Forum posts made by rumpleforeskin

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 21 Feb 2017 10:25

All right, no shoving. You'll all get served, sooner or later.

Thanks for that link, Hannah. And as a token of appreciation, here's a 'Hannah' to wash down the taste of all that tea. ;)

Seeker, be nice to BC and BC may (or may not) be nice to you...and let you use the spoon for your own tea.

MP, both you and Nora Jones are prime examples of, goodness. (slides over two GoldSchlagers)

Verbal, just to make today even spookier, it's Kurt Cobain's 50th birthday. I'm not into horoscopes, still... .

On that festive note, who's ready for a drink?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 21 Feb 2017 07:44

Greetings, BC. Just so happens there was a half-empty can of Earl Grey tea bags under the bar. No idea what it was doing there...probably hiding. Will that do ya right?

And speaking of, "Infinite Jest" today is the birthday of, David Foster Wallace. Came across that factoid and a short bio of him on today's 'The Writers Almanac with Garrison Keillor. I'll post a link to the write-up. If it doesn't work, very likely, just google the site and check it out. It's free and worth a daily peek, imo.

http://writersalmanac.org/

Here's ya hot water, tea bag, spoon, etc., etc...

Any more tea-sippers? The sacred urn was cleaned, sorta, only last week so today's brew should be memorable. The rest is up to you. Play your cards right and BC might even let you have her spoon when she's finished.

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 21 Feb 2017 04:39

Greetings dwellers in the light of Lush literature.

Mustang, it's breaking my heart and tearing it apart to tell you this, but around here, it ain't what you order that gets you drunk, but what you get. Sad to say, but you can either bring your own or wait until Tanya can work on her cousin Buford, the day shift maintenance engineer over at the liquor store, to add your brand of high-tone Scotch to the store's regular order when the day manager isn't looking. And while Tanya loves her calling as a procurer of fine liquors, so to speak,, getting around to your request may take a few days since, Little Duchess, put in her bid first. Oh yeah, there is a third alternative. Care to try some 'Safeway Scotch'? Unlike our bar Scotch, you never can tell what it will taste like...bit of an adventure.

Just got a message from Ping that he has a new story, "Out of Habit" that is probably still on the front page.

Now on to new business, or any business for that matter...for instance, who wants a drink?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 20 Feb 2017 20:18

Your Highness and Mustang, welcome, both of you, to this abode of anarchical abandonment. I'd give you a list of some of the things that have been abandone in here, but it would be a long, long list. However, at the top would be clothes and inhabitions. (slides over a scotch) Here ya go. Enjoy while Laura's paying.

Little Duchess, ma'am, sorry to say, but we ain't got none of whatever it was you ordered. However, next time you stop in Tanya may have coaxed some of the stuff out of her cousin, Rubin, the ass'tnight manager over at the liquor store. So be sure to come back. Okay?
Speaking of Laura, seems she and Mike have stepped into the back room for some serious international relationship type intercoursing. Not sure exactly what's going on in there, but I do believe Mike just shouted, "Zealandia forever!" so things seem to be getting on jes' fine.

Milik, glad you stopped by. If you and Buz ever show up at the same time with you cigars going, we won't have to worry about mosquitos for weeks. BTW, next time try to convince your lady fair to join you. This is, after all, a class joint where most of the patrons have had their shots and a goodly number claim to be housebroken.

Gil, read your story, thought it was great, voted and commented accordingly. IMO, it could be a contender.

Verbal, hate to hear your sad tidings. Sounds like it's time to either start some serious drinking, or writing, or both.

And speaking of drinking, what'll y'all have?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 20 Feb 2017 05:35

Greetings, to all Zealandiaers and Zealandia wanna-be's.

Laura, 'Zea Lady from Zealandia' wants everything on the 'drinks menu'. Just one question: What in the name of 'Jackson Daniels' is a 'drinks menu'?

