About elitfromnorth

And so I have returned. Behold my awesomeness and epicness as I yet again wander the chatrooms. I will insult you and mock you, but it's all in good fun.... unless I don't like the look of you, then it's because I think you're a cunt. Just ask me and I'll let you know all you want.

My stories are mostly based on humour and sarcasm. If you're one of those that think that sex should be all seriousness then stay away from my stories and you should probably stay away from me until you've gotten a sense of humour. Also if you're touchy and can't take a joke.

Elit North
Relationship Status:
In a Relationship
Burrowed, Norway
Writing, watching a good movie, football, beer, whisky, cognac.
Favorite Books:
Vlad the Impaler - Son of the Devil, Hero of the People Gavin Baddeley & Paul Woods
Favorite Authors:
Agatha Christie, J.R.R. Tolkien
Favorite Movies:
LOTR, The Gladiator, The Green Mile.
Favorite Music:
Varied. Depending on my mood. Everything from Rammstein to Zero 7.
Date Joined:
12 Feb 2012
Last Visit:
04 Dec 2016 (5 days ago)
Page Viewed:
17,011 times
Days in Chat:
Days on Site:
Forum Posts:

Not following any authors

Latest Forum Posts
Topic: Has the UK replaced the US as the political laughingstock of the world?
Posted: 05 Jul 2016 22:08

we'll always be the laughing stock as long as we have Obama. and will continue to be if we get Hillary. it'll take someone with balls like Trump to change world opinion about us.

Believe me, the world will not think you've done a good job if you elect Trump. With his rethoric America will probably alienate half the countries in the world will the other half will try to figure out how to work things out without the US. Trump as president will end up in two things:
1) US becomes more isolated as Trumps rethoric alienates more and more countries. Trade agreements will go to shits and Europe will start looking elsewhere for friends.
2) Trump goes back on all he's said, does nothing about it and all his voters realise that he's just another politician. Will get kicked out after 4 years and just as likely Democrats will win both houses after 2 years.

Topic: Old game series that needs to be redone.
Posted: 20 Dec 2015 16:27

Not really a series, but Outlaws was an epic game. Have returned to it from time to time. Old western game where when you reloaded your revolver you got in two bullets each time. Rifle was one shot each reload. No cross hair, meaning you had to aim with your actual gun. It was great.

Topic: The Ukraine Crisis
Posted: 15 Mar 2015 15:19

Who are you aligning yourself with - against Putin?

The Russians have a bit of history, up close and very personal - with these fuckers. In 'the old days' they were called The Third Reich.

Add in the fact that there's a widespread desire to have America throw in with them against Putin - is quite informative, about those who would have Obama do so.

These aren't freedom fighters in Ukraine.

The far right was a necessity for the Ukrainian revolution. They were the ones that were armed and ready to fight against the police/army of the old regime. If they hadn't participated Ukraine would still be under Russian control since the protesters would have been butchered. And the current government is weak and thus still needs the far right. It is nothing different than USA and Stalin allying against Hitler. An alliance born out of necessity, not out of common ground.

Topic: Capital Punishment
Posted: 05 Mar 2015 14:56

Indonesia want to stop drug smuggling. They want smugglers to know they mean business. I think the executions do just that.

Capital punishment has proven to be one of the worst precautionary or sending signals thing to do. It doesn't do jack shit and death row inmates are usually a lot more expensive than life without parole. There's no good reason for it.

Maybe they let them through simply to give them a higher sentence. Or because an extradition to Australia would be a great bargaining chip to get them to give up the entire ring. 2-3 years in Aussie prison for possession won't scare you a lot. The prospect of life in Singapore might get you to give up the entire ring, those ordering the damn thing and everything. And I doubt they thought Singapore would actually go through with the execution. Executing a foreign national will really piss off the home country and diplomatic reprocussions can be extremely harsh. I bet the police did a gamble and lost.

Topic: Crisis in Ukraine
Posted: 14 Feb 2015 18:29

Putin wants a strong Russia and for that Russia needs friends. At the moment all the former Warzaw pact countries are leaning towards EU, leaving Putin with nothing more than his Asian former USSR countries as buddies. Up until recently Ukraine was a good buddy for Putin. Despite seeming like a crazy dictator, Putin is a genius tactician. Right now he's supporting the rebels making sure that they are keeping Ukraine at worst(for Putin) divided, at best at a civil war. As long as Ukraine is in a civil war they cannot enter the EU or NATO, making sure they at least stay a buffer zone. And then it's a waiting game. Wait for the EU to fuck over Ukraine and then watch the next election create a pro Russian government. What Putin need is for Ukraine to stay away from the EU. As long as that happens he's happy.

Topic: Three-parent babies - anyone else freaked out?
Posted: 08 Feb 2015 14:34

If there is anyone who wants further explanation of genetics and the role of mitochondria, write to me and I wil try to give a simple explanation.

Best.... pickup line.... ever!!!

