Forum posts made by dirtymartini

Topic Bacon how do you like it?
Posted 19 Jul 2014 01:09

This sounds a bit kinky, if you ask me...just sayin'

Topic A YouTube channel, and site about Grammar than might be of interest to some here...
Posted 15 Jul 2014 14:49

A YouTube channel about Grammar than might be of interest to some here...appropriately enough called GrammarREVOLUTION ...

Check it out my grammar loving friends...

YouTube - GrammarREVOLUTION

They also have a Facebook page, with daily grammar type hints and stuff...

English Grammar REVOLUTION

And actually they have a website, and a bunch of other stuff...

English Grammar REVOLUTION - Learning Grammar Can Be Fun

Topic Plagiarism alert
Posted 15 Jul 2014 10:28

Alright, somebody was talking about plagiarism the other day, and I mentioned that I usually don't bother unless someone uses one of my pieces for commercial idiot has been sort of annoying me the last few years, using my poem "We Started As Friends" on his "being a good Mormon" site...he has ignored my requests, so I decided to fill out all the crap that Wordpress requires...let's see how this goes...this is what I got back from them earlier...and yeah, it's a lot of work...they make you fill out a fairly lengthy electronic form, and cite the copyright Nos. and the like...this is what it looks like...but, the poem is down from the offending site now, so yeah...progress...

12:10 PM (1 hour ago)

to me
> Email Address:
> First Name: Alan
> Last Name: Jankowski
> Company Name: n/a
> Phone Number: 8484671425
> Address: 169 N. Stevens Ave. #6
> City: South Amboy
> Country: n/a
> State: New Jersey
> Copyright holder you represent (if other than yourself):
> Offending URLs:
> Original materials:
> I believe that's what I just did above...
> The poem appears in my book btw...LOC: 1-813775133
> Copyright holder:
> Description of original materials:
> It is my poem "We Started As Friends" with the title changed...everything else he kept the same, as you can is a link to my poem on a poetry site, you can see it was added by me months before he posted it...
> The poem appears in my book btw...LOC: 1-813775133
> Third party links:
> n/a
> Signature (legally binding): Alan W. Jankowski
> Signed on this date: 2014-07-13 19:30:42

Hi there,

Your DMCA Notice has been received and reviewed for completeness.

In accordance with the requirements set forth by the DMCA, we have disabled access to the allegedly infringing material. Please note that we have notified the user who uploaded the material to provide them an opportunity to formally challenge this removal. We will notify you immediately If the user submits a counter-notice.

Thank you,

Topic FAIL Thread
Posted 15 Jul 2014 01:23

They definitely need something anyway...

Posted 15 Jul 2014 01:20

Hap py B irt hda y Ni col a... Pour Wine Regaeman Man occasion6 occasion7 occasion9 occasion1 Regaeman Man


Topic Yeah you look ok... but your collarbones are too high
Posted 10 Jul 2014 18:00

Oh god, now I have to worry about collarbone placement, too?? WTF??? sad3

I wouldn't exactly lose sleep over it if I were you...just sayin'

Topic Being Bi Polar
Posted 10 Jul 2014 17:49

Not sure it's any consolation, but I know quite a few people who are bi-polar...and writers tend to be notorious for suffering multiple mental illnesses, to the point where you might think it's a requirement...and a number of my bi-polar friends freely admit to not wanting to be medicated, because they enjoy the manic phases so much...nobody particularly cares for the come down though...

And how do you not realize that you broke your back, if I may ask? Just curious...dontknow

Topic How many women out there practice Kegel exercises daily, hourly?
Posted 10 Jul 2014 17:39

Kegels are good for men too.

Yes...and I don't realize there were people who thought otherwise...

Mayo Clinic - Kegel exercises for men: Understand the benefits

Topic Beating Depression
Posted 10 Jul 2014 17:33

DBT Programs can help. Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. If you have never heard of it, please take a few minutes to look it up and see if it's something you would be a fit for.

Yeah, personally, I find that CBT/DBT stuff easier said than done...basically, the whole premise is that it's all about how you look at I said, easier said than done...

Here's an article someone posted earlier over on FB, and I thought it might be of interest to some on this site...not positive I have it in the right thread, but feel free to move it...

Sexual orientation and mental health: results from a community survey of young and middle-aged adults

Topic What do you do to stay fit?
Posted 10 Jul 2014 17:28

I heard it works great on cupcakes and brownies too btw...

Topic FAIL Thread
Posted 09 Jul 2014 00:24

Something don't look quite right here to me...just can't place what it is at the moment...Regaeman Man

Topic Squirting in nearly every story
Posted 08 Jul 2014 01:15

Is the squirting described sensationally? Like across the room or something nonsensical like that? Or is it described as gushing or really wet? The latter is more realistic.

Really? I always thought it was like this...damn, now you tell me...

