Forum posts made by rumpleforeskin

Topic 'American English'
Posted 26 Jul 2016 10:38

You two have gotten me sooooo confused. ;)

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Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 25 Jul 2016 20:58

Now, now Gil. One at a time, please. Don't want the things to start melting on you. Besides, making that many might burn out the machine which is, after all, a fine product of, Absurdistan. Oh yeah, if it didn't burn out the machine, it'd probably blow yet another fuse and, just between you and me, I'm about out of pennies to use as 'temporary' replacements.

So here's your extra tall, extra cold, and extra loaded with cocktail umbrellas, daiquiri. Enjoy, while I get a second one started.

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Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 25 Jul 2016 18:18

Evening, Gil. Ain't it strange how dem a/c units never seem to go out in the winter? A most definite puzzlement.

So you're telling me you need something cool. Well, that eliminates most of this joint's clientele.

(long pause for a short thought) Okay, keep this a secret, but last weekend we got in a frozen drink machine. Right now it's set-up to churn out frozen strawberry daiquiris. Care to test drive the first one?

So what do the rest of you want?

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Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 25 Jul 2016 16:43

Greetings, Buz. One 'this' coming up. ;)

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Topic 'American English'
Posted 24 Jul 2016 20:34

Here at LUSH, there are two very noticeable UK/US usage variations which almost always toss me out of a story, usually with a laugh.

knickers -- panties
arse -- ass

What I find interesting is the large number of differences in transportation related items: boot/trunk, motorway/highway, car park/parking lot and on and on.

Still, it's all proof that English remains an ever evolving language. As dem frogs are always saying, Vive la difference.

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Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 24 Jul 2016 16:48

You two comics have been having way too much fun. :)

If tequila soaked worms is what's wanted, your choices are: a rusty old tin can filled with earthworms, quality time with, Phil, the Phallicly challenged Perv, or finish off the rest of this case of, Tokilla Mockingbird Tequila.

So what'll it be?

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Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 22 Jul 2016 23:41

Hi ya, Doc. Just opened a new case of, Tokilla Mockingbird Tequila. And before you ask, yes, there is a worm or two in the bottom of the bottle, along with some other odds and ends. I'd advise against straight shooters. Last person to try that is now sitting over there with Coma and Tose at the 'One Too Many' table. Still, you probably have some IQ to spare; so what'll it be?

Keep on keeping on in SD.

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Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 22 Jul 2016 20:50

Greetings, Gil. Ah, memories of wet t-shirts past. ;)

If Long Island Tea isn't your thing, what about a, Mint Julip? I think we've got some mint left over from the, 'Derby Days Drunken Debauch.'

And speaking of drunken debauches, Verbal's latest Shards'', an erotic tale of online shopping (honest), is now on the main page. For once, I remembered to copy a link to post here. With luck, it might accidentally work.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/flash-erotica/shard-610-people-who-bought-this-item.aspx

Okay, who's next?

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Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 22 Jul 2016 09:14

Here ya go, Seeker. A pint of our best, okay, make that our only, ale.

BTW, no question that t-shirt is a classic, but so was its contents.

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Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 21 Jul 2016 19:49

Greetings, Gil. What about a tall, cool, Long Island Tea? And if you spill any on your chest, well... .

Your mentioning a wet t-shirt contest reminded me of a visual that left a most favorable, and lasting, impression on me. In the film, "The Deep" Jacqueline Bisset, wore a very thin and very wet, t-shirt. Don't recall anything about the film except, of course, for Ms Bissett's screen presence. ;)

Ready for a refill?

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Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 20 Jul 2016 23:00

Greetings, dwellers in the, Land of Lush. (sips on a mug of thick Louisiana coffee fortified with a dose of, Beaver Breath Brandy) In case y'all missed the big news, Lush has just cranked up another writing contest. Max word count is 5k, deadline is August 30, top prize is $150.00.. Stories should have a 'sports' thene.

Now this is just my opinion, you understand, but I'm thinking a drunken game of strip poker is not exactly what Nicola (aka: she who must be obeyed) has in mind. On the other hand,, I'm wondering what the record is for the most miles covered during a sex session in the back seat of a moving car. ;)

BTW, we got a half-empty box of doughnut holes someone left out back by the dumpster hot tub. Give 'em a try. I'm told that Norovirus is a big hit among staffers at the RNC in Cleveland.

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Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 18 Jul 2016 19:09

Okay, one quart of 'Tequila Mockingbird' and a loose joint that may or may not be oregano, for Seeker.

And for our high flying Dr. V, one double palliative on the rocks.

So what do the rest of you cheapskates want?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 18 Jul 2016 10:29


Like


― Something that will make me write like Hunter S. Thompson.Regaeman Man
Okay, Seeker, if you insist. Here's the HST menu from "Fear and Loathing in LV"

“We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers... and also a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of Budweiser, a pint of raw ether and two dozen amyls.
Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get locked into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can.”

So what'll ya have?

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Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 18 Jul 2016 06:30

Greetings, Lushlanders. It strikes me as one of those great, cosmic coincidences that today marks the first day of the GOP convention and the birthday of the great American who said: “I hate to advocate for drugs, alcohol, violence or insanity to anyone … but they’ve always worked for me.”

That's right, on this day in history, the inspiration for 'Uncle Duke' in the Doonsbury comic strip and notorious gonzo journalist, Hunter S. Thompson, emerged into a world that may never be ready for someone like him.

So what'll y'all have to drink?


