About The_Young_Swell


I'm a straight, gay dog who has spent nearly ten years as an advertising copywriter for radio and television. This has left me with a debilitating work-related disability. I had always planned to try my hand at writing the Great Canadian Novel and several years ago decided to begin during a two-week vacation.

Day one I spent with my feet up searching for an idea. On day two I kept myself busy sitting beneath a tree, nibbling potato chips and scribbling plot points and back story onto a pad of yellow paper. Early on day three’s morning, I sat down at my word processor and began to write.

When I finished, I went back over my work cleaning up spelling and typos occasionally changing a word or phrase to something more elegant.

Finally, I read my story to Fizzgig, the grey Persian/Maine Coon mix who allows me to sublet part of the rooms I rent.

It took exactly sixty seconds to read.

Premature exposition! I know, but I’m working on it.

The Young Swell
Relationship Status:
Having an affair
Local Time:
20 Jun 2018 22:55
Reading and writing both prose & poetry, music appreciation, film criticism, hiking, camping and learning to speak feline.
Favorite Books:
Turnabout (Thorne Smith), The Moon is a Harsh Mistress (Robert A. Heinlein), Bug Jack Barron (Norman Spinrad), The Difference Engine (William Gibson & Bruce Sterling) The Doomsday Book (Connie Willis)
Favorite Authors:
Prose: Jane Austen, Charles Dickens, Arthur Conan Doyle, Thorne Smith, Agatha Christie, Robert A. Heinlein, Connie Willis

Plays: William Shakespeare, J. M. Barrie, Howard Brighouse, Paddy Chayefsky

Poetry & Misc: Ogden Nash, Arthur Guiterman, Will Cuppy, Corey Ford
Favorite Movies:
Two Tars - Laurel & Hardy (1928), Holiday - Cary Grant & Katherine Hepburn (1938), Kiss Them for Me - Cary Grant & Jayne Mansfield (1957), The Three Musketeers - Michael York & Raquel Welch (1973) Uncle Buck - John Candy (1989), Shakespeare in Love - Joseph Fiennes & Gwyneth Paltrow (1998), Kinky Boots- Joel Edgerton & Chiwetel Ejiofor (2005)
Favorite Music:
Beatles, Rolling Stones, Neil Diamond, Wendy Carlos, Mike Oldfield, Rick Wakeman, Kim Carnes, Kitaro, Deuter, Cirque du Soleil


Date Joined:
08 Jun 2012
Last Visit:
08 Aug 2016
Page Viewed:
1,370 times
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Topic: What is your elf name?
Posted: 28 Nov 2013 15:15

Merry Pickle-Pants <img src="/images/emoticons/baglady.gif" alt="Fugly">

So what is this thing against people born in September?

You think getting stuck with being a Virgo isn't sufficiently traumatizing?

Topic: This commercial is so funny..
Posted: 08 Jun 2013 11:25

Previous generations developed the “Whoopee Cushion,” predicated upon embarrassing others by producing the sound of flatulence when the cushion was sat upon. Contemporary devices are portable, and are meant to be set off by the jokester him/herself, thereby making him/her the butt, so to speak, of his/her own practical joke.

There's a thesis for a research paper on societal acceptance of flatulence, possibly all bodily functions, lurking in there somewhere, but one would most likely have to use it to wipe up after all the research.

Topic: Don't try this at home kids!
Posted: 31 May 2013 10:22

See what I mean, ten minute search ...


Topic: Don't try this at home kids!
Posted: 31 May 2013 10:16

I don't wish to be a spoilsport, but before anyone posts that old one about Richard Gere and the gerbil ....


Topic: This guy fucking loves his car!
Posted: 27 May 2013 13:22

This lad may well be a relative to the ginger-hackled terrorist who received third-degree burns to his lips while trying to blow up a politician's car.

<img src="/images/emoticons/baglady.gif" alt="Fugly">

Topic: What if real people delivered SPAM to your life?
Posted: 23 May 2013 16:03

As this is a writing site, GingerKitty, I like to post something every now and then which requires literacy.

And I'm not a Mr. I'm a The.

Topic: What if real people delivered SPAM to your life?
Posted: 22 May 2013 12:25

http://upload.lushstories.com/327595491-Spam Referral.jpg

Man: What you got?

Waitress: Well, there's egg and bacon; egg, sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg, bacon and spam; egg, bacon, sausage and spam; spam, bacon, sausage and spam; spam, egg, spam, spam, bacon and spam; spam, sausage, spam, spam, spam, bacon, spam, tomato and spam; spam, spam, spam, egg and spam; spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans, spam, spam, spam and spam.

Wife: Have you got anything without spam?

Waitress: Well, there's spam, egg, sausage and spam. That's not got much spam in it.

Wife: I don't want any spam!

Man: Why can't she have egg, bacon, spam and sausage?

Wife: That's got spam in it.

Man: It hasn't got as much spam in it as spam, egg, sausage and spam has it?

Wife: Could you do me egg, bacon, spam and sausage without the spam then?

Waitress: Ech!

Wife: What do you mean ech! I don't like spam!

Waitress: You can't have egg, bacon spam and sausage without the spam.

Wife: I don't like spam!

Man: Shhh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your spam. I love it. I'm having spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans, spam, spam, spam and spam.

Waitress: Shut up! Baked beans are off.

Man: Well, can I have her spam instead of the baked beans?

Waitress: You mean spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, and spam?

Poster's Note: I removed the Vikings, no one wants Vikings with their spam.

Topic: Skittles Advert
Posted: 01 May 2013 11:44

This is hilarious. But did they honestly think this would make the Super Bowl?

I have concluded that several of the edgier advertising agencies are creating on-line ads, purporting to be television commercials, which they know are beyond the pale for broadcast TV. These generate notoriety, so people purposefully search out the ads on YouTube, etc. and expose themselves to the sponsor's message. The sponsor pays only for the agency's efforts producing the ads, not the bigger expense of buying blocks of television time in which to air the commercials.

Everybody wins except the broadcasting companies.

Topic: Roses are Red
Posted: 16 Mar 2013 13:24

Roses are red,
But cactus are prickly.
One tastes rather tangy,
The other is squickly.

<img src="/images/emoticons/baglady.gif" alt="Fugly">

Topic: Roses are Red
Posted: 05 Mar 2013 13:25

Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
If you won't take my flowers,
I'll just chew on my bone.

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