About RumpleForeskin
Biography

Just your typical run down, beaten down, slapped down, broken down, shot down, hung down, put down, and kicked around old blind porn writer who's been beaten up, tied up, chewed up, blown up, hung up, screwed up, messed up, held up, and told to shut the fuck up.

Name:
Rumple Foreskin
Sex:
Male 
Age:
69
Sign:
Pisces
Relationship Status:
Married
Location:
Lost in the desert west of Apache Junction, Arizona, United States
Interests:
recreational sex, writing about sex, thinking about sex, reading about sex, etc.
Favorite Books:
Those written by: William Faulkner Ernest Hemingway John Steinbeck Walter Mosley Alan Furst Elmore Leonard Raymond Chandler P.G. Wodehouse George MacDonald Fraser Kinky Friedman Flannery O'Connor Eudora Welty Walker Percy among others
Favorite Movies:
Primarily comedies: A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum It's A Mad Mad Mad Mad World Dr. Strangelove Support Your Local Sheriff/Gunfighter The Blues Brothers plus the films of: The Marx Brothers W.C. Fields Woody Allen Mel Brooks
Favorite Music:
Almost anything with the exception of: rap, polka, and a-tonal
Website:
Statistics
Date Joined:
03 Jul 2009
Last Visit:
31 Aug 2016 (3 hours ago)
Page Viewed:
25,153 times
Friends:
53
Followers:
59
Days in Chat:
0
Days on Site:
30+
Forum Posts:
3,190
Stories:
29
Badges:
14
Latest Forum Posts
Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 31 Aug 2016 04:58

Greetings, wanderers in the wonderland that is Lush.

ALERT! Just noticed we have a 'guest' in the house. Y'all shape up, okay? No spitting on the floor or doing whatever disgusting thing y'all do in the far, dark corner. After all, we need to at least try and make a good impression.

VG, a Canuck who can't hold her booze? Wow! And all this time Seeker's been telling me there was no such thing as a Canadian female type lady person who was a cheap drunk...at least none he'd ever encountered.

Got a fresh pot of coffee and just opened another bottle of 'Beaver Breath Brandy'. Anyone need a hit?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 30 Aug 2016 21:24

What, I say, what in the name of both Strunk & White is going on around here? Okay, your orders are coming up. Gimmie a minute. Only got two hands, you know and Tawny's out in the dumpster hot tub with Buz.

Here you go. Four-fingers of Canadian Club for Jen...straight, of course. Five-fingers of 'Dead Mule Whiskey, anti-freeze, and paint thinner for Verbal. No with a long-neck bottle of 'Belly Buster Beer' for a chaser. And Gil, what about some old fashioned, 7-Up, the type that came complete with a healthy dose of lithium to boost your feel-good quota.

Now I'm heading for the dumpster with three double 'Gorilla Killers'. Tawny might be more than Buz wants all to his own self.

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 30 Aug 2016 21:16

What, I say, what in the name of both Strunk & White is going on around here? Okay, your orders are coming up. Gimmie a minute. Only got two hands, you know and Tawny's out in the dumpster hot tub with Buz.

Okay, here you go. Four-fingers of Canadian Club for Jen...straight, of course. Five-fingers of 'Dead Mule Whiskey, anti-freeze, and paint thinner for Verbal. No with a long-neck bottle of 'Belly Buster Beer' for a chaser. And Gil, what about some old fashioned, 7-Up, the type that came complete with a healthy dose of lithium to boost your feel-good quota.

Now I'm heading for the dumpster with three 'Gorilla Killers'. Tawny might be more than Buz wants all to his own self.

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 30 Aug 2016 17:41

Mike, don't encourage those two female-type women folks. Jen, I'll have you know that not only don't we have any of that Franjello stuff, in addition to not knowing how to spell it, I'm not sure how it pronounced, whether spelled right or not.

