About RumpleForeskin

Biography

Just your typical run down, beaten down, slapped down, broken down, shot down, hung down, put down, and kicked around old blind porn writer who's been beaten up, tied up, chewed up, blown up, hung up, screwed up, messed up, held up, and told to shut the fuck up.

Name:
Rumple Foreskin
Sex:
Male 
Age:
69
Sign:
Pisces
Relationship Status:
Married
Orientation:
Straight
Location:
Lost in the desert west of Apache Junction, USA , Arizona, United States
Local Time:
19 Feb 2017 15:53
Interests:
recreational sex, writing about sex, thinking about sex, reading about sex, etc.
Favorite Books:
Those written by: William Faulkner Ernest Hemingway John Steinbeck Walter Mosley Alan Furst Elmore Leonard Raymond Chandler P.G. Wodehouse George MacDonald Fraser Kinky Friedman Flannery O'Connor Eudora Welty Walker Percy among others
Favorite Movies:
Primarily comedies: A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum It's A Mad Mad Mad Mad World Dr. Strangelove Support Your Local Sheriff/Gunfighter The Blues Brothers plus the films of: The Marx Brothers W.C. Fields Woody Allen Mel Brooks
Favorite Music:
Almost anything with the exception of: rap, polka, and a-tonal
Website:

Statistics

Date Joined:
03 Jul 2009
Last Visit:
19 Feb 2017 (5 hours ago)
Page Viewed:
26,597 times
Friends:
61
Followers:
67
Days in Chat:
0
Days on Site:
30+
Forum Posts:
3,529
Stories:
31
Badges:
14

Latest Forum Posts More forum posts »

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 19 Feb 2017 10:52

Happy ZEALANDIA Day!

It is a truth, never before acknowledge, that Rumplations has acquired a customer from a hitherto unknown land. She isn't a new customer, quite the contrary, but her place of origin has expanded.

The subject of this fulsome foolishness is, of course, Laura, aka Zea Lady from Zealandia.

For the geographically challenged among us, Zealandia is our planet's newest continent. No one noticed it before on account as how most of it is under water. The only parts above the surface are: New Zealand and New Caladonia.

The thing is, like, you know, it's still over a week until Mardi Gras Day, but it's not every year we can combine that with the discovery of a new continent. So whadda ya say we let the good time begin to roll!

Now, what'll y'all have to drink?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: Competition Entries should be SOLO efforts
Posted: 19 Feb 2017 09:37

It may just be me, probably is, but getting to the audio versions of stories seems a bit complicated. If possible, turning the 'audio version available' notice into a link to the audio main page might help guide newbies and those with little sense of direction to the listing. Just a thought.

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: Your favourite story title?
Posted: 19 Feb 2017 09:25

While we're 'dog-piling' on StormDog, so to speak, I'll add his, "Big Dick's Trucking Service, Inc." to the list.

As for lil' moi, any of the titles on my sig line would do with the second one being just a bit 'more equal' than the others.

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">.

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 18 Feb 2017 10:22

(slides a frosty flagon, or something sort of resembling one, of 'Bottom of the Barrel' beer over to Emerson) Big E, what you now have before you is...let's just say, very interesting. Enjoy.

And speaking of, enjoying, that just what I did while reading your entry. BTW, don't feel shy about posting links here to any of your stories, especially new ones. By now, it should be obvious this joint ain't got no standards, so link your brains out.

Any more calls for alcohol?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 18 Feb 2017 08:38

Greetings, tellers of torrid tales.

First things first. (slides a 'Hannah' over to Hannah and a 'Bottom of the Barrel' beer to Mike)

Okay, now what's all this about an entry from the Mike-unit? I mean, whatever happened to those old-fashioned virtues of sloth, procrastination? not to mention lack of imagination?

As for other 'good' entries, I'd suggest those of our own Brown Coffee (Security)Storm Dog (Queen of the Road) and Emerson's which is so new I haven't read it yet nor can I recall the title, so there.

Anybody else need a drink around here?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: Pelacanos on Writing
Posted: 18 Feb 2017 03:01

Thought some might enjoy reading this perspective on writing by crime novelist, George Pelecanos..

“Either you want to tell a story or you don’t. Do you want to draw attention to yourself and your own writing and your beautiful style or do you want to be invisible and let the story and the characters take over for the reader. That’s what it comes down to for me."

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 16 Feb 2017 19:33

I'll have you two know that Brother Noah is a man for all season, a great American and, apparently, a total horn-dog.

Laura, here's your 'Hannah'. Big E, you sure you're up to a 'Dirty Martini'? The Rumplations' version uses our very own private lable ingrediants, including, 'Gunga Gin'.

