angieseroticpen's Blog Entries

03 Jun 2016 05:14

Found it!

18 May 2016 01:49

Bought that new U2 SAT NAV yesterday, it's completely useless. The streets have no name and I still haven't found what I'm looking for.

17 May 2016 07:37

Campanology... does that name ring a bell with?

26 Apr 2016 07:12

Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.

21 Apr 2016 03:40

Just had a spam email advertising burial plots.... that's the last thing I b****y need.

19 Apr 2016 04:48

I'm not sure if liquor is the answer, but it's worth a shot!

08 Apr 2016 06:51

What's the difference between a kangaroo and a kangaroot? ... One is a kangaroo and the other is a Geordie stuck in a lift.

21 Mar 2016 09:08

No matter how kind your children are, German children are kinder.

17 Mar 2016 09:08

I wonder... when an adult male has a circumcision does he leave the doctor a tip?

15 Mar 2016 07:39

How come you never see a headline saying “Psychic Wins Lottery”?

29 Feb 2016 07:59

Just added to my reading queue - Geology by Roxanne Minerals and Carpet Fitting by Walter Wall.

19 Feb 2016 07:01

Being British is about driving a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then traveling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV

17 Feb 2016 05:18

In the Post Office queue this morning I was behind a man who began speaking into an empty envelope. "What are you doing?", I asked him. "Sending a voice mail," he replied.

16 Feb 2016 06:32

I was at an ATM machine this morning and an old lady asked ne to check her balance so I pushed her over.

03 Feb 2016 05:48

I started to write a story about amnesia but I cannot remember where I filed it...... I know they get worse don't they.

16 Dec 2015 01:50

Why was the turkey at the Talk Talk staff Christmas Party in such a mess? Because it was hacked.

26 Nov 2015 05:17

50 Shades of Grey? - The only way anyone is going to get me to watch that load of rubbish is to tie me up and force me.

25 Nov 2015 05:33

I picked up a hitchhiker on the way to work this morning. Well you have to when you hit them don't you...

29 Oct 2015 08:43

A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

22 Oct 2015 03:35

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, 'What the f*** happened?'

20 Oct 2015 03:58

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.

30 Sep 2015 06:53

Dealing with idiots is like soccer. You can use your head, but a swift kick is usually more effective.

19 Sep 2015 03:23

Did you know that 3 out of every 2 people have difficulty understanding fractions?

18 Sep 2015 03:12

Never in the field of banking, has so much been owed, by so few, to no one at all.

17 Sep 2015 06:28

I don't mind coming to work but that eight hour wait to go home is a bitch.

08 Sep 2015 01:31

Red meat is not bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.

03 Sep 2015 01:02

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop.

01 Sep 2015 07:29

I spent the bank holiday, alone, trying to learn escapology. I need to get out more

25 Aug 2015 01:54

Just deleted all my German contacts from my iPhone. It is now Hans free.

20 Aug 2015 05:11

“Patience is a bit like a toilet-roll – the bigger the arsehole you’re dealing with, the quicker it runs out.”