About RumpleForeskin

Biography

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Just your typical run down, beaten down, slapped down, broken down, shot down, hung down, put down, and kicked around old blind porn writer who's been beaten up, tied up, chewed up, blown up, hung up, screwed up, messed up, held up, and told to shut the fuck up.

Name:
Rumple Foreskin
Sex:
Male 
Age:
71
Sign:
Pisces
Relationship Status:
Married
Orientation:
Straight
Location:
Lost in the desert west of Tombstone, AZ , Arizona, United States
Local Time:
25 May 2018 11:54
Interests:
recreational sex, writing about sex, thinking about sex, reading about sex, etc.
Favorite Books:
Those written by: William Faulkner Ernest Hemingway John Steinbeck Walter Mosley Alan Furst Elmore Leonard Raymond Chandler P.G. Wodehouse George MacDonald Fraser Kinky Friedman Flannery O'Connor Eudora Welty Walker Percy among others
Favorite Movies:
Primarily comedies: A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum It's A Mad Mad Mad Mad World Dr. Strangelove Support Your Local Sheriff/Gunfighter The Blues Brothers plus the films of: The Marx Brothers W.C. Fields Woody Allen Mel Brooks
Favorite Music:
Almost anything with the exception of: rap, polka, and a-tonal
Website:

Statistics

Date Joined:
03 Jul 2009
Last Visit:
25 May 2018 (1 hour ago)
Page Viewed:
31,330 times
Friends:
81
Followers:
82
Days in Chat:
0
Days on Site:
30+
Forum Posts:
4,884
Stories:
36
Badges:
16

Latest Forum Posts More forum posts »

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 25 May 2018 10:55

Jeff, he wrote: Guess I need to work on my köffee making skills. :)
Me, I wrote: Not unless you're performing an autopsy. Otherwise, a quick burial in a shallow grave would, imo, be best.

<img src="/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8"> ;) .

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 25 May 2018 09:21

TGIF greetings to all who enter.

That Jeff is such a clown. Imagine putting a coffee can full of dirt into poor Big Bertha. Of course, it bid the old presto-change-o routine and dissolved then turned into mud which clogged all her tubing, faucets and other vital stuff.

Not to worry. Borrowed Jim's steam cleaner (the one he reportedly took with him when he left the Navy) used it on her to good effect and she's now just burbling and chugging right along.
BTW, I saved some of that muddy bottom settlement for Jim and anyone else interested in sampling the amalgamation. Tawny took the rest to her cousin, Dewayne, to use as pot-ing soil.

BTW #2: It is now officially 100 days until the kickoff of LSU's first game of the college football season. Celebrate accordingly.

Fuzzy, sorry about the wait. Here's your coffee. Let me know if you want the refill to include a shot or two of Jameson. Jeff, this mug's for you. ;)

Now whadda the rest of ya sorry excuses for degenerate party animals wanna drink?

<img src="/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 24 May 2018 21:32

Evening, Amelia. A 'Gorilla Killah' is a rum and Coke made with very little Coke and 151 proof rum. There is a 'Jen's Jolter' which is the same but done up as a hot rum toddy. If you like I'll add a couple fingers of Crown Royal straight as your chaser.

Scott and Sara, best I recall, you two wanted, Tailgaters'. Sure hope so 'cause that's what's coming right up.

It might be a bit late for Jim's coffee. But if he comes in, please tell him his is the mug flanked by a knife and fork. It's just a tad chewy.

Anybody else feel the need for 'just one more'?

<img src="/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 24 May 2018 15:17

What we have is a lot of orders. That's not to be confused with a lot of order. Okay, here we go: ITM gets hot chocolate, Jim likes it hot as well, but coffee instead of coco, Gill has a Hannah witt a forest of cocktail umbrellas heading her way, Curvy craves a beer, Sara feels the same about sweet iced tea while Fuzzy is trying to lure her to Kansas with the offer of a 'real' beer.

BTW, is it just me, or has anyone else begun to worry about the way Carl has been 'speaking in tongues' the last few days? If he starts handling snakes or offering to wash your feet just back away very, very slowly while continuing to smile....unless you really like snakes or have incredibly dirty feet.

Now who else out there longs for a fine licker?

