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How to get an old friend to notice me Options · View
cherrydawn74
Posted: Saturday, January 5, 2013 10:54:26 AM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 2/18/2012
Posts: 7
Location: Ohio
Serious question: I reconnected with an old friend. He is getting divorced and so am I. I really like him and I think he likes me..but I can't tell...how do I get him to notice me? This is very tricky as my daughter is dating his son.
biggym
Posted: Saturday, January 5, 2013 11:47:11 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 3/10/2012
Posts: 82
Location: Charlotte, United States
double date!!!
HBmale
Posted: Saturday, January 5, 2013 11:58:44 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/29/2012
Posts: 226
Location: So Cal, United States
Ask him out for drinks, of coarse.
Guest
Posted: Saturday, January 5, 2013 1:14:22 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 781,118
Run around naked. Anybody would be a fool not to notice that. Or just ask him out, that'll be more wise. Worst case scenario? Slight awkwardness and embarrassment, y'all'd get over it.
Guest
Posted: Sunday, January 6, 2013 6:43:59 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 781,118
WOW, you are about to get a divorce and you would like to start dating your daughter's boyfriend's father? Try asking him out yourself.. he can only accept or decline your invitation.
Guest
Posted: Thursday, February 11, 2016 7:22:01 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 781,118
That Is a complex situation. You'll have to consider how you reconnectec with your old friend. Was it via your kids? If so, you dont want to affect their chances for true love. It seems harsh to have to wait- if other's or yourself have given you that thought. This IS a more accepting and more open time than the past. If you and your old friend reconnect, or even if you try and fail at reconnecting- the young dating couple should Accept you and him together or your failed attempt as much as they would accept one of their friend's new queer friend with ear and nose gauges and a split tongue deciding to simultaneously date their one friend and another on a sort of threeway date.

If your and your old friend's children "decide" they understand you then that would simply be because they were being selfish. If they would remove themselves from the situation and Only consider the feelings of their respective parent they would accept whoever their parent decided to date.

You raised them, fed, clothed, taught, cleaned, and served as an example of a caring person trying to do their best. They should accept Whatever decision you make for your own life and happiness.

Dont immediately counter any opposition with the "you are being selfish" argument. They might react poorly. Try the gentle, reasoning approach and make an analogy that if it were a stranger's father it shouldn't matter to her. The heart wants what it wants, and you had an attachment in yours to this guy for a long time. You have lived longer and are more likely to know if someone is right for you and might not even need to date for an extended length of time.

If your respective kids "can't handle it" or break up "because of it" then it is only their own fault for being too affected by others or by being too old fashioned. They are not the keepers of your emotions- only you are.

cheers
Paman
Posted: Thursday, February 11, 2016 9:19:26 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 4/17/2012
Posts: 83
Location: United Kingdom
cherrydawn74 wrote:
Serious question: I reconnected with an old friend. He is getting divorced and so am I. I really like him and I think he likes me..but I can't tell...how do I get him to notice me? This is very tricky as my daughter is dating his son.


To be able to give advice I think I need to know what the likely outcomes of the two divorces are. In particular, what sort of relationships do you expect your daughter will have with you, and with her father, after your divorce? What sort of relationship do you expect your daughter's boyfriend to have with his father, and his mother after his father's divorce? In other words what are each of the post-divorces parent-child relationships likely to be.

With some combinations the problem is easy and you could, for example, ask him for coffee or a drink. Other combinations will be more fraught and need thought before advice is offered.

But whatever the possible outcomes your happiness must be considered as being important because life is NOT a rehearsal.
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