Forum posts made by rumpleforeskin

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 29 Sep 2016 23:43

Evening, Mike. Many thanks for the kind comment on my 'A Special Photo' story. I recall reading your 'Polaroid' story but plan on giving it another going over.

VG's challenge to write a story with a despicable main character is intriguing. I've only written one here on Lush, a 1500-word effort about a scheming small town, southern party girl, titled, 'Nice Can Be Very Nice'

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/love-stories/nice-can-be-very-nice.aspx#comments

Give it a look see sometime and you'll understand why most Lush readers apparently found it wanting in the wanton area. ;)

BTW, I've just brewed a fresh pot of coffee, which I'm about to start rendering down to a caffine-rich sludge in time for tomorrows customers. Care to try some now with a healthy dose of 'Beaver Breath Brandy'?

It's pushing midnight out here in the desert so I'm heading for the horizontal.

George Burns: "Say goodnight, Gracie."
Gracie Allen: "Okay, George, 'Goodnight, Gracie.'"

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 29 Sep 2016 05:40

Greetings, fellow travelers down the lusty lanes of Lush.

Today is, National Coffee Day. I'm not sure why or who got it started, but in honor of the mighty bean, an order of Rumplations' world-infamous coffee comes with a free refill...assuming anyone has some stomach lining left after the first mug.

Anyone thinking about entering the 'Fetish' contest?

glasses8

Topic Have you ever seen a prettier woman than
Posted 27 Sep 2016 22:15

Just a pedantic quibble: There are a lot of pretty women in this world, but relatively few who are so classically beautiful they seem somewhere beyond concepts such as alluring, sensual, and sexy. Greta Garbo was such a woman. IMHO, Deneuve is one of the select few to somehow manage to combine all those elements.

glasses8,

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 27 Sep 2016 21:30

Evening, Gil. What about a cold can of, Lone Star Beer? I'll even add a semi-clean glass and two cocktail umbrellas.

Don't worry your head none about, Tanya. Buz and Mike have hustled back to the stock room, having cheerfully volunteered to take up my slack till I've recuperate. Damn nice of those guys to pitch in to help out an old blind vet.

Anyone else need something to ease the aches and pains of life...I mean, besides Tanya, opiates, and banana pudding?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 27 Sep 2016 17:45

Okay...who's the single-digit IQ clown who decided it'd be a real joke to shove a shit load of slugs into the Worlitzer and then select this song again, and again, and again, etc., etc.......?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJVpihgwE18

Not funny. Not funny at all, y'all. Made me lose count in the middle of the inventory Tanya and I were doing in the stock room. Now we'll have to start all over and, frankly, I'm about worn out.

Anyway, I've got the MD 20/20 Mike wanted but VG's order has sort of slipped what passes for my mind. So the rest of you order now or go thirsty.

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 24 Sep 2016 21:30

Greetings, one and/or all.

Laura, about that red wine do you want Tokay, Ripple, or Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill?

Mike, here's a double shot of 'Old Buzzard Kentucky Bourbon' and a schooner of Shiner Bock beer. Sorry your day's been so tough.Since VG is the writer of a 'Famous' Lush story, I'll just put the charge on her tab.

The rest of y'all want anything...I mean, besides, Tanya? Can't have her. She's helping me back in the stock room with some hands-on inventory work.

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 23 Sep 2016 19:58

Greetings, VG. You finished off the last of Buz's 'Hunch Punch' so what about a 'Gorilla Killer' a super-charged Cuban Libre using 151 proof rum. A couple of those and you even forget your burns. (visualize a smilie showing great sympathy)

glasses8

Topic The Rage Cage
Posted 23 Sep 2016 19:38

VG, I don't feel your pain...for which I'm very grateful. But this may be a hint that you need to become a bit more ambidextrous and/or less klutzy.

Topic What Pets Do You Have?
Posted 22 Sep 2016 19:32

Just one question: Do flies, fleas, bedbugs, roaches, etc., etc. count for purposes of answering this 'Petting' question?

glasses8

Topic true stories
Posted 22 Sep 2016 19:23

Like most writers anywhere, including Lush, some of my stories are pure fiction, others were inspired by real life or based on real life events. A few are even 'names changed to protect the wanton' recounts of real life events. For instance, the first story on my sig line was inspired by a relationship between two friends of mine. The third story is from nothing but my warped imagination. But the second story...well, that one is based on honest to goodness, 'if I'm lying I'm dying' type real events exactly as the story details...honest, no fooling, trust me on this one, okay?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 22 Sep 2016 10:55

Greetings, denizens of Lushland. As most probably know, today is the first day of autumn, at least up here north of the equator. However, with Halloween just a few weeks away, here's something else to note with appropriate gestures.

