About RumpleForeskin

Just your typical run down, beaten down, slapped down, broken down, shot down, hung down, put down, and kicked around old blind porn writer who's been beaten up, tied up, chewed up, blown up, hung up, screwed up, messed up, held up, and told to shut the fuck up.

Rumple Foreskin
Relationship Status:
Lost in the desert out west of Apache Junction, Arizona, United States
recreational sex, writing about sex, thinking about sex, reading about sex, etc.
Favorite Books:
Those written by: William Faulkner Ernest Hemingway John Steinbeck Walter Mosley Alan Furst Elmore Leonard Raymond Chandler P.G. Wodehouse George MacDonald Fraser Kinky Friedman Flannery O'Connor Eudora Welty Walker Percy among others
Favorite Movies:
Primarily comedies: A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum It's A Mad Mad Mad Mad World Dr. Strangelove Support Your Local Sheriff/Gunfighter The Blues Brothers plus the films of: The Marx Brothers W.C. Fields Woody Allen Mel Brooks
Favorite Music:
Almost anything with the exception of: rap, polka, and a-tonal
Date Joined:
03 Jul 2009
Last Visit:
29 Sep 2016 (4 hours ago)
Page Viewed:
25,321 times
Days in Chat:
Days on Site:
Forum Posts:
Latest Forum Posts
Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 29 Sep 2016 23:43

Evening, Mike. Many thanks for the kind comment on my 'A Special Photo' story. I recall reading your 'Polaroid' story but plan on giving it another going over.

VG's challenge to write a story with a despicable main character is intriguing. I've only written one here on Lush, a 1500-word effort about a scheming small town, southern party girl, titled, 'Nice Can Be Very Nice'


Give it a look see sometime and you'll understand why most Lush readers apparently found it wanting in the wanton area. ;)

BTW, I've just brewed a fresh pot of coffee, which I'm about to start rendering down to a caffine-rich sludge in time for tomorrows customers. Care to try some now with a healthy dose of 'Beaver Breath Brandy'?

It's pushing midnight out here in the desert so I'm heading for the horizontal.

George Burns: "Say goodnight, Gracie."
Gracie Allen: "Okay, George, 'Goodnight, Gracie.'"

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 29 Sep 2016 05:40

Greetings, fellow travelers down the lusty lanes of Lush.

Today is, National Coffee Day. I'm not sure why or who got it started, but in honor of the mighty bean, an order of Rumplations' world-infamous coffee comes with a free refill...assuming anyone has some stomach lining left after the first mug.

Anyone thinking about entering the 'Fetish' contest?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: Have you ever seen a prettier woman than
Posted: 27 Sep 2016 22:15

Just a pedantic quibble: There are a lot of pretty women in this world, but relatively few who are so classically beautiful they seem somewhere beyond concepts such as alluring, sensual, and sexy. Greta Garbo was such a woman. IMHO, Deneuve is one of the select few to somehow manage to combine all those elements.

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">,

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 27 Sep 2016 21:30

Evening, Gil. What about a cold can of, Lone Star Beer? I'll even add a semi-clean glass and two cocktail umbrellas.

Don't worry your head none about, Tanya. Buz and Mike have hustled back to the stock room, having cheerfully volunteered to take up my slack till I've recuperate. Damn nice of those guys to pitch in to help out an old blind vet.

Anyone else need something to ease the aches and pains of life...I mean, besides Tanya, opiates, and banana pudding?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 27 Sep 2016 17:45

Okay...who's the single-digit IQ clown who decided it'd be a real joke to shove a shit load of slugs into the Worlitzer and then select this song again, and again, and again, etc., etc.......?


Not funny. Not funny at all, y'all. Made me lose count in the middle of the inventory Tanya and I were doing in the stock room. Now we'll have to start all over and, frankly, I'm about worn out.

Anyway, I've got the MD 20/20 Mike wanted but VG's order has sort of slipped what passes for my mind. So the rest of you order now or go thirsty.

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 24 Sep 2016 21:30

Greetings, one and/or all.

Laura, about that red wine do you want Tokay, Ripple, or Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill?