As to Mike on a stripper pole, just imagining that spectacle makes being blind seem like a sound alternative.

As for Laura smooching with Buz, or vice versa, my only advice would be to wait, possibly for some time, until he's finished his cigar.

And to show our support for President DJ Trump and his concerns over non-existent traumatic events in Sweden...day old Swedish meatballs liberated from Ikea are now available.

All right, who's ready for coffee and/or an eye-opener?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 19 Feb 2017 22:08

(slides two double Black Jacks on the rocks, a Hannah and a mug of 'Bottom of the Barrel' beer to those in waiting)

Okay, what follows now is a repost 'cause the original got overlooked being as how it ended up as the last post on the previous page...or something like that.

xxx

Happy ZEALANDIA Day!

It is a truth, never before acknowledge, that Rumplations has acquired a customer from a hitherto unknown land. She isn't a new customer, quite the contrary, but her place of origin has expanded.

The subject of this fulsome foolishness is, of course, Laura, aka Zea Lady from Zealandia.

For the geographically challenged among us, Zealandia is our planet's newest continent. No one noticed it before on account as how most of it is under water. The only parts above the surface are: New Zealand and New Caladonia.

The thing is, like, you know, it's still over a week until Mardi Gras Day, but it's not every year we can combine that with the discovery of a new continent. So whadda ya say we let the good time begin to roll!

Now, what'll y'all have to drink?

glasses8


Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 19 Feb 2017 10:52

Happy ZEALANDIA Day!

It is a truth, never before acknowledge, that Rumplations has acquired a customer from a hitherto unknown land. She isn't a new customer, quite the contrary, but her place of origin has expanded.

The subject of this fulsome foolishness is, of course, Laura, aka Zea Lady from Zealandia.

For the geographically challenged among us, Zealandia is our planet's newest continent. No one noticed it before on account as how most of it is under water. The only parts above the surface are: New Zealand and New Caladonia.

The thing is, like, you know, it's still over a week until Mardi Gras Day, but it's not every year we can combine that with the discovery of a new continent. So whadda ya say we let the good time begin to roll!

Now, what'll y'all have to drink?

glasses8

Topic Competition Entries should be SOLO efforts
Posted 19 Feb 2017 09:37

It may just be me, probably is, but getting to the audio versions of stories seems a bit complicated. If possible, turning the 'audio version available' notice into a link to the audio main page might help guide newbies and those with little sense of direction to the listing. Just a thought.

glasses8

Topic Your favourite story title?
Posted 19 Feb 2017 09:25

While we're 'dog-piling' on StormDog, so to speak, I'll add his, "Big Dick's Trucking Service, Inc." to the list.

As for lil' moi, any of the titles on my sig line would do with the second one being just a bit 'more equal' than the others.

glasses8.

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 18 Feb 2017 10:22

(slides a frosty flagon, or something sort of resembling one, of 'Bottom of the Barrel' beer over to Emerson) Big E, what you now have before you is...let's just say, very interesting. Enjoy.

And speaking of, enjoying, that just what I did while reading your entry. BTW, don't feel shy about posting links here to any of your stories, especially new ones. By now, it should be obvious this joint ain't got no standards, so link your brains out.

Any more calls for alcohol?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 18 Feb 2017 08:38

Greetings, tellers of torrid tales.

First things first. (slides a 'Hannah' over to Hannah and a 'Bottom of the Barrel' beer to Mike)

Okay, now what's all this about an entry from the Mike-unit? I mean, whatever happened to those old-fashioned virtues of sloth, procrastination? not to mention lack of imagination?

As for other 'good' entries, I'd suggest those of our own Brown Coffee (Security)Storm Dog (Queen of the Road) and Emerson's which is so new I haven't read it yet nor can I recall the title, so there.

Anybody else need a drink around here?

glasses8

Topic Pelacanos on Writing
Posted 18 Feb 2017 03:01

Thought some might enjoy reading this perspective on writing by crime novelist, George Pelecanos..