On this day in 1692, eight citizens of the colony of Massachusetts were hanged for their supposed connections to witchcraft. Theirs were the last of the deaths caused by the Salem Witch Trials, preceded by 11 other hangings, plus five who died in prison, and one who was crushed to death for refusing to enter a plea.

Here is today's theme song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RLVDG88swMI

Now the question before the bar is what drink would be most appropriate to observe this blight spot on the national escutcheon.

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 20 Sep 2016 15:38

Gil and Company: Speaking of Charlize Theron, one of her more sultry nude photos inspired the opening to one of my Lush stories, A Special Photo'. In the phphoto, CT, is stretched out on a bed amid rumpled sheets that negligently cover, just barely, her essentials. Her hair is disheveled and covers the hand propping up her head She is on her side, looking toward the camera.

Anyway, that photo inspired the following opening:

A SPECIAL PHOTO
by Rumple Foreskin

Sensual and seductive, she lay amid the rumpled sheets of the bed where we'd just made love, relaxed and at ease within the golden skin of her petite, perfect body. Not posing, not looking at the camera so much as through it, into the photographer, into me. Waiting with an expression of amused tolerance for me to finish and rejoin her.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/love-stories/a-special-photo.aspx

If you get a chance, check it out.

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 20 Sep 2016 15:12

Greetings, lusty ladies of Lush. VG, imo, what you contemplate would not be cheating so much as exercising your bi-drinking tendencies. Go for it, girl.

Gil, in all semi-seriousness, I've found that drinking something warm at bedtime can sometimes help one enter the land of nod a bit sooner than expected. While the top choice goes w/o saying, hot chocolate, perhaps laced with a suitable amount of brandy, has possibilities. Of course, a 'hot rum toddy' might also be worth a try. Combining two or more of those suggestions is not recommended unless you are already in bed. ;)

So what do you folks want, to drink, that is?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 15 Sep 2016 22:35

(Pours three-fingers of Buz's own booze into a relatively clean glass.) Here you go, Buz. Anyone who lusts after CT deserves a clean glass. Though I can no longer see the many images I collected of her clothed, semi-undressed, and magnificently nude, they remain fresh in my memory. For as has been so wisely stated, 'A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste.'

BTW, about five years ago, , my daughter was attending my sons graduation from the American Film Institutes MFA program (screenwriting) and Theron and her group sat right behind her (Clint Eastwood was to receive an honorary degree). While getting seated, her butt bumped the back of the head of the guy (a friend) sitting beside my daughter. When CT apologized, he said no problem but that now he'd never wash his hair again, and Theron broke up. According to my daughter, Theron was even better looking in person then on the screen or magazine covers.

Just something for you to dream on tonight. ;)

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 15 Sep 2016 22:30

(Pours three-fingers of Buz's own booze into a relatively clean glass.) Here you go, Buz. Anyone who lusts after CT deserves a clean glass. Though I can no longer see the many images I collected of her clothed, semi-undressed, and magnificently nude, they remain fresh in my memory. For as has been so wisely stated, 'A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste.'

BTW, my daughter was attending my sons graduation from the American Film Institutes MFA program (screenwriting) and Theron and her group sat right behind her (Clint Eastwood was to receive an honorary degree). While getting seated, her butt bumped the back of the head of the guy (a friend) sitting beside my daughter. When CT apologized, he said no problem but that mow he'd never wash his hair again, and Theron broke up. According to my daughter, Theron is even better looking in person then on the screen or magazine covers.

Just something for you to dream on tonight. ;)

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 15 Sep 2016 20:36

Mike, what about pouring myself into bed with Charlize Theron? However, something tells me that wasn't the type of pouring your were asking about, so...... Tell you what, the same folks who brought you "old Buzzard Bourbon' also have a higher priced, 'black label' product called, 'Puking Buzzare Bourbon'. Want to try a few fingers of that fine product of, Big Beaver Lick, Kentucky?

glasses8what about

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 15 Sep 2016 10:31

Greetings, to all lusty travelers along the lanes of Lush.