VG, speaking of legs and your avatar, may I remind you that we blind 'see' with our fingertips? ;) Oh yeah, the best scotch we've got is a half-empty bottle of 'Safeway Brand Scotch".

BTW, I read that story Buz recommended "Hat Trick" and it could be a strong contender.

So what do y'all want to drink...I mean, besides fancy pants imported stuff? Wait a minute. Just came across a bottle of 'Canadian Club'. Want some with a bit of 7-Up?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 30 Aug 2016 03:57

Greetings Lushketeers.

Jen, I just double-checked your story at it's labeled "Contest Entry'. It also has over 30 comments which should indicate way more than the ten votes needed as a minimum to qualify for judging. Still, it might not hurt to PM Nic just to make sure everything is okay.

VG, best I recall, them guy-type runners tend to have skinny, ropey legs, unlike we field event guys who tend to have legs like mighty Sequoias. ;)

Buz, I don't recall reading anything by MM. I'll be sure to give it a look-see right after cranking out all the brandy and coffee things. Which reminds me, I'll even tossed in some simulated Cool-Whip for those so inclined and put the charge on your tab.

Verbal, as someone who never could dream up a story I liked myself, I really appreciate the high quality of the contest entries by Rumplators. Sorry about the distance between you and your s/o. What about I toss a double-shot of Beaver Breath into your coffee?

Okay, any other drink orders?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 29 Aug 2016 12:27

Greetings, competent competitors.

VG, those were very kind sentiments you just expressed. BUT, just between us, I'm not exactly sure the world is ready for a 'show' by Mike, if you get my drift.

So what'll y'all have to drink?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 29 Aug 2016 04:46

Greetings, to all good and/or bad Lushers wherever you may roam.

Look, I've got a bunch of leftover coffee after Jennifer and Mike both went in for Rumplations' Special coffee with a healthy dose of Beaver Breath Brandy to hide the taste. Anyway, I've reheated the coffee, which is no more than a couple days old, give or take a day or two. So what do you have to lose, I mean, besides some stomach lining?

Just a reminder, voting closes in a few hours in the current Lush writing contest. IMO, several Rumplators have strong contenders among the entries. Judging by the number of comments, I think all of them probably have the minimum ten votes needed to qualify for the contest finals. Still, why take a chance? If you haven't voted,do so quick like.

Okay, so who wants some of this coffee?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 28 Aug 2016 11:39

Greettings, Ms J. Sorry about the rough week. Sounds like you've been on the same wave length as Mike and Gil.

To assuage your needs and ease your woes, I'll use Rumplations' own, Beaver Breath Brandy and coffee brewed in a semi-clean pot.

Hey, Mike, you want some of this stuff?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 28 Aug 2016 09:41

Greetings, weekend wanderers in the lands of Lush. Gil, Mike, you two ready for cold refills?

Got something really different...a bit of poetry. Came across this in todays's "The Writer's Almanac" and felt compelled to share the opening lines including the description of "The Look" a woman gives the writer's friend. Enjoy.

xxx

Wincing at the Beautiful

by Paul Hostovsky


So my friend Phil is telling me how
he can’t get a date
how he loves women and how
they’re always giving him looks
so I ask him what kind of looks
so he winces at the beautiful
braless young woman passing by
at that particular propitious moment
giving her a look of such
longing and longevity
that she returns his look with a look
that kills his entire family tree
from the roots to the unimagined
blossoms of the great grandchildren shriveling
on his shriveling bough
and I think I’ve diagnosed his problem now... .

xxx

Not that I've ever been on the receiving end of one of those 'looks', not me, no way, of course, being blind gives me a certain advantage in that category. ;)

So what'll the rest of y'all have to drink?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: Genitalia Reference
Posted: 26 Aug 2016 09:17

For me, it often depends on the tone of the sex. If it's emotional and romantic, slow and sensual, I tend to stick with more flowery terms, like core, center, chanel, lips, folds, slit, and pussy . Something more active, more passionate, will earn words like cunt, snatch, quim , and the ones above with more vivid descriptors, like tight, eager, dripping, hungry, needy, swollen. The most depraved of scenes that I will write tend to use terms like fuckhole , along with very hedonistic descriptors and the other words above.

