Forum posts made by rumpleforeskin

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 27 Apr 2017 12:03

Now, let's see if I've got this right: one tea for Seeker, one coffee for the G-Man, and one Hannah for BC. Is that a correct and up-to-date list of the current orders.? Don't snicker. It happens, ever so often.

A couple quick recommendations.

The fifth and possibly/probably last chapter of Jenny Gently's series, "Robin's Rage" is up and well worth your consideration. This is a deep, complex, erotic series with the main character obsessed by love and doing whatever is needed to break up the recent marriage of her life long best friend and love of her life.

Green Man has a totally different story you'll enjoy. It's a fast-paced revenge fuck with a touch of humor, titled, "Sex In the Stacks" (I think). Anyway, check 'em both out and then thank me later.

Any more orders.

glasses8

Topic Which improvements or features would you like to see added?
Posted 27 Apr 2017 07:14

Morning, Mike. I'm wondering if it would be less trouble to create a method to easily save selected comments made on our stories? Might have to lose the commenters name if their account is deleted...don't know. But all that would be a Gav issue. Just a thought.

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 27 Apr 2017 06:15

(slides over a mug filled with Earl Grey) Steal away, BC. Reading your version might kick-start my own stalled efforts. ;)

Any more orders?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 27 Apr 2017 04:05

Greetings fellow denizens of the land of Lush.

Hannah, hope you got your tea. By now you should be about ready for a 'pick me upper'. So what'll it be: more tea, coffee, or a 'Hannah'?

Laura, I've whipped up a nightcap that will either put you to sleep or help you drift back off into the land of nod. Sorry you had a rough day. What you do for a living is a 'calling' not a 'job'. Thumbs up to you and your collegues around the world.

Me, I'm two sex scenes away from finishing my latest opus...and I've been blocked. (sigh) The first is the main characters 'deflowering' which she carefully arranged. The next is three years later, same guy, same truck and while it's good, there's just the tiniest of niggles in her mind that there could be more to sex than just this. Still,not unlike a kidney stone in the proverbial urinary tract of life, this too will pass, sooner or later.

'Big Bertha' the sacred and ceremonial coffee urn is huffing and chuffing so another batch of the elixir of life is about ready. Who wants coffeeand/or a drink?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 26 Apr 2017 14:31

Verbal wrote: Sorry you had a bad night Reg. You may borrow some of my NyQuil to spruce up your coffee if you like.

(shudders, grimaces, maybe even gags a bit) Damn generous of you, Verbal. (shakes head)Must admit that would have never occurred to me.

After all that, who needs a drink to help them recover?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 26 Apr 2017 08:14

Reg and Buz, you guys want some of the X-rated (for extra strong) coffee? What about some brandy to smooth out the taste?

Any more orders?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 26 Apr 2017 08:13

Reg and Buz, you guys want some of the X-rated (for extra strong) coffee? What about some brandy to smooth out the taste?

Any more orders?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 26 Apr 2017 05:02

Greetings to all who come stumbling in, looking for the set of 'Cheers' and finding the 'Twilight Zone' instead.

Morning, Hannah. Here's your X-rated (for extra strong) mug of coffee. Ya want anything to go in it, like sugar, cream, brandy?

Anybody else lurking in the corners, trying to get their faculties squared away enough to put in an order?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 25 Apr 2017 16:23

Me, myself and I wrote and now repeat:

I'm about to lay four, that's right (4), no fooling (IV) story recommendations on you.

First and foremost is a RR story by Burquette which Mike most correctly classified as, "ridiculously good."

Following that are three short reads over on Stories Space. Meredith's 'Dawn' is a moving prose/poem in the Micro Fiction category.
The two other stories, by TouchofGray and the G-Man are short, imaginative Humor pieces which, like all four stories, come highly recommended by your beloved barkeep.