Laura wrote: Today I'm here to plug my humour story https://If you want an all access pass to my underwear draw, then you should read this story.

Laura, that sounds like too good a deal to pass up. In all semi-seriousness and IMO, writing sexy humor is one of the greatest challenges in the erotic genre. Looking forward to checking out your stuff, I mean, story.

VG, I'm here to assuage both needs and wants. A bowl or two of 'Humch Punch Cheerios should give you a wholly different perspective on the day, and probably the night that doth follow it.

Seeker, is that stuff drinking whiskey? Damn, I've been using it to unclog the crapper. FWIW, I have only two unbreakable, chiseled-in-stone 'rules' for writing commercially viable fiction: 1. Don't bore your readers, 2. remember, this is the real world, not an English class, there is no 'right or wrong' just effective and ineffective.

Okay, odds are VG's needs and wants have been slaked, at least for the moment. So what do the rest of you deadbeats want to drink?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 14 Sep 2016 19:41

LOL (imagine a big smilie)

Mike, don't know about you, but I've been hiding my smarts most successfully for many long years.

One of my favorite 'brain' put-downs came in, Tom Wolfe's "Last American Hero". In the film version, the character of Junior Johnson says something along the lines of, "If you balanced his brains on the edge of a razor blade, it'd look like a BB rolling down a four-lane highway." Me, I could relate to that.

Ready for a refill?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 14 Sep 2016 17:46

Man and boy, that OceanRunner is multi-faceted. Not only does he have brains he ain't never used, the boy's got couth and class that are untouched. ;)

Okay, Mike, here's your well-fingered Kentucky bourbon.

glasses8

Topic Which improvements or features would you like to see added?
Posted 14 Sep 2016 16:55

Sheri, your best bet is to create a txt version for submission. There are several ways to do that. Being lazy, I usually just copy and paste my doc file into Notepad. Saving that should automaticall create a txt file to go along with the doc file then submit the txt version. Later, if so inclined, I can delete the Txt file.

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 14 Sep 2016 15:25

VG, for what you want, we may need to stir up what's left of the last batch of, da Linebacker's, infamous 'Humch Punch'. If you want, I'll even swap out the old fruit (it's gotten a bit wanky) and give it to Coma and Tose then toss in some fresher stuff for you. Whadda ya say?

Seeker, the biggest difference between writing short-form and long-form fiction, at least for me, is the organization required in the longer pieces. Some novelist can jump right in and get going a on another best-seller. But that ain't me. I need to get the overall plan in mind plus sketch out most of the characters including at least a bit of bio for the main ones.

You'll have to give it the old 'trial and error' business to find out which method works best for you. Good luck and enjoy the ride.

Oh yeah, what cha wanna drink?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 14 Sep 2016 10:00

Greetings, lusters after the Lush life.

Mike asked: If "old beaver breath" is the top shelf, dare I ask what the well brand is,

The answer to Mike's plaintive query is, of course, no.

Gil, three cocktail umbrellas in a Rumplations' 'Shirley Temple' special coming up. (BTW, don't ask what makes it special...just don't.) (BTW #2, be sure to check out yesterday's post so you can give fulsome praise to all the customers who were winners in the Lush writing contest.)

(BTW #3, there's some oldie but not too moldie coffee left. Remember, just add a couple shots of Beaver Breath Brandy and it doesn't taste too bad.)

Verbal, here's a double-shot of your 'brown bag special'. Of course, I'll have to charge you the usual amount so you can keep up the tradition of not paying. ;)

FWIW, I honestly believe every writer should give a try at a long-form story. Sort of stretch the limits a bit.

So what'll y'all have to drink?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 13 Sep 2016 20:20

At one time, the red neck drink of choice, at least in my neck of the woods, was 'Old Charter and Coke'. The idea was the Charter had enough character to overcome the Coke while it, in turn, smoothed out the rough edges of the Charter just a bit while providing a shot of caffine to help you stay awake.

Of course, 'Old Charter' would be way too high-toned for this joint.

Y'all ready for a refill?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 13 Sep 2016 19:06

VG, I'm going to tell it like it is, or something close to that. That Mike has brains he ain't never used. At least, that's what I've been told.

What about a contest entry titled: Mods Are Magnificent'?

