About RumpleForeskin

Biography

Just your typical run down, beaten down, slapped down, broken down, shot down, hung down, put down, and kicked around old blind porn writer who's been beaten up, tied up, chewed up, blown up, hung up, screwed up, messed up, held up, and told to shut the fuck up.

Name:
Rumple Foreskin
Sex:
Male 
Age:
70
Sign:
Pisces
Relationship Status:
Married
Orientation:
Straight
Location:
Lost in the desert west of Apache Junction, USA , Arizona, United States
Local Time:
27 May 2017 04:59
Interests:
recreational sex, writing about sex, thinking about sex, reading about sex, etc.
Favorite Books:
Those written by: William Faulkner Ernest Hemingway John Steinbeck Walter Mosley Alan Furst Elmore Leonard Raymond Chandler P.G. Wodehouse George MacDonald Fraser Kinky Friedman Flannery O'Connor Eudora Welty Walker Percy among others
Favorite Movies:
Primarily comedies: A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum It's A Mad Mad Mad Mad World Dr. Strangelove Support Your Local Sheriff/Gunfighter The Blues Brothers plus the films of: The Marx Brothers W.C. Fields Woody Allen Mel Brooks
Favorite Music:
Almost anything with the exception of: rap, polka, and a-tonal
Website:

Statistics

Date Joined:
03 Jul 2009
Last Visit:
26 May 2017 (7 hours ago)
Page Viewed:
27,283 times
Friends:
65
Followers:
74
Days in Chat:
0
Days on Site:
30+
Forum Posts:
3,797
Stories:
32
Badges:
16

Latest Forum Posts More forum posts »

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 26 May 2017 19:33

Punky, I have a proposition for you and Phil. Buz left some of the 'Hunch Punch' he and his frat brothers used back in college as part of their unending efforts to obtain a little piece...or something like that. Basically it's what you asked for, plus some booze (191 proof Everclear is a fav) along with some semi-fresh fruit. You two Aussies up for a try?

For the rest of you, three frosted mugs of Bloated Bladder Beer. Enjoy.

Anybody else want something to wet their whistle?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 26 May 2017 17:47

(slides two LIT's, with double-shots of vodka, over to Ping) That first mowing can be a challenge. Hope these help.

Interesting suggestions. I especially like the 'Lush Love' concept.

Any more orders?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 26 May 2017 16:21

Hang in there, G-Man. You are one tough hombre. Here's your sweet tea.

By now, everyone should have their order. If not, just do what comes naturally for this crowd...bitch.

It's probably just me, but sometimes the notification of new posts works like a charm,. But there are days when it seems to take a long nap. Anybody else ever notice that?

With Nic promising to begin thinking about another contest, should we, the SACC (Self-Appointed Contest Consultants) of Lush, once again lend a hand by suggesting possible subjects?

All right, already, who wants a refill or needs a first drink?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: The 'No New Contest' Blues
Posted: 26 May 2017 15:12

Thanks, Mike. I wondered what happened to that last post of mine, (meant for the Rumplations thread). That it ended up here is just more proof one should not post in the morning before finishing at least one cup of coffee. ;)

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 26 May 2017 07:23

TGIF greetings to all planning on a long weekend. If those plans include attending a 'Beltane' festival, well, good luck.

As Burquette noted, the Pittsburgh Penguins now advance to the Stanley Cup after a 3-2 double-overtime, game seven win over the Senators from Ottawa.

Most folks seem to want coffee except, of course, for BC who needs an ice cold lemonade to get her through the afternoon. It's tomorrow in Zealandia and Aussie Land. Not sure what those folks might want, something to keep them partying or something to put 'em to sleep. So what'll y'all have?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: The 'No New Contest' Blues
Posted: 26 May 2017 05:57

Greetings to those gearing up and/or recovering from TGIF celebrations. Also and in addition, if you'll be attending a Beltane festival, well, good luck.

Mega-congrat to all fans of the Pittsburgh Penguins for their team's 3-2 double-overtime game seven, semi-final win verses the Senators from Ottawa.
Seems like Annie, Burquette and I have the joint to ourselves. Not sure why anyone would want the place, much less your beloved barkeep, but there you have it. Would either of you rather have coffee or tea or get right down to some serious drinking?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 25 May 2017 13:35

Not saying a good time was had by all last night, but the bottle of Tylenol is now half-empty/full and we're on the second (third?) batch of Bertha's best.