Mike, here's a double shot of 'Old Buzzard Kentucky Bourbon' and a schooner of Shiner Bock beer. Sorry your day's been so tough.Since VG is the writer of a 'Famous' Lush story, I'll just put the charge on her tab.

The rest of y'all want anything...I mean, besides, Tanya? Can't have her. She's helping me back in the stock room with some hands-on inventory work.

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 23 Sep 2016 19:58

Greetings, VG. You finished off the last of Buz's 'Hunch Punch' so what about a 'Gorilla Killer' a super-charged Cuban Libre using 151 proof rum. A couple of those and you even forget your burns. (visualize a smilie showing great sympathy)

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: The Rage Cage
Posted: 23 Sep 2016 19:38

VG, I don't feel your pain...for which I'm very grateful. But this may be a hint that you need to become a bit more ambidextrous and/or less klutzy.

Topic: What Pets Do You Have?
Posted: 22 Sep 2016 19:32

Just one question: Do flies, fleas, bedbugs, roaches, etc., etc. count for purposes of answering this 'Petting' question?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: true stories
Posted: 22 Sep 2016 19:23

Like most writers anywhere, including Lush, some of my stories are pure fiction, others were inspired by real life or based on real life events. A few are even 'names changed to protect the wanton' recounts of real life events. For instance, the first story on my sig line was inspired by a relationship between two friends of mine. The third story is from nothing but my warped imagination. But the second story...well, that one is based on honest to goodness, 'if I'm lying I'm dying' type real events exactly as the story details...honest, no fooling, trust me on this one, okay?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

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Stories Published By RumpleForeskin
What Are Friends For?

She blew in like a pissed off F5 tornado, shouted, "Don't say a fucking thing,” slammed the door shut,and slung her purse across the room. It ricocheted away from my butt-weary couch, cleared off the end table, then teetered briefly at the edge before following the displaced debris onto the floor. Only the reading lamp survived, leaning drunkenly against the wall, shade tilted at a...

Added 20 Aug 2016 | Category Love Stories | Votes 13 | Avg Score 5 | Views 2,697 | 11 Comments

Afternoon Aftermath

For Cindy Davis, it had been a weekend of unbelievable firsts. She had just spent two nights in a mid-town hotel room making almost constant love with Ray, a man she barely knew. Of course, it had been a once-in-a-lifetime experience, no doubt about that. He’d been alone, a long way from home and had needed her. Still, it marked the first time she’d ever cheated on her fiance', which...

Added 21 Apr 2016 | Category Reluctance | Votes 16 | Avg Score 4.88 | Views 8,520 | 9 Comments

Treats First then the Trick

It was a fantastic fuck. Randi Druitt's sex-charged body writhed and shuddered. A large, powerfully built man lay between her widespread legs. With deep, fluid strokes, he pumped his demanding cock in and out of her very willing pussy. Each thrust left her gasping with passion and wanting more. The freckle-faced redhead lay nude on the backseat of an old Buick, parked on the far side of a...

Added 21 Oct 2015 | Category Cheating | Votes 11 | Avg Score 5 | Views 6,396 | 7 Comments

Recommended Read Getting A Lot Of What She Wants

The thick, glistening shaft slipped from Cindy’s mouth like a long, sexy serpent. When the swollen cockhead came into view, she lapped at its smooth surface while glancing up at her husband. Ray’s big, nude body was sprawled comfortably on their living room couch. Curly blonde hair cushioned his head against the wall. Those blue eyes she adored so much were shut. His lips were parted. It...

Added 28 Sep 2015 | Category Fetish | Votes 14 | Avg Score 5 | Views 5,577 | 15 Comments

Of Love and War and Donna Lynn

It was another turbulent day in the summer of 68. Student protests raged from the Sorbonne to Berkeley. In the US, civil rights demonstrations and anti-war rallies were turning violent. Martin Luther King was dead; Bobby Kennedy would be soon. In South Vietnam, hundreds of other Americans were being killed each month. Soldiers patrolled the streets of Saigon, Paris, and Washington while...