<img src="/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 24 May 2018 09:55

LYF! Glad to have you back amongst us. The viscosity of Big Bertha's effusions varies depending on the time of day and who gets her cranking. I'm prone to using dark roast Louisiana coffee which is practically the same as expresso except it's not served with a lemon peel...well, not intentionally. By the end of the day, her coffee has been 'rendered down' to a form so thick and strong, even Jim, a Navy vet, finds it palatable. Now after all that, ya wanna join Larry and try a mug of the stuff?

And speaking of Larry, here's your mug of Big Bertha's goodness. Thanks for asking about 'dabs'. Once was a time when slang seemed to start on the US west coast. Nowadays, it appears to be England. Hannah and her countrywomen have their hands full, so to speak, trying to keep some of we 'ripe in years' Rumplators up to speed with 21st century lingo.

Now anybody else wanna drink?

<img src="/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 24 May 2018 08:33

All hail the now heading for the Stanley Cup finals, mighty WASHINGTON CAPITALS!

Greetings to all who celebrate last night's, game seven win (4-3) by the long-suffering Capitals over the Tampa @ Bay Lightening.

Fuzzy's been waiting patiently for his morning coffee (sorry about that, Carl) but Big Bertha is now ready, able, and more than willing to put out her hot, wet love in the form of coffee so good you'll almost forgive the unusually slow service, hopefully.

And speaking of hot stuff, Ms Coffee's less-than perfect 'yacht' party is noted with appropriate sadness.

Now who needs a drink?

<img src="/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 24 May 2018 08:29

All hail the now heading for the Stanley Cup finals, mighty WASHINGTON CAPITALS!

Greetings to all who celebrate last night's, game seven win (4-3) by the long-suffering Capitals over the Tampa @ Bay Lightening.

Fuzzy's been waiting patiently for his morning coffee (sorry about that, Carl) but Big Bertha is now ready, able, and more than willing to put out her hot, set love in the form of coffee so good you'll almost forgive the unusually slow service, hopefully.

Ms Coffee's less-than perfect 'yacht' party is noted with appropriate sadness.

Now who needs a drink?

<img src="/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 23 May 2018 19:00

Scott, Tailgaters and their cuddly creator can both be very addictive...at least that's what I'm told. Ya want a double-shot of tequila, ya know, to help you get to sleep?

Jim, this coffee is made for you. It's been on a low boil all day as other folks took care of the 'regular' coffee. So what ya got in this mug is coffee that could double as roofing tar or maybe patching material for all the potholes out in t the parking lot. Enjoy.

Any more orders?

<img src="/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 23 May 2018 16:24

Afternoon, evening, night as the case may be.

Fuzzy feels a need for another Jameson with a Coke back. On se cond thought, better make that all plurals.

Tanya wants a a tall glass of sweet iced tea. No problem.

Sara wants something sorta like that except her's will have a shot of tequila added to make it a, Tailgater.

Jeff didn't mention anything so he'll get a mug filled with Big Bertha's goodness.

I'll be out of pocket for a few hours. Y'all play nice.

Any orders for drinks before I slide outta here?

<img src="/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 23 May 2018 09:23

Greetings, to all the fashionably late Rumplators. No doubt most folks are busy celebrating 'Hump Day'.

Anyway, I've given Big Bertha an ample amount of TLC along with water and Community dark roast Coffee.Might be almost strong enough for Fuzzy and Jim so consider yourselves warned, most of all, enjoy.

<img src="/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

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Stories Published By RumpleForeskin All Stories »

Terri's Transformation

The nice, young, married, nurse had never made love at work, or with a black man, or been unfaithful to her husband, but all that had changed. Terri Cummings was doing all three at once and loving every illicit, carnal first-time moment. Waves of ecstasy surged through her writhing body as the powerfully built man between her widespread legs hammered his demanding cock in and out of her...

Added 09 Jan 2018 | Category Uniform | Votes 25 | Avg Score 4.78 | Views 4,219 | 22 Comments

Feels So Right, It Can't Be Wrong: chapter 4

Kelly Layton glanced out at the dreary, post-blizzard landscape. Just looking at it made her feel cold. That alone would have been enough to keep her indoors, but she had one more special reason. A sudden wave of ecstasy rippled across her nude body and she quivered with delight. Moving her gaze away from the outside world, she smiled and watched the familiar blonde head bobbing between...