Topic: Connecticut teen legally forced to undergo chemotherapy
Posted: 12 Jan 2015 16:50

But Fortin says it's her daughter's right to refuse chemotherapy, saying she doesn't want to poison her body.

"This is not about death," Fortin says. "My daughter is not going to die. This is about, 'This is my body, my choice, and let me decide.' "

"My daughter is not going to die, even if she has been diagnosed with cancer that will most certainly kill her wtihout any treatment" So unless she proves something that is actually scientifically proven to work against the cancer, and she says that she will opt for that part(like surgery or whatever) then I will put this women in the same group as those that say vaccines cause autism. That in itself should disqualify you for even getting a child.

Topic: Verb-subject agreement dilemma. Need help!
Posted: 05 Jan 2015 15:15

Another way to analysis the sentence -- and this is something I learned many years ago when I was an ickle girl -- is strip away the descriptive words so you're left with the very core of the sentence.

In this case the core of the sentence would read: "A group is playing".

Sounds much better than "A group are playing", don't you think?

There's a big grammatical difference between "A group" and "A group of people". In the first example you can replace "A group" with "It", thus making it correct with is because we are talking about a single group. The core of the phrase here is "group" and thus it becomes is. However in the second example "People" become the core of the sentence and determines the conjugation of the verb, thus "A group of people" are since it is plural. This is one of the more complex and tricky ones in grammar and sadly the only thing that will get it right is.... studying *awaits for the large moan and displeased people*

As for the British English; Yes, you can say American English and you can say British English. Both are equal when it comes to academics and especially in teaching a second language. You might get grumpy looks in the UK for writing AE, but no one with English as a non-native language will criticise you for writing color and not colour.

Topic: New Premium Membership policy
Posted: 02 Jan 2015 18:53

I just heard about all of this. I think I'll just leave. I'm only 19 with a new baby on the way. My husband and I have enough expenses as it is and its a shame because this place sort of spiced things up for us and it was where I planned to write more stories as a creative outlet. Oh well. Its not entirely necessary for me. <img src="/forum/images/emoticons/dontknow.gif" alt="dontknow">

Go look at the graphics and you'll see what you can and can't do


Even as a non-paying member you can still post stories and read and comment and all that crap. It's simply because black boxes and PM's take up shitload of server space. Chatrooms are stored locally on your comp so they don't take up that much server space. Read through the site announcement and don't rely on angry members' information. It's like reading twitter for news...

Topic: Questions concerning the new Membership options can be asked here
Posted: 02 Jan 2015 18:47

That does not change the fact that taking away BASIC rights like having friends and talking to said friends is wrong.

Basic rights? You don't have any rights in here. In here you have priveleges that is Nic's right to take away from you whenever she feels like. You can't even send a letter to your mum without having to pay postage for it, but you believe you have the right to send messages in here without being charged a tiny fee?

I might not be Nic's greatest fan, but from the time I have known her I doubt that her intention with this is so that she and Gav can go on a four week trip to Mauritius and light their cigars with $100 bills while enjoying their Dom Perignon '57. To be honest I'd say that making people pay to stay here is not only reasonable, it is also a last resort. Instead of users you are now customers. This increases the pressure on her and Gav to keep this site at a top level. You're not paying top dollar, but you're still expecting to be feed something good(unlike if you're a customer of Ubisoft. Then you pay a lot of money and get served shite).

Also, is it so that you can't block people unless you're Gold? Because I would reconsider that if I were you guys. Also how about another little perk for Gold members; They can recieve messages from regular users. I once was on a dating site where they had regular(free) users, plus and super(most expensive). Free users could only send messages to super users, plus could send messages to plus and super users and super could send messages to everyone. Is that possible or is that gonna give poor old Gav nightmares through his coding?

back to top
Recent Activity
Stories Published By elitfromnorth
Recommended Read Choking the Blue Snake

Sir Edmund Bluesnake walked into the library of his manor and slumped down in one of the lounge chairs. It had been a hard day’s work. Not only did he have to make sure that the beer his brewery was making had the right taste, he was also required to go to his distillery and check on his whisky. The nearly two hour long drive had made his chauffeur desperate for a smoke as Sir Edmund didn’t...

Added 26 Mar 2013 | Category Quickie Sex | Votes 8 | Avg Score 4.63 | Views 5,008 | 6 Comments


I took a deep breath as I walked down towards the Immigration desks. For some reason, people in uniform have always made me a bit worried, even if I haven’t done anything wrong. Customs and Immigration officers were the two types that always had me a bit more worried. I had walked past armed soldiers that were more than trigger-happy, without flinching. But for some reason, these guys, who...

Added 11 Oct 2012 | Category Oral Sex | Votes 29 | Avg Score 4.78 | Views 9,338 | 20 Comments

Audio Story Ode to JJ's cock

There once was a girl named JJ, Who had a cock above her vajayjay; It was a sizeable prick, Often called Moby Dick, But, sadly, now it's on vaycay. It was the greatest one in the world; She used duct tape to keep it curled. Nearly 8 feet long, They sang it a song, Then buckets of cum, it hurled. Looking at hers makes me dumb as a mute; Mine barely works as a piccolo flute. With her...