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Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 13 Jul 2016 14:51

Greetings, Lushlanders. Has anyone made any sort of contact with Mike (aka OceanRunner). After he ordered Guinness on the rocks last night, I've been worried some rag-tag IRA hold outs may be gunning for him. (sigh)

There is some good news, however. Verbal has just posted his latest 'Shards' flash fiction piece. IM (very humble) O, it's one of the best. I'd post a link but I forgot to and I'm way too lazy to go back for one. Still it should be on the main page for the rest of the day.

By the way, just in case anyone is wondering: If either Clinton or Trump asks me to be their Vice-Presidential candidate, I'd make like Gen. Sherman and refuse to either run, or if elected, serve.

So what'll you deadbeats have to drink?

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Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 12 Jul 2016 18:36

Guinness...on the rocks? Isn't that, you know, sacriligious? I mean, isn't there a danger some IRA splinter group will be coming for you to have an 'up close and personal' discussion about Irish pride and drinking beer that's the temperature of warm spit?

Still, I have a bottle left over from last St. Patrick's day so why not? Just, if you don't mind, please pay when served. ;)

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Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 12 Jul 2016 17:55

Hello, Hidden. Stop by next time you're in the neighborhood, Ms Desire.. And bring Darkstarfish with you...or vice versa.

Okay, who needs a refill?

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Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 12 Jul 2016 14:58

Greetings, Gil. If you can't find a suitable glamour shot in the future, I'm sure the photo on your driver's license would do. ;)

As for you drink, there's a rum and lime drink called a, Mojito. The other three ingrediants are: sugar, soda, and mint. Care to give that a try?

Bet you're wondering what a simple-minded reneck barkeep is doing spouting off about a fancy Cuban cocktail. Well, just for your info, the drink plays a key role in a very 'Neighborly' story on the main page. Check it out while you sip your concoction.

So what'll the rest of you peckerwoods want to drink?

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Topic Has the UK replaced the US as the political laughingstock of the world?
Posted 11 Jul 2016 20:13

After reading every post on this thread I started, and cogitating on the original question, "I'm of the opinion that,as Tiny Tim observed, God bless Us, Every One!"

The Right Rev. Rumple Foreskin glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 10 Jul 2016 13:41

Greetings, Gil. Glad you didn't get 'up close and personal' with any jellyfish this weekend. As for a 'light' drink, would a Mimosa tempt you?

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Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 08 Jul 2016 19:50

One 'Lovely Rita' on the rocks coming up.

You got a new 'Shard' coming our way?

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Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 08 Jul 2016 19:38

Buz, so you want scotch and a cigar, huh? Don't tell me you've hooked up with Miss Monica, again. ;)

Runner, I'll have you know that it is a truth, universally acknowledged, that the most embarrassing thing on the internet is, Rumplations.

Now that we've got that settled, what'll ya have to drink?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 08 Jul 2016 19:29

LJ, here's a double-shot of 'Gunga Gin' on the rocks.

Verbal, better drink carefully. 'Old Crow' is the booze that can turn drinking buddies into teetotalers. Here you go. Just please don't slosh any onto the bar. The stuff mars the finish.

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Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 08 Jul 2016 18:11

LJ! How ya been? We've had a run recently on mint julips which means the mint being used today is semi-fresh. Care for a tall, cool one or two?

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Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 06 Jul 2016 17:49

Here you go, Gil. (slides over a tall mint julep)

I'll have you know I actually made my way over to that pool of poetry, read your poem (which I'll admit to enjoying very much) voted (a five) and then screwed up my comment. And that's why I'm now posting it hear.

Your excellent erotica reminded me of an English lady-friend who would joke that she was giving up sex because it was: too strenuous, too messy, and the positions were ridiculous..at least I think she was joking.

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 05 Jul 2016 21:30

Gil, what about a gin and tonic (made with Rumplations' infamous 'Gunga Gin') or a mint julep with some mint that was, at one time, possibly real?

Verbal, back in the day, the beer rivalry was between Bud and Schlitz. As we Bud guys always noted: When you're out of Schlitz, you're out of Schlitz. Just so happens I have a six-pack of the stuff. Let me stick it in some dry ice for a minute. Get it cold enough and I'm told it's almost drinkable. ;)

Now what else will ya have to drink?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 05 Jul 2016 21:29

Gil, what about a gin and tonic (made with Rumplations' infamous 'Gunga Gin') or a mint julep with some mint that was, at one time, possibly real?

Verbal, back in the day, the beer rivalry was between Bud and Schlitz. As we Bud guys always noted: When you're out of Schlitz, you're out of Schlitz. Just so happens I have a six-pack of the stuff. Let me stick it in some dry ice for a minute. Get it cold enough and I'm told it's almost drinkable. ;)

Now what else will ya have to drink?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 05 Jul 2016 09:43

Greetings, Lushlanders. WMM, loved your musical tribute to Barry Manilow. :) But seriously, imagine that coming on when your alarm goes off the morning after a particularly excessive soiree.

Buz, all that carrying on yesterday sounds good except for that 10K run bit. Your only saving grace is saying you 'ran' instead of 'finished'.

So what'll y'all have to drink?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 04 Jul 2016 09:59

Greetings and salutations, Lushers. In celebration of the US of A's official 240th birthday, here's a little ditty about the red, white, and blue.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zaySXqQCSJ4

So what'll y'all have to drink?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 03 Jul 2016 12:12

Greetings, Gil. Sorry to hear you're still ailing. Don't suppose those jellyfish stings have helped the situation.

Many thanks for the birthday boobage.

I've been meaning to pass along the link to my Lush 'Humor' entry. It fared rather poorly, I fear, coming in at a woeful 4.6 with only 8 votes. Still, it might be worth a look-see on a slow day.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/humor/looking-for-sex-in-outdoor-places-a.aspx

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