Forum posts made by rumpleforeskin

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 13 Dec 2017 08:52

Scott, you sound like a man with needs...though I'm no expert when it comes to shoveling that white stuff. In fact, being a true son of the south who grew up in a small town with no sidewalks, I don't recall ever shoveling it. That said, I do recall sweating my kishkas out while mowing and mowing and mowing some more during the six-month growing season down here.

Anyway, here's ya very hot: coffee, tea, and coco all enhanced with a significant slug of BBB. Get warm.

Any more call for something hot or cold?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 13 Dec 2017 06:47

How you all are? Me, I'm feeling fine as frog's hair. I mean, there's just 'No Moore' to say today. ;)

Got a PM from Laura. Seems the Kiwi cutey will be taking time off from the 'puter to do summertime stuff in her real world. Guess that doesn't include hanging-out at this seedy joint and its disgusting old barkeep...or maybe it's the other way around?

Also got a PM from, Kind of Heart, yesterday which contained this tidbit about his new sub which he describes as an: ...erotic poem describing the act of love and the pleasure that comes from the propinquity of naked flesh in lyrical detail.

The title is: A Paean to Concupiscence or The Joy of Fucking

Once you've put away your unabridged dictionaries, check it out.

Gil, hope there's now some peace in your valley.

Hannah, here's whatever the heck it was that Lyf ordered for you. Good luck.

What we ggot is an abundance of hot coffee, hot water, cool beer, tepid wine, and fine lickers. So whadda ya would-be best selling authors want to drink?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 12 Dec 2017 06:06

Greetings to all who wander in the weeds along the great information highway. Come in and make yourself to home in the weediest eye-sore in all of Lushland.

Has anyone heard anything about the next contest: theme, schedule, my chances of winning it all? (That last one is a joke, honest. We do not need a bunch of wise-ass replies beginning with a minus sign.)

Big Bertha is indicating she's full of it, caffeinated goodness and hot water for tea, that is. There's also beer, wine and fine lickers available for your delectation. So whadda ya clowns want to drink?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 11 Dec 2017 20:54

Evening, fellow western hemispheriacs. Sorry about the slower than usual service. The Monday Night Football game proved to be much better than expected with the Dolphins whipping the Pats by a TD down in Miami.

Okay, we got a Margarita for Ms Sara, a shot of vodka for Lyf, and a couple beers for Jeff and Scott. Hope that slakes your needs, fluidly speaking.

Anybody else need something to ease the day's stress?

glasses8

Topic Which category?
Posted 11 Dec 2017 12:02

On another site, a friend advised me that when picking a story category, 'Go with the one that will piss off the fewest readers.'

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 11 Dec 2017 11:14

The 'Johnny Wad Significant Signature Line' (it's really long) is back! Thanks, Jeff. Life is good. ;)

Okay, two coffee's and two teas. I'm thinking (more or less) that Tawny's a bit soft on Larry. There's actually some Half and Half. Guess it's true about those actor guys getting all the gals.

Anybody else out there need some liquid refreshment? We do have some that contains alcohol...just in case you were wondering.

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 11 Dec 2017 05:04

Greetings, gropers and groupees. It's been Monday for hours now. Odds are it's gonna last for several more...and on both sides of the pond. Sorry about that.

Tawny is busy dusting the place and clearing off cobwebs, especially the ones between Coma and Tose. Not saying things were a little slow around here this weekend,but things were most definitely not fast paced. That said, here's hoping everyone had a good weekend.

And speaking of Ms T,according to her, what we ain't got, in addition to paying customers, is some mistletoe. Y'all think that stuff is really needed around here?

Me, Thanks to 'Big Bertha' being full of caffeinated goodness, I'm about the have another mug of her coffee-like product. There's also hot water, cold beer, warm wine and, of course, our fine lickers. So whadda ya Monday moaners wanna drink?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 10 Dec 2017 12:15

One MC heading Scott's way. Enjoy.

Anybody else need their fluids refilled?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 10 Dec 2017 05:38

Greetings, to all fellow citizens of Lushland and subjects of 'Her Royal Spriteness'.

