Forum posts made by dirtymartini

Topic Our Adult Store is now Open! 10% OFF COUPON CODE inside
Posted 23 Jan 2014 17:31

You got an adult store sell adults? Cool...I'll take two, young and good looking, and female...thanks...Regaeman Man

I'll go spread the word about this newest of Lush ventures here Nic...and good luck btw...


Topic Facebook will burn out 'like an infectious disease' claim researchers
Posted 22 Jan 2014 15:25

Have you ever read the Daily Mail?

Wait...isn't this the same publication? I'm a bit confused now...not that that's anything unusual...dontknow

The 'death of Facebook' has been 'greatly exaggerated'

Topic After your parents split up, would you want them to ever get back together?
Posted 22 Jan 2014 15:06

If your dad bailed out on your mom before you were born, would you really want him back in her life? I doubt it, I would think you'd want better for parents divorced in 1974...doubt they'll ever get back together again...

Topic Shameless Self-Promotion - Yay or Nay?
Posted 20 Jan 2014 18:57

I really don't believe in shameless self-promotion myself...Liar

However...I do happen to think that this Lush author is rather good...

L us h S tor ie s - D ir ty Ma rt in i!!!

Btw, I agree with Ashleigh about people who tweet, and in any way advertise the same thing more than once...I have no real objection to the occasional mass mailing, or whatever...I can always delete it easy enough...just sayin'

Topic AUTHORSdB is an author database site for consolidating all your book listings, social media, etc...
Posted 20 Jan 2014 01:19

Alrighty here...looks like I ended up with a cool looking bronze badge...can't really complain...not sure that I actually get anything other than bragging rights, though there might be some added publicity stuff for the book...but, whatever it is, I'll take it...happy8

2013 Book Cover Contest Results

AUTHORSdb Information
6:55 AM (13 hours ago)

to me
Congratulations on your placement in the 2013 Book Cover Contest at Attached is your branded badge for you to use in your own promotions. Over the next few days, we will be adding these badges to your listings in our Author Database and on the winning books listings. The promotions of the gold, silver and bronze winners will be ongoing, so take advantage of the extra exposure.

We'd like to thank all who have participated in this extensive promotion, including our four live independent judges who spent countless hours scoring your cover—helping authors promote their masterpieces. You'll get a chance to meet them on and to find out more about how the judging was scored, please go to

Please let us know if you would like your cover to be entered into the 2014 contest.

May you sell-out of books in 2014!

Best regards,
The Team Badge Authorsdb 2013.jpg

Topic Strange camel toe pic
Posted 18 Jan 2014 20:24

Yeah, definitely camel tow there...btw, here's that phrase clearly explained...for anyone here not sure what it means...

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 15 Jan 2014 15:31

Good Evening my Lushketeer Friends...good to see you around here Miss Mazza...things always seem to heat up when you're around...

Nice to see you Mr. Scooter...I heard a rumor that it was National Party Day today...otherwise known as your and Miss Holly's birthday...what kind of free drink specials we got going on here for the occasion today Reverend Rump? Anyway, either way...pour me a rather large glass of Beaver Breath with a VodQuila chaser...have to try that stuff Scooter be talkin' about...if Scooter recommends it, it's got to be good...I just hope the Feds don't raid the place while I'm here...

Yeah, I know I haven't been around much...been so busy with real life sort of stuff, I haven't even had time to make it to the bar...and yeah, I know...that's bad...anyway, I'll try to do better in the meantime, slide those drinks down this way Reverend...


Topic Bacon how do you like it?
Posted 14 Jan 2014 21:43

I have to admit, the idea of a bacon martini never occurred to me until I saw this posted over on Facebook earlier...but I have to admit, I think it might have some possibilities...just sayin'

Topic AUTHORS - 6 New Categories - Please move any stories you have which would be better suited to the ne
Posted 14 Jan 2014 17:28

So we will not accept a poem in the Humor category, it should go in the erotic category and carry a humor tag.

I think that answers my question btw...I moved four stories into the "humor" category yesterday, but only one showed up over there until today for some reason...

