Forum posts made by rumpleforeskin

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 26 Jun 2017 14:23

Coffee for, Reg.

Scotch for, Seeker.

And a big 'Atta boy!' for, Seeker, Jr.. ;)

Anybody else need a drink?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 26 Jun 2017 08:39

It's Monday morning...sorry about that. Maybe the folks in Zealandia and Aussie-land, where it's Tuesday, will share how they got through the day.

My LSU Tigers will face long-time conference rival, Florida this evening in game one of a best-of-three series to decide the college baseball championship. It'll start at 7:00 pm ET and be carried on ESPN.

So how are y'all's contest entries coming along? (hint, hint, hint)

Big Bertha has come up with a batch of her notorious 'Monday Morning Special' brew.Approach with caution.

So whadda ya Monday morning moaners want to drink?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 25 Jun 2017 23:58

Jen, when I can't vote, it's usually because I've, once again, been kicked off Lush. So I have to log back on and do whatever, to include voting and commenting. IIt's aggravating, but suppose it's just a routine security deal with the Lush program and not some vast conspiracy targeted solely at me, he says, worriedly.

Any orders before I head for the barn?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 25 Jun 2017 11:17

(A 'Hannah' slides over to, Hannah.) Guess ya got all hot and sweaty while mowing, he says as images of hot, sweaty, sexy young women flash across his barely functioning brain. BTW, sitting on a big riding mower does not qualify as 'hard' work, imo. ;)

I'm back from reading the new stories of Reg and the Mad-One. I gave both well-deserved, fives and commend them for your consideration (the stories, not the writers, that is).

Reg appears to be a rookie when it comes to pimping a story since he didn't include a link to his piece of peerless prose. Here's a link which, as usual, may or may not work.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/love-stories/afterglow.aspx

The Mad-unit, a pimpers pimp if there ever was one, included a link to both his new story and the one by Sprite that inspired him to give that style a try. Scroll up a bit and check it out.

To all of you suffering from too much 'good life' last night, a quote from the great, Hank Williams, Jr., "Oh, the hangovers hurt more than they used to." Ain't that da truth? So whadda ya losers of yet more brain cells want to drink?

glasses8

Edit: proper link added by your friendly neighborhood sprite. :)

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 25 Jun 2017 09:06

Sunday salutations from the rapidly heating desert where the temp just reached 100f The first person to say, "Hot enough for you?" will not be invited to the next dumpster hot tub debauch.

Thanks to the 'second' from Ms Emily (and the 'first' nomination by somebody else), the management and staff of, Rumplations, are proud to announce that, LOSING IT, the fine collaborative story produced by the collaborative efforts of Jen and Mike, is hereby awarded the coveted rank of, 'Rumplations' Recommended Read' (RRR). All drinks today will be added to Mike's already somewhat lengthy tab.

More bloviations will follow, but I'm heading over to check out the new stories. Before I leave, what the hecky-darn to you nice folks want to drink, he asks, disarmingly

glasses8.

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 24 Jun 2017 15:26

Now, best I recall, Scott wanted that JD on the rocks I had mentioned earlier. Laura doesn't just want, she NEEDS strong coffee. And the Hannah-unit lusts for lemonade. Okay, did I get all that right? Any other orders?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 24 Jun 2017 11:47

Glad to have you back, Sharon. Hope your break has left you primed for pounding out prime porn.

Reg, care to have that coffee served in a giant, economy-sized mug? There is, of course, plenty of our world infamous Beaver Breath Brandy if you want to 'enhance' the drinking experience.

So what about the rest of you, "barflies," to quote, Lady Sharon's , most perceptive analysis.

: glasses8:

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 24 Jun 2017 08:46

Greetings to groaners and gigglers alike, and a special 'Howdy' to those doing both simultaneously.

Y'all make old (as in 'really') Pentup feel welcome. (slides over a triple-shot Cuban Libre') Make yourself 'to home', Nick.After you've knocked off a few of those Cuban Libra's' I'll give you the grand tour.

App, ya want that coffee in a 'to go' mug, and what about a chunk of beeff jerky for your friend?

Laura, around here, you'd be loved even if bald headed. Which, come to think of it, sounds a bit interesting in a suitably kinky sort of way.

Enough with all the intercourse, social variety, of course. Who needs a drink?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 23 Jun 2017 19:18

It'll be sunset in about thirty minutes out here in the desert. Damn, but these days sure are getting shorter.

Phil, here's your coffee. I'll get Tawny to give your beer mug a special polishing.