Any more orders before I listen to a re-run of the Trump press conference. I just luv, Unreality TV.

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 16 Feb 2017 11:43

** NEWS FLASH!! **

Rumplation's Endorses for Governor...

Noah Dyer (D) announced he’s running for Arizona governor by oversharing details of his life in a way most politicians’ would not dare.

From his official biography:


Noah has had both deep and casual sexual experiences with all kinds of women. He is an advocate of open relationships. He has sent and received intimate texts and pictures, and occasionally recorded video during sex. Noah has always been forthright with his partners, seeking the same in return. All of his relationships have been legal and consensual, never coercive, or abusive, and he condemns such behavior. Noah is unapologetic about his sexual choices, and wishes others the same.


As a once and forever supporter of 'Kinky Friedman's valiant, if failed, bid for Governor of Texas, I can state, unequivocally, that the management and staff of Rumplation's believe Brother Noah is just what every state needs.

Remember, get your drinks here, then vote early and vote often.

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 16 Feb 2017 11:19

Afternoon, sex fiction fans and fiends.

(slides a Hannah over to Lilly) Here you go, young lady.

As for older stories of mine, the first two on my sig line are getting pretty long in the tooth. If you've never read: "Hardcandy" by Dancing Doll, "Jennifer's Eggnog" by Jaymal, and "Blondie and the Black Knight" by Sprite, I'd strongly suggest you do so, ASAP.

Emerson, you need a refill on your, Hannah, or are you ready for something with a bit more zest?

I'll now make my way to the main page to enrich what passes for my mind with Big E's contest entry.

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 16 Feb 2017 08:12

Morning, Big E. Nothing that mysterious about a 'Hannah'. It's essentially just a customized, Monoco. The base recipe calls for grenadine, beer, and some clear, sparkiling beverage such as: ginger ale, club soda and 7-Up.There are a whole hosts of variations including replacing the beer with vodka or just omitting the alcohol altogether for those on the wagon. The Rumplations variant was dubbed the, "hannah' and has been well received, especially by certain ladies who are, I suppose, trying to stay semi-sober at least until after sunset and/or they finish writing for the day.

You wanna give one a try?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">.

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Stories Published By RumpleForeskin All Stories »

Served Just Right

  They were young, restless, and bored beyond depression. The two nursing students had been in Gwen’s cramped, single-person, dorm room since coming back from supper, smoking and joking, talking about school, men, and life while playing Beatles LP’s, keeping the incense burner going, and steadily draining the bottle of bourbon Mark had left, "for safe keeping," before flying home for a...

Added 09 Feb 2017 | Category Lesbian | Votes 13 | Avg Score 4.92 | Views 3,800 | 9 Comments

A Parting Gift To Remember

From her position draped over the back of an old, stuffed armchair, Lynn felt the fresh load of cum oozing out of her throbbing pussy, working its way through matted pubic hairs, then sliding down trembling inner thighs until it dripped onto the floor.  The thick cream felt cool on her hot, flushed, skin.  With Bob’s help, she struggled to her feet, turned around and hugged him. It had been...

Added 23 Dec 2016 | Category Flash Erotica | Votes 22 | Avg Score 5 | Views 2,146 | 18 Comments

What Are Friends For?

She blew in like a pissed off F5 tornado, shouted, "Don't say a fucking thing,” slammed the door shut,and slung her purse across the room. It ricocheted away from my butt-weary couch, cleared off the end table, then teetered briefly at the edge before following the displaced debris onto the floor. Only the reading lamp survived, leaning drunkenly against the wall, shade tilted at a...

Added 20 Aug 2016 | Category Love Stories | Votes 15 | Avg Score 5 | Views 3,560 | 13 Comments

Afternoon Aftermath

For Cindy Davis, it had been a weekend of unbelievable firsts. She had just spent two nights in a mid-town hotel room making almost constant love with Ray, a man she barely knew. Of course, it had been a once-in-a-lifetime experience, no doubt about that. He’d been alone, a long way from home and had needed her. Still, it marked the first time she’d ever cheated on her fiance', which...

Added 21 Apr 2016 | Category Reluctance | Votes 17 | Avg Score 4.88 | Views 9,509 | 10 Comments

Treats First then the Trick

It was a fantastic fuck. Randi Druitt's sex-charged body writhed and shuddered. A large, powerfully built man lay between her widespread legs. With deep, fluid strokes, he pumped his demanding cock in and out of her very willing pussy. Each thrust left her gasping with passion and wanting more. The freckle-faced redhead lay nude on the backseat of an old Buick, parked on the far side of a...

