Forum posts made by dirtymartini

Topic ISBN Numbers...where to get them, and how much they cost...
Posted 25 Oct 2013 22:00

This little bit here may be of interest to anyone considering the self-pub thingy...check it out my writer-type friends...happy8

How to get an ISBN

In the US you can only buy ISBNs from,
a site run by Bowkers. You can buy 1, 10, 100 or 1000 ISBNs. At
the moment a single ISBN costs $125, and a pack of 10 costs $250.

In the UK you can only buy ISBNs in packs of 10, which currently
cost £126. You need to obtain them from NeilsenBook.

In Canada ISBNs are free! The process of getting an ISBN in Canada
is, however, quite convoluted, but this blog post explains it all:

In Australia, you purchase ISBNS from A single ISBN costs A$42, or
you can buy 10 for A$84.

For other countries around the world, I suggest you visit this
handy ISBN information page:

Please note that having an ISBN for your book does not copyright
it. The ISBN is simply a means of having your book identified in
databases and by libraries.

For more advice on self-publishing check out our archives here:

Topic Are you a Writer?
Posted 25 Oct 2013 17:31

I think of myself as a poet and storyteller. To be a writer would require greater understanding of the technical intricacies of the written word than I possess. I can look at a sentence and know whether it is correct, I can sometimes compose one as well, but I can rarely tell you why in a way that a person with an English degree would consider valid.

See...I would think that by your own definition you are a writer...editors are the people who know where commas go and stuff like that...I think people confuse writers and editors sometimes...

I can tell you with a fair degree of certainty that many popular authors out there don't necessarily have all that knowledge someone with an English degree might possess...they just happen to have good editors...

Topic Are Beards Sexy?
Posted 25 Oct 2013 12:51

i hate beards. that's just my prejuidices showing thru, tho.

You know...come to think of it, I'm not so sure I like people named "Sprite" anymore...just could be my prejudices showing through though...ahem...

Yeah, beards are totally everyone and anyone with any sense already knows...this picture was taken of me last month...I mean, what could be sexier?

Second thought...don't answer that...

Topic AUTHORSdB is an author database site for consolidating all your book listings, social media, etc...
Posted 25 Oct 2013 10:12

Got this e-mail earlier today...happy8

Semi-finalist - I Often Wonder by Alan W. Jankowski

8:54 AM (1 hour ago)

to me

Your cover is in the semi-finals of the 2013 Book Cover Contest at Over the next couple of days, we will be contacting authors who's book covers were entered into the 2013 Book Cover Contest and have qualified as a semi-finalist in one or more categories.

Please forward a large, clear image (minimum 800 pixels wide) and a blurb (300 minimum - 1000 word maximum) by replying to this email, pasting the blurb and attaching the image before October 31, 2013.

We know that this is an exciting time for authors, and we hope to ensure all authors are contacted prior to the promotion of your qualification into the semi-finals until all authors have been notified.

To maximize the full impact of the promotion, please take a moment and visit your author's page to ensure all covers are uploaded, and content is up-to-date. We will notify you prior to the semi-final voting start date.

Enjoy the extra exposure and best of luck,

Website Content Manager

Topic Announcing our "Put a Spin on it!" Story Competition, over $500 in LELO goodies to be won!
Posted 24 Oct 2013 19:59

Does anybody else think the badge that says "Comp Entry" on their story is amusing?

No...but then're the only one so far with one of them fancy badgers...

Just shared the contest link over on Facebook btw Nic...

Topic Are you a Writer?
Posted 24 Oct 2013 16:33

Anybody who writes stuff is a writer.

Yeah...I would tend to sort of agree with something along those lines of reasoning...and yeah, I've reluctantly admitted to being a writer...and I guess I have been since I started writing in 2009...

Btw, someone over on the blue site posted a musing last year, if I recall correctly, that raises the question of why we are still called 'writers' when really what we do nowadays is type...shouldn't we be called 'typers?'...