Reg, one pitcher of strong ale coming up along with several shot glasses filled to the brim with Bearhuggers' whiskey Ya want a mug for that ale?

Seeker, you didn't order but just so happens I have a double-shot of Buz's 'Jack Daniles' that needs some serious consumption. You interested?

Anybody want, need, and/or crave some liquid refreshment?

glasses8.

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 23 Jun 2017 12:31

And now for something really different.

Over on da 'Blue' site (Stories Space) I've inflicted a 230 word spoof of late-night info-mercials. It's not-too-cleverly titled: The Info-mercial from Hell'. Here's the link...maybe.

http://www.storiesspace.com/stories/flash-fiction/the-infomercial-from-hell.aspx

Truth be told, the comments are funnier than the story...a fact that will surprise no one familiar with my scribbling over here.

Anyway, if you get a chance, give it a look-see. BTW, you might want to down a drink or two before going over there, and you'll want to take a stiff one with you, and I'll have another waiting for when you get back...but you gotta order something first. So wh adda ya want?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 23 Jun 2017 10:16

Jen, hate like hell to hear about your friend's failing health. Hang in there.

For the rest of you, be sure to hug all the ones you love this weekend.

Mike and Jen both wanted coffee while Tanya craved tea.. Phil was asking about beer, but that was some time ago. So here's the deal...the coffee and tea are a'coming and I've rinsed out a big mug for Phil's beer if he's still so inclined. Any more orders?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 22 Jun 2017 07:29

Greetings. Did anyone else wonder if the randy rabble here at Rumplations inspired Nic to launch the current 'Filthy' contest? Probably not, but who knows?

Gil, if your eye troubles makes reading a chore, you might want to consider listening to some pieces of prime prose. Audible.com comes to mind as does the 'audio' section here at Lush. And if you don't mind 'text to speech' online e-books and short story collections might be worth checking out. Main thing is to take care and get mo' better real soon while sipping on your 'Hannah'.

Just a reminder that according to the unwritten and most flexible rules concerning elevation of stories into RRR status...all it takes is for two regulars to nominate a story for it to be proclaimed a, Rumplations Recommended Read. (hint, hint)

Okay, Bertha's making those noises that indicate a fresh batch of her version of coffee is now available. Anyone besides Reg want a mug full of her liquid bliss?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 21 Jun 2017 20:09

Scott wrote: Lush is life. Now get a beer over here. Got some living to do.

Me, I say: Yas-ah, boss. (slides over a frozen schooner of Bloated Bladder Beer)

Tanya, as clearly stated in the unwritten rules, "for a story to be granted the honor of being named a 'Rumplations Recommended Read' (RRR) it must be nominated by at least two different customers." Since all the 'irregulars' who come in here are exceedingly 'different', anyone can nominate any story any time. Any questions?

The bar still has a unique selection of more or less potable alcoholic beverages. (hint, hint) So what do you con-e-sewers of prime porn want to drink?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 21 Jun 2017 12:35

Best I can recall, there's a serious call for coffee and 'Hannah's'. If that doesn't float your boat, just take your complaint the the head of our Complaint Department, Helen Waits. That's right, you got a complaint, go to Helen Waits. (for the literal minded, absent-minded, or just clueless, 'Helen Waits' would be pronounced, 'hell and wait'. It's a joke...honest.)

Jeff, don't give up on the contest or, even worse, admit to such an act. You might spur that whip wielding London lass back into action.

If you got a thirst, we got the answer for you. So whadda ya want?

glasses8

Topic Watch This Space for a Stupendous Announcement about the New Direction of LushStories!
Posted 21 Jun 2017 08:49

Phil wrote:
4D software : "4D (4th Dimension, or Silver Surfer, as it was known during early development) is a relational database management system and IDE developed by Laurent Ribardière." Which is probably a little less exciting for most of us...


Me, I wrote: Never underestimate the intellectual curiosity of Lushers and Lushettes...mainly 'cause it can't be done.

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 21 Jun 2017 08:14

It's the first day of summer! Y'all might not believe this, but out here in the desert that is not, I say again, NOT, a cause for celebration, trust me.

Reg and Mike, Here's a mug filled to the point of sloshing over the rim with a 'Hump Day' version of 'Bertha's Best Brew' with a stiff shot of BBB to enhance the drinking experience.

Any more orders or y'all just hanging around here to soak up the atmosphere and/or ambiance?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 20 Jun 2017 19:15

Evening, you two.

