Forum posts made by dirtymartini

Topic ... in my pants
Posted 30 Mar 2010 15:11

Dancing Queen (Abba)...in my pants...

This is fun...lol...

Topic ... in my pants
Posted 30 Mar 2010 15:11

Lay Lady Lay, (Dylan)...in my pants

Topic ... in my pants
Posted 30 Mar 2010 14:12

Can't Get Enough Of Your Love...in my pants.

Topic ... in my pants
Posted 30 Mar 2010 14:08

The Line Forms Here...in my pants.

Actually not sure if that is a song...if it's not, I'll write one...

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 30 Mar 2010 14:06

I'm glad this work day is over... balvenie on the rocks please and get yourself and the bar a round too.

Cheersoccasion5

Algol

Did someone say my favorite words "get the bar a round???"...thought I heard music to my ears...
Let's see...big decisions...
Hmmm...Mr. 4skin, how about a double bourbon with a bourbon chaser...and since Al is buying, give me a shot with that...let's see, how about a shot of bourbon...ah yes, great way to start off an evening...
Cheers,
Alan.
occasion5

Topic Forum Game: Twin Word Link
Posted 30 Mar 2010 11:38

count Dracula

Topic ... in my pants
Posted 30 Mar 2010 11:37

Whole Lotta Shakin' Going On...in my pants.

Topic ... in my pants
Posted 30 Mar 2010 09:16

Let The Good Times Roll...in my pants

Topic How Long To Write A Story?
Posted 30 Mar 2010 09:12

I hear all that Alan but get a damn proofreader before you submit it. I bet you would get more readers and less attitude if you took that one simple step. As for me I got two people proofing after a moderator was nice enough to tell me to fix my mistakes before they rejected it. That goodwill dont last forever though baby, so now I have others help me on the back end too. Okay I said enough here but that just pissed me off when I read it. Sorry everyone.

Never had anything rejected for form, grammer or spelling...only for content...

Topic ... in my pants
Posted 30 Mar 2010 09:09

Girls Just Want To Have Fun...in my pants...

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 30 Mar 2010 09:07

Hey Scoot...nice new av pic...you're moving up in the world, I see...

Topic ... in my pants
Posted 30 Mar 2010 09:06

Let's Get It On...in my pants

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 30 Mar 2010 07:34

Hey, um...Good Morning Lushers and Lushettes...
Ah, hey Scooter...do you have a couple of bucks I can borrow...just till I get back on my feet...
Hey Mr. Rumpskin...ah, I know I told you the other day I'd pay down my tab...
(Rumages through empty pockets)
But, ah Glue Factory was not all he was cracked up to be...I know, hard to believe. I got that tip from a handicapper at the track, he didn't tell me the horse was handicapped...I should have known something was wrong when they had to drag him out to the starting gate...
Let's just say it went downhill from there...
(Rumages through empty pockets, pulls out ball of lint)
Hey, um...I got another tip on a horse though, I'll post the pic a bit later...I just need a quick drink...
Ah, um, double bourbon with a bourbon chaser...just, um, put it on my tab for now...
Cheers,
Alan.
occasion5

Topic How Long To Write A Story?
Posted 30 Mar 2010 05:51

Hey Xuani...I am not saying I necessarily get it "perfect" the first time...I don't know that there is a "perfect" story...actually there is one, but it's not mine...
The thing is, I know myself well enough to know that if I start "editing" after I write that can be an endless thing...I will try to make it "perfect" and the story will never get posted...
The best thing that works for me is to write it up and put it out there, otherwise it may never go...
The errors tend to get pointed out by others, and I really do appreciate that...I've already established that I am not good at proof reading my own work...my mind sort of passes over the errors no matter how often I read my stuff...besides, if I kept my stories around a month or so before posting I would have an unmanageble backlog...I tend to get a fair amount of ideas I want to write up...
That explains why the first 40 or so stories I posted on Lush never had to be sent back for editing...the errors were all already picked out by readers over a period of months in some cases...
And yes Nicola...I am very concious of the job the mods have...I certainly wouldn't want to do it...
Cheers,
Alan.
occasion5

Topic Where on Earth are you from? (Location, not heritage)
Posted 29 Mar 2010 15:28

nicola... i fuked it up... wheres australia, i did it.... but cant edit... help

I can't edit polls unfortunately!

There's normally an option for Asia Pacific, we generally get lumped in there.

Other is fine icon_smile

I think it would be cool to have everyone's approximate (state level?) global location on an interactive map, like google maps, but with plotted positions, like those dating adverts:

http://www.lushstories.com/forum/upload/images/100-maps.jpg

Gav, have you got a spare 5 minutes? evil4

Nicola...I think that is a great idea...and maybe include some kind of search feature...say, for instance...hot-looking single women within a 20 mile radius...
Where is Gav???
Cheers,
Alan.
occasion5

Topic How Long To Write A Story?
Posted 29 Mar 2010 13:50

I don't write "rough drafts" and then go back through them. I sit there and get it right the first time.