Just something else to ponder here on Lush...Regaeman Man

Topic which tablets are Lush friendly?
Posted 22 Oct 2013 12:20

I have a Samsung Galaxy tablet. In general it really SUCKS at everything. It's not Lush friendly & is basically a weak frustrating device. It's Wi-Fi ability is weak too.

Speaking of wi-fi ability...I got one of these earlier this great, totally extends the number of signals it picks up...they say it will pick up a wi-fi signal a mile away...not sure about that, but it picks up enough for me to always get a signal from somewhere...

C. Crane US3 Super USB Wifi Antenna 3

It was definitely worth the money...for me anyway...

As far as tablets go...I am not a tablet person...I write too much, so I need a real keyboard...I just got a new HP Pavilion 15 Toshiba netbook was giving me problems after three years, and I decided it was best just to get a new computer...the HP has everything I could possibly want, except a built in CD was $350.00 at Best Buy, in a kit which includes a wireless mouse, case, flash drive, and maybe something else I can't remember...

Looks like this btw...same screensaver and the whole nine at the moment...

Topic which tablets are Lush friendly?
Posted 22 Oct 2013 12:10

paracetamol and aspirin

Yeah...sounds like something I would say...these tablets look pretty Lush friendly to me...Regaeman Man

Topic Do you guys like to see butt crack?
Posted 20 Oct 2013 13:33

Yeah, thanks...I'll drink to that...Pour Wine Pour Wine Pour Wine

Topic Today in Pictures (post a picture representing your mood)
Posted 15 Oct 2013 18:05

Yeah...this is about right...

Topic How to make money from erotica
Posted 14 Oct 2013 17:02

It seems you need to be writing prolifically for 2-3 years, and develop a following, to get anywhere. !

Yeah...I've read quite a bit on the subject of books and promotion...tons of discussions on blogs, social media, pricing, author events, you name it...the one thing everyone agrees on is "keep writing"...

Other than that...nobody will agree totally on anything...

On another note Nic...just mentioned you over in the Lush Facebook group...thought you might like to be aware...the big discussion of the day...

Amazon, Barnes and Noble, KOBO: Drop the clause of removing Erotica and self-published Indie authors

Topic One of my poems was read tonight as part of a poetry festival in Northern Ireland...
Posted 07 Oct 2013 08:04

Ken is now my latest Facebook friend...he just posted this on my wall...thought it of interest...

Hi Alan,
I was asked by Flive Festival committee, Enniskillen, Northern Ireland, to read a poem at Enniskillen Fire Station during National Poetry Day (Great Britain). I am a poet betimes and I was a fire-fighter in Enniskillen for almost 30 years. I was asked to read a poem by a poet who had written poems that I thought would be relevant to the site. I found your poem which I thought was very suitable. It is a powerful tribute to fire-fighters and rescuers world-wide. I will have a copy of the recoding soon and maybe a photograph which I will send to you. In the meantime good luck with your poetry. pax Ken

Topic Poems in every category
Posted 07 Oct 2013 08:03

Lush did publish certain things at one time, but with growth and changing needs, other things were or were not allowed, and are constantly under review, even now.

At the time my incest poem posted on the site in 2009, it was a non-issue...I don't think that whole incest in the forum ban was around yet...but, quite a few things have changed here on Lush in the four years I've been here...and mostly all for the better btw...

Topic Poems in every category
Posted 06 Oct 2013 23:09

It is very funny (incest aside) but as far as I was aware, incest wasn't allowed in the poetry category, nor in the forums (sorry, DM, I love you loads). Has this changed now?

What do you mean incest isn't allowed in the poetry category? Why, some of the most classic poems in that category are all about incest, and just like the stories on this here fine site, they get more views than everything else combined...

Why, I'll have you know that the most viewed poem on this fine site known throughout the world as Lush Stories is called "Incest Is Best", I'll make it easy for you to find...

Incest Is Best

And thanks for the kind words there Royal Rachel, though I know you just like that poem I posted here because it mentions ginger...maybe I will submit it...if you give it a Recommended Read...