Laura, here's your Cuba Libra. Mike, I'm guessing you want a beer, right?

BTW, 'plot' is a four-letter word. Why let something like a story arc mess up your creativity and interrupt that stream of consciousness?

Any more orders? If so, just write them on a twenty-dollar bill and tuck it between Tawny's boobs. If she decides the bill ain't fake, you just might get a drink.

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 20 Jun 2017 15:42

How you all are? Gil, you ready for a refill on that G&T? BTW, sorry to hear about your eye trouble. Get better. You hear me, Lady?

Chesh, do believe you wanted tea. Here's you a bag of Earl Grey, a mug of scalding hot water, and one spoon. Condi-mints are on the bar. You'll have to work out the details for yourself. ;)
eta: You might want to show your manners and all by checking on Emily. If she's still around she might still want some tea.

Adag, you didn't show up whining about needing a drink so you must need one really bad. Well, bad drinks are a specialty around here so feel free to join the rest of these free loaders and order away.

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 20 Jun 2017 08:43

Morning, y'all. It's 8:30 am, out here in the desert and the temp has already passed 90f (32.8c) and is expected to reach somewhere around 120 this afternoon. Me, I don't care how dry the heat might be, imo, that's, " ...hotter than a snake's ass in a wagon rut,"...to quote Robin Williams doing his Walter Cronkite voice in, 'Good Morning, Vietnam'.. (sips on a Long Island Tea).

So congrats are in order for Jen and Mike on their 'Losing It' collaboration earning an, RR. Congrats, youse guys.

Got several orders for Bertha's Best Brew to which some of you might want to add a shot or two of Beaver Breath Brandy to 'enhance' your drinking experience.

So what'll you overheated types want to drink?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 19 Jun 2017 19:08

Mike, Tawny once tried out for the role of Stella in an off-off-off Broadway production of 'A Streetcar Named Desire'. She didn't land the role but she did get laid by most of the stagehands. Would she be an okay sub for that fancy brew you're asking about?

Anyway Mike, you're in charge. My LSU Tigers are getting drilled by Oregon State in the College World Series so I'm going away to sulk, piss and moan and, in short, feel sorry for myself. After that, I'll try to find a'filthysome stories to read. Anybody got any suggestions?

Oh, yeah, if you wanna drink, better get your orders in fast cause Mike and Tawny will be behind the bar and will, no doubt, soon be under it or back in the stock room.

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 19 Jun 2017 16:22

Jen, there's a good reason the nut houses, detox centers, and drunk tanks are filled with writer-types. Hang in there advises the guy with one RR since way, way back when. ;)

glasses8

glasses8

Topic Watch This Space for a Stupendous Announcement about the New Direction of LushStories!
Posted 19 Jun 2017 16:08

W

What a fine group of congenital friends. ;)

Now y'all keep playing nice until sweet Sprite pisses us all off.

glasses8

Topic Poetry competitions & calls for subs
Posted 19 Jun 2017 12:53

Submitted for your consideration, a list of poetry competitions, some including short story, which might be of some interest to some of you.
note: AuthorsPublish is a free, weekly publication. Recommended. rf
glasses8

xxx

Authors Publish Magazine 30 Writing Competitions and Submission Calls for Poets


30 Writing Competitions and Submission Calls for Poets

Written by S. Kalekar | June 19, 2017


This list is divided into two: submission calls and competitions for poets, including fellowships and one essay contest; prizes range from $250 to AU$10,000. They are listed according to deadline. The calls are for various topics, styles, as well as geographical and age demographics of poets.



Special submission calls include those confronting shaming, LGBTQ themes, poetry by underrepresented writers, various poetry forms and poems on modern relationships, and found poetry on a specific theme. Some journals also have editors’ prizes. Some publish work by new and upcoming writers along with prize-winning poets, and regularly nominate work for various prizes.

Submission calls

The Puritan

They are looking for poems of any length, including sequences and long poems, and are open to other genres. There is also a call for The Town Crier Editor-in-Residence positions, to take creative control of the blog for one month – see guidelines.

Deadline: Rolling; reading till 25 June for the Summer issue
Word count: Up to 4 poems; one fiction or essay up to 10,000 words, under 500 words for flash fiction; 2,000 words and up for interviews; 1,500-6,000 words for reviews
Pay: $15/poem or page, capped at $60; $50 for fiction; $100 each for essay, review or interview; $200 for The Town Crier Editor-in-Residence; $20 for work in the Supplement Series
Details here.