It's all about being creative within the kind of scene that you're wanting to paint. :)

I agree, approximately 100%. BTW, I've also had female type writers express some reservations about 'cunt'. FWIW, I wouldn't use it in a romantic scene. On the other hand, 'woo-woo' is probably best avoided or used very carefully. ;)

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

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Stories Published By RumpleForeskin
What Are Friends For?

She blew in like a pissed off F5 tornado, shouted, "Don't say a fucking thing,” slammed the door shut,and slung her purse across the room. It ricocheted away from my butt-weary couch, cleared off the end table, then teetered briefly at the edge before following the displaced debris onto the floor. Only the reading lamp survived, leaning drunkenly against the wall, shade tilted at a...

Added 20 Aug 2016 | Category Love Stories | Votes 12 | Avg Score 5 | Views 2,200 | 10 Comments

Afternoon Aftermath

For Cindy Davis, it had been a weekend of unbelievable firsts. She had just spent two nights in a mid-town hotel room making almost constant love with Ray, a man she barely knew. Of course, it had been a once-in-a-lifetime experience, no doubt about that. He’d been alone, a long way from home and had needed her. Still, it marked the first time she’d ever cheated on her fiance', which...

Added 21 Apr 2016 | Category Reluctance | Votes 16 | Avg Score 4.88 | Views 8,157 | 9 Comments

Treats First then the Trick

It was a fantastic fuck. Randi Druitt's sex-charged body writhed and shuddered. A large, powerfully built man lay between her widespread legs. With deep, fluid strokes, he pumped his demanding cock in and out of her very willing pussy. Each thrust left her gasping with passion and wanting more. The freckle-faced redhead lay nude on the backseat of an old Buick, parked on the far side of a...

Added 21 Oct 2015 | Category Cheating | Votes 11 | Avg Score 5 | Views 6,281 | 7 Comments

Recommended Read Getting A Lot Of What She Wants

The thick, glistening shaft slipped from Cindy’s mouth like a long, sexy serpent. When the swollen cockhead came into view, she lapped at its smooth surface while glancing up at her husband. Ray’s big, nude body was sprawled comfortably on their living room couch. Curly blonde hair cushioned his head against the wall. Those blue eyes she adored so much were shut. His lips were parted. It...

Added 28 Sep 2015 | Category Fetish | Votes 14 | Avg Score 5 | Views 5,485 | 15 Comments

Of Love and War and Donna Lynn

It was another turbulent day in the summer of 68. Student protests raged from the Sorbonne to Berkeley. In the US, civil rights demonstrations and anti-war rallies were turning violent. Martin Luther King was dead; Bobby Kennedy would be soon. In South Vietnam, hundreds of other Americans were being killed each month. Soldiers patrolled the streets of Saigon, Paris, and Washington while...

Added 31 Aug 2015 | Category Historical | Votes 18 | Avg Score 4.83 | Views 1,530 | 17 Comments

A Different Sort of Cramming

Textbooks and study notes showered down from the bouncing mattress of a venerable four-poster bed as a long, thick, column of rigid flesh kept up a steady rhythm of lust and need, surging back and forth past stretched, slightly irritated pussy lips that clutch tightly around the unyielding shaft relentlessly cramming its engorged cock head into the inner most depths of a wet, stuffed...

Added 27 Aug 2015 | Category Quickie Sex | Votes 8 | Avg Score 5 | Views 7,814 | 6 Comments

Feels So Right It Can’t Be Wrong: chapter 3

Kelly woke in her stepbrother’s bed cuddled next to his nude body. The sheet barely covered his morning erection. She thought about teasing him awake, it struck her as the big-sisterly thing to do, but then rolled onto her back, stretched, and immediately dozed off and slipped into yet another rerun of her dreams. Like most of those she’d had recently, they involved sex. Unlike the...

