About buttmaster


Average straight white dude.

I don't like all this violent or "torture porn" as it's sometimes called - a lot of it gives anal a bad name. Why would I want to see a woman in pain? I also believe in keeping fit - not to washboard 6 pack standard, but healthy body healthy mind and all that.

Slightly obsessed with anal since I first felt the warm silk of a woman's bottom, aged 17.

Richard Jones
Relationship Status:
In a Relationship
I'm a keen swimmer at county level and am taking my NVQ towards gaining an equestrian qualification for teaching.
Favorite Books:
Luscious - Stories of Anal Eroticism, The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women, political stuff like What's Left and Dead Aid, anything by Bill Bryson.
Favorite Movies:
Funky 70's stuff like The Driver and The Taking of Pelham 123 (original version). Oh, and The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women of course! Can't stand crap like X-Men, Iron Man or later Spiderman kind of stuff.
Favorite Music:
Keane, Cyantific, drum n bass


Date Joined:
04 Nov 2009
Last Visit:
22 Sep 2017 (117 days ago)
Page Viewed:
2,641 times
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Topic: The BBC asks: Is it difficult to write about sex?
Posted: 30 Nov 2009 15:04

Referring to the Bad Sex in Fiction awards:

(If the link doesn't work, search for it on BBC news!)

Topic: Gals: Would you like stories read to you in a British voice?
Posted: 18 Nov 2009 00:37

HELL YES Pleeeeeease!!!!!!!!
OK, well, I pm'd you already, but here it is for others (don't think this paste is going to work here!


Edit: as I thought, not. You need to add before that link, and after the // and it will work!

Topic: Some of the adverts...ha!
Posted: 12 Nov 2009 01:09

I know the adverts pay our way here, so I won't name and shame, but right now I'm looking at one on the right of a story which claims that if you have a 5.5" penis, within 3 months of taking this supplement, you'll have an 11.5" megaschlong! It's great that it pays the bills, but seriously, does anyone actually believe claims like that?!

I saw another that said it would increase your length by 6"! I mean, seriously, what a waste of money.. what the hell would I do with an 18" cock?! ( :-" )

Topic: Gals: Would you like stories read to you in a British voice?
Posted: 10 Nov 2009 13:24

I would absolutely love to hear my 3 part story about my English boss (My Biggest Secret Pt. 1, 2 & 3) read by you. I'd have to do a little rewrite so you would be the narrator but no problem there. I find a man with an English accent the absolute sexiest of all!!! OK, it might well happen!

But before you do any rewrites, best have a listen first! I'll record one of mine in about a week's time, and send it in. If you like it, then you can do a rewrite and I'll read yours.

Topic: Gals: Would you like stories read to you in a British voice?
Posted: 07 Nov 2009 07:12

Not at all, I'm not suggesting charging for reading it. I'm not fussed one way or the other. Take it or leave it, the offer is there. I'm not going to be offended if there's no takers, I was just interested to note that virtually all erotica is read by women for men.

Topic: Gals: Would you like stories read to you in a British voice?
Posted: 07 Nov 2009 04:53

You mean, like, BBC received pronunciation Home Counties Jeeves and Wooster?

No - just warm, apparently.

Topic: Gals: Would you like stories read to you in a British voice?
Posted: 07 Nov 2009 02:54

I don't even know if the site will let me do this, but I've got a professionally trained accent-neutral warm British voice. I was just wondering what the interest was in having a male reader around here?
I couldn't do loads, but I'd be interested to know.

Topic: Where was the craziest place u had sex in?
Posted: 07 Nov 2009 02:49

This reminds me of that infamous clip where an American DJ is doing a quiz and he asks a woman "Where's the craziest place you've ever had sex".
She goes coy for a while, and eventually says "in the butt", which is clearly not the answer they were expecting!

Wish I could find it again. It used to be on youtube.

Topic: HELP! All formatting stripped from my stories today!
Posted: 07 Nov 2009 02:41

Thank you Nicola, and thanks for getting them approved quickly! I didn't want to start contacting site admins in case it was something temporary that was known about or a "stupid newb" question! Thanks for your quick response.

Topic: HELP! All formatting stripped from my stories today!
Posted: 07 Nov 2009 02:18

Disaster! I went to read a comment on one of my stories and noticed that ALL my stories had lost all their formatting sometime in the last 24 hours. No line or paragraph breaks.

I also notice that just by pressing "edit" then "submit", it put it right back to how it was before! Trouble is, it just means more work for the moderators as they have to recheck checked stories.

I added to paragraph below by way of explanation to my edit.

Moderator: For some reason, all my stories appear to have been "mangled" over the last day or so, so there are no line breaks. I found that by clicking "edit" then just saving again it put it back to how it was a couple of days back. No other changes have been made to the story.

Please remove this line and paragraph above upon approving reformatted story.

I just wondering if this is a recurring bug, or just with my stories or something?

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Stories Published By buttmaster All Stories »

The Training of Francesca, Part 2

Note: Please take a moment to rate this, and if you rate 3 or less, please just leave a constructive comment. I'm new to writing; I'm just sketching out memories here, trying to get the right balance between detail and dialogue. Your feedback and encouragement will help me when it comes to writing fiction and fantasy. By the way, Francesca is an Italian name, so is pronounced Franchesca. On...

Added 11 Nov 2009 | Category Anal | Votes 9 | Avg Score 4.78 | Views 10,479 | 6 Comments

Training Francesca - Part One

Note: For our American readers, the word "pants" mean underpants here, and "Slug and Lettuce" is a chain of pubs. For legal reasons I should probably point out that I have never been served slug! Finally, I use British English spellings, what with being British and that. This is a true story. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy remembering it. Part One: I met Francesca...

Added 07 Nov 2009 | Category Anal | Votes 6 | Avg Score 4.67 | Views 10,458 | 2 Comments

Paris In The Spring

The story below is a fantasy written for my current girlfriend a couple of years ago. She had to go for a 3-day business trip to Paris, we'd been together 3 months by then, and it was hot and it was rough and yet gentle, but there was one place I hadn't been allowed, and I was utterly gagging for her there! I thought a little story might help - the kind of thing she'd enjoyed me writing...

Added 06 Nov 2009 | Category Love Stories | Votes 7 | Avg Score 4.86 | Views 4,241 | 5 Comments

If only all work events ended like this...

The "story" below is actually true. Whether you believe that or not is up to you, but I wrote it nearly ten years ago. I jotted it down at the time as I could do or think of nothing else but the night before. So I recreated the moment by writing it all down! So, it's really just a memory. I found it on a floppy backup disk recently - hopefully someone might enjoy it!...

Added 05 Nov 2009 | Category Anal | Votes 11 | Avg Score 4.55 | Views 13,991 | 4 Comments

A night to remember

Intro: The story below is, of course, a fantasy. The nice part is that the story was driven with ideas from a real, live, woman in my office. I wrote this story for her - we couldn't have "a real thing" because of our partners at the time, but instead we had Lisa and Layla! It's the first story I wrote, years ago, and I don't think this is my best, but it's a start here at Lush, so feel free...

Added 04 Nov 2009 | Category Lesbian | Votes 7 | Avg Score 4.29 | Views 4,641 | 6 Comments

Friends Comments

Happy Birthday from the Lush team.
01 Jan 2014 00:20
Happy Birthday from the Lush team.
30 Dec 2011 16:57
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