I'll have to spend some more time with this soon, but it looks like at least half of my poems will have to be moved...and I have a bunch of poems btw...just sayin'

Topic AUTHORS - 6 New Categories - Please move any stories you have which would be better suited to the ne
Posted 14 Jan 2014 05:06

Oh wow looks like I might have might have to move most of my stories...

And stop bobbing your head while I'm trying to talk to you, will ya? Getting me dizzy here...Regaeman Man

Topic Colorado Calling...
Posted 14 Jan 2014 00:12

It looks like this one has inspired a response, from none other than the witty M.P. Witwer, aka Maggie Rascal herself, after I had posted it over on that fine blue site known as Stories Space...happy8

Jersey Rejoicing by magnificent1rascal

This is not the first time the Rascally One and myself have responded to each other's poems btw...check out her "Better Than You" poem, and my response "A Pressing Problem On Stories Space" for instance...

Topic Is there a Mod avaibale for a couple of questions?
Posted 10 Jan 2014 18:38

Whatever the question is, the answer is "Yes"...

Oh wait, I'm not a mod here...never mind...Regaeman Man

Topic Colorado Calling...
Posted 09 Jan 2014 11:54

Sitting here working on a new poem...any suggestions? Btw...I'm surprised there aren't more poems on this topic...just sayin'

Colorado Calling

Moved to Colorado the other day,
Told the wife I needed to get away.
I guess she didn't think that I'd be gone long,
Since all I packed was underwear and a bong.

The decision to move was easy to make,
In fact, it was a piece of cake.
Ten long years with that naggin' bitch,
I definitely knew it was time for a switch.

One day I just realized that I had enough,
So I grabbed a bag, and packed my stuff,
Didn't even bother to say 'Goodbye,'
All I could think about was getting high.

I knew I belonged here, it was in my blood,
To live in a state where I can buy premium bud,
Yeah, getting away was really the point,
You might say I traded the wife for a joint.

Just bought me another bag of weed,
Seems I got everything I need,
Once I smoke me another blunt,
I'll forget all about that evil gal.

Now the smoking be really fine,
The 7-11 is where I dine,
No one to be a constant pain in my ass,
While I'm sitting here smoking up my grass.

It's nice to be here on my own,
Sparking up yet another bone,
On days I don't want to roll,
I can just pack me a bowl.

These days I got a smile on my face,
A huge grin you just can't erase,
No nagging bitch to drive me insane,
Just hangin' here with Mary Jane.

I'd like to sit around and conversate,
But with Mary Jane, I got a date,
And if you happen to run into my ex-wife,
You can tell her I finally got a life.


Topic my first amusing/silly/funny pics thread :O
Posted 08 Jan 2014 21:20

Here's a bit of Hip Hop Humor for my Lush friends here...happy8

Topic Today in Pictures (post a picture representing your mood)
Posted 07 Jan 2014 00:24

Yeah, been pretty damn cold around here as of late...and this is really cold btw...

Topic FAIL Thread
Posted 02 Jan 2014 12:38

I wonder what MLK would have to say about this...

Topic Android or Iphone
Posted 01 Jan 2014 19:51


Topic How about a WIN thread?
Posted 01 Jan 2014 19:26

I think I finally found the solution to drinking and driving...a bar that comes to I just need to get the phone number...just sayin'

Topic Bacon how do you like it?
Posted 01 Jan 2014 19:18

Damn, I just found a new breakfast idea...I wonder if I can get this at McDonalds...would it be wrong to ask them to Supersize it?

And this would be the alternative for those on the go btw...

Topic Random Birthday?
Posted 01 Jan 2014 17:56

I just thought I had 120 friends here born on January 1...didn't seem strange to me...Regaeman Man

Topic "Madiba"...written for the upcoming Inner Child Press anthology...
Posted 31 Dec 2013 15:26

Note : This was written for the print anthology..."Mandela, The Man, His Life, Its Meaning, Our Words" be released by Inner Child Press in early 2014... and there's still some time to submit btw...if you're a day late, they won't mind...

