Life is too Short to hate someone... Indeed the person with patience will achieve SUCCESS. Life has never been simple or easy but always believed in smiling and keep the world around me quite happy... Wished i could find a solution for the world for the memories that they carry... I am quite emotional so can be overly caring about someone... To know more about me, you can add me or ask me... Sometimes i might also need someone who would want to listen to me like i would listen to them... Hopefully the journey continues....
No favourite stories listed.
Not following any authors
A young wife, who was becoming frustrated with her young husbands constant demands for sex, decides to make a schedule for him, to cut down on the amount of times that they will have to make love for the rest of their marriage.While getting ready for work, she writes on a piece of paper, "Honey, you know I love you, but your never ending requests for sex are leaving me drained and really tired. So I propose that we only have sex on days that start with the letter 'T', to minimise the frequency of our lovemaking sessions. Don't be mad at me honey, just understand where I am coming from, and let me know if my request is too demanding of you."On her way out the door, she uses a refrigerator magnet and sticks the note to the fridge door, hoping that her sex craved husband will be understanding and accepting of her proposal when he reads it.Upon returning home, she glances at the refrigerator and notices that her note has been replaced with a note from her husband that reads, "Baby, I didn't' realize that I was putting you under so much pressure and I'm sorry. I accept your proposal and have even taken the extra step of listing at the bottom of this letter, those days starting with the letter 'T' to make sure that we are on the same page.1. TUESDAY2. THURSDAY3. TODAY4. TOMORROWP.S. I love you too, and remember it's still TODA... I am waiting for you upstairs."
An Aussie drover walks into a bar with his pet crocodile by his side. He puts the crocodile up on the bar.He turns to the astonished patrons and announced, "I'll make you a deal. I'll open this crocodile's mouth and place my manhood inside. Then the croc will close his mouth for one minute. Then he'll open his mouth And I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink."The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his Johnson and related parts in the crocodile's open mouth. The croc closed his mouth as the crowd gasped.After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and smacked the crocodile hard on the top of its head. The croc opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised.The crowd cheered, and the first of his free drinks were delivered. The man stood up again and made another offer, "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try."A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar.A Blonde woman timidly spoke up, "I'll try it - Just don't hit me so hard with the beer bottle!"
A window cleaner goes to a monastery looking for work. The Abbot hires him but tells him to clean all the windows except the top three.So the window cleaner cleans all the windows except the top three for years and years until curiosity finally gets the better of him. He puts his ladder up against the first of the three windows and looks in. He sees 12 monks with their robes up and their cocks lying on a table with a mouse running around on top of the table.The window cleaner goes down the ladder moves to the second window and looks in. There he sees a beautiful woman and a monk in bed screwing like mad.The window cleaner goes down the ladder and puts it up against the third window. He looks in and sees a monk tied up, stripped to the waist being flogged. He climbs down the ladder, but when he gets to the bottom the Abbot is waiting for him. The window cleaner says, "Look, I know your going to fire me, but please, at least tell me what is going on up there.""Well," says the Abbot, "in the first window you saw a competition to see which is the lucky monk. Wherever the mouse stops is the lucky monk. And in the second window you saw a monk with the prize.""But what about the third window?" the window cleaner asks."Well," says the Abbot, "that monk was caught with a piece of cheese in his foreskin.
A young Blonde enrolls for a Woodwork Class. On the first day of the school term the teacher was surprised to see a rather prim young lady sitting in the front row of his classroom. Her name was Sarah and she was the only girl to sign up for the woodwork class.The bemused teacher asked Sarah if she was sure she was in the right class. Sarah assured him that she was.The teacher, still somewhat puzzled, added, "This course may be a bit out of your league. Do you have any experience at all working with tools?""What exactly do you mean?" Sarah asked."Well, for example, do you know the difference between a nail, a screw and a bolt?" the teacher expoundedAfter pondering for a moment, Sarah admitted, "I really cannot say, since I've never been 'bolted' before!"
A blonde went out on a date with her boyfriend to the movies. After the movie he took her to quite romantic mountain, parked the car and started to kiss her.As things progressed they started fondling each other. Before long they were ready to make love. He asked her if she would like to get in the back seat.She said, "No."He unbuttoned her blouse and began fondling her breasts and once again he asked her if she would like to get in the back seat.Again she said, "No!"As more and more of her clothing came off he became really hot and excited. Once again he asked her, "Would you like to get in the back seat?"And again she said, "No!"Frustrated he asked, "Why not?"To which she replied, "I want to stay in the front seat with you."
Maggie, a blonde city girl, marries a dairy farmer.One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, farmer John says to Maggie, "The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today. I drove a nail into the rail above the cow's stall in the barn. You show him where the cow is when he gets here, OK?"So then the farmer leaves for the fields. After a while, the artificial insemination man arrives and knocks on the front door. Maggie takes him down to the barn.They walk along the row of cows and when she sees the nail, she tells him, "This is the one... right here."Terribly impressed by what he seemed to think just might be another ditzy blonde, the man asks, "Tell me lady, how did you know this is the cow to be bred?""That's simple, by the nail over its stall," Maggie explains very confidently.Then the man asks, "What's the nail for?"She turns and walks away, and with complete confidence, says, "To hang your trousers on."
MBBS Professor: The Sperm is made up of Glucose, the same material Sugar is made of.A Girl raised her hand: Then why doesn't it taste like Sugar?Suddenly silence in hall.Girl: Oops.Then Professor's reply was also a Medical master piece:My dear, that's because, the taste buds are located on the tip of your Tongue and not at the end of your Throat.
A newlywed husband had to go on a business trip, and hated to leave his gorgeous, sexy blonde wife alone. The night before he left, he brought home a vibrator and gave it to her."What's this for?" she asked."It's for those lonely nights when you miss me," explained her husband, winking. "Just think of it as something to take my place when you get horny."A week later, hubby returns home, and finds the vibrator in the garbage."Honey," he says, "why did you throw it away? I told you, you should use it in my place when I'm gone.""I did," she said. "But the damned thing rattled my teeth's fillings loose."
Having downed a few drinks, a gud luking lady turned around,faced him, looked straight in the eye, and said: Listen buddy, I am always ready to get screwed by anybody, anytime, anywhere your place, my place, in the car, front door, back door, standing up,sitting down, naked or with clothes on, 24/7.The guy: No kidding ? I'm in Army too ! Which unit are you with ?PS - nothing against the army... Sorry if I hurt anyone sentiments
Three couples marry and stay at the same hotel for their honeymoons, where they are taken care of by Dave the bellboy.The first man married a nurse. Dave thinks to himself, "Nurses are known to be hot."The second man married a telephone operator. Dave thinks to himself, "Telephone operators have sexy voices."The third man married a school teacher. Dave thinks to himself, "Poor guy, teachers are too strict."The next morning, Dave reports to work and gets a room service call from the nurse's husband.He sourly says, "Don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night was 'You're not sanitary, you're not sanitary.'"Then, the telephone operator's husband calls and sourly says, "Don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I heard last night was 'Your three minutes are up, your three minutes are up.'"Later that afternoon, the teacher's husband calls and happily says, "When you marry, be sure to marry a school teacher. All I heard last night was 'We are going to do this over and over until we get it right.'"
Attach a note to this member, which only you can see.
Please tell us why you think this profile page is inappropriate.
What would you like to do?