Forum posts made by rumpleforeskin

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 20 Jan 2017 19:42

VG, it is only my respect for you as a writer and love for you as a human being (or vice versa) that I refrain from breaking into a rousing rendition of, "What's New Pussycat?"

BTW, VG's story is great, trust me on this one.


Well, the bad news is Trump is now President of the USA. The good news is he's been Prez for nearly eleven hours and things are still more or less okay...apparently. You know it's times like today when I feel sorry for hardcore atheists and folks who don't drink. Later, agitators. (Accompanied by the never faithful, Tanya, he heads for the couch in his office with a bible in one hand and a bottle of Wild Turkey in the other.)

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 20 Jan 2017 16:40

Okay, so BC wants brown coffee (don't we all?), Laura hankers for another Black Russian with a bit more Kahlua whil Buz wants a JD & Coke.

I told Mike the ending to his story reminded be a bit of the final scene in the 1966 film, "The Professionals". Ralph Bellamy is pissed at Lee Marvin.

J.W. Grant (Bellamy): You bastard.

Rico (Marvin): Yes, Sir. In my case an accident of birth. But you, Sir, you're a self-made man.

Highly recommended. BTW, the lushous Claudia Cardinale is the reason Bellamy's character is pissed.

Any refills, fresh drinks, thoughts on Claudia Cardinale?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 20 Jan 2017 15:44

(slides a Black Russian, light on the Kahlua heavy on the vodka, towards Laura and a Hannah towards, you know who.)

Mike, the exact rate for reading out loud will vary depending on the story and the reader, but a 'rule of thumb' is approximately 150-200 words per minute.

BTW, just finished Mike's story. It's a must read.

Any more orders, for drinks, that is?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 20 Jan 2017 14:22

Turn my back and the place goes nuts...or maybe just nuttier than usual.

MP, here's your Long Island Tea. Swill it in good health. Playing Etta James is a goodness. Feel free to post links as ye see fit.
Brolly/Jen, one Hannah coming up. Careful who you 'hip' young lady. The joint's liability insurance lapsed...into a coma.
VG! Welcome back. Hate to hear you're puny. I have a cousin in Germany who'll be marching over there tomorrow. So good for you both. Just so happens there's a small keg of 'Beaver Breath Brandy' just waiting for the right person to take it away from all this. As for that strong champagne, we got some 'Old Mule Kick SShampain' that should fit the bill, in a manner of speaking.
Mike, congrats on the new story. I'll check it out soon as things slow down to a dull uproar around here.

Okay, who needs a refill?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 20 Jan 2017 08:58

MP, no reason to limit oneself. After all, something will be needed to wash down those brownies. And with BC and Laura buying, why not try a double header, so to speak?

BTW, I've just sent a PM to Nic with our suggestions about a nude painting inspired writing contest and some possible sources of inspiration.

High noon in Washington is fast approaching. Consider alcohol as a sort of sanity and/or life preserver.

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 20 Jan 2017 05:27

Greetings, Ms B.. No need for you to pay. Laura and Hannah are buying, no doubt as an expression of sympathy with their US cousins. So four 'Black Russians'. You want that I should make those doubles?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 20 Jan 2017 04:34

Ah, to be covered by Hannah and Laura, an old guy can dream. ;)

Let's see, a Red Bull and vodka, a Hannah, and something with alcohol in it forJen/Hera.

Speaking of names, my 'rule of thumb' is, truth be told, non-existent. That is to say I usually go with whatever is quickest...but not always. Seeker is what I still call, Scott, more out of habit than anything else. So Jen and Jen need to let me know if they have a preference. Don't make me no matter mind.

In recognition of today's main event, Rumplations will be having a one-for-the-price-of-two special on that most appropriate of drinks: Black Russians.

Any takers?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 19 Jan 2017 07:42

Greetings, night owls and day trippers into the darker regions of Lushland.

(grumbles to self while making a passel of 'Hannah's' Just a damn good thing the profit margins on these non-alcoholic things is even better than ones with booze.