Long Poem Magazine

They publish long poems, one essay per issue, and book reviews. They have published a diverse range of poets, including some prestigious names, and also translations and collaborative works. They welcome both traditional and modern voices.

Deadline: Reading in June for Issue 18
Word count: Submit up to 2 poems, at least 75 lines; contact for essay proposals and book reviews
Pay: Unspecified
Details here.

Boxcar Poetry Review

They accept poetry by both new and established poets, reviews of first books of poetry and first book poet interviews/conversations. They nominate poetry for the Pushcart Prize and Best of the Net. One poem with the most votes in each issue gets a $25 Peer Award.

Deadline: 30 June 2017
Word count: 3-5 poems
Pay: One $25 award per issue
Details here.

Beltway Poetry Quarterly: Sterling A. Brown Tribute Issue

This award-winning magazine showcases work of poets in Washington, DC and the surrounding mid-Atlantic region – Maryland, Virginia, West Virginia and Delaware. They are seeking poems about Sterling A. Brown (the first Poet Laureate of Washington), for Brown, or poems that address the subjects closest to him: music (especially jazz, blues, work songs and spirituals), racial identity and folklore. They do not accept work outside of their annual submission call.

Deadline: 30 June 2017
Word count: Up to 5 poems
Pay: Unspecified
Details here.

Twelve Point Collective: Modern Relationships theme issue

They want poetry, fiction and non-fiction on the Modern Relationships theme, widely interpreted. There is an option to publish anonymously. Each work will be paired with the work of a newfound artist. They invite writers to be a part of their collective.

Deadline: 30 June 2017
Word count: Up to 5 poems, up to 3,000 words for short stories and 2,500 words for essays
Pay: One copy of the book
Details here.

Fifth Wednesday Journal Special Issue

This is the journal’s first special issue call. They want writing by immigrants or children of immigrants of Middle East and North Africa (MENA) countries, written by by US and Canadian residents. Works are eligible for an annual Editor’s Prize in fiction, and poetry of $150. They seek poems of any length or style, but are less likely to publish a poem longer than 4 pages.

Deadline: 1 July 2017
Word count: Five poems of up to 4 pages, fiction and creative non-fiction of 1,000-12,000 words
Pay: Two contributor copies, one-year subscription with the issue following; annual Editor’s Prize of $150
Details here.

Sonic Boom

They publish experimental poetry, Japanese short-forms and flash fiction. The special feature call is for parallel haiku. They also have a link to an editor interview.

Deadline: 1 July 2017
Word count: Various for different sections; see guidelines
Pay: Non-paying
Details here.

Blithe Spirit

This is a quarterly journal of the British Haiku Society. They want poems in all haikai genes, and writing about haiku. There is also a Museum of Haiku Literature Award (£50) for the best haiku from the previous issue. Each issue has a section on the season just ended.

Deadline: 1 July 2017
Word count: Unspecified
Pay: One £50 award per issue
Details here.

Ashville Poetry Review

This is an annual literary journal that publishes 180-220 pages of poems, interviews, translations, essays, historical perspectives and book reviews. Hard copy submissions only.

Deadline: 15 July 2017
Word count: 3-6 poems; unspecified for others
Pay: Unspecified
Details here.

Heron Tree Special Issue

They want found poems crafted from either The Climates of the Continents by W. G. Kendrew or The Blue Fairy Book by Andrew Lang. They are open to any and all approaches to found poetry construction and erased, altered, or remixed text; poets must use Kendrew’s Climates of the Continents or Lang’s Blue Fairy Book as source material (links to both work on their website). Accepted poems will be published online and collected in e-pamphlets available for free downloading.

Deadline: 15 July 2017
Word count: 1-3 poems
Pay: No payment
Details here.

Impossible Arcetype

They want work by LGBTQ poets of all genders. All forms are welcome. For their second issue, they want work that is striking, beautiful and musical.

Deadline: 16 July 2017
Word count: 1-4 poems; prefer submissions of up to 10 pages
Pay: No payment
Details here.

Jazz Cigarette #5: Forms

They are looking for works in various types of form poetry. They want the poets to bend rules and re-think possibilities. Blends of art and text are welcome. They want Villanelle, Pantoum, Ghazal (seven stanzas to two pages), Rondeau, Visual Poetry (sculpture poetry, erasures, etc.), Abecedarian, Triolet, Haibun, Concrete Poetry, Code Poetry, GIF Poetry, Cento, weird Sestina, any type of Hybrid form, Asemic Writing, Tanka Sequence (no singles), Renga, and englyn.