“Either you want to tell a story or you don’t. Do you want to draw attention to yourself and your own writing and your beautiful style or do you want to be invisible and let the story and the characters take over for the reader. That’s what it comes down to for me."

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 16 Feb 2017 19:33

I'll have you two know that Brother Noah is a man for all season, a great American and, apparently, a total horn-dog.

Laura, here's your 'Hannah'. Big E, you sure you're up to a 'Dirty Martini'? The Rumplations' version uses our very own private lable ingrediants, including, 'Gunga Gin'.

Any more orders before I listen to a re-run of the Trump press conference. I just luv, Unreality TV.

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 16 Feb 2017 11:43

** NEWS FLASH!! **

Rumplation's Endorses for Governor...

Noah Dyer (D) announced he’s running for Arizona governor by oversharing details of his life in a way most politicians’ would not dare.

From his official biography:


Noah has had both deep and casual sexual experiences with all kinds of women. He is an advocate of open relationships. He has sent and received intimate texts and pictures, and occasionally recorded video during sex. Noah has always been forthright with his partners, seeking the same in return. All of his relationships have been legal and consensual, never coercive, or abusive, and he condemns such behavior. Noah is unapologetic about his sexual choices, and wishes others the same.


As a once and forever supporter of 'Kinky Friedman's valiant, if failed, bid for Governor of Texas, I can state, unequivocally, that the management and staff of Rumplation's believe Brother Noah is just what every state needs.

Remember, get your drinks here, then vote early and vote often.

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 16 Feb 2017 11:19

Afternoon, sex fiction fans and fiends.

(slides a Hannah over to Lilly) Here you go, young lady.

As for older stories of mine, the first two on my sig line are getting pretty long in the tooth. If you've never read: "Hardcandy" by Dancing Doll, "Jennifer's Eggnog" by Jaymal, and "Blondie and the Black Knight" by Sprite, I'd strongly suggest you do so, ASAP.

Emerson, you need a refill on your, Hannah, or are you ready for something with a bit more zest?

I'll now make my way to the main page to enrich what passes for my mind with Big E's contest entry.

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 16 Feb 2017 08:12

Morning, Big E. Nothing that mysterious about a 'Hannah'. It's essentially just a customized, Monoco. The base recipe calls for grenadine, beer, and some clear, sparkiling beverage such as: ginger ale, club soda and 7-Up.There are a whole hosts of variations including replacing the beer with vodka or just omitting the alcohol altogether for those on the wagon. The Rumplations variant was dubbed the, "hannah' and has been well received, especially by certain ladies who are, I suppose, trying to stay semi-sober at least until after sunset and/or they finish writing for the day.

You wanna give one a try?

glasses8.

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 16 Feb 2017 06:06

Morning, Lilly. Afternoon, BC. Lilly, you have come upon a small hole in my in-head data base when it comes to morning drinks on the rocks. Maybe iced coffee with a healthy shot of Beaver Breath Brandy? Me, I'm open to suggestions, especially the segestive types. And BTW, no jokes from the rest of you about that 'small hole' of mine resembling the Grand Canyon.

Hannah, it being afternoon out your way, would hot steaming coffee hit the spot or would a 'Hannah' be more appealing?

This morning's breakfast buffet (we call it, Jimmy) includes: burritos, tacos, enchiladas, all available with or without eggs. So what'll y'all have to drink to help wash down all that goodness?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 15 Feb 2017 19:59

Emerson, welcome to the dingiest, dirtiest, and in general, most disgusting blight on the Lush landscape.

Best I recall, Verbal (Jeff) wants water. (quick aside) What is it with all this water drinking around here? at this rate, the ghost of W.C. Fields will get up from the corner table where he's rumored to reside with Coma and Tose and execute and exit. (sigh)

Laura wants a Corona Fog and maybe some 'stick 'em for her hands if she gets cranking on that pole.