Seems like a number of folks were pulling all-nighters. Well, Rumplations is always open. Course, it's self-service at times. That's okay. Terrance the Tarantula, chief of security around here, keeps an eye, in fact, several eyes, on customers to make sure they don't 'forget' to pay up.

BC, best of luck with your writing issue. One thing for certain, there is no 'right' way. What works for one may be a total wash-out for someone else. Hang in there.

BTW, we will be open tomorrow. However, patrons are asked to wear mourning black in recognition of the day's 'big' event. (sigh)

Anyone ready for a refill, or coffee, or (gasp) a real drink?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 18 Jan 2017 09:41

Jen! Come on in a take a load off...or get a load on if that's your thing. Good to have you checking us out. You want to join Burquette in some virtual 'Sex on the Beach'?

Seems the Burquette unit wants 'Sex on the Beach' and she wants it good and strong. (slides over drinks) Enjoy.

BTW, don't worry about any aftermath. I'll warn all those with weak hearts or limited stamina to keep their distance. Bottom up...virtually speaking.

Any more calls for sandy sexuality?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 18 Jan 2017 08:38

(slides a 'Hannah' over to Hannah) I've two unpublished novels under my belt, so I feel your frustration. You might try speed writing. Turn off your internal editor, no re-writing, don't worry about 'craft of writing' issues, just tell your story. Later you can go back and decide whether any of that is worth improving. No guarantees, of course. Good luck.

Want a refill on that 'Hannah'?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 18 Jan 2017 06:55

Greetings to all who come in seeking truths about life, its consequences and inevitabilities, only to discover there's no paper, of any sort, in the latrine.

Jen, sorry about that ten day stretch at work. All a part of the glamorus, adventurous life of nurses. ;) Hang in there and good luck with dem HEA's.
Seeker, since Lush is a single-category site, I often scroll down the list of categories to find any with elements in my story. It is frustrating when you realize there were one or two others you could have used, but didn't. Of course, that only happens after the sstory has been submitted.

The floor is still open, so to speak, for suggested paintings of nekkid folks to use as inspirations for some future writing contest.

Now who needs a drink?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 17 Jan 2017 22:10

Evening, Gil. One 'Hannah' coming up, complete with an assortment of cocktail umbrellas.

BTW, do you have any stunning suggestions for a nude painting to serve as the inspiration for the next Lush writing contest. Here's the list so far:
The Naked Maja - that's mine
Nude Descending a Staircase - Jen, but I'm not 100% sure she's serious
Mona Lisa - Hannah, her own self - I'm assuming the thinking is that under all those clothes is one hot, nude body
Mike has several ideas including a statue.

Anyway, you get the idea. Once we get a few more, I'll be sending Nic a PM about the 'painting' thene for the next contest with our profound suggestions.

Here's an extra umbrella to get you imagination cranking.

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 17 Jan 2017 21:45

Evening, MP. As my AV might have hinted, 'Sex On The Beach' is something of a constant around here. (slides over drink)

MP says she's buying. Who wants alittle free 'Sex On The Beach'?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 17 Jan 2017 20:44

Mike, if you check in the 'Writers Resources' forum in the stickies you'll come across a thread I started titledsomething like: How to be a Happy Hooker' (it's about strong story openings 'hooks'). It contains a slew of favorite literary opening lines which might inspire you.

As for my inchoate 'EP', its a Lesbian tale with tags such as: seduction, reluctance, college sex, student nurses, fellatio, and includes side stories about a horny white h/s teacher and a 'colored' doctor.

Jen, just a little writerly talk. The great story formula is: boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl back. Feel free to rreword/modernize the words, but the thought is the same. Consider placing your 'unhappy endings' in the middle of the story then resolve the crises at the end.Romance writers have a phrase that modifies 'happy ever after' to something more like 'about as good as can be expected' (for the life of me I can't recall that phrase)

Anyway, just some random, and unasked for, thoughts from ye olde barkeep.

Okay, who needs a drink?

glasses8

Topic 'Final Edit' advice
Posted 17 Jan 2017 05:28

(bump) Why? Because I think it's good advice.