So who's ready for some 'hair of the dog that chewed on your ass'? Maybe another hit of coffee laced with an unhealthy dose of Beaver Breath to help settle the nerves?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 25 May 2017 05:06

Morning greetings to Mike and all Rumplations regulars, especially the ones still recovering from the tequila overload last night

(quietly places a mug filled with hot, frothing coffee in front of Mike and, in a low voice says...) Something tells me Big Bertha may have her work cut out for her today with all the Thursday morning hangovers.

As a special service to the aching and afflicted, there's a bottle of Tylanol included among the condo-mints. So what'll y'all have?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 24 May 2017 21:01

Ping wrote: Well, after a little drinking and some dirty pole dancing, I suggest we debate what the hell the kangaroo was doing in the Papal Gardens in The Young Pope!

Wait! Wait! Don't tell me! Let me guess. I got it!
They were discussing life, it's consequences and inevitabilities...right? ;)

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 24 May 2017 20:44

Seems a craving for tequila has been flung on the clientele. Good thing we just got in a case of Tombstone Tequila in two-liter bottles.

eta: Gil, you want a tequila shooter to go with that beer? I'll put a couple umbrellas in both glasses.

Tanya, if you're going to keep your bra off, then sign up for Laura's Pole Dancing competition.

Ping, that thread should attract a lot of folks.

Punkster! Good to have you among us. I'll slide the first mug of Bloated Bladder Beer sort of towards you so be on alert, even it that Lert raises hell.

Okay, order-wise, who's next?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

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Stories Published By RumpleForeskin All Stories »

Adieu, Alan

His candle burned at both ends, It could not last the night.   But readers and friends all agree, It gave such a marvelous...

Added 26 Mar 2017 | Category Love Poems | Votes 31 | Avg Score 4.86 | Views 409 | 29 Comments

Served Just Right

  They were young, restless, and bored beyond depression. The two nursing students had been in Gwen’s cramped, single-person, dorm room since coming back from supper, smoking and joking, talking about school, men, and life while playing Beatles LP’s, keeping the incense burner going, and steadily draining the bottle of bourbon Mark had left, "for safe keeping," before flying home for a...

Added 09 Feb 2017 | Category Lesbian | Votes 13 | Avg Score 4.92 | Views 6,384 | 9 Comments

A Parting Gift To Remember

From her position draped over the back of an old, stuffed armchair, Lynn felt the fresh load of cum oozing out of her throbbing pussy, working its way through matted pubic hairs, then sliding down trembling inner thighs until it dripped onto the floor.  The thick cream felt cool on her hot, flushed, skin.  With Bob’s help, she struggled to her feet, turned around and hugged him. It had been...

Added 23 Dec 2016 | Category Flash Erotica | Votes 21 | Avg Score 5 | Views 2,495 | 17 Comments

What Are Friends For?

She blew in like a pissed off F5 tornado, shouted, "Don't say a fucking thing,” slammed the door shut,and slung her purse across the room. It ricocheted away from my butt-weary couch, cleared off the end table, then teetered briefly at the edge before following the displaced debris onto the floor. Only the reading lamp survived, leaning drunkenly against the wall, shade tilted at a...

Added 20 Aug 2016 | Category Love Stories | Votes 15 | Avg Score 5 | Views 3,831 | 13 Comments

Afternoon Aftermath

For Cindy Davis, it had been a weekend of unbelievable firsts. She had just spent two nights in a mid-town hotel room making almost constant love with Ray, a man she barely knew. Of course, it had been a once-in-a-lifetime experience, no doubt about that. He’d been alone, a long way from home and had needed her. Still, it marked the first time she’d ever cheated on her fiance', which...

Added 21 Apr 2016 | Category Reluctance | Votes 17 | Avg Score 4.88 | Views 9,993 | 10 Comments

Treats First then the Trick

It was a fantastic fuck. Randi Druitt's sex-charged body writhed and shuddered. A large, powerfully built man lay between her widespread legs. With deep, fluid strokes, he pumped his demanding cock in and out of her very willing pussy. Each thrust left her gasping with passion and wanting more. The freckle-faced redhead lay nude on the backseat of an old Buick, parked on the far side of a...

