Forum posts made by rumpleforeskin

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 26 Apr 2018 08:22

Two mugs of hot steaming coffee for Larry and Jim. Big Bertha just let out a burp or maybe it was a gurgle. That's her way of saying, thanks, big boys.

Jim, go ahead and submit your story. Nobody here will make fun of your effort, trust me. ;)

Anymore orders?


Topic Would people be surprised to find out
Posted 26 Apr 2018 06:26

Would they be surprised? Nope

Would they be bored? Yep.


Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 26 Apr 2018 04:12

Morning, Carl. One mug filled to the brim with Big Bertha's brew, black. Gotcha covered. Are you up early or late?

eta: Just FWIW, here are four new RRR's (Rumplations Recommended Reads)
The first three are on the main page, so look 'em up. ChrisM's series in on page two so I included a link to the latest installment.

Nymph in Limbo pt 1 & 2
Ed Givers

Seduce Me
Rune (meg)

In the Seraglio' series

The Grimoire - Part 4 - Josephine
Chris M

Anybody else need something to drink?


Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 25 Apr 2018 23:57

An after-midnight, Good Morning, Sara. Here's your hot chocolate complete with the heapin' helpin of mini-marshmallows you also ordered. If that doesn't send you off into the land of nod, we can try a refill with a healthy slug of BBB.

Anybody else out there in need of a drink? Hello? Anybody? Well, happy Thursday to all who enter. Now pardon me while I give Big Bertha the business in time for the UK morning crowd.


Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 25 Apr 2018 22:52

Gill! Good it is to have you back among us. Here's your 'Hannah' complete with three (3) cocktail umbrellas.

Fuzzy, what about two and a half fingers of Jameson? Seems someone bumped me while I was pouring.

Odds are I'll be around all night so feel free to stop in for drinks and insults.

Meanwhile, whadda ya wanna drink?


Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 25 Apr 2018 05:16

Mid-week greetings to all humpers and humpies.

I'm still appalled at my fax pass (that's sorta French for 'fuck up') in claiming Curvy was a Londoner. The good news is it could have been worse. I could have accused her of being a resident of, Toad Suck, Arkansas.

It is a truth, universally accepted in universities, that archeologist are history majors who flunked out of grad school and like to play in the dirt.

According to the Romans, Boudicca, was one bad-ass broad who damn near kicked 'em off the island. So there, dirt diggers. ;)

If anyone has an extra Mask contest plot or two they might spare, post 'em here and win a free beer. Me, I'm stumped for something more original than masked balls and the lone Ranger that has at least a particle or two of verisimilitude. (sigh)

Thanks to Fuzzy, Big Bertha has a full load of liquid goodness to pour out for all in need of caffeinated bliss. That, plus our usual lineup of unusual drinks means there's no time like the present to tell your beloved barkeep just what in hell you want to drink.


Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 24 Apr 2018 05:19

Greetings to all who wander in the elysian fields of Lushland, find their way into Rumplations and then forget why.

Curvy, many thanks for once again getting Big Bertha up and pouring out the caffeinated elixir of life. If you get a chance, you might want to show your fellow Londoner, Pixie, how to give our sacred and ceremonial giant coffee urn the TLC she loves so much and responds to so well.

Odds are the Curvy-unit is working on her first mug of coffee. If so, while I'm filling another one for Fozzy, you want a refill?

And speaking of Londoners, Ms Hannah has expressed a need for lemonade. I agree with Pixie that baklava is a major goodness, but not the perfect partner with lemonade. But it's your call.

Fuzzy, don't know if you noticed but we got us a new mod over on the Sacre Bleu site. Annamajique(sp?) goes by Anna May Zing over there and unlike the last new mod they on the non-payroll, she knows what to do, how to do it, and is willing to do it right ;)

Hope The Weekender drops by with more grub this morning. Those biscuits and poached eggs he laid on us yesterday were laraping good.

With Big Bertha filled with hot goodness and ready to put it out, that means the entire rogues gallery of liquid delights is available. For instance, BB also provides hot water for the hot tea and coco crowd. There's also our beers available at your choice of temps: room temp for the UK and Canadian crowd, cold for the US drinkers, and extra large for the Anzacs. All our wines are sacramental, at least I've heard a lot of folks exclaim, "Holy shit!" or " Oh, God!" or some such upon taking their first sip. Last but far from least is our collection of fine lickers. So whadda ya literary light-weights wanna drink?


Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 23 Apr 2018 17:34

Speaking of pure fantasy and/or horror fiction, the management and staff of Rumplations has dedicated their own-selves to reliably, maybe even quickly, filling all orders -- or something sort of like that.

