About RumpleForeskin

Biography

Just your typical run down, beaten down, slapped down, broken down, shot down, hung down, put down, and kicked around old blind porn writer who's been beaten up, tied up, chewed up, blown up, hung up, screwed up, messed up, held up, and told to shut the fuck up.

Name:
Rumple Foreskin
Sex:
Male 
Age:
70
Sign:
Pisces
Relationship Status:
Married
Orientation:
Straight
Location:
Lost in the desert west of Apache Junction, USA , Arizona, United States
Local Time:
22 Jul 2017 00:31
Interests:
recreational sex, writing about sex, thinking about sex, reading about sex, etc.
Favorite Books:
Those written by: William Faulkner Ernest Hemingway John Steinbeck Walter Mosley Alan Furst Elmore Leonard Raymond Chandler P.G. Wodehouse George MacDonald Fraser Kinky Friedman Flannery O'Connor Eudora Welty Walker Percy among others
Favorite Movies:
Primarily comedies: A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum It's A Mad Mad Mad Mad World Dr. Strangelove Support Your Local Sheriff/Gunfighter The Blues Brothers plus the films of: The Marx Brothers W.C. Fields Woody Allen Mel Brooks
Favorite Music:
Almost anything with the exception of: rap, polka, and a-tonal
Website:

Statistics

Date Joined:
03 Jul 2009
Last Visit:
21 Jul 2017 (5 hours ago)
Page Viewed:
27,854 times
Friends:
67
Followers:
76
Days in Chat:
0
Days on Site:
30+
Forum Posts:
3,993
Stories:
33
Badges:
16

Latest Forum Posts More forum posts »

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 21 Jul 2017 15:43

Mike wrote: What kind of place is this anyway.

The answer should be obvious to even the meanest intellect. This is the sort of joint that would use you for its assistant, second-string, replacement barkeep and unofficial Tawny toy. ;)

BTW, around here, your likely to find a worm in damn near any type of booze...especially after ya finish off yet another bottle.

So whadda you worm-heads want to drink?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 21 Jul 2017 10:10

BC, it's sure been good to know you even though it's only been in the non-biblical sense of 'knowing'. ;)

Coffee and beer for the 'Dropsey Twins', Jeff and Mike.

NEWS FLASH!

This is devastating news, at least for the folks at, Saturday Night Live:


Sean Spicer resigned as White House press secretary “telling President Trump he vehemently disagreed with the appointment of New York financier Anthony Scaramucci as communications director,” the New York Times reports.

“The president requested that Mr. Spicer stay on, but Mr. Spicer told Mr. Trump that he believed the appointment was a major mistake.”

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 21 Jul 2017 08:00

TGIF greetings to all who write, read, perform, or just think about, smutty porn. Youse guys are my kinda carbon-based lifeforms.

The time has come, so to speak, for a confession from me to thee. There's a new mod over on the Stories Space site, namely, Rumple deWriter...that's me, honest.

Obviously, the future of SS has become even more questionable. Here's hoping those of you who submit your non-Lush stories over there will continue to do so. If you never have, please consider giving the place a try.

Lush is my writing home but for those stories that aren't, as Nic once described one of my stories, "...not Lushy enough" SS is a nice place to give them some exposure.

Now back to what passes for business around here. BC, here's your Earl Grey. At no additional cost I've included a plastic spoon. So what about the rest of you barflies? Bertha's just waiting to put out, so to speak, and there are plenty of 'enhancers' to add a kick to her version of coffee. Oh yeah, there's also some mighty fine lickers available.

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: New Competition: Write Sprite's Profile.
Posted: 20 Jul 2017 18:00

From: Her Royal Spriteness

To all my many fans and/or subjects:

Instead of the usual self-serving profile auto-biography, I'm posting a typical fan letter from just one of my typical fans.

"At words poetic, I'm so pathetic

That I always have found it best,

Instead of getting 'em off my chest,

To let 'em rest unexpressed,

I hate parading my serenading

As I'll probably miss a bar,

But if this ditty is not so pretty

At least it'll tell you

How great you are.


You're the top!

You're the Colosseum.

You're the top!

You're the Louver Museum.

You're a melody from a symphony by Strauss

You're a Bendel bonnet,

A Shakespeare's sonnet,

You're Minnie Mouse."

Your devoted fan,
C. Porter


<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 20 Jul 2017 11:00

Jeff, you just voiced my thoughts about John McCain. Here's your coffee. Ya want a double or triple enhancement...on the house?

Scott, I'll make you the same offer, coffee-wise. Ya wanna double or triple?

Adagio, You want to try some of, Bertha's Best Brew? It's a unique take on the concept of coffee. Tell ya what, I'll add a shot glass full of Beaver Breath Brandy on the side in case you decide it could use some 'enhancement'. Condi-mints are on the bar along with some day-old jalepena poppers. Enjoy.

