Forum posts made by dirtymartini

Topic Word association game
Posted 28 Mar 2010 07:38

Australia.

Ooops...

Topic Incest Authors
Posted 28 Mar 2010 07:34

Hey FD...I think at least part of the reason is that not a lot of story sites allow incest stories...I post my stuff on eleven sites and I can only think of four that actually allow incest stories...
Of those four, one is relatively new and doesn't get a lot of visits,
So, incest fans don't have a lot of places to go...
Different sites have different rules which affect the viewership...the fact that Lush allows incest stories and also has a relatively lax 16 years old and over policy can make for a popular combination...
Later,
Alan.
occasion5

Topic Word association game
Posted 28 Mar 2010 07:22

sheep

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Barhttps://www.lushstories.com/stories/voyeur/how-humans-do-it-a-f
Posted 28 Mar 2010 06:51

Oh and Scooter...would you believe Lush rejected poor Brian Damage's poem???
The nerve of some people...I was going to post it here for him as a favor...
I'm a nice guy that way.
Later,
Alan.
occasion5

Yes, I'm sure the majority of our readers wish to read a poem about an old guy lusting after a "little schoolgirl". Is that the one you mean?

You were going to post it here as a "favour" to him? Your disrespect for this site is unashamed.

The piano can start playing again now...sorry Rumple.

Yeah, um that was the one...jeez, the landlord had to walk in when I was telling my story...
Actually I post my stuff under three name on that "other" site I started on...the romantic stuff gets posted under 67Goat, the more deviant stuff, like my incest story where Brian has sex with his sister in the church during his cousin's wedding get posted under BrianDamage and the more fun stuff like my latest poem still get posted under Exakta66...
Scooter knew what I was talking about...
Actually Brian and Gary do better than me over there ratings wise...they must be better writers...
Btw, there was no sex in it Nicola, the old guy was just taking a look.
Hang out, I'll buy you a drink...Hey Mr. Rumpskin, get Nicola a drink...put it on my um, ah, my tab...
Btw, Mr Rumster...I know you are starting to think I'm never going to pay off my tab...that I am just some sort of freeloading bum who is always looking for a free drink, but I want you to know that is far from the case. Yes sir...I have a sure fire plan to pay off my tab by tonight...you'll be impressed here...
You see, a friend of a friend has a cousin who's dog groomer has an ex who used to work down at the track. So, I got a sure tip on a horse that is guaranteed to win today...Yes Sir, Mr. Rump...this is a sure thing if I've ever heard one...
So, I pulled out the cushions of the sofa and managed to come up with $2.46 in assorted change and a half-eaten ham sandwhich...
Anyway, I intend to go to the track later and plop down the entire $2.41 on Glue Factory in the sixth...
Like I said, this is a sure thing...since the odds are a million to one, I should have a nice down payment on my tab for you tonight...
I know this is a sure thing because he even sent me a picture of the horse...

http://www.lushstories.com/forum/upload/images/695-thumbnail.jpg
So, in case you think I'm not serious about paying you back...ha...you'll see...
In the meantime, can I get a double bourbon with a bourbon chaser...just, um, put it on my tab...
Later,
Alan.
occasion5

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Barhttps://www.lushstories.com/stories/voyeur/how-humans-do-it-a-f
Posted 27 Mar 2010 20:40

Yeah Rump, where did you steal the wine from?
Going back to yesterday, I believe it was...this is who I was trying to think of as far as great bluesmen from Texas go...there is a Stevie Ray video with Johnny on it as well, and vids on YouTube, but most are fairly long...and I was lucky enough to see Johnny as well, his album "Showdown" with Albert Collins and Robert Cray is one of my all time favorite albums...and if you have never heard it...you should do something about that...
http://www.youtube.com/v/1J_Dc_lj4d8&hl=en_US&fs=1&

Topic What is the voting criteria? What should it be?
Posted 27 Mar 2010 20:30

Hey Lurker...I agree it should be solely on the quality of the story, regardless of what you think about the authors particular fantasy, unless it is poorly expressed...
I have to say, like most people, I don't like to give low votes...most of the scores I've given on this site are 5's. but I also tend to only read authors I like...I don't do a lot of reading unless I am looking for ideas for my own stories, and I have not been short of ideas in a while...
I have come across a couple of stories here I felt deserved a 2 because of a real lack of effort on the part of the writer...and I have given out a few 1's...not on Lush, and only if I feel the story was either plajorized (yes, I've seen it, but not here) or really shows a total lack of effort...some sites allow "stories" which are as little as a single sentence...
But, I think you answered your own question...it should be based on quality...subjective, yes...but like that old standard for pornography...you know it when you see it...
Later,
Alan.
occasion5

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Barhttps://www.lushstories.com/stories/voyeur/how-humans-do-it-a-f
Posted 27 Mar 2010 11:49