Added 09 Dec 2017 | Category Taboo | Votes 9 | Avg Score 4.89 | Views 6,480 | 6 Comments

Editor's Pick A Bookish Love Story

  The dream had returned--so had the eyes. They hovered in an angry sky just above the horizon, seeing everything but focusing on nothing. Amy knew those eyes—knew a time when they’d been filled with happiness and a love of life. But that had been before her brother came back from Vietnam. Young, naked, and skinny, she stood alone and vulnerable on a hill surrounded by flames where...

Added 02 Oct 2017 | Category Love Stories | Votes 26 | Avg Score 5 | Views 7,179 | 28 Comments

A Really Good Mood

With a spray of gravel, the ’66 Chevelle Super Sport sped away from the American Legion parking lot, raced down a narrow, blacktop access road, then slowed imperceptibly before making a tire-squealing right onto the main highway. The car quickly accelerated until it was speeding through the muggy, North Louisiana night. The cherry-red Chevy was always speeding — the only question being by...

Added 12 Jun 2017 | Category Seduction | Votes 20 | Avg Score 5 | Views 6,226 | 16 Comments

Adieu, Alan

His candle burned at both ends, It could not last the night.   But readers and friends all agree, It gave such a marvelous...

Added 26 Mar 2017 | Category Love Poems | Votes 30 | Avg Score 4.79 | Views 772 | 27 Comments

Served Just Right

  They were young, restless, and bored beyond depression. The two nursing students had been in Gwen’s cramped, single-person, dorm room since coming back from supper, smoking and joking, talking about school, men, and life while playing Beatles LP’s, keeping the incense burner going, and steadily draining the bottle of bourbon Mark had left, "for safe keeping," before flying home for a...

Added 09 Feb 2017 | Category Lesbian | Votes 12 | Avg Score 4.92 | Views 7,837 | 7 Comments

A Parting Gift To Remember

From her position draped over the back of an old, stuffed armchair, Lynn felt the fresh load of cum oozing out of her throbbing pussy, working its way through matted pubic hairs, then sliding down trembling inner thighs until it dripped onto the floor.  The thick cream felt cool on her hot, flushed, skin.  With Bob’s help, she struggled to her feet, turned around and hugged him. It had been...

Added 23 Dec 2016 | Category Flash Erotica | Votes 18 | Avg Score 4.94 | Views 3,240 | 14 Comments

What Are Friends For?

She blew in like a pissed off F5 tornado, shouted, "Don't say a fucking thing,” slammed the door shut,and slung her purse across the room. It ricocheted away from my butt-weary couch, cleared off the end table, then teetered briefly at the edge before following the displaced debris onto the floor. Only the reading lamp survived, leaning drunkenly against the wall, shade tilted at a...

Added 20 Aug 2016 | Category Love Stories | Votes 14 | Avg Score 5 | Views 5,082 | 11 Comments

Afternoon Aftermath

For Cindy Davis, it had been a weekend of unbelievable firsts. She had just spent two nights in a mid-town hotel room making almost constant love with Ray, a man she barely knew. Of course, it had been a once-in-a-lifetime experience, no doubt about that. He’d been alone, a long way from home and had needed her. Still, it marked the first time she’d ever cheated on her fiance', which...

Added 21 Apr 2016 | Category Reluctance | Votes 17 | Avg Score 4.88 | Views 11,383 | 8 Comments

Treats First then the Trick

It was a fantastic fuck. Randi Druitt's sex-charged body writhed and shuddered. A large, powerfully built man lay between her widespread legs. With deep, fluid strokes, he pumped his demanding cock in and out of her very willing pussy. Each thrust left her gasping with passion and wanting more. The freckle-faced redhead lay nude on the backseat of an old Buick, parked on the far side of a...

Added 21 Oct 2015 | Category Cheating | Votes 12 | Avg Score 5 | Views 7,566 | 7 Comments

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HappyHappyBirthday!!! Know it will be a naughty fun day. Stay naked and hard. Enjoy and smile.
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Happy Birthday from the Lush team.
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Thank you for reading my comp story, Daddy's Little Girl. Your support is greatly appreciated.
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Merry Christmas Bill.
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