Added 07 Oct 2012 | Category Love Poems | Votes 6 | Avg Score 4.83 | Views 3,041 | 2 Comments

Nutty Night In

Polly the Preggo was sat comfortably on the couch, spread-eagled and kicking her legs, with her wellies flapping comfortably onto her skin. There was something delicious about that feeling, the waft of air as it rushed past her knees with every kick. She could sometimes feel those welly breaths blow up between her legs, underneath the thin, long t-shirt she was wearing. As she lay back on...

Added 08 Sep 2012 | Category Lesbian | Votes 10 | Avg Score 5 | Views 5,555 | 9 Comments

Audio Story Copycouple

The autumn rain hammered down onto the darkened skylights above him as he wandered down the hallway. As he went through his evening routine of checking that all the lights were off, he locked each office door as he went along, listening to the wind and rain as his cock stiffened. The closer he got to her room, the more excited he felt; his fingers began to fumble on the locks. Reaching the end...

Added 01 Sep 2012 | Category Fetish | Votes 25 | Avg Score 4.83 | Views 7,791 | 16 Comments

Recommended Read Dealing with Death Part III

Bill held out his scythe and spun it around along the wall, carving a hole there. A blinding flash struck out as he finished the oval circle. The wall seemed to open up as a portal to the other side was finalised and ready. “Time to go.” Sarah crossed her arms over her chest and pouted. “No! I told you there’s more from that file that I wanna know.” “Too bad.” Bill stretched out...

Added 01 Aug 2012 | Category Anal | Votes 19 | Avg Score 4.89 | Views 4,712 | 14 Comments

Armed again

My helmet my armour my sword my shield All of these you took from me I opened my heart up to you The love I showed was always true I confided in you and told you things Thoughts that only a loving heart brings I gave it my all because I loved you so Maybe that was too much for you It was not the breakup that made me mad It was not the heartache that made me sad What tore me...

Added 28 Jul 2012 | Category Love Poems | Votes 11 | Avg Score 4.82 | Views 1,161 | 8 Comments

Audio Story Dealing with Death Part II

The Grim Reaper stuck his bony hand inside his cloak, and pulled out a pocketwatch with a chain attached to whatever was inside. “For fuck's sake. Can you get your saggy ass moving? We’re already late and if I don’t get to pick up the others, then I’ll have to go hunting for ghosts. That’s a fucking nightmare.” Sarah sat down on the bed, looking up at him. “What is your name?” ...

Added 27 Jul 2012 | Category Lesbian | Votes 22 | Avg Score 4.85 | Views 5,226 | 14 Comments

Audio Story Dealing with Death Part I

Sarah sat up in her bed. She flinched as she put her feet on the floor, waiting for the cold floorboards to make her curl her toes in pain. “Well that’s weird.” She didn’t feel anything apart from her feet hitting the floor. Not the texture of the floor or the temperature. When she started to regain her senses she didn’t even feel cold at all. She looked outside and saw the snow on the...

Added 14 Jul 2012 | Category First Time | Votes 31 | Avg Score 4.86 | Views 7,359 | 21 Comments

Image Gallery
Image Gallery
8 Images
Video Gallery
Video Gallery
1 Videos
Friends Comments
Friends Comments

Posted: 24 Oct 2016 05:10
I see you popping in from time to time. I heard guys like melons.

Posted: 26 Aug 2016 00:20
Happy Birthday from the Lush team.

Posted: 31 Dec 2015 13:49

Posted: 30 Dec 2015 15:28

ba dump bump

Posted: 23 Dec 2015 20:43
Merry Christmas!

Posted: 21 Sep 2015 12:35
Posted: 26 Aug 2015 00:20
Happy Birthday from the Lush team.

Posted: 04 Jan 2015 15:00
Have a great birthday you wild and crazy Viking!

Posted: 22 Dec 2014 17:06

Posted: 14 Dec 2014 20:02

Posted: 31 Oct 2014 08:10
Posted: 17 Sep 2014 16:43
Happy Birthday

Posted: 26 Aug 2014 02:20

hope you had a good birthday!
Posted: 26 Aug 2014 00:20
Happy Birthday from the Lush team.

Posted: 25 Aug 2014 18:04
Happy Birthday Big Guy!!

Posted: 22 Jul 2014 20:42
and .... where the fuck are you?? are you on vacation?? or hiding?? or .... oh ... are you on your way to come visit me?????

if any of those are true .... come back soon .... I miss our chats!!

Posted: 22 Jul 2014 20:41

Posted: 19 Jul 2014 09:43
I laughed at this ....

Posted: 09 Jul 2014 18:36
wanna lick? ...

Posted: 30 Jun 2014 15:54
gosh .... I think you missed me!!

back to top

Attach a note to this member, which only you can see.

Tell us why

Please tell us why you think this profile page is inappropriate.