Oh and Scooter...would you believe Lush rejected poor Brian Damage's poem???
The nerve of some people...I was going to post it here for him as a favor...
I'm a nice guy that way.
Later,
Alan.
occasion5

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Barhttps://www.lushstories.com/stories/voyeur/how-humans-do-it-a-f
Posted 27 Mar 2010 11:47

Hey Rumpster...speaking of that "new" jukebox...don't know where you found that, but it ate a bunch of my quarters again...I think I put about ten bucks in, but if you, um, reimburse me out of the register all will surely be forgotten...
Oh great, Scooters here...hey Scootie, can you buy me a drink until later? Things have been a bit tight lately...I'm waiting on a check, told they put it in the mail...
Ok, I know I told Mr. Rumpskin that a couple of months ago, but it's true this time...they assured me...
In the meantime, I'll take a double bourbon with a bourbon chaser...whatever is top shelf this afternoon...
Have to go now.
Later,
Alan.
occasion5

Topic Word association game
Posted 27 Mar 2010 11:31

then

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Barhttps://www.lushstories.com/stories/voyeur/how-humans-do-it-a-f
Posted 26 Mar 2010 14:22

Rip Van Winkle is the designated bourbon of that great Lusher, Alan.

While I've been known to swill down practically anything, my drink of choice is Crown Royal and soda, which I'll now enjoy in lieu of RVW, if you don't mind. :)

Rumple Foreskin rr

Btw, Mr. Rumpskin...if you check out my profile page you can see videos of not only the one I posted here, but also Stevie Ray with the late, great Albert King, Howlin' Wolf...that's Mr. Wolf to you and other fine, tasteful choices...
I also have some nice audio selections...that is if Mr. Algol hasn't stolen them all...watch him, he's known for that...
And yes, RVW is considered top shelf in this fine establishment...I can't recall what the Michelin Guide has to see about Rumplebations, but it is no doubt very flattering...
Those kind words aught to be good for one on the house, eh Mr. 4skin??? If not...just, um, ah...put it on my tab...
Cheers,
Alan.
occasion5

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Barhttps://www.lushstories.com/stories/voyeur/how-humans-do-it-a-f
Posted 26 Mar 2010 10:52

Buddy's still alive, ain't he??? I saw him and Junior back in the eighties...
http://www.youtube.com/v/5XUAg1_A7IE&hl=en_US&fs=1&

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Barhttps://www.lushstories.com/stories/voyeur/how-humans-do-it-a-f
Posted 26 Mar 2010 07:01

Good Morning Fine People of Lush...wow, I get a recommendation here from Mr. Rumpskin himself...usually anytime he mentions my name it's followed by a string of profanities...
I wrote that poem on a piece of scrap paper while watching wrestling last night with a friend of mine...
And thanks Gypsy for reading it and approving it...get her a drink Mr. Rumpster, she deserves one being a mod and having to read everyone's stuff...I don't even like to read my stuff, hate to see anyone else have to...
Let's see, what should I have today? How about a double bourbon with a bourbon chaser...I am attempting to write a novel...I don't know why anyone put these ideas in my head, if anything it will be an interesting writing experience...that's why I posted that I would probably not be posting much on here for a while...but, poems don't count, they just sort of happen...
Oh yeah, just put that drink on my, um, ah...put it on my tab...
See ya later,
Alan.
occasion5

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Barhttps://www.lushstories.com/stories/voyeur/how-humans-do-it-a-f
Posted 25 Mar 2010 14:51

No, that's even worse...Shameless would try to install a mechanical bull in it and Scooter would try to sell the whole thing for scrap...
But...I can see your point...
So, I take it Mr. Rumple, the next time Shameless, Scooter and myself go out somewhere...you are not going to come along???
If we had any feelings, they might be hurt...sad7
But, I wouldn't worry about that too much.
Later,
Alan.
occasion5

Topic Lush Awards
Posted 25 Mar 2010 13:11

I like it! Everyone likes a little extra bling on their profile!

I think there should be a special badge just for you, for having a negative post score. laughing8 Sorry, not having a go at you, it's just I have never seen that before! icon_smile Maybe a badge that says "Most negative poster" laughing6


I agree...how do you get a negative score??? Do you remove posts??? I'm impressed....
And I agree about the awards...we don't want drama on a sex story/chat site...
Later,
Alan.
occasion5

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Barhttps://www.lushstories.com/stories/voyeur/how-humans-do-it-a-f
Posted 25 Mar 2010 13:07

Some how ,, I could see us becoming regular drinking Buddies ,, Scooter .

