Forum posts made by dancing_doll

Topic How To Name Your Characters
Posted 10 Nov 2011 03:19

Though try stay away from dated old fashioned names in a moden setting e.g. Mildred

This is so true. The names we choose can definitely 'date' us as writers in terms of our age. I find most writers of erotica pick names that they naturally are attracted to or are/were popular in their generation.

I've read a few stories on this site, supposedly written by 20 year old hotties, where the characters names are way out of whack with anything a 20 year old would choose for a 'young, sexy character' and more in line with someone who was picking popular names from his/her own generation about fifty years back.

Of course there are always exceptions when it comes to using a non-trendy name here or there, but if you are writing about a whole group of friends or sex partners with similarly dated or old-fashioned names in a modern story, I think it raises a few eyebrows.

Topic Innate Bisexuality
Posted 09 Nov 2011 19:05

I think that for the most part, people get uncomfortable with anything outside of the socially acceptable norm of dominant males and submissive females. And even if they are secretly turned on by going against the grain, a lot of times men will still be reluctant to be open about it.

The typical male character in an erotica story is a dominant, alpha male who knows how to take charge in the bedroom. While I think that most people will find this image universally appealing, the deeper you get into outside-the-box kink levels, the more explorative you start to become about pushing past these basic stereotypes. Stories that make the guy submissive to some degree (whether it's cuckold, strap-on, bisexual experimentation, femdom or all the way to humiliation/sissy femdom) make the average straight guy... uncomfortable. That's why I wrote my story, Fade to Black, in a way that would touch upon this issue and the fact that straight dominant guys can tap into a whole other side of themselves if they are open-minded about it. I've had really positive reaction to the story so far, so definitely no complaints from me. I actually think i had more of a 'gaak-response' to my cuckold/cum-eating story that I posted a few months ago. Embarassed

I think that many times the comments about not liking a particular kink in a story but still enjoying the story anyway speak to the fact that if a writer spins a good tale, fans will be willing to follow you down whatever rabbit hole you venture into. I follow some authors that write outside my own personal kinks/interests but their talent at writing and storytelling is what draws me in, not the sex acts themselves. In some cases I've actually become intrigued about certain kinks that I otherwise wouldn't have found particularly erotic so it definitely helps to open your mind that way.

If someone is bombing a story with a bad score because the sex act wasn't their brand of kink, then just chalk it up to a narrow-minded misguided reader. Most people should be looking at story tags before reading to make sure they know what they're getting into so there isn't any excuse for that.

But yeah, overall I think guys are more rigid in their sexual boundaries than women are (in general) and maintaining that dominant/straight image is much more of a societal pressure than anything women can understand. We live in a world where bisexual girls are celebrated (as long as they are the femme lipstick variety, of course) and the idea of a bisexual man is supposed to be a myth (men are either straight or gay with no in between allowed). I think people's reaction to stories reflect those assumptions. The idea of a bisexual guy OR a submissive/switch guy still freaks a lot of people out because they're harder for the average person to label and understand.

Topic Anal Bleaching?
Posted 08 Nov 2011 06:43

I haven't tried this yet but I'm happy with the overall colour palette of my asshole.

I don't see it as a big deal though to get bleached. It's just one step beyond a complete brazilian wax and there are endless spa procedures out there for lightening skin or scars or refining skin or tanning the rest of our bodies, so why not turn that chocolate spider vanilla if that's your preference too?

All of the things we do beyond going 'au naturel' in every way is done for cosmetic, superficial or beautifying reasons so I don't see any real difference with trying this procedure.

I don't expect to see perfect assholes on men or women (except in porn, because they are paid for the fantasy), but if someone wants to do it, then I certainly wouldn't have any issue with it. I see it as a personal maintenance choice, but definitely not expected or required.

Topic Are there different levels of unfaithfulness ?
Posted 07 Nov 2011 07:29

I'm actually not as bothered by the physical act as by the 'intimacy' involved in getting there.

If a guy gets a blow-job through a glory hole, then it's just a mouth sucking him off and actually wouldn't really bother me that much.

But, if he's met a girl that he's spending time with and making out with and it leads to oral, yes I'd be just as pissed off as if he'd fucked her.