Btw...I don't think any of the gals in my stories are actual squirters...but, I really can't remember...Regaeman Man

Topic How would you turn a woman on without touching her tits, ass or pussy?
Posted 08 Jul 2014 01:08

If you really want to turn on a woman without touching her, you can always whip it out...your credit card, that is...

Topic Prefer females with pierced or unpierced nipples? Men only answer please
Posted 08 Jul 2014 01:01

Unpierced...really don't want anything that might chip my teeth...

Topic The Hot Ebony Chick Thread
Posted 07 Jul 2014 21:55

I just sort of stumbled across this whole Tumblr thingy btw...

I Love Black Women

Topic Are there any American actors who can do a convincing English accent?
Posted 06 Jul 2014 05:19

Speaking of American vs. English's a pretty accurate description of the whole subject...

Topic Happy 4th July weekend everyone!
Posted 04 Jul 2014 14:26

I figured I'd just sort of bump this thread, since I didn't see a more recent one...apparently July 4th only comes around every five years or so here on Lush...

Anyway...just wanted to wish all my fellow USA types a Happy July 4th ...and be safe out there, no matter what you do...Regaeman Man

Topic FAIL Thread
Posted 04 Jul 2014 03:15

Not quite sure what to say about this one...

Topic unfairness of women compared to men in the choice of whom we want to have sex with
Posted 04 Jul 2014 01:38

Quite unfair isn't it?.... what can we girls do about this serious issue?

Btw...I am quite sure there are more than a few guys here on Lush that would be more than willing to send you pictures of their Big Cock, if that would help you out any...

Topic Announcing the Winners of our "Supernatural / Sci-Fi" Stories Competition
Posted 04 Jul 2014 01:16

"Ah yes, clever, very well-written, erotic, and a bunch of other good stuff...can't really add much else that hasn't been said here already, other than it is most definitely a well-deserved win...Big Congrats here Lizzy, and judging from this piece, I guess I'll have to make it a point to find the time to read more of your work...if this one's any indication certainly..."

And excerpt of the comment I just left on Lizzy's winning story...and if you haven't read it, I would suggest you give it a read...

I have to say, I never thought of myself as being a fan of Supernatural stories...I guess I tend to think vampires, werewolves, shapeshifters...that sort of thing, but this story really has none of's just a very well-written, highly erotic story...with enough dash of the occult to give it a bit of extra flavor...

It's interesting too, because if this story didn't win, I'm sure I never would have bothered to read it...and would have missed a great story here on an aside note, a few years back I read one of Steffanie's supernatural stories because it won an EP, which made me curious, and she became one of my fave writers here on Lush...heck, maybe I really am a closet Supernatural fan, and don't even know it...

Anyway... Big Time Congrats are in order here Lizzy...and the other two btw...haven't read the second and third place winners Billy and Lupus as of yet, but I'm thinking maybe I should...

Big Congratulation s to all here... Pour Wine occasion9 occasion7 Regaeman Man Pint Drunk

Topic Today in Pictures (post a picture representing your mood)
Posted 03 Jul 2014 00:00

I have a feeling a few of my friends here can relate btw...Regaeman Man

Topic The writing workshop glossary...
Posted 29 Jun 2014 13:21

Might be of interest to some friends here...

Most writers, at some point in their lives, join a writers’ workshop, a weekly gathering of a dozen or so scribes who read one another’s work and offer constructive criticism in a group setting. They hope that by sharing their material and receiving feedback they will improve their craft. But take it from me, putting your work out there for critique can be a difficult – and even mysterious – process. Here is a glossary that can help you understand the terms you may hear in a workshop.

NYT - The writing workshop glossary

Topic Yet another chance to get in print...erotic stories or poems, for an upcoming anthology...
Posted 24 Jun 2014 22:32

Alright, my friends...this book of erotic short stories and poems is now out on Inner Child Press...and once I come across a list of authors, I will share that as well, as I happen to know there are some Lush Stories members in this the meantime, you could just buy it to find out...or buy all three editions from the last three years, because you do realize that I am in all three...I mean, what better reason is there to buy them all? I certainly can't think of one...dontknow

Inner Child Press - Hot Summer Nights 2014

Topic 7 Formatting Errors That Make Your Book Look Unprofessional...
Posted 24 Jun 2014 10:01

The good thing Metilda, is that there is quite a lot on the internet regarding the subject of eBook formatting...BookBaby is a good start btw...

The Top 10 Articles on eBook Formatting

Topic Club Zafia....
Posted 21 Jun 2014 14:13

Great video, and great version of this song...

Johnny Winter "Highway 61"


Topic FAIL Thread
Posted 19 Jun 2014 16:07

Maybe somebody here knows the answer to this one...I got nothing myself...