Hey Shameless...if you do decide to become regular drinking buddies with Scooter...I would recommend carrying um, "bail money" with you at all times...you never know...
Just a friendly word of advice...
Where did Scooter go anyway? That's OK, maybe better I don't know...
Hey Rumple, you got wheel locks on your truck???
Later,
Alan.
occasion5

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Barhttps://www.lushstories.com/stories/voyeur/how-humans-do-it-a-f
Posted 25 Mar 2010 09:28

Hey Mr. Rumpskin...I have a feeling that now that Scooter found this bar, a little sugar on the floor will be the least of your worries...
Hey Shameless...make sure you bolt down that mechanical bull real good now...and if Scooter tries to drag it out back to his truck to sell it for scrap, um, go get Rumple...
And Rump...you might want to hide that cigar box you been using as a cash register...just in case you actually do get a paying customer here one day...ah heck, you probably won't have to worry about that for a while...
Nice to see you here Scooter...
If your buying, I think I'll stick around for a bit...
Later,
Alan.
occasion5

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Barhttps://www.lushstories.com/stories/voyeur/how-humans-do-it-a-f
Posted 25 Mar 2010 06:19

Hey Scooter...I see you finally found your way over to Rumplebations, consistently ranked one of the best cyber Honky-tonk bars located on an erotic story site on the entire world wide web...
I want to remind you, this place has a lot of class...all low, but it has a lot of class...
And there are ladies present...well, sometimes...so, watch your language...
And no sneaking behind the bar when Rumple goes back in his office to watch porn...
The place does have some rules...
Scooter and I go way back by the way...we went to different schools together...
And thanks for the drink Mr. Scoot...
Ah Mr 4Skin...get Mr. Scooter one back...just, ah, um...put it on my tab...
Later,
Alan.
occasion5

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Barhttps://www.lushstories.com/stories/voyeur/how-humans-do-it-a-f
Posted 25 Mar 2010 05:48

Yeah, nice work Sir Rumpskin...and btw, if the whipped cream clean up is that big of a concern...I could probably round up a crew to help you out with that...
Btw...that new av pic reminds me of some of the patrons here at Rumplebations at the end of the night...holding on to the edge of the bar for dear life...
Oh well...such is life in the big city...
Later,
Alan.
occasion5

Topic A childhood favorite of mine May he rest in piece
Posted 25 Mar 2010 05:10

Yep, loved Davey Crockett. He had three ears you know : His right ear, his left ear and his wild front ear. He will be missed.

You write your own material Pete??? You should fire your writer...did make me smile thoughlaughing6
I know I had a Davey Crocket somethething or other when I was a kid...it may have been a plastic wallet...nothing to put in it, but I had a wallet...

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Barhttps://www.lushstories.com/stories/voyeur/how-humans-do-it-a-f
Posted 25 Mar 2010 04:56

Well you know, Mr. 4skin...it really wasn't our idea...it was actually one of the girls...I believe our very own LushPrincess Mara...
Apparently some of the female patrons are not happy with the entertainment in this place...personally, I think the 8-track player and the nightly bar fights work just fine for me, but some of the other paying customers had a difference of opinion...
I have to admit I was not real keen on the idea at first...thought it might change the ambiance of the place, but maybe that's a good thing...
Anyway...when I came across that video of girls riding a mechanical bull wearing only whipped cream bikinis...you could imagine what happens to the whipped cream by the end of the ride...I suddenly changed my opinion on the subject...you might say my whole outlook did a 180...
So, whenever you fork up the money for the bull, Shameless and I will gladly help drag it in across the new floor and bolt it down...
Anything to help...
While you're up...another drink please....
Later,
Alan.
occasion5

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Barhttps://www.lushstories.com/stories/voyeur/how-humans-do-it-a-f
Posted 25 Mar 2010 04:40

Oh Mr. Rumpster doesn't want powdered sugar on his new floor...
Don't worry...once Shameless and I drag that new mechanical bull in here...the new floor will look just like the old one...
And is that really your picture???
I'm Alan, by the way...pleased to meet you...
Rumpskin...get the lady a drink on me...just, um, put it on my tab...
Cheers,
Alan.
occasion5

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Barhttps://www.lushstories.com/stories/voyeur/how-humans-do-it-a-f
Posted 25 Mar 2010 04:32

Good Morning Lushers and Lushettes...Mr. 4skin...not sure what that white stuff is growing on top of the bignets...those things look a bit scary to me...I think you dragged them in with a big net on your last fishing trip...
I will have to say I admire your taste in personel these days...Lola looks like a very competent employee...just explain to her about my bar tab and feel free to take the rest of the day off...you look like you could use a rest...
In the meantime...I think I'll have the usual Rumplebation's Special Blend Java brewing in the can over there and a double shot of something strong enough to kill any germs...I heard a rumor that bourbon has great medicinal powers, let's give that a shot, eh...make it a double...yeah, that's the ticket...
Just, um, put it on my tab...
What time does Lola start, btw???
Later,
Alan.
occasion5