Read 'em all, then you can come back, thank me, and order a few drinks to show your appreciation.
###

Just FWIW, I never thought Hannah would take that invitation to read and then order a few drinks to its illogical extreme. ;)

Tawny has just about finished restocking, so any more drink orders?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 25 Apr 2017 07:38

A bunch of coffees and a single, solitary tea. No problem. Got all the fresh cream and sugar anyone might want and even more BBB.

Any more pitiful requests for service?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 25 Apr 2017 04:57

Greetings to all rowdy Rumplations rascals.

I'm about to lay four, that's right (4), no fooling (IV) story recommendations on you.

First and foremost is a RR story by Burquette which Mike most correctly classified as, "ridiculously good."

Following that are three short reads over on Stories Space. Meredith's 'Dawn' is a moving prose/poem in the Micro Fiction category.
The two other stories, by TouchofGray and the G-Man are short, imaginative Humor pieces which, like all four stories, come highly recommended by your beloved barkeep.

Read 'em all, then you can come back, thank me, and order a few drinks to show your appreciation.

The Limitations of an online Relationship by Burquette
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/seduction/the-limitations-of-an-online.aspx

Pastoral Visit by Green_Man, aka Larry Nye
http://www.storiesspace.com/stories/humor/pastoral-visit.aspx

Kiss the Bride by TouchofGray
http://www.storiesspace.com/stories/humor/kiss-the-bride.aspx

Dawn by Meredith
http://www.storiesspace.com/stories/micro-fiction/dawn.aspx

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 24 Apr 2017 19:24

Layla June & Verbal

This is a major GOODNESS.

Verbal, mega-congrats you lucky dog.

Layla June, bless your heart, good luck in housebreaking that scoundrel. ;)

There's still a bit of the good bourbon left. So who wants another celebratory drink?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 24 Apr 2017 06:49

Please, no one chastise poor Hannah, for her ignorance, feigned or real, of beer. She's more to be pitied than censured. ;)

Jen, are those things good with pear cider?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 24 Apr 2017 06:40

BC, here's your Schweppes lemonade. Many thanks for sharing that recipe. Just one question; how are they with beer? ;)

And speaking of beer, here ya go, Phil.

Seeker, no doubt your concept will soon appear in 'Architecture Digest'. Coffee with BBB heading your way.

Anybody else want a drink?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 24 Apr 2017 05:30

Greetings and salutations to all scribblers of sensitive, sensual, and sublime smut.

Phil, that's a dang thoughty gesture on your part, defacing a slightly used cocktail napkin with a blueprint of a massive stockroom complex. However, while I'm renowned for being as open minded as a bowling ball, something like you are proposing would probably put a helluva crimp in the business of drinking.

BTW, I agree with you about the incredibly inappropriateness of "Happy ANZAC Day" The same goes here in the states with "Happy Memorial Day" greetings.

Just three days left to enter the 'Passion' poetry contest. Last time I checked there were 87 entries. That was not a hint, honest, just the opening to a reminder that it is a hallowed tradition that all poets get dead drunk before scribbling a single line. Just a suggestion. ;)

And with that said, who needs a drink, or some thicker than mud Cajun-style coffee?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 23 Apr 2017 07:23

Greetings to all celebrating the birthday of old Bill Shakespeare. Of course, all Rumplators know by heart the most famous line he penned, you know, the one about screwing. "Screw your courage to the sticking place."

For those more musically inclined, it's also the birthday of the pride of Vernon, Texas, the great, Roy Orbison.

Got molton hot coffee ready for Seeker and Buz. No sweat. However, Ms Hannah has thrown me a curve ball or the equivalent tennis terms. I mean to say, there a whole host of different 'Schweppes' product. Y'all know what I mean?

Any more whiney requests for service?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 23 Apr 2017 00:05

Jen, while it is tempting to think of your ass as being grass while BC is the lawnmower of life, I have a hunch you'll get away with nothing more than having a scarlet "A" (for Absentee or maybe, 'Abandon hope all ye who did not enter,) affixed to some portion of your anatomy. So sweat it not and enjoy those chasers. ;)

Any other orders?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 22 Apr 2017 20:34

Hi ya, Laura. One LIT with both lemon and lime, coming up. Ya want some of Emerson's popcorn to go with that? It's not hot but it's still fresh...probably.