Emerson, do believe you ordered a double-bourbon. If not, it's still what you're gonna be getting. BTW, The booze is a hand-crafted elixir Mike stumbled across (literally) in the bucolic burg that gave the stuff its name, Big Beaver Lick, Ky. Enjoy.

Okay, anybody out there want a real drink?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 15 Feb 2017 05:52

Greetings, Mike. You know how it is around here, turn your back for a second and all heck-e-darn breaks out. If a Mimosa is what you want, that's what you'll get. Of course, you could also have and 'enhanced' Screwdriver or a Bloody Mary that can double-up as paint stripper. It's your call.

Laura, you still want that Long Island Tea or one of those drinks I offered Mike instead?

Brown Coffee has posted the third installment in her 'Sugar' series. For the time being, it should still be on the main page. Check it out.

Time's running out for entering the current Lush writing contest. My sieve-like memory being what it is, or isn't, as the case may be, let's have a roll call of folks who have entered or may still put their ore in the literary lake.

Emerson, I noticed you lurking about. Check in and Mike will buy y ou a drink and, if you're really lucky, Laura may even flirt with you just a bit.

All right, already, who else around this dive needs a drink?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 14 Feb 2017 10:36

Seeker! Mega-congrats on making it a quarter of a century in harness. As for that beer, no problem. As for that 'Sprite' well, you'll have to take that up with 'Her Spriteness'. She's pretty fiestly.

Okay, any more orders?

glasses8

Topic Which improvements or features would you like to see added?
Posted 14 Feb 2017 07:56

With a heavy heart, I turn from my practical, even sensible,suggestion about creating a category to showcase Legendary and Famous stores, and turn to the post of Liz and Buz re new badge titles.

So, like you know, what about: Badge-er? Might appeal to folks up Wisconsin way. Then again, maybe not.

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 14 Feb 2017 04:49

Greetings, fellow travelers in this land we call, Lush.

Damn, where to start. Jen, what you need is a pair of kick-ass, airborn jump boots. I'd recommend, Corcaran, but haven't had a pair on in way over 40 years IMO, you lady, are one tough broad. Hang in there and keep us posted.

Got this 'friends' message from Lilly. Since there's no way I could ever come up with more appropriate, or well written' Valentine's Day sentiments, I'm taking the liberty of posting it here.

A new message has been sent to you from Lilly.

Most of my friends have played a part in my journey here, both in becoming a writer and in finding my person. I would have never dreamed that I would have ever been brave enough to pack a lifetime's worth of belongings and move cross country in search of love. But I found the courage to jump, and I found a man who kept his word and caught me. Everyone needs a soft place to land.

As Valentine's Day is upon us and we all post pictures and emails of well wishes, I thought I would share my wish for each of you my dear friends. If you ever get a chance to experience pure happiness, whether in love, work etc. JUMP, the only regret would be never knowing what could have been.


I wish everyone great happiness, lots of love and a ridiculous amount of sex!

Bear hugs,
Lilly

I have been in a particularly sappy mood since the move (shocker, I know) but I think it resulted in a couple poems that speak what we carry in our hearts.

As a Valentine gift I wrote this for my man who has shown me all of himself. What more could we ask for but to get to love all of someone.

https://

For the romantics that find themselves creepily watching your lover sleep, wondering what they are dreaming about, As he Sleeps.

https://

Thank you to anyone who has taken time to read, hope you found pieces of yourself in them. Happy Valentine's Day!


Told y'all it was better than anything I could ever do.

So who needs a St. Valentine's Day drink?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 13 Feb 2017 03:00

It's Monday. Odds are it's gonna be the same all day. Sorry about that.

Let's PIMP again, like we did last summer! Yes, that's right, your old barkeep has not just one, but two stories to pimp.