There are probably some who are anticipating me making snide remarks about a certain north-of-the-border type Rumplator who seems to have forgotten that Toronto has a pretty good major league baseball team. But that's not my style. After a certain age, the brain has trouble getting into any forward gear in the morning...trust me on that one. ;)

Maybe a mug or two of Big Bertha's Best made with some sort of Canadian coffee bean and enhanced with a stiff shot (or two) of a fine brandy from the north woods will get him rolling. Then again, maybe not.

What about the rest of youse guys? I mean to say, whadda ya want to drink?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 09 Dec 2017 17:37

Major congratulations, Lyf! Any time a team you've been following ends the season as a winner, it's a major feel-good. Enjoy. And your shampain is on the way.

Sara, coffee with brandy at the end of the day is a goodness. Hope you and yours are thriving up there in the high altitudes.

Any more orders? Just for the record, you don't have to be celebrating a big victory to down a few drinks. At least that's what I've been told.

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 09 Dec 2017 13:32

Well, I finally got it up! Yep, my latest insult to good taste and the English language has slipped by Mod Central and made it onto the main page.

'Feels So Right, It Can't be Wrong: Chapter 4 (Taboo)...

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/taboo/feels-so-right-it-cant-be-wrong-3.aspx

...is the story of two young, cunnilingusly inclined cousins (Kelly and Sissy) alone at home on a dreary winter's day.

There is a Sprite approved scene where , Sissy, the younger cousin, reveals that she was once almost forced into oral sex by the other cousin's now ex-boyfriend. Since then she has been afraid of being alone with men.

And as we used to say when finishing a book report in grammar school, 'If you wanna find out what happens next, you'll have to read the story yourself.' ;)

So if anyone shows up today (been a long time since Ping popped in) I'd be obliged if they'd check it out and let me know how it can be improved.

Meanwhile, I'll just follow the Army/Navy football game and wonder what anyone who wanders in might want to drink.

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 09 Dec 2017 07:37

-- Have I ever mentioned how much I hate, loathe, and despise double-posts? I have? Well, my opinion hasn't changed one little bit. Trust me on this one. :(

But since there's space going to waste, I'll repost the link to, 'Santa Baby' by Ertha Kitt.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g7T0IK99ELs

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 09 Dec 2017 07:37

Don't mind me, I'm just gfinishing the routine opening check-list...set out condo-mints for the coffee and tea crowd (check), make sure the lava lamp is on (check), shoved an8-track cartridge of seasonal favorites into the Rumplations' sound system--. Say what? Tawny must have been messing with the vintage collections. What I wanted to play was that ultra sexy 'Santa Baby' by Ertha Kitt, but instead got, Grandma Got Run Over by a Raindeer.' (shudder) After that I'll need an extra shot of BBB in my morning mug of Big Bertha Brew.

Now, unless there's something else for me to piddle with in a time-wasting sort of way, guess I'm stuck with trying to, once again, re-sub my story. Probably gonna just delete what's showing now and start from scratch. Hmm, might need a third shot of BBB for all that. But first I'll swap out those cartridges and get me an earful of Ms Ertha...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g7T0IK99ELs

What about the rest of you. Big Bertha's eager to put out coffee and hot water for tea, and there's our usual selection of dubious beer, watery wine, and fine lickers. So whadda ya escapees from normalacy want to drink?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 08 Dec 2017 10:12

Way to go, Jeff! Scott has already gotten his up, so to speak. IMO, it might be the best of the entire series. But as for me, so far I'm still, well, let's just say, not up. :(

Got to agree with you about our Curvy-unit. She is most definitely a keeper. Here's you a 'cuppa' Ms c..

Since it's snowing from London to Houston, there's a 'One-for-Two' special today (one drink for the price of two, if you must ask) on 'hot' drinks such as hot rum toddies, along with fortified coffee, tea, and hot chocolate. So whadda y'all want?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 08 Dec 2017 06:39

Jeff, after what you drove through, wouldn't you prefer a mug full of Safeway Select Whiskey laced with a generous dose of Big Bertha's Best?