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Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 17 Jan 2017 03:56

Greetings, y'all. BC, it is a truth, universally acknowledged, that to wash out a coffee pot or urn more than once a yearcan affect the taste of the brew (good or bad is, of course, subjective) and besides, it's a bother. Anyway, the urn's is still pretty clean so you want a mug of today's brew?

BTW, why not get started on your 'Mona Lisa' story? Sounds intriguing.

Jen, what's got you thinking about writing a 5k plus story? The one I'm tinkering with now will probably come in a few hundred words under that limit. Just curious.

Okay, before I pester Nic with this 'nude painting' contest idea, what about some of you lay-abouts coming up with a few suggestion for me to pass along? I've already mentioned 'The Naked Maja' by Goya. Now it's your turn to dream up a few more. And if you play your cards wrong, someday I may pass along the story of the aftermath of 'The Rape of the Sabine Women'.

Okay, who needs a refill or a starter?

glasses8;)

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 16 Jan 2017 12:10

MP, just what this joint needs is a supply of booze laced with gold. Sounds like a drink from heaven for the gold-loving dwarfts in the Discworld series.

Seeker, glad you mention Mike's thread.

More drinks, with or without gold?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 16 Jan 2017 10:11

Greetings, Mike. I'm doing the same as you, tinkering with a story while waiting to find out what the next contest will involve. This will be my first lesbian category story here at Lush so I'd like to get it both 'right' and readable.

(refills Mike's mug) Anyone else need a refill or a fresh drink?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 16 Jan 2017 08:36

Man, oh man, that AA coffee is going fast. There is, of course, Beaver Breath Brandy plus other adult beverages of choice for those who want to 'enhance' their brew.

Over the weekend, I had an idea (don't laugh, it happens) for a Lush writing contest; use a famous nude painting as the subject. That is to say, create a 'story behind the painting'. To be honest, I had 'The Naked Maja' in mind but anything short of Picasso's 'Nude Descending a Staircase' might be a good choice. Not a particularly original idea, but I don't recall Lush ever going with that sort of theme. Any thoughts?

So who's ready for refills?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 16 Jan 2017 05:06

It's Monday! Sorry about that.

Mega-congrats to Jen for being awarded an 'RR' by 'She Who Must Be Obeyed' aka Nicola. (slides over a celebratory Hannah, fortified with a shot of vodka)

Deepest sympathy is hereby extended to all fans of the four NFL teams knocked out of the playoffs this weekend: Seattle, Houston, Dallas, and Kansas City.

This weekend, the official Rumplations coffee urn was sandblasted, then dipped in paint solvent and finally put through a high-pressure, high-temp washer. According to reports, most of the crud is now gone. So who wants a mug of the 'Arabica's Anguish' that showed up today?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 14 Jan 2017 06:42

(slides a 'Hannah' over to, Hannah) Here ya go, BC. I agree with you about Mike's story. IMO, its sex scenes are among the best written I've come across.

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 14 Jan 2017 04:41

Greetings to all who survived Friday the 13th. (free drinks for those who didn't)

A rousing Rumplations welcome to Ms Most Precious Little! Uh, don't be put off by that deafening sound of silence, MP. No doubt the crowd is waiting to here what you decide to play. The old Wurlitzer is at your command and in working order, probably.

Mike, me thinks you're right about RR's. At least I now know whose stories have been sucking up the RR's my stories haven't been getting. ;)

Gil, a story about someone with a fetish for cocktail umbrellas is...well, it's something.

In addition to the usual offerings of bad coffee and worse drinks, this morning we have such traditional bar cuisine as: pickled pig's feet, stale potato chips, and runny cheese nachos. Enjoy.

So what do youse guys want to drink with all that?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 13 Jan 2017 18:32

Greetings to all who wander in a winter wonderland...and to Laura who, living in NZ, most definitely ain't.

I dang near worked up a sweat with all dem drink orders. May have lost track and redoubled the amount of booze in them. If your lips start going numb, give them some inappropriate exercise.

Jen mentioned 'recommended reads'. It's my understanding they are given at the time a story is approved and posted by the person who performed the deed.

BTW, to celebrate the 700th page of Rumplations, the link to this den of debauched depravity in my sig line is now working...probably.