ServedJust Right (Lush)
http://www.storiesspace.com/stories/general/a-week-in-the-nurses-dorm.aspx

A Week in the Nurses Dorm (Stories Space)
http://www.storiesspace.com/stories/general/a-week-in-the-nurses-dorm.aspx

Here's the deal: The Lush story 'Served Just Right' is in the 'Lesbian' category. It recounts the seduction of one female student nurse by another after some serious drinking in a dorm room. It is totally fictional, based solely on my dirty imagination...honest.

The Stories Space epic is also set in a student-nurses' dorm and, yes, two of the four characters will strike some as being similar to those in, 'Served Just Right.' The difference being that 'A Week in the Nurses Dorm'(General Category) is a fictionalized version of real-life experiences...honest.

Check 'em out if you get a chance and then pretty please let me know how you think they could be improved.

Now who needs a morning eye-opener?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 13 Feb 2017 00:31

Late, late evening, Gil and/or early, eraly morning. I think it was Churchill who called his own insomnia, 'The Black Dog'.

Drink-wise, probably the best I can offer is some hot chocolate either with or w/o a touch of brandy.

Sorry you didn't get out on the water but considering the way folks north of you are getting slammed, 'just' having to deal with high winds and rain is a blessing, of sorts.

Congrats on coming up with a contest idea. What's amazing is the idea came to you while there was still time enough to do a credible edit/re-write.

Let me know what you decide to have. Heck, there's even some of Verbal's Nyquil around here somewhere.

glasses8

Topic Which improvements or features would you like to see added?
Posted 12 Feb 2017 22:23

Little Wanker's earlier post about the difficulty of finding 'legendary/famous' stories actually got me to thinking (stop laughing, Sprite, it happens). What about creating a new category to spotlight those mega-view stories? There are ones that list EP and RR stories, if it's not a big expense or bother, one for LF stories might be a goodness.

glasses8

Topic Other Kinky Films
Posted 12 Feb 2017 04:50

I'm onboard with your thoughts, LW. For me, the sexiest film, all-time, is "A Man and A Woman" Of course, it's straight sex and romantic, but... .. It's just about the only movie I've watched where I was glad there were sub-titles instead of dubbed over English voices.

Just occurred to me that, "Last Tango in Paris" might qualify for the, kinky. The gal repeatedly cheats on her fiancé with a stranger to include the famous 'butter butt' scene.

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 12 Feb 2017 04:35

Greetings, Lushlanders.

The sacred urn is making all sorts of interesting noises so there should be whatever it is that passes for coffee around here available before long.. Meanwhile, both a Mimosa and some Drambui for Laura.

Jen, once your 'week from hell' is finished, I have a new story over on Stories Space you might find interesting and, who knows, even readable. I'll post a link a bit later (giving me a second pimp) but the title is: A Week in the Nurses Dorm.

BC, the Rainbow unit deserves many 'Happy Birthdays'. I'll journey thence and wish her well.

Okay, coffee's on. Thanks to Jen and her drink-mate, Laura, there's even an open bottle of Drambuie for those wanting to upgrade from, Beaver Breath Brandy. So what'll y'all have to drink?

glasses8

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 11 Feb 2017 16:27

Greetings, savants of sexuality.

Jen, a couple contest entries worth checking out (imo) are "Security" by BrownCoffee and "Last Rodeo Out of Town" by StrongBlue. There's a non-entry by, Emerson (can't recall the name) that is in second-person (which I loath) and is a really good read that easily earned my five. Laura and BC have also left 'thumbs-up' comments.

MP, you're on a roll. Keep on keeping on.

Now what'll you peckerwoods have to drink?

glasses8

Topic Other Kinky Films
Posted 11 Feb 2017 16:15

Good call, LW. Of course any flick with, Ali MacGraw in it is okay by me. Guys wanted to be Steve McQueen and have Ali MacGraw on or in that car. ;)

glasses8

Topic Announcing our "On the Road" Story Competition
Posted 11 Feb 2017 10:41

BC's entry, 'Security', is a good 'un. Check it out.

glasses8