Added 21 Oct 2015 | Category Cheating | Votes 11 | Avg Score 5 | Views 6,793 | 7 Comments

Recommended Read Getting A Lot Of What She Wants

The thick, glistening shaft slipped from Cindy’s mouth like a long, sexy serpent. When the swollen cockhead came into view, she lapped at its smooth surface while glancing up at her husband. Ray’s big, nude body was sprawled comfortably on their living room couch. Curly blonde hair cushioned his head against the wall. Those blue eyes she adored so much were shut. His lips were parted. It...

Added 28 Sep 2015 | Category Fetish | Votes 14 | Avg Score 5 | Views 5,967 | 15 Comments

Of Love and War and Donna Lynn

It was another turbulent day in the summer of 68. Student protests raged from the Sorbonne to Berkeley. In the US, civil rights demonstrations and anti-war rallies were turning violent. Martin Luther King was dead; Bobby Kennedy would be soon. In South Vietnam, hundreds of other Americans were being killed each month. Soldiers patrolled the streets of Saigon, Paris, and Washington while...

Added 31 Aug 2015 | Category Historical | Votes 18 | Avg Score 4.83 | Views 1,736 | 17 Comments

A Different Sort of Cramming

Textbooks and study notes showered down from the bouncing mattress of a venerable four-poster bed as a long, thick, column of rigid flesh kept up a steady rhythm of lust and need, surging back and forth past stretched, slightly irritated pussy lips that clutch tightly around the unyielding shaft relentlessly cramming its engorged cock head into the inner most depths of a wet, stuffed...

Added 27 Aug 2015 | Category Quickie Sex | Votes 7 | Avg Score 5 | Views 8,156 | 5 Comments

Feels So Right It Can’t Be Wrong: chapter 3

Kelly woke in her stepbrother’s bed cuddled next to his nude body. The sheet barely covered his morning erection. She thought about teasing him awake, it struck her as the big-sisterly thing to do, but then rolled onto her back, stretched, and immediately dozed off and slipped into yet another rerun of her dreams. Like most of those she’d had recently, they involved sex. Unlike the...

Added 30 Jun 2014 | Category Taboo | Votes 16 | Avg Score 5 | Views 22,088 | 9 Comments

Feels So Right, It Can’t Be Wrong: Chapter 2

After a lot of poking, prodding, and teasing, the stepsiblings managed to disentangle and get off Jason’s bed. Before he could pull Kelly out of the room, however, she noticed the sheets. “Whoa. Halt. Stop. Sorry, but those sheets have got to go.” Jason protested but she remained adamant as only a somewhat fastidious big sister can be and began stripping the bed. Perhaps it was seeing her...

Added 27 Jun 2014 | Category Taboo | Votes 12 | Avg Score 4.92 | Views 21,609 | 6 Comments

Image Gallery

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Video Gallery

6 Videos

Friends Comments

browncoffee
Posted: 01 Feb 2017 13:53

HeraTeleia
Posted: 09 Jan 2017 20:52
Thank you for the add, love!


Milik_the_Red
Posted: 31 Dec 2016 13:30

Buz
Posted: 23 Dec 2016 14:50
Merry Christmas, Rumpy!


ChuckEPoo
Posted: 05 Oct 2016 10:59
Thanks for adding me.
elizabethblack
Posted: 05 Oct 2016 09:50
Just saw this and knew you had to have it:

elizabethblack
Posted: 26 Aug 2016 17:33
elizabethblack
Posted: 02 Jul 2016 20:08

WellMadeMale
Posted: 31 May 2016 14:47
Your honky tonk can use an upgrade, chief...


Gillianleeeza
Posted: 13 May 2016 15:03
I never thought of making them into necklaces. I'll have to give it a try.
elizabethblack
Posted: 16 Apr 2016 20:44

Gillianleeeza
Posted: 09 Apr 2016 17:41
Waiting for my drink and more umbrellas.

Milik_the_Red
Posted: 26 Mar 2016 22:43
elizabethblack
Posted: 26 Mar 2016 20:29
Happy Easter and Congratulations, but keep those tears dried away

Gillianleeeza
Posted: 25 Mar 2016 21:29
I'm pretty sure she'd win the contest. I'll just keep drinking.

Gillianleeeza
Posted: 21 Mar 2016 17:02
Can't decide if I should go out back to the dumpster. I think I'll drink inside for awhile.
Lush
Posted: 17 Mar 2016 00:20
Happy Birthday from the Lush team.

biggym
Posted: 16 Mar 2016 17:13
Happy Happy Birthday!!! Know it will be a naughty day. Stay naked and hard. Enjoy.

Buz
Posted: 02 Mar 2016 20:16
elizabethblack
Posted: 14 Feb 2016 19:37
Have a great Valentine weekend
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