Deadline: 1 August 2017
Word count: 3-5 poems
Pay: Unspecified
Details here.

Aftermath: Explorations of Loss & Grief

Works for this anthology should examine what it means to face the consequences after tragedy strikes. They encourage under-represented voices to submit.

Deadline: 15 August 2017
Word count: 500-3,000 words for prose; unspecified for poetry
Pay: $35/work for poetry, $0.06/word for fiction and non-fiction
Details here.

The Adroit Journal

This is a quarterly online journal. They accept poetry and prose from the same writer simultaneously during their reading period. They also publish reviews and interviews. Their poets are regularly nominated for Pushcart, Best of the Net, and various other prizes. They also run an annual poetry prize for students, for which entry fee waiver is available.

Deadline: 15 August 2017
Word count: Up to 8 poems, no line limits; up to 3 prose pieces of 3,000 words
Pay: Unspecified
Details here.

Shame: An Anthology

The writing should challenge shaming, which is both a cultural practice and a form of abuse, and the effects of which are often long-term and far-reaching. The editor wants pieces which confront this issue critically and break the silence around it. While personal narratives are welcome, the work should consider an audience beyond the writer.

Deadline: 31 August 2017
Word count: Up to 5 poems, up to 10 pages; 1-2 essays, up to 20 pages
Pay: Unspecified
Details here.

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 19 Jun 2017 09:59

Jen wrote (late last night): Drinking another Crispin Pacific Pear. Have tomorrow off, so should be drinking more, but I'm just too tired.

Here's hoping Ms J is enjoying something of a sleep-in or at least a lay-about.

Jeff, you asked if there was a 'right' testicle to remove. IMO, no, but that jury thought the one removed was wrong to the tune of over a million bucks.;)

Here's a big mug filled to the rim with something that looks, even smells like coffee. As for taste, well, two out of three ain't bad. Any more orders or is Jeff gonna have to drink out on the back porch with Phil and Tawny?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 19 Jun 2017 08:42

Greetings to all grouchers, grumblers, and groaners this Monday morning from here in the desert where the temp is expected to top out at around 116f later today

Phil! For you that 'Rita would be a late night variety, for sure. But Tawny has offered to mix up a special batch if she can join you. That gal is a real trooper. ;)

Which reminds me, anyone want some of that 'Midnight Margarita' mix or a hot mug full of Bertha's Best Brew or maybe a hot rum toddy?? Just asking.

glasses8.

. .

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 18 Jun 2017 18:39

Hi ya, Gil. Sit yourself down and try one of Tawny's 'Ritas. Sorry about all that yard work. Just a reminder that both 'yard' and 'work' are four-letter words.

Anybody else come in and need a drink?

Yes! Greetings, Ms Laura. Grab a 'Rita and sit in here amongst us.

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 18 Jun 2017 17:24

Scott, you may have figgered it out. The author, Wylie Coyote, had his story, 'Snacking' posted yesterday. Congrats on a schrewd guess. ;)

BTW, Tawny says she'll whip up the 'ritas if she can join us. I agreed, of course. Even said it was okay to wear some clothes. Hope you approve.

Anyone want to join us? One way or the other, better get your order in ASAP while Tawny's behind the bar.

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 18 Jun 2017 16:33

The curvy one is among us and ordering a beer. (slides over a mug of something folks in the UK insist really is beer)

I'm guessing you're in Scotland or thereabouts. Nice place. My folks got kicked out of there after Culloden. Heard the place has been on an upswing since then. ;)

Any more orders?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 18 Jun 2017 10:34

Scott wrote: A Father's Day whiskey seems in order here, Rump. Maybe a bourbon this time. Neat, as usual.


Sounds like a winner, Scott. If you don't mind, think I'll join you.

BTW, you've admitted to having once been a, mod so maybe, perhaps, and even possibly you can explain something that's not really important but puzzling. There's a contest entry that's shown up on the writer's profile and on the competition list but not on the main page. Anty idea why?

Anyway, while Seeker seeks to come up with an answer (notice I didn't limit him to a 'correct' answer) and we sit out on the back porch sipping our whiskey, the bar is still open. Grab a drink and join us.

glasses8

Topic You know you're a Lush veteran when...
Posted 18 Jun 2017 09:18

Maybe you know your a Lush veteran when an off-topic spat breaks out in a thread and you just shake your head and smile indulgently...or move on to another thread/forum.

glasses8