Added 30 Jun 2014 | Category Taboo | Votes 17 | Avg Score 5 | Views 21,436 | 9 Comments

Feels So Right, It Can’t Be Wrong: Chapter 2

After a lot of poking, prodding, and teasing, the stepsiblings managed to disentangle and get off Jason’s bed. Before he could pull Kelly out of the room, however, she noticed the sheets. “Whoa. Halt. Stop. Sorry, but those sheets have got to go.” Jason protested but she remained adamant as only a somewhat fastidious big sister can be and began stripping the bed. Perhaps it was seeing her...

Added 27 Jun 2014 | Category Taboo | Votes 13 | Avg Score 4.92 | Views 21,026 | 6 Comments

Feels So Right, It Can’t Be Wrong: Chapter 1

Horny, nervous, and half-naked, Kelly Layton peeked through the open bedroom door. Inside, her kid brother, make that her kid stepbrother, lay stretched out on his unmade bed, reading a paperback. But he’s no kid, thought Kelly. Not anymore. Though still just eighteen, with his athletic build, dark hair, eyes the same steel-gray as his father’s, and a smile that could get him laid in...

Added 25 Jun 2014 | Category Taboo | Votes 21 | Avg Score 5 | Views 40,758 | 7 Comments

Reuniting

The old-style Checker cab inched away from the congested airport loading zone,then pulled out into the cold, rainy January evening and headed for a downtown hotel. Inside, Gwen studied Mark's face. For all she knew, he might have found someone special while back home. Hesitantly, even shyly, she asked, "Did you miss me?” Mark nodded, "You were all I could think about on the flight up....

Added 30 Mar 2014 | Category Flash Erotica | Votes 19 | Avg Score 4.74 | Views 4,813 | 14 Comments

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Friends Comments
Friends Comments

elizabethblack
Posted: 26 Aug 2016 17:33

elizabethblack
Posted: 02 Jul 2016 20:08

WellMadeMale
Posted: 31 May 2016 14:47
Your honky tonk can use an upgrade, chief...


Gillianleeeza
Posted: 13 May 2016 15:03
I never thought of making them into necklaces. I'll have to give it a try.

elizabethblack
Posted: 16 Apr 2016 20:44

Gillianleeeza
Posted: 09 Apr 2016 17:41
Waiting for my drink and more umbrellas.

Milik_the_Red
Posted: 26 Mar 2016 22:43

elizabethblack
Posted: 26 Mar 2016 20:29
Happy Easter and Congratulations, but keep those tears dried away

Gillianleeeza
Posted: 25 Mar 2016 21:29
I'm pretty sure she'd win the contest. I'll just keep drinking.

Gillianleeeza
Posted: 21 Mar 2016 17:02
Can't decide if I should go out back to the dumpster. I think I'll drink inside for awhile.
Lush
Posted: 17 Mar 2016 00:20
Happy Birthday from the Lush team.

biggym
Posted: 16 Mar 2016 17:13
Happy Happy Birthday!!! Know it will be a naughty day. Stay naked and hard. Enjoy.

Buz
Posted: 02 Mar 2016 20:16

elizabethblack
Posted: 14 Feb 2016 19:37
Have a great Valentine weekend

Buz
Posted: 23 Dec 2015 16:06
Merry Christmas, Rumpy!


Buz
Posted: 07 Dec 2015 20:28

Buz
Posted: 31 Oct 2015 08:13

Poppet
Posted: 14 Sep 2015 19:20
Thank you for celebrating my birthday with me.


elizabethblack
Posted: 27 Aug 2015 11:45
Thanks for adding me........

HotWife4U
Posted: 27 Aug 2015 10:29
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