But sign me up for that Nina Simone tour. My fav of her's is, "Young, Gifted, and Black' though I'm none of those. (sigh)

Here's your fancy rum drink with whatever we happened to have of whatever it was you wanted in the thing. Enjoy.

What about the rest of you prolific porn producers and/or readers? Whadda ya wanna drink?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 12 Jan 2018 18:45

On my 'puter, Pat's last post was the first one on page 905. For the edification through elucidation of late arriving Rumplators, here's copy of the contest entry list Hannah (aka Brown Coffee laid on us back on page 904.
note: these links don't work, part of the copy protection scheme, I suppose. The ones on her original post whill, on the other hand, do you just right. And before you ask, NO, I wasn't even tempted to replace all these with all those.

xxx

Hannah wrote:
ALREADY ENTERED

ShamelessFlirt https://
RumpleForeskin https://
coryA https://
Ping https://
CoyotlMittens https://

DEFINITELY ENTERING

Verbal
Sprite
GreenMan
seeker4

SHOULD ENTER (c'mon you guys! if you're not entering, i wanna know why. 2,000 word essay minimum on why you feel entitled to let me down so brutally.)

PhilU
Denim_Daisy10
Buz
Jen
Patokl
TonyaL
fuzzy1954
patokl
Adagio
LYFBUZ
elliotlacey31
Herateleia
Banes1
elizabethblack
MileHighWriter
prettywild
SuccubusDreams

Gillianleeeza doesn't have to write any essay just because Big Hugs

NOTE

curvygalore is hereby deemed to be exempt since her computer isn't working but i would beMORE than happy to type up her entry if she wrote it longhand. just sayin'. angel7


Maybe it's just me, but that 'Gal cracking a whip' image might be more appropriate for Hannah, at least when she's into her Tracy Flick non-Angelic, mode. Just a thought.

Pat, here's ya another, JJ. Drink it in good health. So, what's the deal? Are the rest of you wascally witers gonna make Pat drink alone?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 12 Jan 2018 17:32

Just so y'all know, according to my never faithful Lush new thread post notification via email system, none of you who posted in the last few hours, well, your posts, and I suppose by extension, you, exist no more, at least not for the time being. Sorry about that or maybe congrats.

Got a lot of orders for hot tea and coffee plus Jen's Jolters. since a JJ is a hot rum toddy using 151 proof rum, I'm wondering if Ping would be agreeable to sharing some of his hot rum toddy mix for the next round?

BTW, the entry of Cory could use a few more votes. He's a newbie and his story sort of slipped in with little fanfair then got bushwacked by all the site interruptions.

Now anybody else out there need a TGIF type drink?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

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Stories Published By RumpleForeskin All Stories »

Terri's Transformation

The nice, young, married, nurse had never made love at work, or with a black man, or been unfaithful to her husband, but all that had changed. Terri Cummings was doing all three at once and loving every illicit, carnal first-time moment. Waves of ecstasy surged through her writhing body as the powerfully built man between her widespread legs hammered his demanding cock in and out of her...

Added 09 Jan 2018 | Category Uniform

Feels So Right, It Can't Be Wrong: chapter 4

Kelly Layton glanced out at the dreary, post-blizzard landscape. Just looking at it made her feel cold. That alone would have been enough to keep her indoors, but she had one more special reason. A sudden wave of ecstasy rippled across her nude body and she quivered with delight. Moving her gaze away from the outside world, she smiled and watched the familiar blonde head bobbing between...

Added 09 Dec 2017 | Category Taboo | Votes 7 | Avg Score 4.86 | Views 4,041 | 5 Comments

Editor's Pick A Bookish Love Story

  The dream had returned--so had the eyes. They hovered in an angry sky just above the horizon, seeing everything but focusing on nothing. Amy knew those eyes—knew a time when they’d been filled with happiness and a love of life. But that had been before her brother came back from Vietnam. Young, naked, and skinny, she stood alone and vulnerable on a hill surrounded by flames where...

Added 02 Oct 2017 | Category Love Stories | Votes 24 | Avg Score 5 | Views 5,202 | 26 Comments

A Really Good Mood

With a spray of gravel, the ’66 Chevelle Super Sport sped away from the American Legion parking lot, raced down a narrow, blacktop access road, then slowed imperceptibly before making a tire-squealing right onto the main highway. The car quickly accelerated until it was speeding through the muggy, North Louisiana night. The cherry-red Chevy was always speeding — the only question being by...

Added 12 Jun 2017 | Category Seduction | Votes 21 | Avg Score 5 | Views 5,765 | 17 Comments

Adieu, Alan

His candle burned at both ends, It could not last the night.   But readers and friends all agree, It gave such a marvelous...

Added 26 Mar 2017 | Category Love Poems | Votes 30 | Avg Score 4.79 | Views 603 | 27 Comments

Served Just Right

  They were young, restless, and bored beyond depression. The two nursing students had been in Gwen’s cramped, single-person, dorm room since coming back from supper, smoking and joking, talking about school, men, and life while playing Beatles LP’s, keeping the incense burner going, and steadily draining the bottle of bourbon Mark had left, "for safe keeping," before flying home for a...

Added 09 Feb 2017 | Category Lesbian | Votes 12 | Avg Score 4.92 | Views 7,461 | 7 Comments

A Parting Gift To Remember

From her position draped over the back of an old, stuffed armchair, Lynn felt the fresh load of cum oozing out of her throbbing pussy, working its way through matted pubic hairs, then sliding down trembling inner thighs until it dripped onto the floor.  The thick cream felt cool on her hot, flushed, skin.  With Bob’s help, she struggled to her feet, turned around and hugged him. It had been...

Added 23 Dec 2016 | Category Flash Erotica | Votes 18 | Avg Score 4.94 | Views 2,953 | 14 Comments

What Are Friends For?

She blew in like a pissed off F5 tornado, shouted, "Don't say a fucking thing,” slammed the door shut,and slung her purse across the room. It ricocheted away from my butt-weary couch, cleared off the end table, then teetered briefly at the edge before following the displaced debris onto the floor. Only the reading lamp survived, leaning drunkenly against the wall, shade tilted at a...

Added 20 Aug 2016 | Category Love Stories | Votes 14 | Avg Score 5 | Views 4,701 | 11 Comments

Afternoon Aftermath

For Cindy Davis, it had been a weekend of unbelievable firsts. She had just spent two nights in a mid-town hotel room making almost constant love with Ray, a man she barely knew. Of course, it had been a once-in-a-lifetime experience, no doubt about that. He’d been alone, a long way from home and had needed her. Still, it marked the first time she’d ever cheated on her fiance', which...

Added 21 Apr 2016 | Category Reluctance | Votes 17 | Avg Score 4.88 | Views 10,930 | 8 Comments

Treats First then the Trick

It was a fantastic fuck. Randi Druitt's sex-charged body writhed and shuddered. A large, powerfully built man lay between her widespread legs. With deep, fluid strokes, he pumped his demanding cock in and out of her very willing pussy. Each thrust left her gasping with passion and wanting more. The freckle-faced redhead lay nude on the backseat of an old Buick, parked on the far side of a...

Added 21 Oct 2015 | Category Cheating | Votes 12 | Avg Score 5 | Views 7,348 | 7 Comments

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Merry Christmas, Rumpy!

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