Topic Guns! Yaaay!!
Posted 16 Jun 2014 13:07

I just thought this was worth sharing somewhere here in the forum...can't make this stuff up my friends...Regaeman Man

At least five Americans accidentally shot off their penises since 2010

Excuse that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me? Talk about "going off half-cocked"...I know I really should not have laughed nearly as hard or long at this most serious subject...but, anyone who needs evidence that we need restrictions in this country as to who should own guns...well my friends, one only has to read these tales of five men who will most definitely be shooting blanks from now on...

Topic WHO is The Biggest Flirt Upon Lush Stories?
Posted 15 Jun 2014 20:56

Soooo, who's getting it?

Oh damn...I had no idea there was a Badge involved here...I would have been over here every day tossing around some well-worn lies, and dusting off some generic compliments I found in my Flirting On Lush Stories For Dummies book...

Anyway...I still think Miss Poppet is the biggest flirt's shameful the levels of flirtationliness that she stoops to...

I have to shy away in embarrassment like an awkward penguin from her ever-persistent attempts at picking me up wherever I may seems at times there's just no escape, however hard I try...

Topic WHO is The Biggest Flirt Upon Lush Stories?
Posted 15 Jun 2014 11:18

Nearly everyone on my friends list, hence them being there in the first place.

...Or maybe it is me, and that is why they have me as a friend? *Raises eyebrow*

You are pretty flirty there Miss Poppet...just sayin'

Topic 7 Formatting Errors That Make Your Book Look Unprofessional...
Posted 14 Jun 2014 23:38

7 Formatting Errors That Make Your Book Look Unprofessional

by Joel Friedlander

More and more writers are taking advantage of the new tools of publishing to create and publish their own books. This has led to an explosion of creativity, as writers are able to move their own books to market without the long delays and uncertainty of trying to get a traditional publisher to offer a contract.

Of course, there are also lots of authors who publish some of their books with traditional publishers, but still want to issue backlist, experimental, or non-commercial books themselves.
This is all good news for authors. But one of the consequences of authors becoming "do-it-yourself" publishers has been the proliferation of books that don't look quite right.

Although our books may be self-published, we sure don't want them to look sub-par, do we?
For many years I've helped authors get their books produced so they can compete with the books coming from traditional publishers. And while many authors hire professional book designers to create their books for them, this isn't practical or desirable from some people.

Some of the errors I see when reviewing self-published books are very easy to correct, if you only know how. So to help out, I've compiled here a list of the most common book formatting errors.

If you're doing your own formatting, make sure you pin this article up near your workstation. You'll be needing it.

7 Formatting Errors to Avoid

1. Putting page numbers on blank pages.

Blank pages have no text or images on them, and that means they should be truly blank. If you think about it, having a page number on a blank page really doesn't make sense, since there's nothing for the page number to refer to.

2. Using running heads on chapter opening pages or blank pages.

This is probably the most common formatting mistake of all, and I see it often in books from do-it-yourselfers. Just like page numbers, running heads (the type at the top of a page that shows the book title, author name, or chapter title) have no place on a blank page, just leave them off so the pages are truly blank.

3. Using "rag-right" typesetting.

Sometimes authors think they can make their pages look better by using rag-right typesetting. But if you walk over to your bookshelf and start looking at your own books, you will soon discover that virtually all books outside of art books or poetry, use fully justified composition. This means that the left and right margins of your page are straight and all lines except the last line in a paragraph are all the same length. This is what your readers expect to see in your book, so make sure you give it to them.

4. Double spacing between sentences.

Many of us learned to type quite a while ago, and many typing instructors told us to hit the space bar twice after a period. This is perfectly fine for business reports or memos, but it has no place in a book and can potentially cause problems when your book is typeset. So only one space between sentences.

5. Using both indented AND block style spaces between paragraphs.

Since we've started reading so much on web pages, we've grown accustomed to the block style of paragraph formatting. This is when paragraphs are separated by a line space instead of indenting the first line of a paragraph, as is usually done in books. Both work, but you have to pick one and stick to it. If you add spaces between your paragraphs, make sure you don't also indent the first line.

6. Putting the odd numbered pages on the left.

When you open a book, it just makes sense that the first page is page number 1, and that has to be a right-hand page. This rule is absolute, and you should never, ever number your pages with even numbers on right-hand pages.

7. Making super small margins to save pages.

Lots of authors who use print on demand services like CreateSpace know that they will be charged based on how many pages are in their book. But that's no reason to shortchange your readers by making your page margins too small just to save money. If your book is too long, reduce the type size a tiny bit or use a more space-efficient font. Small margins will make your book hard to hold and difficult to read, never a good result.

Paying attention to these details of book formatting will help ensure that your books look and work the way they are supposed to. Your readers will thank you for that, and it's your readers you should keep in mind throughout the publishing process.

Another way to solve a lot of these formatting problems while also getting a well-designed, industry-standard book is to use one of our book templates. They will save you an amazing amount of time and frustration, while making sure your book looks the way it should. You can find out more and see the available designs at: