I originally joined Lush to read the erotic stories and, surprisingly, made some really cool friends along the way. The never ending list of NO's: No cams, No MSN, No Yahoo, No phone #'s, No hookups, No cyber, No shoe jizzers, and No I'm not sending you any $$ shots OR my used panties, but thanks for asking (sarcasm; please don't ask). So, if you're looking for any of the "No's," you might want to try elsewhere. If you are OK with a funny, sarcastic, usually always ridiculous chat on Lush, then I would love to hear from you.Wall posting guidelines: If you're putting it on my wall, please make sure that it's erotic and tasteful or funny and tasteless.
Yes, It was Friday. So am I right to assume there were no panties under those jeans? HAHA Friday? Just Friday!?! Maz was free ballin' all weekend. Don't ask me how I know...
I love profanity as a normal part of a vocabulary. Especially women. I think of profanity as punctuation. Fuck, yea!!
Sitting on the deck having a cup of coffee with Mazza! It's been a great weekend.
OMG!!! Maz and CG running wild in the heartland. Let me know if you need someone to post bail!! HAHA Seriously, I hope you both have a lots of fun!! Right? Can you believe it?!? Nikki, Keep that bail money handy!
It's Friday, and we all know what that means... http://40.media.tumblr.com/3e753413aea76ddcc66beba8f41906d7/tumblr_nip09cyaOb1sbym8so1_400.jpg http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-dE4fXIDBqao/UV4zAVRTSkI/AAAAAAAADSg/t_ZEjl-fI5M/s1600/x2_ec38d7d.jpg http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view6/4710435/zoolander-walk-off-hansel-underwear-trick-o.gif
So, I opened the brown envelope that came in the mail yesterday, Saturday 21st March, 2015, and inside, effective from the 13th, was my... WooHoo!!! That's awesome! Congrats, Te11! http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y221/cyberneticghostofxmaspast/GIFS/YES/HIGHFIVE.gif http://cdn-www.i-am-bored.com/media/thumbnails/champagne-shower-o .gif
How about instead of Falling Panties Friday, Falling in your panties on Friday?? http://i32.tinypic.com/1zxsdqu.jpg http://durham.tab.co.uk/files/2012/10/590980921_9af85a7e631.jpg https://pbs.twimg.com/tweet_video_thumb/B4okTdqCMAAjo56.png
When I have multiple orgasms the first one is small, kind of a tease. Then there will be a series of orgasms, each (anywhere from 5 to 8) increasing in intensity and length. Finally it culminates in a long incredibly intense orgasm. Usually I will thrash around and get loud and most times I will squirt ( not a porn vid like geyser but more a gush). Most times I need a few minutes to recover, one time I even blacked out for a few seconds.I don't always have multiples. I have never had them just from penetration with a guy. They are most frequent when with a woman and she is licking my clit and using a toy on my G-spot. Having anal beads in my ass at the same time also is a good trigger for me ! You naughty little multitasker! Depends on my mood. A lot of times I'm one and done. Definitely toys or oral do the trick. Like the lovely Nikki, it's never just from penetration.
If I hurried, I had time to drive home, take a quick shower, get dressed and still not be late for my dinner date with Jason. He was working late, so he would be meeting me at the restaurant. Since I knew he wouldn’t be stopping home first, it gave me time to get my naughty surprise ready for him. Hopping out of the shower, I quickly dried off, rubbed on some lotion and made sure I was...
Added 08 Nov 2012 | Category Toys
| Votes 115 | Avg Score 4.94
| Views 48,112
| 57 Comments
“Hi, this is Lana,” Janey said in a breathy voice into the phone. She looked in the mirror and smiled at her image and continued, “Is anyone else excited it’s Friday? Why don’t you call me and tell me your naughty plans for the weekend. Maybe we can have some fun together?” Janey added, “Call me!” as she hung up the phone. Looking closer in the mirror, Janey noticed a few stray hairs on...
Added 14 Mar 2013 | Category Humor
| Votes 87 | Avg Score 4.92
| Views 19,005
| 55 Comments
This is a story written jointly by myself and my pal, Mazza. We’ve had a forum thread, Curlygirly and Mazza’s Big Sandwich, running for quite a while now on Lush and we thought that it might be fun to write about how things might go, if we could actually make it happen. We hope you enjoy reading it as much as we enjoyed writing it! Curligirly picked up her ridiculous bubble-gum...
Added 06 Jan 2013 | Category MILF
| Votes 44 | Avg Score 5
| Views 9,711
| 32 Comments
This is a story jointly written by myself and my partner in crime, Mazza. Mazza woke, her head was pounding. She opened her eyes and the room swam in and out of focus. What a mess! Champagne bottles, empty glasses and food wrappers were strewn everywhere. “Where the hell am I?” She thought as she began to sit up on the sofa, which was a mistake, as her head immediately began to spin...
Added 24 Jul 2013 | Category Group Sex
| Votes 38 | Avg Score 4.92
| Views 6,720
| 25 Comments
I drove to Jason’s office to pick him up so we could go out dinner. I was arriving earlier than expected and, if I planned things right, most of the office staff would be leaving while he finished up his weekly conference call. Two of the qualities which most attracted me to Jason were his unwavering confidence and his total self control. However, making him lose control was an immense turn...
Added 10 Oct 2012 | Category Masturbation
| Votes 50 | Avg Score 4.91
| Views 7,981
| 30 Comments
I thought I had to do it on my own But you showed me I wasn’t alone Day in and day out I could count on you without a doubt For months it was just you and me I always thought that we would be When times were tough You came through sure enough When every day seemed a trial Only you could make me smile You helped me greet the day And got me on my way Before I...
Added 07 Dec 2012 | Category Love Poems
| Votes 22 | Avg Score 5
| Views 2,513
| 15 Comments
On the first day of Christmas, my true love sent to me A sex swing for the pear tree. On the second day of Christmas, my true love sent to me Two dove gray blindfolds, And a sex swing for the pear tree. On the third day of Christmas, my true love sent to me Three French maid outfits, Two dove gray blindfolds, And a sex swing for the pear tree. On the fourth day...
Added 13 Dec 2012 | Category Love Poems
| Votes 18 | Avg Score 4.72
| Views 2,460
| 12 Comments
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