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Barhttps://www.lushstories.com/stories/voyeur/how-humans-do-it-a-f
Posted 24 Mar 2010 14:59

When's that damn bull getting installed anyway??? What's the holdup Mr. Rump???

http://www.lushstories.com/forum/upload/images/745-sexy_bull_riding_01.jpg
http://www.lushstories.com/forum/upload/images/313-sexy_bull_riding_07.jpg
http://www.lushstories.com/forum/upload/images/717-sexy_bull_riding_12.jpg
http://www.lushstories.com/forum/upload/images/777-sexy_bull_riding_15.jpg
http://www.lushstories.com/forum/upload/images/703-sexy_bull_riding_21.jpg

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Barhttps://www.lushstories.com/stories/voyeur/how-humans-do-it-a-f
Posted 24 Mar 2010 04:21

Good Morning Fellow Lushcateers...all this talk of whipped cream bikinis, with well-placed cherries no doubt is making me hungry...
And LP, don't worry about wiping off the bull...I'm sure you can find plenty of guys here that would volunteer for that job...myself included...
Ah, yes...another day at Rumple's...
Hey Rumpster...any Irish Coffee left over from St. Pat's Day??? Hopefully this past one...
If there is, I'll take one...oh, and can you add a dash of whipped cream??? Just had a taste for it for some reason...
Just, um, put it on my tab...
Cheers,
Alan.
occasion5

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Barhttps://www.lushstories.com/stories/voyeur/how-humans-do-it-a-f
Posted 23 Mar 2010 09:54

Yes fellow bar patrons...I think the mechanical bull may be the greatest invention since sliced bread...
If you need help carrying it in...just let me know...I'll send Shameless out to help you guys...no seriously, I would actually get up out of me seat to help with this one...

http://www.lushstories.com/forum/upload/images/112-011_16.jpg
http://www.lushstories.com/forum/upload/images/187-012_15.jpg
Cheers,
Alan.
occasion5

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Barhttps://www.lushstories.com/stories/voyeur/how-humans-do-it-a-f
Posted 23 Mar 2010 09:39

You know Algol...thanks for setting me straight on this subject...
I wasn't keen on the idea of the mechanical bull at first, but after I found a video on the net of girls riding a mechanical bull wearing only whipped cream bikinis...I have totally changed my mind...
http://cc.bingj.com/cache.aspx?q=naked+bull+riding&d=5000012023857777&mkt=en-US&setlang=en-US&w=8c183bf2,573ab1dc
It's amazing how one simple video can change a man's whole attitude...
Cheers,
Alan.
occasion5

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Barhttps://www.lushstories.com/stories/voyeur/how-humans-do-it-a-f
Posted 23 Mar 2010 06:35

Good Morning Lushcateers and other assorted Lushs of Lush...it is nice to see some women in this place for a change...I figure if they survive the walk through the neighborhood, they deserve at least a drink...
Mechanical bull, eh? What's the matter, the nightly bar fights aren't enough entertainment for you???
Besides, there is enough bull in this place...
Hey Rumpster...I have some really big news...I know you keep track of these things...my latest pile of words, The Woman In The Blue Chair is my first attempt at masturbation...eh, I mean writing in that category...heck, you know what I mean...
So, this puts me in probably more categories than I can count...I only have ten fingers mind you...Oh wait, just remembered, I can count to 21 with my clothes off....
That now makes 70 stories in 15 categories...
To honor this momentous occasion and piece of Lush history...I would like to buy a round for the house...
Just, um...just ah...put it on my tab...
Later,
Alan.
occasion5

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Barhttps://www.lushstories.com/stories/voyeur/how-humans-do-it-a-f
Posted 21 Mar 2010 12:58

Btw...Will and Lady...you posted on a forum topic from which I have refrained...
In the meantime...have a drink on me...
Cheers,
Alan.
occasion5

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Barhttps://www.lushstories.com/stories/voyeur/how-humans-do-it-a-f
Posted 21 Mar 2010 10:30

Alan, we've "talked" before about how most stories can fit in more than one category--sometimes in several. This new one probably touches on more than any other story I've ever done. More could have been added, but I decided against gilding the lilly.

It'd be fun to have a contest to see who could spot the most.

Rumple Foreskin rr

Yes Mr. Rumpskin...I know most stories can, but you managed to come up with a title that can fit into several categories...from one porn writer to another, I have to say I am impressed....
Oh, and while you're up and about...another drink please...just put it on my tab...
Cheers,
Alan.
occasion5

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Barhttps://www.lushstories.com/stories/voyeur/how-humans-do-it-a-f
Posted 21 Mar 2010 09:31

Hey Rump...I have not read your latest story yet...but just reading the title, I think you hit six more categories...
Btw, I posted story number 69 on Lush today...I just thought that was special...
Another round for the bar...put it on my, um, tab please...
Later,
Alan.
occasion5