Shame you didn't submit today. Maybe we could have new stories by Scott, you and me posted on the same day. On second thought, that might not be best for Lush's literary standards. ;)

Anybody else need a drink and/or a refill?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 08 Dec 2017 05:43

Morning, Scott. Here's your Beaver Breath Brandy laced with a stiffening dose of Big Bertha's hot, brownish, caffeinated elixir.

Thhanks for the sympathy about my Saints and congrats on the story sub. Sometimes you just gotta let 'em go. There's a chance both our stories will get posted today. Wouldn't that be just hunky-dory marvelous? ;)

Anybody else need something to stiffen...their resolve to face the day, that is?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 08 Dec 2017 04:02

TGIF greetings to all the goodand especially the bad Lushlanders. And before someone makes the snarky crack, yep, your beloved barkeep has 'the ugly' role nailed.

My Saints lost last night, 17-20, to Buz's Falcons. Just more proof about how it rains on both the just and unjust. (sigh)

Still, yesterday wasn't a total loss. Rumplations' own, 'Love-Child' ,and 'Her Royal Spriteness' to the entire Lush nation, are now, officially, listed among my friends. To be honest, I thought we already were, but my screwing up on 'friend request' is not an unknown event.

Enough with the chit-chat (btw, what the heck is a 'chit'?) The official sacred and ceremonial coffee urn (that'd be, Big Bertha) is just full of goodness she's eager to share and our spirits are well and truly fermented. So whadda ya purveyors of pristine porn want to drink?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 07 Dec 2017 15:59

Hot tea for the creative Ms H. And yet another rum and Coke for Scott.

This is your first and last official warning that in just over an hour, Buz's Atlanta Falcons will host my New Orleans Saints.If my Saints win, it'll just about cinch them a NFL playoff spot. If Buz's Falcons prevail, they'll stay alive in the playoff picture.

Consider yourselves warned. ;)

Hannah and Scott have their's. What about the rest of you?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 07 Dec 2017 11:42

Seems like we got a lot of frigid folks in here today. Only Scott of the north woods is ordering a cold drink (here ya go, blizzard breath). Meanwhile, Curvy get some more hot tea while it's hot coffee for Jeff and Larry.

Now it's back to the word processor for me. My story was 'removed' due to the scene with the teen telling about being sexually assaulted which I was worrying about earlier today. (sigh)

There's still more coffee available and our spirits are high, but not too expensive. So wahdda ya want to drink?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 07 Dec 2017 07:59

Curvy, ya need a refill on that tea?

Here ya go, Larry. (slides over mug filled to the brim with Big Bertha's Best Brew)

This might come as a surprise to you, but I'm pretty good at sitting and drinking coffee. It's that thinking part that keeps giving me trouble. ;)

Any more orders...for something to drink, that is?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 07 Dec 2017 06:21

Many thanks, your Spriteness.

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 07 Dec 2017 05:48

Greetings, to all my fellow Lushketeers.

Just for the record, I'm not taking sides in the current dust-up over on the Site Announcement forum about the new, not-yet-officially announced category, Mind Control. If a mind is really a terrible thing to waste, well, my mind's been terribly wasted for years.

Help: I'm about to submit a new story 'Feels So Right It Can't Be Wrong pt 4' as part of a series I last fiddled with four-years ago. It began life as a sibling incest trilogy, then metamorphosed into a step-sibling Taboo triple-play. I'd always intended to make it a five-parter but got bored with it and moved on.

What I need is a Mod's opinion about a short scene where a female h/s senior 'tells' about being forced into oral sex. I emphasized 'tell' because there are no details, no explicit 'show', at least not,imo.

I'm asking for a volunteer 'cause I don't want to dump this on someone who doesn't care for that subject or is too busy to think straight. If no one bites the bullet, I'll submit 'as is' and take my chances.

Anyone who read that appeal probably needs a strong drink about now. Big Bertha's coffee has been cooking all night so it should go well with some BBB. Stronger spirits are also available. So what'll y'all have?

glasses8

Topic Word for the day
Posted 07 Dec 2017 05:20

Morning, Love.

epistolary

note: used that word in my comment on Ping's new horror story. He said his RR had nothing to do with Episcopalians. ;)

glasses8

Topic Just noticed ANOTHER new story category... Mind Control
Posted 07 Dec 2017 02:08

Mind control?