Ms B, I'd advise you to approach ordering a 'Dirty Martini' with caution. Used to be a guy-type life-form hung around here using that name for his alias. He's mostly over on the 'Blue' site now modifying to beat the band.. Still, you're the big winner so here's your poison. (cautiously places a flagon filled with a mysterious liquid in front of Ms B)

Okay, any more orders?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 13 Sep 2016 17:13

VG, I gotta admit I wasn't exactly thinking about 'Doublemint Chewing Gum'. No, imho, the best double would be to first handle the double shot of 'Old Buzzard Bourbon' then contemplate taking on those two French cousins. Yeah, I know it's a chore. But like the old coach always said, "When the going gets tough, the tough get it on," or something like that.

glasses8.

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 13 Sep 2016 15:36

edited to add: Ms b, the bar is always open to writers who have actually made a buck or two off their work. So what'll you have, big winner?

VG, I think, though admittedly very infrequently. But for you, I've made an exception and what I think is you need me to make that strong drink a double. Tell you what, Mike's been working on a bottle of 'Old Buzzard Bourbon' a fine product of Big Beaver Lick, Ky made with water from bucolic Big Bone Creek. I mean, how can you lose?

Seeker, not unlike a stopped clock that is right twice a day, you have struck on a rather brilliant idea. A Lush writing contest with a theme of steamy sex in a seedy honky-tonk. Sounds like a winner to me.

BTW, about any health hazoards...I'll have you know the back room is cleaned out twice a year, usually, while the mouse traps in the storeroom are in working order. As for the dumpster hot tub, the water was changed just last spring and a dose of bleach was tossed in a few weeks ago. So there.

Now what'll your have to drink?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 13 Sep 2016 12:50

Greetings, contest winners and wanna-be's. Decided to repost the 'Honorable Mention' list for those too lazy, confused, or forgetful to look up the 'Winners' post on the 'Site Announcement' forum.
xxx

Rounding up the Top 10 were these excellent entries:

Taking One For the Team, by VirgoGo
Exercising Restraint, by WannabeWordsmith
Gold-Medal Whore, by oceanrunner
Mixed Doubles, by naughtyannie
Hat Tricks and Firecracker, by MadMartigan
Double Oxer, by HeraTeleia
Judo - The Gentle Way, by ChrisM

xxx

It should be obvious to even the dimmest intellect, such as mine, for instance, that Rumplation customers done did good.

In addition to all the deserved praise heaped yesterday on MB & B, here's a 'Way-To-Go' for: Jennifer, Mike, and VG.

Now where's that 'Damn Bowie' stuff Jennifer wanted?

Verbal: as a reader, I hope you keep dem 'Shards' a'coming. As a writer, I understand you thinking about taking a break from the series. If writing them is becoming a chore, take a break. Whatever you decide, I just hope you don't put the two main characters on the shelf, at least not for long. In fact, I hope that someday you feature them in a longer format story.

Now what'll y'all have to drink?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 12 Sep 2016 19:48

Now don't you go being tacky, Buz. Besides, it could be worse. The poor soul could be from Arkansas. ;)

(slides a mason jar down the bar in the general direction of Mike) Here you go, big guy. That's the last of the 'Quaint Quebec' champagne. Don't know what we're gonna do now for paint thinner.

You are approximately 100% correct, Mr. Mike. Bourbon must be distilled in Kentucky. Jack D is a sour mash whiskey that comes from Lynchburg, Tennessee.

BTW, the Steelers just beat the Redskins.

You two clowns ready for refills?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 12 Sep 2016 14:19

Greetings to the contest winners, also-rans, and non-participants...including me.

It's pretty standard to praise the quality of the entrants in a Lush contest but in my uninformed, totally subjective, and unasked for opinion, this group had to be among the best.

BTW, before y'all slip back into alcohol induced catatonia, let me quote a shrewed prognostication from among the comments on the winner's story.


RumpleForeskin - Ms B, you may have a contest winner with this one. I am impressed....and more than just a bit jealous.


That was my comment, in case you didn't notice. You know me, always trying to drum up a little business.

Which reminds me, what do y'all want to drink in celebration of our winning customers.

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 11 Sep 2016 21:41

Mike, I'll have you know 'Old Buzzard Burbon' comes from Big Beaver Lick (no, I'm not making that up) located on the no doubt scenic, Big Bone Creek (I'm not making that one up, either).

glasses8