LJ, here's your gin. Tell Jeff I'll be gettin' around to his drink sooner or later.

A 'Tailgater' is in the near future for Sara.

ITM wants hot chocolate with a double dose of chocolate. Sounds like a chocoholics dream. Here ya go.

Curvy will probably be wanting a beer before long. Well, truth is the odds are she already wants a beer but just hasn't gotten around to ordering one...yet.

Okay Jeff, here's a couple fingers of whatever the hell it was you order. LJ, you need a refill, kind lady? ;)

Now who else wants to pester the living hell out of me with more orders?


Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 23 Apr 2018 04:28

Dearly beloved, let us begin yet another Monday with a chorus of Hallelujahs for Curvy and her efforts to provide caffinated balm and a less disgusting environment, at least inside this joint. ;)

Now, before I wander off to finish my morning rounds, who the hell wants to be the first, after me, to try the coffee...and/or order any other fluids? Don't be shy. I've finished most of my first mug and I'm still typi....


Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 22 Apr 2018 19:52

Here's your beer, Ms Sara. Hope you had a good weekend.

Anybody else out there want a drink or two?


Topic Friend removal
Posted 22 Apr 2018 18:33

Nymphh Writer wrote: Miles and miles of desert.

Me, I wrote: So that's where all those unidentified, unfriended folks have been coming from. ;)


Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 22 Apr 2018 17:17

How you all are? It's on the warm side out here in the desert west of Tombstone with temps in the high 90's while the humidity is in the single digits.

Let me suggest that what with tomorrow being one of the dreaded and dreadful Monday's, y'all savor being in this moment, so to speak. ;)

Any orders for fluids?

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 21 Apr 2018 16:41

Jim, you might contact one of the Lush mods, such as, for instance: Sprite, Brown Coffee, Buz, Curvy, Jen (either our straight shooting RN or the Scottish lassie, etc., not to mention, et alia...and ask for their opinion and/or other forms of help.

In This moment, proud to have you drop your cloak of lurker invisibility and reveal yourself to the Rumplations' rabil. Alcohol is optional around here. Some folks don't hit the hard stuff due to medical reason, other out of personal preference. It don't make me, or anyone else, no matter mind.

The trick with the old Wurlitzer is to post a music link. Sometimes that requires reposting the link due to a software feature designed to protect the site from dem pirates. :(

This post has gone on way too damn long so I'll just ask the eternal question, Whadda ya wanna drink?


Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 21 Apr 2018 12:53

Greetings, fellow dwellers in the lusty lands of Lush.

Things seemed to have slowed to a dull uproar around here. Tanya's wallowing in the woes of wallpapering while sipping on a restorative cup of hot tea. Meanwhile, Carl is busy being Fuzzy and swigging down yet another mug of Irish Coffee.

Contest-wise, no doubt everyone is busy working on their entries except, of course, those dreaming up phoney bologna excuses for their FTP (failure to participate).

The management and staff of Rumplations is proud to offer assistance in the creative process by offering a refined, if ill-defined, selection of UK and US versions of beers, wines to make a vintner weep (for joy?) and our renowned collection of fine lickers. So whadda ya writers of the porn wanna drink?


Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 20 Apr 2018 18:44

Evening, Jen. Sorry about your tough times. It's kinda like that old incantation by coaches, "When the going gets tough...the tough get damn good and tired." Well, it was something sorta like that.

At least you're in good company, drinking-wise. Earlier today, Elizabeth Black also ordered, Drambuie. Come to think of it, she might be ready for a refill by now. So here's hoping you two stalwart members of the 'Drambuie Brigade' have a great weekend.

Scott, here's your beer with a chaser of 'Bear Huggers Whiskey' or maybe vice versa. If your next two weekends are due to be a mortal hell, here's hoping this weekend will be a winner.

Now who wants, needs, and/or craves a drink prior to whatever else ya got planned?


Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 20 Apr 2018 15:38

Sara, here's yours complete with BBB and marshmallows. Larry, here's yours sans BBB and Marshmallows. Break a leg, thespian.

Curvy, here's yer beer, dear. ;)

First time I tried that drink was while flying first class, someone else paid for the ticket, on old Braniff Airlines. Never have figured out what it's called, if anything, in RL. Around here, maybe something along the lines of a 'Braniff Balmer' though I'm not sure 'balmer' is a really word.

Anybody else need some sort of liquid balm for the soul here in Rumplations?

glasses8 ?

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 20 Apr 2018 14:40

To: all caffine cravers, to include, though not limited to, Sara, Larry, and Jim.

May I suggest my special combo of hot chocolate, coffee and, for the more adventurous, a shot of Beaver Breath Brandy? Sara's would come, so to speak, with a heapin' helpin' of her beloved mini-marshmallows?

Anybody else have a caffine craving this combo might assuage?


Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 20 Apr 2018 13:05

Greetings, Ms Sara. It's in the low 70's and windy down here in the valley. What's the situation on your mountain?

Meanwhile, here's your hot chocolate with a double-handful of dem mini-marshmallows you crave.

Pixie, your offer to help out in the emergency is much appreciated.

Jim and I have finished cleaning out the sludge that had befouled Big Bertha's bottom, so to speak. His having been a swabbie meant he was familiar with steam cleaning and then sand blasting where and when needed. My theory is that the Safeway coffee Jeff used got her poor innards in an uproar. But since Ms LJ was on the way, his lapse from caffine perfection can be understood, if not completely forgiven. ;)

Anyway, there's now a fresh pot of Big Bertha's Best Brew made with fine Louisiana dark roast (Community Coffee to be precise)
Sorry I wasn't here for the early AM coffee brewing but I'm currently on a go to sleep after 4:00 am and wake around noon, cycle.
Has anyone heard tell of Tanya? I'm beginning to worry just a bit about our 'Jersey Girl'.

Scott, can't remember what you ordered and by now your needs may have changed. However, a beer is always a safe alternative in your case. Enjoy.

Now what about the rest of you literary de-constructionist (destructionist?). Whadda ya wanna drink?


Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 19 Apr 2018 13:43

Sara, ya wanna join Jim in a beer or would one of your 'Tailgaters' be of more interest?

Jim, the inspiration for Big Bertha was a pre-WW II era b&w studio shot of a petite lady standing beside what was called 'The World's Largest Coffee Urn'.It was several feet taller than the lady person but otherwise looked like a 1930's era coffee urn. Anyway, no longer being one of you light-dependent lifeforms, my posting that or any other photo has been seriously curtailed. The care and feeding of Big Bertha is a group grope, I mean, project, taken on by the first to arrive in the morning. Feel free to give her your best shot and you'll discover she'll happily put out for you.

Now who wants to try some of Jeff's less than robust brew? After that, you'll probably need a drink of something much stronger.


Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 19 Apr 2018 11:11

It's TGIF-eve here at Rumplations, misbehave accordingly.

In the news, Layla June is about to join Jeff in yet another attempt to housebreak the poor lad. Good luck, Ms LJ.

Of course, the joint is still buzzing with the news of Ms Elizabeth coming out of the dugout as an admitted Nats fan. For the benefit of any sports illiterates and/or those residing on the east coast of the big pond, the Nationals are a major league baseball team in the Washington D.C. area.

Those familiar with the musical 'Damn Yankees' should know that team, the, 'Washington Senator's, moved to Minnesota and change their name to 'Twins'. It's replacement later moved to Texas and dropped the names 'Senators' in favor of 'Rangers'. The current version, the transplanted 'Montreal Expos' gave up the name 'Senators' in favor of, Nationals. All that may or may not be exactly the whole truth, not to mention nothing but the truth, but it is in the ballpark, so to speak.

Maybe Buz, who has some baseball 'based' stories to his credit, might give us the saga of a minor league club called the 'Banditos' or some such, whose owner requires the players wear masks. After that, work in some characters base on Kevin Costner, Susan Sarandon and the rest of the cast from the film, 'Bull Durham' as love/lust interest and comedy relief, and start planning on how to spend the winnings. ;)

Man and boy, I'm about tuckered out after all that mindless bloviation. A beer or two may be in order. And speaking of orders, who else needs their own drink or two?


Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 18 Apr 2018 14:01

And now,while Sara sips on her 'Tailgater' (you did want some tequila, right?) here's something really different.

This link may or, as usual, may not take you to a news story on MS-NBC about the Prime Minister of New Zealand. The headline reads: NZ PM is unmarried, pregnant and going on maternity leave.

Just for the record, my crush on PM Jacinda Ardern is among NZ female-type lady-person second only to that for our own, Laura. ;)


Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 17 Apr 2018 18:47

Yes, ma'am. One SUD) Sara's Unnamed Drink, with a double-shot of TucominCary Tequila coming up, so to speak. :)

Anybody else want to join Sara, in a drink, that is?


Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 17 Apr 2018 18:16

Jeff, gushed: Hey Pix! Nice to meet you, just read my first story of yours today. Let me buy you a drink.

Anyone want a good historical series to read (reminded me of Curvy in her attention to detail and ability to spill it without sounding unnatural) give her In The Seraglio a shot. I jumped into the series in the middle--Part Three--and it was very good. She got a bunch of RRs for it too! I'll go back and read the whole thing now.

Me, I fussed: Folks, I hate to agree with Jeff, but while his praise of Pixie's work is, imo, far too faint, having read the first seven installments, I must admit that he's right about her writing being excellent and as of this moments, has earned the dubious distinction of of being an official, 'Rumplations' Recommended Read' (RRR).

I'm almost positive Jeff just offered to celebrate this occasion by buying everyone a drink or two. So whadda ya literary low-lifes wanna drink?


Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 17 Apr 2018 15:50

(slides over a mug of hot, strong, black coffee) Here ya go, Jim. Congrats on facing such an attractive fork in your life's highway.

Oh yeah, don't forget to post a link to your new story.

Any more calls for fluids?


Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 17 Apr 2018 14:06

How you all are? From the joint's disfunctunal latrine(s) to the always functioning lava lamp, the world of Rumplations is, no doubt, abuzz with the news of the newest Lush writing contest -- 'Masked'.

Since Jeff has been anointed by Weekender as Lush's 'monster sex' expert (one hopes of the fiction writing variety) the rest of Lushland may or may not be waiting on his explaination of just how in hell a 'Masked' contest can involve tentacle sex. ;)

I'm still waiting on clarification of whether Zorro, Long Ranger, or Batman & Robin fanfics will be allowed.

Now before all the controversy and squabbling breaks out over that touchy issue, who in the names of both Jack and Charlie Daniels wants something to drink?


Topic Announcing our "Masked" Story Competition
Posted 17 Apr 2018 12:30

She Who Must Be Obeyed, mused: Perhaps I should make it clearer, or specify the upper and lower word limits in the competition copy in future?

Me, I concurred: Couldn't hurt. If Jeff is confused, what chance is there for we mere mortals to avoid veering from the narrow path of contestual correctness? ;)


Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 16 Apr 2018 12:37

How y'all are? Me, I'm confused. I'll swear on a stack of Victoria's Secrets catalogs that I posted something hours ago. It included the usual BS plus thanks to Tanya for the muffins and fresh coffee and congrats to Jeff on Ms LJ joining him this coming weekend.

Where that posts has gone is one of those great mysteries I'll chalk up to some minor deity being really pissed at me. (sigh)

Anybody need a drink? Me, too.


Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 15 Apr 2018 10:18

Greetings from the 'Valley of the Sun' out in the desert west of Tombstone.

Well, that's about it for the day.

Problem is Lush may or may not be down. I sorta came in through the bathroom window, so to speak, that is to say via email responses rather than the main Lush link. (sigh) That sort of dampens to joy of posting and it takes a lot to dampen, Joy, a most exuberant young lady, trust me.

The floor is still open for suggesting names for Sara's sweet tea and tequila drink. Of course, there's not a lot of open space on the floor. But when the clutter gets deep,....

We may experience limited contact from the Verbal unit. Poor Jeff's beloved Mets got whacked 1-5 by the mighty Brewers.

Now I'm heading for a second mug of Big Bertha's best brew. Judging from the sludge-like consistency, she may have been going all night which would explain the chewable nature of today's offering. Still, it's a good chewable. Anybody else need a drink or two?


Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 14 Apr 2018 19:51

Hate to hear ya got troubles, Mad. Tell ya what, we got about four fingers left of the 'Old Whiskey River Bourbon: a salute to Willie Nelson, left. Based solely on the price (high) it'll be the first, last, and only bottle to grace these premises Tell ya what, if you agree to drink it straight from the bottle, saving me the time and trouble of wiping at a glass, you can take the bottle home.

Scott, you want all that beer in mugs or should I just put a pony keg of draft in front of your beaming face and let you do the rest?

Sara, suggestions for your drink's name just keep rolling in along with some suggestion for you personally that have nothing to do with tea and me on that one. ;)

Weekender, anyone who can give such a profoundly reverent description of the making of sweet sun tea deserves a tall glass of whatever name Sara decides on but with a double shot of the bar's very own, Tucumincary Tequila.

AAnybody else in need of an uplifting drink?


Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 14 Apr 2018 13:36

Scott, here's ya a 'Gorilla Killah', the rum and Coke with a double-shot of 151 proof rum. It may not warm you up but should, at the very least, numb you from the cold.

Larry, you are way too damn organized. Tell ya what, just invite the Arizona Agitators (that's Sara and me) up to your place and you won't have to worry about freezing the me on that one. ;) Meanwhile, here's your java.

Sara, I put in a plug for you and me to slide up to Larry's place to help him polish off a mess of ribs. For now, here's a refill on your sweet tea and tequila. (need to come up with a name for that one)

Okay, anybody got any suggestions for naming Sara's Sweet Iced Tea and tequila drink? A few drinks would get the old mental works humming. So whadda ya want to drink?