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The joys of French kissing, and the lack of it. Options · View
Guest
Posted: Thursday, February 07, 2013 11:31:34 PM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 675,532
My wife has decided she no longer wants to French kiss me. She claims she "doesn't know why" but has determined she does not enjoy it any more. Of course, I LOVE it and find it to be a huge turn-on. In the past few years, I've noticed a big decline. Now, nothing. Any suggestions are much appreciated. I'm only 52 and figure I've got at least 25 years of dry kisses ahead of me. Don't like that idea one bit.
Guest
Posted: Friday, February 08, 2013 4:34:32 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 675,532
Like many situations, we don't really know enough to do more than just shoot in the dark....

Are there other things she also has stopped doing or doing as often? It may be an overall decline in her desires for things and not just french kissing but this is what you notice most since it appears to be so important to you?

The reasons for decline in things can be wide and varied and does tend to hit in the mid-life times. How old is your wife?

Has your diet changed? Oral hygiene changed (not something most would like to admit but it IS an important factor and our partners notice things more than we do)?

Many times when a partner says they "don't know why", they DO.
BelleduJour
Posted: Friday, February 08, 2013 5:55:57 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/13/2011
Posts: 1,507
Location: Canada
Once again, I am dumbfounded when I hear of partners (married or not) suddendly deciding for themselves that they DON'T want to do something anymore without so much as a discussion with their partner or some kind of explanation. Seriously?? Granted, there may be things that were once exciting and enjoyable that for one reason or another, may no longer be BUT to just yank it off the menu without trying to figure out WHY through further discussion or perhaps even therapy, is just plain SELFISH! It just begs the question 'What's next?' Next thing you know, you're NO LONGER HAVING SEX - then what?? Seriously, people need to grow the fuck up and COMMUNICATE and realize that a relationship, ANY relationship, takes TWO people to make it work. And that goes both ways. Sorry for ranting, but these types of topics just hit a very tender nerve for me. Regardless, I wish you luck in your pursuit to bring back the french kissing you love so much.

blazestcyr
Posted: Friday, February 08, 2013 7:23:42 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/19/2011
Posts: 737
Location: where bugs die
i know belle having been married to a man who decided that americans were oversexed immoral creatures..me too

he stopped french kissing and then the sex and it broke my heart and thus my marriage

to me a french kiss is more intimate than mere sex

loving husband there is something more going on than sex or kissing

she ..she is having issues with her marriage and sex

but just to make sure...you do brush your teeth before kissing tongue too please and if she is really picky use mouthwash

i know crazy i dont even mind coffee or onion breath but some people have HUGE hangups about mouths

when kissing stops in marriage never mind sex..something serious is wrong

and to me that vow of LOVE in front of people means..kissing sex hugs...period..

if we all wanted roomates we would never marry

i pray you both get help...i pray the hurt of being denied..is awful....

talk to her..get her to a therapist..bu realise this is HER not ..you...

hugs
Guest
Posted: Friday, February 08, 2013 7:30:42 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 675,532
Thanks to all for the input. Yes, I do brush my teeth, but will do a better job, LOL. And, yes, I think blasestcyr is correct. There may be something else going on. And I do think that once the kissing stops, other things stop, too. I do appreciate the advice. Very much so.
Nikki703
Posted: Friday, February 08, 2013 8:52:34 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/7/2009
Posts: 13,844
Location: The Other Side Of The Mirror
Like has been already said, she says she doesnt know why but chances are she does know. It could be that your breath isnt as fressh as it once was. As people age, sometimes their breath can get bad, not because of you dont brush but for other medical reasons. I know I dont want to kiss anyone that has bad breath but if I loved the person, I would discuss it with him/her and come up with a solution. But chances are if this was the case she wouldnt want to kiss you at all.

Sounds like there is much more going on here. Has her sex drive decreased? Has she stopped doing anything else she did before, Oral, Anal, etc.?

If it continues or gets worse, I suggest you have a heart to heart talk with her to get to the root of the problem. And maybe get some counseling. Good Luck!
lafayettemister
Posted: Friday, February 08, 2013 9:05:52 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/4/2010
Posts: 6,447
Location: Alabama, United States
LovingHusband708 wrote:
My wife has decided she no longer wants to French kiss me. She claims she "doesn't know why" but has determined she does not enjoy it any more. Of course, I LOVE it and find it to be a huge turn-on. In the past few years, I've noticed a big decline. Now, nothing. Any suggestions are much appreciated. I'm only 52 and figure I've got at least 25 years of dry kisses ahead of me. Don't like that idea one bit.


I'm of a different mindset. I don't think it has anything to do with oral hygiene. You've been married for 25 years, with that amount of time under your belt you're wife is probably comfortable enough to tell you, "yo, hubby. you need to brush yo teeth!"

She doesn't want to French kiss, is she still ok with other kisses. Quick pecks to say good night and hello? She hasn't cut sex out altogether yet right? So when you're having sex, do you kiss at all? Mouths/lips pressed together but no tongue? Or is there no kissing of any kind?

I'm not in the camp that thinks your wife not wanted to French kiss is necessarily because of something you've done wrong, or bad breath. This is something much deeper than that. If she's lost her enjoyment of French kissing, why? French kissing in general or french kissing with you.

Hard truth, if the woman I loved decided she didn't want to makeout anymore I'd assume the worst. Either...

1. She's no longer in love with me, therefore kissing me grosses her out.
2. She's having an affair and is in love with another man. Kissing you feels like she's cheating on him, odd as that may be.
3. Her sex drive is diminishing and this is the tip of the iceberg and it won't be long until all sexual contact is "no longer what she wants since she gets no enjoyment out of it". edit... which she is entitled to feel, it's her body. how you deal with that as an individual and as a couple is what will matter.





When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates
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