Wouldn't it take one to control one?

Better scratch that from my list of Lush category possibilities. (sigh)

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 07 Dec 2017 00:35

It's after midnight out here in the desert. That means it's time to proclaim:

Good morning, England. This unasked for and probably unwelcome overly hearty salutation also includes the rest of Great Britain and the entire United Kingdom to include Northern Ireland! Whew, that dang near wore me out.


Me, I wrote: Has anybody heard anything about the next contest?

Sprite wrote: tentacle love. 20,000 word minimum. Regaeman Man

Oh say it ain't so, Ms Rachel, the prospect of writing 20k words of tentacle sex might be too much excitement for poor Jeff. (imagine some sort of smilie indicating less than totally sincere concern)

But seriously folks, well, sorta semi-serious, I'm wondering if there could be an 'open' contest for entries in any of the first-time 'new' story categories. Might even allow Lushers to enter either one or two stories (max of about 5k combine) if more stories is desired and the judges don't threaten to go out on strike.

Me, what I done got is ideas. It's getting them up and running that's a bit tricky.

Big Bertha is making all those disgusting noises that indicate a good time and her version of coffee is on the way. She'll be glad to provide hot water for tea and coco, of course. And as always, our selevtion of spirits is just damn near spiritual. So whadda ya have?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 06 Dec 2017 12:37

Ping's new story is posted.

It's good, very very, good.

Go read, "Red Delusion," ASAP.

BTW, ya want a mug full of something hot and/or something cold to sip while you're reading?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 06 Dec 2017 05:05

Greetings to all who wander in seeking comfort only to get lost while searching for the joint's only semi-useable comfort station.

Thanks for the 'thumbs up' Buz. Your check is in the mail. Just ignore all those nasty NSF stamps on the poor thing.

eta: Pity poor Ping. (slides over a mug filled to the rim with Bertha's Best Brew) Drink a few of these, Brother P and you'll forget all about all that editing...and most other things.

Has anybody heard anything about the next contest? Me, I'm guessing 'She who must be obeyed' will wait until after the holidays then hit us with a biggie. We, as ne'er-do-well Rumplators should probably once again take on the thankless mission of coming up with unasked for suggestions for contest themes, or maybe not.

Of course, all that thinking will require some serious drinking to help lubricate what's left of our brains. There's coffee (for stimulation), hot water (for tea and coco), beer (sorta), wine (kinda) and our selection of renowned fine lickers. So whadda ya repeat offenders of good taste want to drink?

glasses8

Topic Announcing our new Lush Adult Porn Tube
Posted 06 Dec 2017 02:40

Nicola wrote: Nho.

Me, I wrote: Ms Nic, you need to stop beating around the proverbial bush and just cut to the chase...imo. ;)

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 05 Dec 2017 05:29

It's morning...except on the other side of the pond where it's afternoon...except way east of Suez where it's night (I think).

Anyway, Big Berthah is bubbling and churning to beat the band (not sure which band) and there's a fresh supply of skunky beer, plus sour wine and our traditional assortment of fine lickers. So whadda ya refugees from reality want to drink?

glasses8

Topic feedback from readers
Posted 05 Dec 2017 00:24

Rod, here's the deal with comments. If you want to get story comments, give story comments.

While Lush is a writing site, it is also a social center for many folks who like to chat and post on forums. I'm much to modest to suggest you stop by the 'Rumplations Cyber Honky-Tonk thread - see my sig line - in The Pub forum, but a lot of folks, including Seeker and Buz do, and posting a bit more than 32 times shouldn't hurt your chances of getting more comments...at least not much. )

If you do begin to post more, consider adding a link to some of your stories in your sig line. Don't worry, doing that is so easy a blind old fart can do it, trust me on that one.

Anyway, add a link to your story here and/or in your sig line and/or on a post at Rumplations and no telling what might happen.

glasses8 ;)