Topic Commonly Confused Words
Posted 06 Oct 2013 22:58

Alright...this should end a lot of confusion about when to use the various forms of this here word...

Topic Top Ten Book Recommendation Platforms...
Posted 06 Oct 2013 22:55

I'm sticking this here because it seems sort of appropriate...

The Laws of the (Amazon) Jungle—Eight Rules Authors Need to Know to Stay Safe

Topic Please support Liz in her marathon this weekend, for Cancer Research
Posted 06 Oct 2013 18:22

Yeah, congrats on beating your PB...not sure what that means, but it sounds good...Regaeman Man

Btw, if you ever see me running 26 miles, assume that something is about to explode in the area...and you should probably start running as well...just sayin'

Topic Kanye West announces that he is the biggest rock star on the planet?
Posted 06 Oct 2013 14:57

People say and do things all the time to get attention, and there's an old adage about there being no such thing as bad publicity...and now here we are, talking about him in a forum thread, as are millions of others on the, he got exactly what he wanted...

Topic Daily Message Limit
Posted 05 Oct 2013 10:33

We have spam traps in place now, so the limit will shortly be removed.

Oh cool...I'd be curious how those traps work though...I hope they're not too cruel, and don't actually hurt the spam which I assume would be later released back into the woods...

Topic Bid or Bade?
Posted 05 Oct 2013 10:29

Personally I don't know anyone who would say bade.

Also, do you pronounce bade like blade or like bad?

Danielle xxx

Let's just say that I am fairly certain that I have never once used the word "bade" in my entire life...I have heard it though, and it rhymes with "blade"...

Topic Time to throw out Congress?
Posted 05 Oct 2013 10:23

Just in case anyone here needs an explanation of what this whole government shutdown thingy actually means...this should explain it...

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 05 Oct 2013 09:49

Good Afternoon Lush-type people...what's happening over here? Business looks a bit slow...I see more than the usual amount of cobwebs on Coma and Tose, must be the maid's year off...

Ah yeah, been busy as of's bad when you get too busy you forget to drink, probably just old age setting in...I was going to stop in yesterday for National Vodka Day, and order a martini...I figured you probably had something that might resemble vodka available, but wasn't too sure about vermouth, olives, or a clean, I figured I'd pass on that one...

Let me get a tall bucket of that house draft Old Possum long as it has alcohol in it, it should work for me...maybe I should get a mug of Beaver Breath on the side as a chaser just to make sure...

I'm sure you got the tap working now, and once again got a handle on things there Reverend...


Topic One of my poems was read tonight as part of a poetry festival in Northern Ireland...
Posted 04 Oct 2013 20:34

And did he read "Incest is Best" as an encore? An opportunity missed, in my opinion lol.

Funny, I'll have to ask him...yeah, when I did my reading at the Dowdell Library last month, I thought about going into "Master At Your Craft" a couple of time when I sort of got nervous...I could only imagine if I started reading those opening lines, that's this one, if you've missed this classic...

Master At Your Craft

Anyway...I found out who Ken Ramsay is...he's apparently a local poet and writer from Enniskillen, well-known in the area...and I know this because Diane Jardel, who is also a member of the blue site, lives in Enniskillen...this is she btw...

Stories Space - Courage2bfree

She sent Ken a note, she knows him...we're all curious now how this came about...I'll stop back when I find out myself...

She didn't see him read my poem, she was at another event that was part of the festival...the Bram Stoker's Dracula talk...she wasn't aware my poem was being read apparently, in fact she had to sort of read it twice on the page before it sort of sank mean, like what are the odds somebody you know from Stories Space is going to have one of their poems read at a festival near you?

Yeah, this whole thing is sort of bizarre to me still, starting out writing sex stories four years ago and now having my stuff read at festivals half way around the world and stuff...then again, you can get on the New York Times bestseller list these days writing, I guess anything's possible...

Topic R.I.P. Tom Clancy
Posted 04 Oct 2013 20:05

FYI, I hear that there's one more novel in the pipe, due for publication in December, so we haven't heard the last from Tom Clancy yet.

Yeah, I read that too...someone on FB posted this obit from the Baltimore Sun...good article, I didn't know much about him...

Baltimore Sun - Tom Clancy,0,2435189.story

He was a rather wealthy and successful author...heck, if you can afford $350,000.00 per year in property taxes alone, you must be doing something right...reminds me, I really should get back to writing more...

Btw, don't recall reading any of his books...liked the "Hunt For Red October" movie though...

Topic Bono exposed as a complete fraud - harsh analysis?
Posted 04 Oct 2013 09:11

if it makes people sit up and think about the situations, then it can't be all bad.

I'll agree with that, celebrities have the ability to get people's attention far more than the average person...would you want somebody who spent most of their life singing in a band having the final say on matters of world affairs? Most likely not...but, as you say, if it brings attention to a problem that normally would not get much notice, it is a good thing...

Topic One of my poems was read tonight as part of a poetry festival in Northern Ireland...
Posted 03 Oct 2013 19:08

Cool beans...Ken Ramsay read my 9/11 poem tonight at The 2013 Fermanagh Festival which takes place for four days in the island town of Enniskillen in Northern's the link which lists the days can see toward the bottom where it says 8pm Enniskillen Fire Station ...

The Fermanagh Festival - (FREE) Poetry at FLive2013

Here's their Facebook page btw...there will possibly be pictures or videos later...there is for stuff that took place earlier in the day...

Fermanagh Live's the whole program for the four day event...there are a bunch of workshops and stuff in addition to the readings...very artsy btw...

The 2013 Fermanagh Festival

Topic One of my worst nightmares come 9/11 poem being used for commercial purposes...
Posted 02 Oct 2013 14:15

Conversely, my biggest literary dream is to have a poem of mine used to illustrate toenail fungus.

Yeah, that toenail fungus ad sticking out right there is so very special...dontknow

Anyway...this whole thing actually has a happy ending...the whole thing is annoying, I shouldn't really have to deal with crap like this, but it all came to a satisfactory resolution...

Here is what I wrote back to Ghezae...

Alan Jankowski
Oct 1 (1 day ago)

to Ghezae
Hey Ghezae...I had thought that this issue was resolved when the poem was removed from Awate. but it seems there's the matter of the 3000 calenders that have been printed...I'm not quite certain how to address that issue at the the meantime, I've taken screen shots of everything and posted them...

I haven't really consulted with my attorney...I'd really prefer to have to avoid that route, and come up with an amicable solution, as I believe you would as would seem to me, that there can only be two ways at this point to proceed...either all the printed calenders are destroyed, or some sort of sticker, or additional printing be added with an explanation, along with some financial compensation...

I'm trying to find out from some others who may have been in similar situations...I will get back to you though, and I think you can see that those would be the only reasonable solutions...

I do believe that Bereket is the guilty party, and it's perfectly reasonable that neither you or Awate were aware of his wrongdoing...still, a wrongdoing has been done, and a reasonable solution must be found...

Alan W. Jankowski

And this is what he wrote me back yesterday...I can live with I said, I shouldn't really have to go through this crap though, and the reason I took all these screen shots and created these forum posts is to cover my bases...essentially, I prepared for the worst...

Ghezae Hagos
11:25 AM (19 hours ago)

to sal, salgadi, Getu, semere42, me, Bereket
Dear Alan,

Thank you for your understanding. It means a lot to us.

We had decided to remove the poem entirely and put photos of prisoners instead. That will effectively solve the problem. It is very good timing as the calendars were yet to be distributed.

Please allow me to give you a bit background about this project. We are members of an advocacy group called Eritrean Youth Solidarity for Change- North America. We have chapters in many US and Canadian cities. Our members are volunteers. Our objective is to raise awareness about the gross human rights violations that exist in Eritrea. Eritrea currently has one of the most repressive regimes in the world today.

The calendars were part of the campaign to increase awareness of the human rights violations and to honor the prisoners of conscience. We have covered the expenses out of our pockets and there is no financial remuneration or benefits associated with the calendars. Neither Bereket Yohannes nor the project managers will get any financial benefits. If any, we will definitely incur costs, but we expect that. The reason I am mentioning this because we want to you to have a clear idea of what we are doing.

Dear Alan, we thank you for your understanding and support. We are glad we nip this incident in the bud. We apologize for any mental anguish, unnecessary distractions we may have caused you.

We wish you greater success in your artistic and personal endeavours.

All the best,
Ghezae Hagos for Eritrean Youth Solidarity for Change- North America

Topic Commonly Confused Words
Posted 30 Sep 2013 22:58

Here you go...just get the right coffee mug to avoid confusion...

Topic One of my worst nightmares come 9/11 poem being used for commercial purposes...
Posted 30 Sep 2013 21:33

And the saga continues...someone in Canada just sent me these links btw...

Canada taking steps to expel Eritrean diplomat, Baird says – Incl Bereket Yohannes’s intv with CTV News

And a picture of the plagiarizer himself...

Refugee hopes to raise awareness of Eritrean plight

Topic One of my worst nightmares come 9/11 poem being used for commercial purposes...
Posted 30 Sep 2013 18:47

People who are not writers often wonder why I tend to be rather vigilante about people using my 9/11 poem without giving proper credit...I always make it a point to tell people the correct thing to do is give proper credit, so the world doesn't think it's some anonymous poem...not that poems, or stories ever write themselves...though the general public sometimes appears to think they do...the reason I get annoyed when people post it without crediting me, and it happens way too a recent Facebook post with over 900 shares, is certainly not that I wish to deny its use to the world...hardly...but rather people thinking it is somehow in the public domain leads to situations like what I'm facing at the moment...and I realize I may be preaching to the choir here...

Anyway, yesterday I became aware of someone taking my poem, rearranging it, adding a few lines...and posting it on a site claiming they wrote it...I informed the site owners, and they were very responsive...a good thing...

Saleh Gadi
10:23 PM (16 hours ago)

to me
Sear Mr. Jankowski,

We really apologize for the error, and we thank you for bringing thie
to our attention. We take such unethical violations very seriously and
we would remove the moment we discover the violation even if you
didn't ask.

We have removed the the entire content that included the plagiarized
poem. And we have banned the person who did that from ever posting
anything at .

We have been put in such precarious situation and we apologize for that.

Thank you

Saleh Johar
Miriam Was Here ... so were the human traffickers

All this would be fine...except when I checked the link where it was the comments, as they are still there...

Calendar Featuring Eritrean’s Political Prisoners read that right...there are 3000 calenders printed up with the poem credited to Bereket Yohannes...not a good thing...I got this note earlier, apparently they want to talk...

On your 9-11 poem

Ghezae Hagos
9:38 AM (7 hours ago)

to me, Bereket, Bereket

Dear Mr. Jankowski,

My name is Ghezae Hagos and I can be contacted at 204-293-xxxx.

I am writing this message in respect to your 9-11 tribute poem that my friend Mr. Bereket Yohannes has used in remembrance of Eritrean victims, posted in . We really apologize for this and we would like to contact you about it.

You can send us your phone contact address, or you can call me at the aforementioned number.

All the best,
Ghezae Hagos

I don't believe the publishers were aware of any wrongdoing...Bereket was solely at fault, I believe...the question is how should I proceed from here? I need to take the high road, obviously...should I insist all the calenders be destroyed? Or, should I let them be sold with a sticker explaining the situation, and financial comp...

I just became aware of all this earlier tonight...haven't talked to an attorney or anything...just thinking about this is enough to drive a guy to drink, not that it takes much btw...this is really the type of mess I would rather avoid at all costs...

And here's screen shots of everything...had the foresight to take screen shots of the original post shows here in three parts...

And the screen shots of the comments...which are still visible at that link btw...for now, anyway...