Added 31 Aug 2015 | Category Historical | Votes 18 | Avg Score 4.83 | Views 1,576 | 17 Comments

A Different Sort of Cramming

Textbooks and study notes showered down from the bouncing mattress of a venerable four-poster bed as a long, thick, column of rigid flesh kept up a steady rhythm of lust and need, surging back and forth past stretched, slightly irritated pussy lips that clutch tightly around the unyielding shaft relentlessly cramming its engorged cock head into the inner most depths of a wet, stuffed...

Added 27 Aug 2015 | Category Quickie Sex | Votes 8 | Avg Score 5 | Views 7,878 | 6 Comments

Feels So Right It Can’t Be Wrong: chapter 3

Kelly woke in her stepbrother’s bed cuddled next to his nude body. The sheet barely covered his morning erection. She thought about teasing him awake, it struck her as the big-sisterly thing to do, but then rolled onto her back, stretched, and immediately dozed off and slipped into yet another rerun of her dreams. Like most of those she’d had recently, they involved sex. Unlike the...

Added 30 Jun 2014 | Category Taboo | Votes 17 | Avg Score 5 | Views 21,555 | 9 Comments

Feels So Right, It Can’t Be Wrong: Chapter 2

After a lot of poking, prodding, and teasing, the stepsiblings managed to disentangle and get off Jason’s bed. Before he could pull Kelly out of the room, however, she noticed the sheets. “Whoa. Halt. Stop. Sorry, but those sheets have got to go.” Jason protested but she remained adamant as only a somewhat fastidious big sister can be and began stripping the bed. Perhaps it was seeing her...

Added 27 Jun 2014 | Category Taboo | Votes 13 | Avg Score 4.92 | Views 21,139 | 6 Comments

Feels So Right, It Can’t Be Wrong: Chapter 1

Horny, nervous, and half-naked, Kelly Layton peeked through the open bedroom door. Inside, her kid brother, make that her kid stepbrother, lay stretched out on his unmade bed, reading a paperback. But he’s no kid, thought Kelly. Not anymore. Though still just eighteen, with his athletic build, dark hair, eyes the same steel-gray as his father’s, and a smile that could get him laid in...

Added 25 Jun 2014 | Category Taboo | Votes 21 | Avg Score 5 | Views 40,983 | 7 Comments


The old-style Checker cab inched away from the congested airport loading zone,then pulled out into the cold, rainy January evening and headed for a downtown hotel. Inside, Gwen studied Mark's face. For all she knew, he might have found someone special while back home. Hesitantly, even shyly, she asked, "Did you miss me?” Mark nodded, "You were all I could think about on the flight up....

Added 30 Mar 2014 | Category Flash Erotica | Votes 19 | Avg Score 4.74 | Views 4,843 | 14 Comments

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Friends Comments
Friends Comments

Posted: 26 Aug 2016 17:33

Posted: 02 Jul 2016 20:08

Posted: 31 May 2016 14:47
Your honky tonk can use an upgrade, chief...

Posted: 13 May 2016 15:03
I never thought of making them into necklaces. I'll have to give it a try.

Posted: 16 Apr 2016 20:44

Posted: 09 Apr 2016 17:41
Waiting for my drink and more umbrellas.

Posted: 26 Mar 2016 22:43

Posted: 26 Mar 2016 20:29
Happy Easter and Congratulations, but keep those tears dried away

Posted: 25 Mar 2016 21:29
I'm pretty sure she'd win the contest. I'll just keep drinking.

Posted: 21 Mar 2016 17:02
Can't decide if I should go out back to the dumpster. I think I'll drink inside for awhile.
Posted: 17 Mar 2016 00:20
Happy Birthday from the Lush team.

Posted: 16 Mar 2016 17:13
Happy Happy Birthday!!! Know it will be a naughty day. Stay naked and hard. Enjoy.

Posted: 02 Mar 2016 20:16

Posted: 14 Feb 2016 19:37
Have a great Valentine weekend

Posted: 23 Dec 2015 16:06
Merry Christmas, Rumpy!

Posted: 07 Dec 2015 20:28

Posted: 31 Oct 2015 08:13

Posted: 14 Sep 2015 19:20
Thank you for celebrating my birthday with me.

Posted: 27 Aug 2015 11:45
Thanks for adding me........

Posted: 27 Aug 2015 10:29
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