angieseroticpen's Blog Entries

16 Sep 2016 06:38

Did you know that scientists are close to finding a cure for premature ejaculation? It's coming soon.

08 Sep 2016 03:29

On the way into work this morning a hitchhiker waived me down. I stopped and lowered the window. "I could do with a lift," he said. "Your hair looks nice," I said as I drove off.

02 Sep 2016 00:49

Faith is like Wi-Fi, it's invisible but it has power to connect you to what you need.

31 Aug 2016 00:53

Another day has passed and I didn't use Algebra once..... hmmm!

24 Aug 2016 04:23

I don't know about anyone else here but whenever I play a U2 song I always turn the Treble right down. It takes The Edge off it.

17 Aug 2016 03:37

My friend can only sleep on stacks of old magazines - he's got back issues.

16 Aug 2016 07:34

Okay, one for you vegetarians out there..... just switched from eating venison to pheasant. Absolute game-changer

04 Aug 2016 02:59

Pokemon Go: In my day if we wanted to look for silly creatures we'd take acid!

03 Jun 2016 05:14

Found it!

18 May 2016 01:49

Bought that new U2 SAT NAV yesterday, it's completely useless. The streets have no name and I still haven't found what I'm looking for.

17 May 2016 07:37

Campanology... does that name ring a bell with?

26 Apr 2016 07:12

Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.

21 Apr 2016 03:40

Just had a spam email advertising burial plots.... that's the last thing I b****y need.

19 Apr 2016 04:48

I'm not sure if liquor is the answer, but it's worth a shot!

08 Apr 2016 06:51

What's the difference between a kangaroo and a kangaroot? ... One is a kangaroo and the other is a Geordie stuck in a lift.

21 Mar 2016 09:08

No matter how kind your children are, German children are kinder.

17 Mar 2016 09:08

I wonder... when an adult male has a circumcision does he leave the doctor a tip?

15 Mar 2016 07:39

How come you never see a headline saying “Psychic Wins Lottery”?

29 Feb 2016 07:59

Just added to my reading queue - Geology by Roxanne Minerals and Carpet Fitting by Walter Wall.

19 Feb 2016 07:01

Being British is about driving a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then traveling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV

17 Feb 2016 05:18

In the Post Office queue this morning I was behind a man who began speaking into an empty envelope. "What are you doing?", I asked him. "Sending a voice mail," he replied.

16 Feb 2016 06:32

I was at an ATM machine this morning and an old lady asked ne to check her balance so I pushed her over.

03 Feb 2016 05:48

I started to write a story about amnesia but I cannot remember where I filed it...... I know they get worse don't they.

16 Dec 2015 01:50

Why was the turkey at the Talk Talk staff Christmas Party in such a mess? Because it was hacked.

26 Nov 2015 05:17

50 Shades of Grey? - The only way anyone is going to get me to watch that load of rubbish is to tie me up and force me.

25 Nov 2015 05:33

I picked up a hitchhiker on the way to work this morning. Well you have to when you hit them don't you...

29 Oct 2015 08:43

A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

22 Oct 2015 03:35

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, 'What the f*** happened?'

20 Oct 2015 03:58

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.

30 Sep 2015 06:53

Dealing with idiots is like soccer. You can use your head, but a swift kick is usually more effective.