The way I see it, infidelity is about deception with me and intimacy with another.

If he avoids both, then I don't see a problem.

But yeah, there is a big difference between a random blowjob at a bachelor party and finding out he's been 69'ing with some girl at work.

Topic Would you ever want to watch your partner fuck another woman?
Posted 07 Nov 2011 07:17

Yes, but I need to be in control of who, when and how. Then it's a turn-on, on rare occasion , not as a regular thing.

Topic Do you know who it is?
Posted 04 Nov 2011 09:34

The name of the kink you describe is called "sounding" if you want to look it up and find other similar pics/vids online to show the wife. Usually it is done with metal rods, not 'household objects', but hey I guess he was improvising.

Dear Doll.......

It's not that I'm shocked that you know what it is....... (Though I kind of am......)

It's not that you even know what it's called....... (And why do they call it 'Sounding??????")

It's not even that you seem to sound so blase about this practice that it seems like you probably tried it with some poor boy in High School and decided it didn't work for you while leaving him to only gain satisfaction ever after by inserting implements into his tool while being watched by a bored blonde girl......

What bothers me is that you seem to think this is Vanilla...........

(THAT shocks me!!!!!)

(If you dyed your hair red YOU KNOW I'd LOVE you!!!!!!)*

xx SF

* (Though not enough to stuff things up my cock......)

xx SF

Haha... you mean you don't want to play with the contents of my toolbox? When they see me coming into the hardware store, they always seem to look at me suspiciously, even though I am a blonde that technically does know how to screw in a lightbulb. Uhm, not in there , you dirty boy!

Actually I just learned about it a few months ago while having martinis with some of my gay friends. They always have the best sex stories! I definitely think this is a few flavours way past vanilla, but hey, to each his own right? If a guy wants to stuff his sausage, then more power to him.

Personally it's not my thing, and really outside of that one debauched convo that actually left me feeling like a prude, I haven't known any other guys that were prone to becoming aroused at the sight of a screwdriver or a box of sharpies.

Figging, on the other hand, is a whole other ballgame. glasses8

Topic shaving legs (haha a bit odd but wanted a general idea?) :)
Posted 03 Nov 2011 14:14

Attention Blonde Women: please shave or wax your entire legs!

You may not notice it that much when you glance down at them, but you don't want to get caught looking like this:

** I won't mention whose celebrity legs those are, but let's just say that while her "heart" may "go on", clearly her shaver did not.

Topic whats so sexy about phone sex???
Posted 03 Nov 2011 14:03

Aside from needing an obvious connection and desire for the person on the other end of the line, phone sex is really dependent on creativity and how skilled someone is with dirty talk and weaving a fantasy with another person.

In many ways, phone sex and cyber are similar to writing erotica. You are creating a scenario and verbally exploring a fantasy, except in this case you have a built-in audience of one that is giving you instant feedback. It's sort of like 'collaborating' with another person, except it's all spontaneous, in-the-moment improv. Phone sex can be mad seductive, dirty, intense and uninhibited. But... as I'm sure the story goes, as with writing erotic stories, some do it well, and others don't.

Your love or hate of phone sex is probably shaped by whatever experiences you've had with it. If you got a total 'dud' (like if all you've read in erotica was a story you'd like to vote with a score of 1), you're probably not going to become a fan of it or see how others can find it hot.

Topic Do you know who it is?
Posted 03 Nov 2011 11:27

The name of the kink you describe is called "sounding" if you want to look it up and find other similar pics/vids online to show the wife. Usually it is done with metal rods, not 'household objects', but hey I guess he was improvising.

Topic The tale of the friends list
Posted 02 Nov 2011 15:36

I'd prefer new friends on my profile page, to appear at the bottom. Every time I accept a request from someone I don't know really that well, they get put at #1 on my friend list.

Most of us prioritise our friend list so those we like the best / known the longest etc, are at the top. As it is, each time I add someone, I then have to go into my friend settings, and drag the new person out of the top section.

So yes, at the bottom please.

Definitely agree. That was one of the things that sometimes played into me not wanting to accept some random people... dragging them from what's visible on my profile page into the hidden 'Friend-List swamp' always added that extra step of effort required.