Any more orders? Okay, who just yelled something about my performing a physically impossible task upon my own-self?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 13 Jan 2017 08:21

Aw shucks, Ms BC, whatever I did, it weren't nuttin'...but feel free to keep on hugging. BTW, you want one of your new, 'Hannah's' to celebrat?

glasses8

Topic Announcing the Winners of our "Holiday Hijinks" Story Competition
Posted 13 Jan 2017 05:58

Congrats to all the winners, especially, Rumplations Irregulars, Burquette and BrownCoffee.

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 13 Jan 2017 05:43

We have winners!
(here's the official announcement)

1st Place ($150) - Oh Christmas Goat, Oh Christmas Goat, by sprite
2nd Place ($100) - It's Behind You!, by naughtyannie
3rd Place ($50) - Fifteen Shopping Days 'Till Christmas, by Burquette

Making up the Top 12, were these excellent stories:

Platinum Haze, by MadMartigan
Stuck On You, by Jen
Muff Nudge, by WannabeWordsmith
Dear Diary, by Saucymh
Masquerading, by browncoffee
Getting Off, by NymphWriter
My Secret Santa Sucked, by bad_mann_ers
The Xmas Buzz, by GoNE68
Mrs. Patterson, by jhmik_88

Congrats to all the winners, especially our own, Burquette and BrownCoffee.

And here, at no additional charge, are links to their stories.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/quickie-sex/fifteen-shopping-days-till-christmas.aspx

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/quickie-sex/masquerading.aspx

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 13 Jan 2017 02:14

Evening, or morning, Jen. You want that you should have a bloody mary with some of those green bean thingies?

You've probably checked, but there still is no results, I'm afraid and what with all the system problems, it wouldn't surprise me if the delay lasted another day or two. Of course, if the problem is all the judges being dead drunk from 'drinking to forget' all those entries, the wait might be even longer.

Thanks for mentioning that drug. I hesitated to give it a try even though the Vetterans Administration here in the states has it on their approved list. But I've been on the stuff now for several months and so far, no joy. Even the company only gives it a 70% chance of working. I'll stay on the stuff for a few more months, then give it a rest if nothing has changed.

(slides over a tall Bloody Mary) Enjoy.

glasses8

Topic Competition
Posted 13 Jan 2017 01:54

The scheduled called for an announcement on the 10th. But delays are not uncommon. All I can suggest is to abide awhile in patience for all will be revealed, sooner or later. ;)

glasses8

Topic Site down for maintenance - from 4pm PST Friday 13th
Posted 13 Jan 2017 00:53

Gav, there was another period of 'downtime' before midnight (US PST). Is the tinkering still scheduled for 4:00 pm (Pacific Standard Time here in the States?

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 13 Jan 2017 00:03

Greetings and welcome back. Someone must have forgotten to pay the utility bill because the Lushland Pubic Works Department (LPWD) pulled the plug. Best I can tell, the site was down about four hours, coming back around midnight western US time. By then it was well into 'Friday the 13th' in most of the world which just goes to show how you shouldn't mess with that date.;)

And before you ask, yes, I checked for contest results and the answer is, no. Sorry about that.

Anyway, seems like I'm going to be around all night so drop in for a nightcap, eye-opener or coffee, depending on your time zone.

BTW, and just so y'all know, my problem isn't exactly insomnia, but something called, Non 24-Hour Sleep Disorder. It's bad about screwing up the circadian rhythm of some folks who lack any light perception. About once a month I go from sleeping more or less 'regular' hours to, as now, sleeping in the day but not at night, then things gradually shift back. Of course my own situation isn't helped by my being a lazy, lay-about SOB.

Actually, I posted all that instead of a planned post describing in detail my real-life amorous adventures. Had to give that up, however, when I couldn't stretch the word limit beyond micro-fiction. (sigh)

Jen, you may have nailed the name. However, and IMHO, the one made here, w/o lager, should continue to be called 'Hannah'. What do you think?

Seeker, if you get into Furst novels, please let me know what you think of them either here or maybe on Buz's book group.

Drinks are available if so desired...in fact, they're available even if you're on the wagon and can only desire them while drying out.

glasses8