Anyone thinking they do it right the first time should read it again just because of their overconfidence.

I hate to pick you out of the crowd Exakta, but you sit amongst a crowd of authors who do check their writing and tell them you do it better because you "get it right the first time"; insinuating that the others do not do it correctly.

I've only read one of your stories (The Woman in the Blue Chair), but you misused the word "passed" instead of "past" since it is the past participle of the verb “to pass” when someone walked by something, "walked" putting it in the past.

Another misused word is "caste" which is a societal term and not to cast light on something.

**"Oh fuck." I thought to myself.** Oh Fuck should not be in quotations, it is a thought and not spoken words.

And a few commas were needed where there were none, and a few semi-colons in place of a few commas or periods would work better as well.

This is from one story of no proof reading. If you read the story after finishing, you will notice things that spell-checker's do not.

Sorry, no one is perfect.

Hey FF...never implying that I was pefect or that one way is really better than another, just the way I do it...but, thanks for pointing out things that needed to be corrected...I mentioned in another forum post recently on editing, that I have a hard time correcting my own errors because my mind seems to automatically correct them as I read my own stuff, no matter how many times I try...
Actually, shouldn't 'Oh fuck' be in single quotes? I did notice that one later...
Alan.

Topic How Long To Write A Story?
Posted 29 Mar 2010 12:37

Most of my stories are long, my last being almost 12 thousand words. I'll usually spend 3 to 5 weeks on each story from typing the first word to time of submission. Fortunalty for me, I love to write and don't mind long hours at the keyboard.
My poems though are a completly differant story. Both of the poems I submitted were written in about an hour.

I was thinking that. If it's a short story that's one thing. If it's a novel that's a whole other "story". LOL

Have you done a novel? And how long did that take???
That's what I'm attempting to do now...right now it is nine pages of notes and two opening sentences...seems novel writing is a whole different animal...
And I agree with others here that poems are usually fairly quick...though it took me three days to do "I'd Do It For You"...longer than any story...
Later,
Alan.
occasion5

Topic Where on Earth are you from? (Location, not heritage)
Posted 28 Mar 2010 14:56

U.S.A...New Jersey, but don't tell anyone...

Topic How Long To Write A Story?
Posted 28 Mar 2010 14:47

Hey Roc...funny you asked this, because I just did an interview for another site last week and they asked the same thing and I was discussing it with another author earlier...
Here is what I wrote for the interview...

> Q. How long does it take for you to write a story? Could
> you talk us through the process?
I usually work the story out in my head before I start...otherwise, I would sit in front of the computer and stare at a blank screen. Still, it takes me about an hour per page in Word to write a story. That includes coffee and cigarette breaks, though. I think my process is different from most writers. I don't write "rough drafts" and then go back through them. I sit there and get it right the first time. In fact, once I type the last word and put the date, I post the story on another site. I don't even read the story until after it posts, and then only to correct any errors I might have missed...the site I post on first allows a 24 hour edit period.

That's the story behind my stories...so, in other words...the longer ones tend to be an all night process...
Later,
Alan.
occasion5

Topic Word association game
Posted 28 Mar 2010 07:38

Australia.

Ooops...

Topic Incest Authors
Posted 28 Mar 2010 07:34

Hey FD...I think at least part of the reason is that not a lot of story sites allow incest stories...I post my stuff on eleven sites and I can only think of four that actually allow incest stories...
Of those four, one is relatively new and doesn't get a lot of visits,
So, incest fans don't have a lot of places to go...
Different sites have different rules which affect the viewership...the fact that Lush allows incest stories and also has a relatively lax 16 years old and over policy can make for a popular combination...
Later,
Alan.
occasion5

Topic Word association game
Posted 28 Mar 2010 07:22

sheep

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 28 Mar 2010 06:51

Oh and Scooter...would you believe Lush rejected poor Brian Damage's poem???
The nerve of some people...I was going to post it here for him as a favor...
I'm a nice guy that way.
Later,
Alan.
occasion5

Yes, I'm sure the majority of our readers wish to read a poem about an old guy lusting after a "little schoolgirl". Is that the one you mean?

You were going to post it here as a "favour" to him? Your disrespect for this site is unashamed.

The piano can start playing again now...sorry Rumple.