Now Open for Submissions - Mandela Cover 1.jpg.opt388x485o0,0s388x485.jpg


He was the voice of those who had no voice,
The spokesman for the oppressed.
He became a true hero to the downtrodden,
Who had been denied their basic human rights.
There were those who tried to stop him,
But he proved himself a true force of nature.
Because you can arrest the man,
But you can't arrest his vision.
And while they could lock him in a cell,
They could not lock away his ideas.
And while they could put shackles on his body,
They could not put shackles on his dreams.
And those dreams live on,
To the very ends of the Earth,
In every classroom where black and white
Learn side by side.
In every place of worship,
Where young and old gather together,
In every peaceful demonstration,
Where tyranny falls, and liberty reigns triumphant.
And in the cry of every newborn,
That they be born into a world of hope and tolerance,
Where equality and civil rights are the norm.
For you can bury the man, but not his beliefs.
And though his voice may be silent,
His spirit will live on and on.


Topic Been wondering if I should post more...
Posted 29 Dec 2013 22:09

If you look at my stories, I haven't posted in months, mainly due to my depression of several personal things.

Actually, others here have noted, you're not the only one who suffers from depression...I have for years btw...and I haven't posted anything here for a variety of reasons as well...

I agree with Miss Shy Daisy and the rest...if you feel like writing, write...if you feel like posting, post...there's no rule here says you have to post a certain amount per year or anything...and when you do feel like posting again...I guarantee, Lush will be here for ya'

Topic Vegans and Cum-Swallowing
Posted 29 Dec 2013 19:07

It is obvious, of course, that a true, honest Vegan would never suck down anyone's bodily fluids. They will use no animal products or parts what so ever. That is the truth. Neither skin, nor hair, nor flesh, nor milk, nor semen, nor pussy juices would cross their lips. And we humans are but animals of a sort. So there. Hah!!

Sounds to me like true Vegans would have a rather dull sex life...just sayin'

Topic Does Technology Help or Hinder You?
Posted 22 Dec 2013 21:01

Totally helps...I don't think I could imagine writing a story if I had to use a typewriter, and carbon paper and stuff...I'd be completely lost without a word processor...just sayin'

Topic Lie versus Lay - which is which? Authors PLEASE READ
Posted 22 Dec 2013 20:54

I've been known to lie to get a lay...oh wait, that's another story...

Nice post, I'll never remember any of it though...Regaeman Man

Topic Too many story ideas?
Posted 22 Dec 2013 20:51

I as a Christian have no problem with what I write, they might if they find out.

I would tend to assume that Haineko is not your real name, so it shouldn't be a problem...and I agree with the others who wish they had your problem...just start writing the stuff up, that's all...

Topic Wishing you all a Merry Xmas, and a Happy New Year!
Posted 22 Dec 2013 20:41

Yeah, Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year to you and everyone here as well...

I found a nice tree to decorate this year, looks like a Colorado Spruce...I doubt they'll be any cookies left for Santa though...just sayin'

And of tree is complete without suitable ornaments...Mr. Scooter helped me pick these out btw...

Anyway...just want to note that Christmas this year falls on a Wednesday...and we all know what that means...

And let's not forget the true meaning of Christmas my friends...fortunately for Jesus, he was born over 2k years ago and not today...

And yes...Santa will not be passing up any cookies this year...rumor has it he'll have plenty of appetite...

And finally...the really meaning behind that phrase explained...

That's all for now...I need to go wrap some gifts for the holidays...

Have a great holiday my Lushie Friends...Pour WineRegaeman Man Pour WineRegaeman Man Pour WineRegaeman Man


Topic Favorite show.
Posted 22 Dec 2013 18:50

I never actually saw this show, but just saw this and felt the need to post it somewhere...since it seems to be such a hot topic as of late...

Topic Science Says: Cocktails Could Protect You From Getting Sick...
Posted 19 Dec 2013 11:25

I had assumed as much for sometime now...I think I have some friends who may never get sick...just sayin'

Science Says: Cocktails Could Protect You From Getting Sick

Topic Writing a Whole Novel...?
Posted 15 Dec 2013 08:55

I thought this was a decent article...and you can look at the thread above to find out how to actually write one, after you decide to do it...of course...

11 Ways Writing a Novel Changed My Life