Any more orders?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 20 Jul 2017 05:38

Morning, y'all. Sorry about this, but I'm in one hellacious foul mood. It's a combination of Trump's interview with the NY Times and the news about John McCain being diagnosed with the same form of cancer that took the lives of Sen. Ted Kennedy and VP Joe Biden's son, Bo. (sigh)

I'll be around today, but will try to keep a lower profile. But it ain't you babes. Youse guys are the best.

Phil, here's your beer. Mike, since it's morning in the western hemisphere, here's a mug of Bertha's Best complete with a slug of BBB. Anyone else want something to wet their whistle?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 19 Jul 2017 18:40

BIG NEWS!

Sprite has a new story. Check it out at:
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/bdsm/would-you-like-ketchup-with-that-5.aspx
Over on Stories Space, Larry has a new micro fiction piece, "Come Lie With Me'. If you go over there right now, you'll find it at the top of the main page.

Following Larry's latest, in both positioning and quality, is my 3800 word 'General' story, 'Peace Talks'.

No matter how long your reading cue has grown, check out those first two, ASAP.

So who needs a drink...besides me, that is?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 19 Jul 2017 06:19

Happy 'Hump Day'! You folks be sure to mis-behave accordingly.

Emily, since this will be your first mug of Bertha's version of coffee, I'll even wipe off the mug for you. The usual condo-mints are on the bar...help your own self. Enjoy, and good luck. ;)

My thanks to Lilly and Buz for their kind comments on my '...Good Mood' story. As with all my other stories, I wish I'd done mo' better. But I gave it my best shot so 'thumbs up' from other writers are a goodness.

Mike, have you and the Wild-One worked out a deal on one of your 'Dirty Martini's?

Bertha has plenty more to offer if anyone else is interested. So what, pray tell, do you clowns want...to drink, that is?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 18 Jul 2017 14:06

MP ordered: Goldschlager please with a water back?

MP got: a Goldschlager with a water back

The rest of you can have all the Goldschlager ya want...in your dreams. ;)

Scott, we got a semi-fresh bottle of Canadian Club. What ya want for a mixer or do you prefer straight up or maybe on the rocks?

Jeff, ya want an 'enhancer' for that coffee?

And what about the rest of you lewd, licentious, liberated libertines? (Man, I gotta start going back to, Aliterators Anonymous, meetings.)

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 18 Jul 2017 10:50

Mike wrote: I just had a silly idea. Inspired by the idea of the dudes in the Tour de France who try to finish last, without getting eliminated along the way (the lanterne rouge)... What about trying to write a story that gets the fewest views possible? It would have to be good enough to be approved, obviously. A bland title. An unpopular category. yawn-inducing tags. The opposite of a catchy intro...

Mike, a semi-brilliant idea. I got ya covered with my next submission...trust me.

BC, yya want that Coca-Cola in a bottle or can and are ya gonna slug it down straight from the container or will you need a glass with ice and even a cocktail umbrella or two?

Jeff, you want to mix the beer and bourbon in that bowl yourself?

Any more orders...for drinks, that is?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

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Stories Published By RumpleForeskin All Stories »

A Really Good Mood

With a spray of gravel, the ’66 Chevelle Super Sport sped away from the American Legion parking lot, raced down a narrow, blacktop access road, then slowed imperceptibly before making a tire-squealing right onto the main highway. The car quickly accelerated until it was speeding through the muggy, North Louisiana night. The cherry-red Chevy was always speeding — the only question being by...

Added 12 Jun 2017 | Category Seduction | Votes 20 | Avg Score 5 | Views 4,614 | 17 Comments

Adieu, Alan

His candle burned at both ends, It could not last the night.   But readers and friends all agree, It gave such a marvelous...

Added 26 Mar 2017 | Category Love Poems | Votes 33 | Avg Score 4.81 | Views 475 | 30 Comments

Served Just Right

  They were young, restless, and bored beyond depression. The two nursing students had been in Gwen’s cramped, single-person, dorm room since coming back from supper, smoking and joking, talking about school, men, and life while playing Beatles LP’s, keeping the incense burner going, and steadily draining the bottle of bourbon Mark had left, "for safe keeping," before flying home for a...

Added 09 Feb 2017 | Category Lesbian | Votes 14 | Avg Score 4.93 | Views 6,842 | 9 Comments

A Parting Gift To Remember

From her position draped over the back of an old, stuffed armchair, Lynn felt the fresh load of cum oozing out of her throbbing pussy, working its way through matted pubic hairs, then sliding down trembling inner thighs until it dripped onto the floor.  The thick cream felt cool on her hot, flushed, skin.  With Bob’s help, she struggled to her feet, turned around and hugged him. It had been...