Yeah, um that was the one...jeez, the landlord had to walk in when I was telling my story...
Actually I post my stuff under three name on that "other" site I started on...the romantic stuff gets posted under 67Goat, the more deviant stuff, like my incest story where Brian has sex with his sister in the church during his cousin's wedding get posted under BrianDamage and the more fun stuff like my latest poem still get posted under Exakta66...
Scooter knew what I was talking about...
Actually Brian and Gary do better than me over there ratings wise...they must be better writers...
Btw, there was no sex in it Nicola, the old guy was just taking a look.
Hang out, I'll buy you a drink...Hey Mr. Rumpskin, get Nicola a drink...put it on my um, ah, my tab...
Btw, Mr Rumster...I know you are starting to think I'm never going to pay off my tab...that I am just some sort of freeloading bum who is always looking for a free drink, but I want you to know that is far from the case. Yes sir...I have a sure fire plan to pay off my tab by tonight...you'll be impressed here...
You see, a friend of a friend has a cousin who's dog groomer has an ex who used to work down at the track. So, I got a sure tip on a horse that is guaranteed to win today...Yes Sir, Mr. Rump...this is a sure thing if I've ever heard one...
So, I pulled out the cushions of the sofa and managed to come up with $2.46 in assorted change and a half-eaten ham sandwhich...
Anyway, I intend to go to the track later and plop down the entire $2.41 on Glue Factory in the sixth...
Like I said, this is a sure thing...since the odds are a million to one, I should have a nice down payment on my tab for you tonight...
I know this is a sure thing because he even sent me a picture of the horse...

http://www.lushstories.com/forum/upload/images/695-thumbnail.jpg
So, in case you think I'm not serious about paying you back...ha...you'll see...
In the meantime, can I get a double bourbon with a bourbon chaser...just, um, put it on my tab...
Later,
Alan.
occasion5

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 27 Mar 2010 20:40

Yeah Rump, where did you steal the wine from?
Going back to yesterday, I believe it was...this is who I was trying to think of as far as great bluesmen from Texas go...there is a Stevie Ray video with Johnny on it as well, and vids on YouTube, but most are fairly long...and I was lucky enough to see Johnny as well, his album "Showdown" with Albert Collins and Robert Cray is one of my all time favorite albums...and if you have never heard it...you should do something about that...
http://www.youtube.com/v/1J_Dc_lj4d8&hl=en_US&fs=1&

Topic What is the voting criteria? What should it be?
Posted 27 Mar 2010 20:30

Hey Lurker...I agree it should be solely on the quality of the story, regardless of what you think about the authors particular fantasy, unless it is poorly expressed...
I have to say, like most people, I don't like to give low votes...most of the scores I've given on this site are 5's. but I also tend to only read authors I like...I don't do a lot of reading unless I am looking for ideas for my own stories, and I have not been short of ideas in a while...
I have come across a couple of stories here I felt deserved a 2 because of a real lack of effort on the part of the writer...and I have given out a few 1's...not on Lush, and only if I feel the story was either plajorized (yes, I've seen it, but not here) or really shows a total lack of effort...some sites allow "stories" which are as little as a single sentence...
But, I think you answered your own question...it should be based on quality...subjective, yes...but like that old standard for pornography...you know it when you see it...
Later,
Alan.
occasion5

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 27 Mar 2010 11:49

Oh and Scooter...would you believe Lush rejected poor Brian Damage's poem???
The nerve of some people...I was going to post it here for him as a favor...
I'm a nice guy that way.
Later,
Alan.
occasion5

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 27 Mar 2010 11:47

Hey Rumpster...speaking of that "new" jukebox...don't know where you found that, but it ate a bunch of my quarters again...I think I put about ten bucks in, but if you, um, reimburse me out of the register all will surely be forgotten...
Oh great, Scooters here...hey Scootie, can you buy me a drink until later? Things have been a bit tight lately...I'm waiting on a check, told they put it in the mail...
Ok, I know I told Mr. Rumpskin that a couple of months ago, but it's true this time...they assured me...
In the meantime, I'll take a double bourbon with a bourbon chaser...whatever is top shelf this afternoon...
Have to go now.
Later,
Alan.
occasion5

Topic Word association game
Posted 27 Mar 2010 11:31

then

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 26 Mar 2010 14:22

Rip Van Winkle is the designated bourbon of that great Lusher, Alan.

While I've been known to swill down practically anything, my drink of choice is Crown Royal and soda, which I'll now enjoy in lieu of RVW, if you don't mind. :)

Rumple Foreskin rr

Btw, Mr. Rumpskin...if you check out my profile page you can see videos of not only the one I posted here, but also Stevie Ray with the late, great Albert King, Howlin' Wolf...that's Mr. Wolf to you and other fine, tasteful choices...
I also have some nice audio selections...that is if Mr. Algol hasn't stolen them all...watch him, he's known for that...
And yes, RVW is considered top shelf in this fine establishment...I can't recall what the Michelin Guide has to see about Rumplebations, but it is no doubt very flattering...
Those kind words aught to be good for one on the house, eh Mr. 4skin??? If not...just, um, ah...put it on my tab...
Cheers,
Alan.
occasion5

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 26 Mar 2010 10:52

Buddy's still alive, ain't he??? I saw him and Junior back in the eighties...
http://www.youtube.com/v/5XUAg1_A7IE&hl=en_US&fs=1&