I also liked the old way it was set up where when you viewed who is online, it comes up in your personalized friend-list order (if they are online).

Topic Today in Pictures (post a picture representing your mood)
Posted 31 Oct 2011 13:07

Topic How to know when you're too picky?
Posted 30 Oct 2011 12:19

I actually don't think most people are picky enough.

I've always been very much like you in that regard. I have never been the type to date someone just for the sake of dating. I've always been of the mindset that I'd rather be single than faking it just for the sake of having a boyfriend. I've been called too picky many times as well, but quite honestly when you look at the trends to relationship disasters, broken marriages and cheating, I think people are too quick to settle or buy into the whole "you're nobody until you're part of a couple" mentality. Plus a lot of people don't feel comfortable being "alone", so they have their token boyfriend or girlfriend until something better comes along and then jump ship or start cheating.

Really feeling a connection with someone has always been a very rare thing for me, but I've always been comfortable not having 'fillers' in between the real deal. I actually wish more people were like this. It would probably cut down on a lot of divorces and broken hearts along the way.

My feeling is... if you're not feeling those butterflies or excitement to see someone, or if on the day of the date you start itching to cancel or wish you were going out with the girls instead or staying home with popcorn and a good movie, then he's not the guy for you. I used to give guys a second date sometimes "just to make sure" I wasn't into them but there hasn't been a single time that I can think of where that second date made me like a guy anymore than I did after the first one.

Topic Happy Birthday to the ONE and ONLY .. Magical_Felix
Posted 28 Oct 2011 13:22

occasion6 occasion7 occasion6 occasion7 occasion6

"Happy Birthday To You!" (pssst... I can't sing, that's why I always do these things half-naked)

Hope you're enjoying a deliciously dirty day! Mwah! XO

Topic Dudelicious Birthday!!! (Yesterday) CUM wish him Well, or Roast him
Posted 28 Oct 2011 09:30

occasion6 occasion7 occasion6

Happy Birthday Dude! Hope you have a deliciously kinky one!

Topic Young boy wants to join Girl Scouts
Posted 27 Oct 2011 09:27

If they're just a normal boy whose parents are putting them in girl scouts for the hell of it

That is a pretty scary thought! LOL

On the topic, I watched a documentary on transgendered kids recently that was pretty interesting. It turns out that children who are born intersexed are more common than we think and gender is often assigned at birth according to suggestions/decision made by parents and the doctor often based on the way the genitalia looks, rather than DNA/medical tests. Then the kids end up deeply psychologically confused later when they feel like they are in the wrong body.

I'd say if a child is truly transgendered and dressing/living as a girl the majority of the time, then parents and girl scouts should be supportive and, as Xuani pointed out, take this as an opportunity to teach tolerance to students. Tolerance is a much more valuable life lesson than anything they'll learn in Scouts.

These situations are pretty rare overall, so I don't see what the big deal is to make exceptions in special circumstances. Kids this age that are willing/wanting to identify as another gender are pretty brave souls to endure social backlash as it is. We all know how mean kids can be to other kids that don't 'conform', and that's to say nothing about the judgemental adults out there. I don't think this is the type of thing that would be abused by kids/families that aren't taking this absolutely seriously.

Topic footwear
Posted 27 Oct 2011 07:22

Honestly? Flip flops, Uggs, and free-run trainers.

But I stiletto-it-up when I'm out at night.

Topic Featured Members
Posted 27 Oct 2011 06:19

If you post stories, you will greatly increase how often you appear on the list. Most people who read an interesting story will want to check out the profile of the author.

If your story is recently posted, chances are high that you will have an accumulated number of views in a shorter period of time.

If you don't post stories and want to appear on this list more often, then try posting more in the forum or creating a photo album on your profile. When people see that you've posted new pics in their status feed, they are more likely to click on your profile to check them out.

Never forget... if you pimp your profile, they will come. 3601

Topic A huge SHOUT OUT to GAV for completing the server switch
Posted 27 Oct 2011 06:02

Thank you for all your tireless work on this Gav! It's lightning fast and smooth as silk. You've made this site an even greater pleasure to use... 3601

Topic Lush V2 Bug List
Posted 26 Oct 2011 19:43

After nearly 36 hours, Lush V2 is finally here.

If you find anything odd,

I guess it's just different, so I'll point it out...when I go to my page, all my comments are showing, back to 2009...I used to have to click on "Older Comments"...

Just thought I'd mention biggie...

Yeah, I was going to mention that for people with a massive quantity of wall-posts, it takes a loooong time to load a profile page in the current format. lol

Kudos to you though Gav, things are looking good!

I've limited this to the last 20 (I think), good enough?

Perfecto! Mwah! XO

Topic How do you pick which story on Lush to read?
Posted 26 Oct 2011 19:08

I typically read stories written by the authors I am following, my friends, and stories from the Editor's Pick selections to check out new talent. I know I'm missing a lot of talent along the way but with time limitations, I tend to default to the established authors whose writing style I already love.

As well, if I see someone making interesting and/or intelligent posts in the forum, I'll often be tempted into reading one of their stories.

Topic Lush V2 Bug List
Posted 26 Oct 2011 18:37

After nearly 36 hours, Lush V2 is finally here.

If you find anything odd,

I guess it's just different, so I'll point it out...when I go to my page, all my comments are showing, back to 2009...I used to have to click on "Older Comments"...

Just thought I'd mention biggie...

Yeah, I was going to mention that for people with a massive quantity of wall-posts, it takes a loooong time to load a profile page in the current format. lol

Kudos to you though Gav, things are looking good!

Topic I Phone
Posted 25 Oct 2011 10:35

I assume you're talking about a spin off of this 'study'...

I wouldn't put much stock into it. OkCupid isn't exactly the New England Journal of Medicine.

iPhone and Sex ] Dating site OkCupid has completed a study about its users’ smartphones and sexual history and has determined that among people who use smartphones, iPhone users have the most sexual partners, followed by BlackBerry users and finally Android users.

OkCupid looked at the data hidden in the images that users uploaded as profile pictures to see which cameras were used to take them — including smartphone cameras. With many of the site’s users also having taken personality tests like “The Dating Persona Test” or “The Slut Test,” which ask for a count of sexual partners, the site was able to cross-reference that data to complete the study.

In one approach, the survey sample was restricted to people aged 30. That way, differences in the usual ages of users of one smartphone type or another couldn’t affect the results. Among Android users aged 30, the average man had accumulated six sexual partners in his lifetime, while the average woman had accumulated 6.1. Among BlackBerry users, the number was 8.1 for men and 8.8 for women. Male iPhone users had 10 sexual partners and female iPhone users had 12.3

We’ve included OkCupid’s chart for that data below. We’ve also included another chart in which OkCupid mapped out and compared smartphone owners by age from 18 up through 40. While the sizes of the gaps varied, the iPhone, BlackBerry and Android rankings remained the same.

This data was tagged on as a bonus on a blog post about which cameras, camera settings and photography techniques resulted in the most attractive profile pictures. As you might have guessed, the higher the camera quality, the better the result in many cases.

The post is just the latest in a series of fascinating studies by OkCupid based on user data. In the past, the OkCupid blog debunked several of the biggest dating profile picture myths and found the ideal first message length for would-be lovers.

Topic Today in Pictures (post a picture representing your mood)
Posted 24 Oct 2011 12:54

Topic Erotic Stories Dos or Do Nots?
Posted 24 Oct 2011 12:07

When I want to have a male as my main character, I write the entire story in third person but tell the story from the male character's perspective.

I have started a story that is male-first person but I haven't completed it yet (definitely more of a challenge to get just right).

For me, it's definitely a bit more awkward writing as a man. Even for my male-perspective third-person stories, I have to get into the right frame of mind to take into account how a guy would react to and interpret certain situations. Sometimes I will do a bit of research and ask a guy first, especially if it involves certain sex acts that I can't experience myself because of my gender.

I think everyone has an "inner guy" or "inner girl" that they can channel when writing for the most part... as long as you've had enough life experience with social situations. You can also base the character on someone you know in real life (something I've often done for my male characters).

I don't think there is anything wrong with writing as the opposite gender as long as you can pull it off, and make the character more than a two-dimensional stereotype of their gender.

Topic Does body type really matter?
Posted 24 Oct 2011 08:27

If they're in my 'bed' and we're having sex, I assume they've already passed the test when it comes to a body type that I find attractive. In that respect, it does matter. If you're talking about little flaws that were not noticeable while they were clothed, then no, it's not that big of a deal. I think it also depends on how 'into them' you are. If you have a real connection, then you're way more likely to overlook physical imperfections, whereas if it's just casual dating or a random hook up, you might be more inclined to be critical or pass them over if the attraction level is mediocre.

On the topic, one of my friends back in university was always concerned about this because when she went out to pick up guys she would wear a padded push-up bra and some industrial-strength spanx body-shaper under her outfit that totally made her body look different than it did when her clothes came off. The illusion was like a firm-bodied, size 6, DD-cup when in reality she was more like a soft-bodied, size 10, B-cup. The guys didn't seem to mind that much but then again they were usually drunk when she went home with them anyway.

Topic What's the first memorable book cover you remember?
Posted 23 Oct 2011 13:36

Oh Doll, you have no idea! there was a cartoon! Freaky!

Hmm... I need to smoke up and watch that clip again... Regaeman Man

More proof that drugs helped create many a children's tale or fable.

Of course the cartoon makes it look all cutesy and whimsical...

These are the bunnies I remember from the book illustrations... confused1

For a while I was convinced that my pet rabbits turned into bloodthirsty zombies after I went to sleep.

Topic What's the first memorable book cover you remember?
Posted 23 Oct 2011 11:53

I can't find the exact book cover, but it looked something like this.

I got it as a little girl for Christmas one year because I had two bunny rabbits as pets and my grandma thought that I would love the book just because it had a rabbit on the cover. Uhmm... as it turned out, not so much.

It scared the living shit out of me and made me cry. The illustrations inside of bloody bunny rabbits attacking each other were totally traumatic to me. I remember it sitting on my book shelf and sort of terrorizing me every time I glanced at the cover. Even now it can produce a bit of anxiety when I see anything to do with this story.

But for that reason... technically it's the most 'memorable' book cover that I can remember. hiding

Topic Your man tells you he is gay
Posted 23 Oct 2011 11:17

I would be accepting in the same way that I would be accepting if the partner I was with chose to break-up with me for whatever reason. I think what it boils down to is mutual respect. When someone wants out of a relationship, they need to be able to dissolve the relationship in a respectful way.

There is a huge difference between a conflicted or bisexual guy finally being brave enough to 'come out' and live the life he really wants and telling his wife/girlfriend versus a gay guy that is purposely using a girl as a 'beard' for family and society and totally disrespecting her along the way.

I work with a women those husband's conservative background seemed to pressure him to pretend to be straight. So he married this girl and then basically just treated her like a child-incubator and roommate while he carried on with his long-term boyfriend on the sly. She had no idea until she caught them... 10 years later! I think it's unfair for a guy to fuck up someone else's life knowing that they have no real interest in being with them other than to sign the marriage certificate and procreate. Some women might be accepting of the situation (eg. maybe they are lesbian and unable to come out or women who just want to marry their best friend) but I think it should be arranged up front.

I know many gay men that have been married and genuinely tried to make it work but realized later in life that they would prefer to be with a guy. Personally I wouldn't have a problem with it as long as I felt like he was being respectful about the break-up and the situation. When it comes down to it, cheating is cheating. If he realized he was gay and we went through a prolonged period where he was withholding sex while fucking around with guys on the side, I'd be just as pissed as if it was with another girl.

Topic could you ever get in a relationship with someone who shared a parent's 1st name?
Posted 21 Oct 2011 06:25

It's not ideal but it wouldn't bother me that much. How many people really think of their parents as anything other than "mom" and "dad" anyway.

I would have a much bigger problem with someone that shared the same name as my 'evil' long-term ex-bf. That name is ruined forever as far as I'm concerned.

Topic Gav - congratulations on 10 years of marriage!!
Posted 20 Oct 2011 20:17

Happy anniversary!

May the love, romance and kinky times continue...