Any more orders?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 22 Apr 2017 19:52

It's evening out here in the desert and the temp has just slipped below 90 f, so all is cool, so to speak.

Jen, before prescribing that headache cure, it might be best to check on the cause of Reg's pain. After all, his trouble might be due to something pills aren't best equipped to treat, such as, you know, SRH...the dreaded 'semen retention headache'. Just a suggestion.

Reg, aka Shawn, (yes, I confess to checking your profile) welcome to Rumplations, the Rx for whatever ails a resident of Lushland. Just a tip or two before you do a 180 and head back out the door.

1. Do not attempt to grab a free sample from the hot nut dispenser even though that 'less than tightly closed' lid does make that tempting. Terance the Torantula, head of security around here love to lounge in the warmth there and takes a very jaundiced view of strange fingers poking around, disturbing his meditations.
2. The two past-their-prine guys at the corner table are Coma and Tose. Trying to throw items into their open mouths is frowned upon, especially by Sprite, 'Her Awsome Royal Spriteness' whose throne is located just behind our never alert guys.
3. Our barmaid is not, a maiden, that is. Tawny the Trailer Tramp is up for any odd jobs.
4. The cranky old fart behind the bar, is your beloved barkeep, me. Just for the record, he is blinder than any known bat and/or mole. However, Terance, being a tarantula, has more than enough of them to keep the place covered. BTW, Mike (OcenaRunner) is the back-up, relief, second string Barkeep because he was the last one to reach the door when I asked for volunteers.

So Reg, what'll you have to drink? That also goes for the rest of you lounge lizards. Only difference is Reg's drink will go on Mike's tab.

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 22 Apr 2017 09:55

Jen, no problem. I'm a past (my prime master) at not filling canceled and/or non-existent orders. The thing is, G-Man and Victor-the-Wonder-Dog, are going on a field trip to check out springtime in Kansas. Just what, exactly, do you and the Lyf-unit plan on checking out during your field trip into the stock room?

If Hannah stops by, I'll tell her I haven't seen you which is, of course, something like a reasonable bit of verisimilitude

Okay, any more orders and/or non-orders?.

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 22 Apr 2017 09:07

Gretings, weekend moaners and groaners.

Happy 'Earth Day' to any Earthlings we may have among us.

Got about 4-5 orders for coffee, plus a beer or two and some lemonade. Anything else while I'm working like a galley slave behind this bar

glasses8?

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 21 Apr 2017 12:15

G-Man, here's your coffee. Try not to spill any on the bar 'cause it really messes up the finish

Seeker, there's just enough OJ in this screwdriver to give it a touch of orange color. So I take it you didn't 'cotton' to my poem prompt of "There once was a lady in France.' No problem. What about, 'There once was a man from Nantucket'? Just a thought.

I'm beginning to wonder if MP and BC are up to something. Okay, strike that 'if' and add, 'what'. ;)

Anybody in Zealandia or Aussieland need a big mug of coffee to help them get over their Friday night excesses? As for the rest of you...it's party time. So what'll ya have to drink?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 21 Apr 2017 07:42

Seeker, since I've already entered, you can be assured of not finishing last. What about beginning a shorty with: There was a young lady from France? ;)

BC, ya wanna lemonade or a 'Hannah'. Heck, since it's you, what about both...at a special, discounted price?

Tanya, ya want that coffee with cream, sugar, brandy or straight up?

What about the rest of you omega-types?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 21 Apr 2017 05:33

Greetings and best wishes for a TGIF celebration you won't be able to remember.