Added 21 Oct 2015 | Category Cheating | Votes 11 | Avg Score 5 | Views 6,918 | 7 Comments

Recommended Read Getting A Lot Of What She Wants

The thick, glistening shaft slipped from Cindy’s mouth like a long, sexy serpent. When the swollen cockhead came into view, she lapped at its smooth surface while glancing up at her husband. Ray’s big, nude body was sprawled comfortably on their living room couch. Curly blonde hair cushioned his head against the wall. Those blue eyes she adored so much were shut. His lips were parted. It...

Added 28 Sep 2015 | Category Fetish | Votes 15 | Avg Score 5 | Views 6,264 | 17 Comments

Of Love and War and Donna Lynn

It was another turbulent day in the summer of 68. Student protests raged from the Sorbonne to Berkeley. In the US, civil rights demonstrations and anti-war rallies were turning violent. Martin Luther King was dead; Bobby Kennedy would be soon. In South Vietnam, hundreds of other Americans were being killed each month. Soldiers patrolled the streets of Saigon, Paris, and Washington while...

Added 31 Aug 2015 | Category Historical | Votes 18 | Avg Score 4.83 | Views 1,955 | 17 Comments

A Different Sort of Cramming

Textbooks and study notes showered down from the bouncing mattress of a venerable four-poster bed as a long, thick, column of rigid flesh kept up a steady rhythm of lust and need, surging back and forth past stretched, slightly irritated pussy lips that clutch tightly around the unyielding shaft relentlessly cramming its engorged cock head into the inner most depths of a wet, stuffed...

Added 27 Aug 2015 | Category Quickie Sex | Votes 7 | Avg Score 5 | Views 8,314 | 5 Comments

Feels So Right It Can’t Be Wrong: chapter 3

Kelly woke in her stepbrother’s bed cuddled next to his nude body. The sheet barely covered his morning erection. She thought about teasing him awake, it struck her as the big-sisterly thing to do, but then rolled onto her back, stretched, and immediately dozed off and slipped into yet another rerun of her dreams. Like most of those she’d had recently, they involved sex. Unlike the...

Added 30 Jun 2014 | Category Taboo | Votes 16 | Avg Score 5 | Views 22,350 | 9 Comments

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Friends Comments


Buz
Posted: 19 May 2017 21:13

browncoffee
Posted: 27 Apr 2017 06:23

elizabethblack
Posted: 15 Apr 2017 21:08
Love Bessie Smith - thanks for the reminder

Simmerdownchick
Posted: 13 Apr 2017 22:49



Simmerdownchick
Posted: 27 Mar 2017 17:36
Lilly
Posted: 17 Mar 2017 16:42

biggym
Posted: 17 Mar 2017 03:10
Happy Happy Birthday!!! Know it will be a naughty fun day. Stay naked and hard. Enjoy and smile.
Lush
Posted: 17 Mar 2017 00:20
Happy Birthday from the Lush team.
Lydia_
Posted: 16 Mar 2017 17:26

Milik_the_Red
Posted: 05 Mar 2017 17:11

Simmerdownchick
Posted: 03 Mar 2017 22:58






Simmerdownchick
Posted: 02 Mar 2017 19:13
Thanks for accepting my friend request~

Simmerdownchick
Posted: 02 Mar 2017 19:12


browncoffee
Posted: 02 Mar 2017 01:13

Buz
Posted: 28 Feb 2017 12:30
Bill, I'm dropping a few bottles of Southern Comfort off to celebrate with you. It seems some of us southern gentleman are appreciated. Congratulations!


browncoffee
Posted: 01 Feb 2017 13:53

HeraTeleia
Posted: 09 Jan 2017 20:52
Thank you for the add, love!


Milik_the_Red
Posted: 31 Dec 2016 13:30

Buz
Posted: 23 Dec 2016 14:50
Merry Christmas, Rumpy!


ChuckEPoo
Posted: 05 Oct 2016 10:59
Thanks for adding me.
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