Added 23 Dec 2016 | Category Flash Erotica | Votes 22 | Avg Score 5 | Views 2,614 | 17 Comments

What Are Friends For?

She blew in like a pissed off F5 tornado, shouted, "Don't say a fucking thing,” slammed the door shut,and slung her purse across the room. It ricocheted away from my butt-weary couch, cleared off the end table, then teetered briefly at the edge before following the displaced debris onto the floor. Only the reading lamp survived, leaning drunkenly against the wall, shade tilted at a...

Added 20 Aug 2016 | Category Love Stories | Votes 16 | Avg Score 5 | Views 3,961 | 13 Comments

Afternoon Aftermath

For Cindy Davis, it had been a weekend of unbelievable firsts. She had just spent two nights in a mid-town hotel room making almost constant love with Ray, a man she barely knew. Of course, it had been a once-in-a-lifetime experience, no doubt about that. He’d been alone, a long way from home and had needed her. Still, it marked the first time she’d ever cheated on her fiance', which...

Added 21 Apr 2016 | Category Reluctance | Votes 18 | Avg Score 4.89 | Views 10,265 | 10 Comments

Treats First then the Trick

It was a fantastic fuck. Randi Druitt's sex-charged body writhed and shuddered. A large, powerfully built man lay between her widespread legs. With deep, fluid strokes, he pumped his demanding cock in and out of her very willing pussy. Each thrust left her gasping with passion and wanting more. The freckle-faced redhead lay nude on the backseat of an old Buick, parked on the far side of a...

Added 21 Oct 2015 | Category Cheating | Votes 12 | Avg Score 5 | Views 7,048 | 7 Comments

Recommended Read Getting A Lot Of What She Wants

The thick, glistening shaft slipped from Cindy’s mouth like a long, sexy serpent. When the swollen cockhead came into view, she lapped at its smooth surface while glancing up at her husband. Ray’s big, nude body was sprawled comfortably on their living room couch. Curly blonde hair cushioned his head against the wall. Those blue eyes she adored so much were shut. His lips were parted. It...

Added 28 Sep 2015 | Category Fetish | Votes 15 | Avg Score 5 | Views 6,442 | 17 Comments

Of Love and War and Donna Lynn

It was another turbulent day in the summer of 68. Student protests raged from the Sorbonne to Berkeley. In the US, civil rights demonstrations and anti-war rallies were turning violent. Martin Luther King was dead; Bobby Kennedy would be soon. In South Vietnam, hundreds of other Americans were being killed each month. Soldiers patrolled the streets of Saigon, Paris, and Washington while...

Added 31 Aug 2015 | Category Historical | Votes 19 | Avg Score 4.84 | Views 2,101 | 17 Comments

A Different Sort of Cramming

Textbooks and study notes showered down from the bouncing mattress of a venerable four-poster bed as a long, thick, column of rigid flesh kept up a steady rhythm of lust and need, surging back and forth past stretched, slightly irritated pussy lips that clutch tightly around the unyielding shaft relentlessly cramming its engorged cock head into the inner most depths of a wet, stuffed...

Added 27 Aug 2015 | Category Quickie Sex | Votes 8 | Avg Score 5 | Views 8,430 | 5 Comments

Image Gallery

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6 Videos

Friends Comments


Simmerdownchick
Posted: 08 Jul 2017 16:42

Simplicity
Posted: 13 Jun 2017 05:56

browncoffee
Posted: 12 Jun 2017 01:18

Simplicity
Posted: 09 Jun 2017 10:10

Simplicity
Posted: 04 Jun 2017 13:05
Thank you for the add..

Buz
Posted: 19 May 2017 21:13

browncoffee
Posted: 27 Apr 2017 06:23

elizabethblack
Posted: 15 Apr 2017 21:08
Love Bessie Smith - thanks for the reminder

Simmerdownchick
Posted: 13 Apr 2017 22:49



Simmerdownchick
Posted: 27 Mar 2017 17:36
Lilly
Posted: 17 Mar 2017 16:42

biggym
Posted: 17 Mar 2017 03:10
Happy Happy Birthday!!! Know it will be a naughty fun day. Stay naked and hard. Enjoy and smile.
Lush
Posted: 17 Mar 2017 00:20
Happy Birthday from the Lush team.
Lydia_
Posted: 16 Mar 2017 17:26

Milik_the_Red
Posted: 05 Mar 2017 17:11

Simmerdownchick
Posted: 03 Mar 2017 22:58






Simmerdownchick
Posted: 02 Mar 2017 19:13
Thanks for accepting my friend request~

Simmerdownchick
Posted: 02 Mar 2017 19:12


browncoffee
Posted: 02 Mar 2017 01:13

Buz
Posted: 28 Feb 2017 12:30
Bill, I'm dropping a few bottles of Southern Comfort off to celebrate with you. It seems some of us southern gentleman are appreciated. Congratulations!

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