Phil, was that really you making those indecent propositions? I mean, the propositioner smelled just like hot buttered popcorn. ;)

The sacred and ceremonial coffee urn is making those noises that mean another batch of Rumplations Best Brew is ready to be inflicted on the world. There's also some fresh OJ ready to be mixed with vodka, tequila, rubbing alcohol, etc.. So what'll y'all have?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 20 Apr 2017 19:39

Tanya, I'll have you know the popcorn around here is so fresh it'll crawl out of the bag to make indecent propositions...honest. ;)

Here's your cold beer. Glad you liked that third story on my sig line. Since it's my only RR, I'm down-right fond of the poor thing.

Any more drink orders?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 20 Apr 2017 15:39

What's happening, y'all? It's 91 f this afternoon out here in the desert and the weather folks say it'll hit 100 soon. Ah, springtime in Arizona. Anyway, iced or just cold drinks would seem to be in order such as the iced coffee G-Man requested.

I'm gone for a few hours and this joint breaks into the 'Name Game'. Just for the record, I tend to use the shortest name available or the one I remember. Since 'Jen' is, name-wise, shorter than 'Jennifer' or 'Heratelia' which I can neither spell or identify, she's probably stuck with 'Jen'.

BTW, don't none of you guys ask for one of them 'Unicorns' Starbucks is hustling. What we got here, coffee-wise, is something that resembles, more or less, real coffee.

Okay, enough with the witty, congenial banter. What do you deadbeats wanna drink?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 19 Apr 2017 18:42

It is a truth, universally acknowledged, at least in the South, that if the entire region was doomed to go to hell, they'd all have to make a connection in Atlanta to get there.

Sprite has generously offered to spring for the best 3.2 beer in the Rumplations state-of-the-art ice box. Hmm, so many choices, so little time. What about 'Really, Really Lite Falstaff?

Gil, hope you're feeling better soon. Fortunately, Mike's new story will at least get you in a better mood.

Okay, who'll be the first to chug-a-lug some of that fine Falstaff, the pride of the Griesedich family?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 19 Apr 2017 13:30

BC, sorry about your tribulations. Occurred to me that a hot, Long Island Tea, made with pre-sugared, 'sun brewed' tea, a bit of honey liqueur and maybe a slice of pineapple might do the trick...or possibly kick-start diabetes.

G-Man, for some folks, life is just a steady stream of chores. Fortunately, I'm not one of those folks, but I can at least sympathize if not empathize. Here's your coffee. BTW with summer coming on, do you ever drink iced coffee?

Some newbie announced on a couple forums that he liked 'first time' stories. Hannah said that was nice while Seeker suggested he might try the 'First Time' forum.

Such clever batanoge got me to wondering if there were more stories about first time experiences not pigeonholed in the 'First Time' category.

Any thoughts? Even more important, any orders for drinks?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 19 Apr 2017 09:29

Greetings to all who enter seeking serenity, quiet contemplation, and restrained good taste. To such folks, well, better luck next time.

Mike, you left even more detrtus than usual in the stock room which Tawny is presently dispatching while invoking what must be the trailer park equivalent of blessings upon your head.
BTW, what's this entry in the ledger for wax jobs and hot oil? I mean, those should be separate entries, of course.

As yet another fine, free customer service, I tried to feel Jen's pain at coming in buck nekkid and covered with oil only to find no combatants waiting for her. But, she said, in a most assertive manner, that what I was feeling was most definitely not her feelings. (sigh)

(replaces the flat beers sitting in front of Coma and Tose with two new mugs of flat beer) Okay, there are orders cued up for vodka, coffee, tequila, Hannah's, etc., etc., etc.. Any other orders, you know, for something to drink?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 18 Apr 2017 17:04

Seems like a good time was being had by all...before I showed up.

Just wanted to leave and inspirational thought for all the would-be authors of bestsellers.

Writing is like prostitution. First you do it for love, and then for a few close friends, and then for money.-- Moliere

Mike, you're in charge, more or less. I'm off to teach a room full of 'light dependent lifeforms' how to eat while blindfolded, or some such.

Want a drink? Yell at, Mike.

glasses8