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How about a gay section in Personal/Relationships Options · View
CurlyGirly
Posted: Monday, February 18, 2013 3:15:28 PM

Rank: CurlyFries

Joined: 10/5/2012
Posts: 1,833
Location: United States
lafayettemister wrote:


I think that's just from all the booze. Give me your keys, CG!


Oh sure, I'll let you drive me HOME? Not even in this inebriated state. evil4 Nice try, LM. I'm on to you. Not ON you. Just on to you! Sword Fight



It won a potato. Aren't you intrigued?



Milik_the_Red
Posted: Monday, February 18, 2013 3:16:44 PM

Rank: Internet Philosopher
Moderator

Joined: 8/14/2009
Posts: 4,980
Location: somewhere deep under the Earth, United States
Mazza wrote:
In answer to the original post, Milik, I personally don't see the benefit of having a specifically gay/bi area. I agree with LM, that from what I've seen most topics are covered in the general forums anyway... Surely rather than split the community into groups (and I don't mean gals/guys - because we all post on those regardless of sex anyway) it would be better to have more threads to accommodate everyone's needs?

I mean, I personally would be unlikely to visit that section (not being gay) and in fact, I would feel that I "couldn't" visit that section - I don't generally see posts in the BDSM area for the same reason, unless I click on a friend's post in my newsfeed, but I am extremely unlikely to post in BDSM as I know nothing about it and have no experience...

As for the gay community, well, I do have some experience there, I worked in a gay pubs and nightclub for some years and still have many gay and bi friends (in both the real and virtual worlds). Most of my friends (from what I've seen and heard) would rather feel accepted, that being gay was not considered to be anything other than normal and it would that mean that we might lose lots of fantastic input on the general forums too, I think...

Why not just have more gay/bi threads in the regular forums, then everyone can read and post or not if they choose to - that way we all at least get to see the posts, get the benefit of everyone's collective experience and continue to learn and grow the way we always do here on Lush? I guess what I am trying to say and not doing it very well is that the regular forums would be crap without all of the people who frequent them just now... Why split us into groups?



Hi Mazza. I can understand what you mean, both about how it might deplete the posters and especially how you feel about not feeling like you would belong posting in such a section. I feel that myself at times.

I could go on and explain in depth, but I fear that would only acerbate the situation. Maybe the problem exists only in the dark recesses of my mind, and if that is the case, pursuing it further here will only serve to offend more than I have already.

It took awhile for me to suggest this, and I regret deeply giving the implication of homophobia. I made what I felt at the time were two reasonable examples, both based on precedent, and though it was not my intention, it was taken as an accusation of bigotry or racism. Being told not to equate my feelings with something like MLK day was intensly hurtful to me.

So I accept what has been said and I apologize for creating a stir. Those who know me know m as open minded on all things as a person likely be. To be viewed as being the one who pidgeon holes others is anathema to me. It was certainly not my intention.

Mazza
Posted: Monday, February 18, 2013 3:59:56 PM

Rank: Mazztastic

Joined: 9/20/2012
Posts: 3,274
Location: Scotland, United Kingdom
Milik_The_Red wrote:


Hi Mazza. I can understand what you mean, both about how it might deplete the posters and especially how you feel about not feeling like you would belong posting in such a section. I feel that myself at times.

I could go on and explain in depth, but I fear that would only acerbate the situation. Maybe the problem exists only in the dark recesses of my mind, and if that is the case, pursuing it further here will only serve to offend more than I have already.

It took awhile for me to suggest this, and I regret deeply giving the implication of homophobia. I made what I felt at the time were two reasonable examples, both based on precedent, and though it was not my intention, it was taken as an accusation of bigotry or racism. Being told not to equate my feelings with something like MLK day was intensly hurtful to me.

So I accept what has been said and I apologize for creating a stir. Those who know me know m as open minded on all things as a person likely be. To be viewed as being the one who pidgeon holes others is anathema to me. It was certainly not my intention.


Milik, thanks for responding to my post, for the record, I didn't think that you came across as homophobic at all - you merely made a suggestion that had been playing on your mind. That is what the forums are for and we should all be able to speak freely here.

I've known you for a while now and I have the utmost respect and admiration for you; as a writer, moderator, poster and as a person. I have always found you to be both fair and balanced.

There's no need to apologise for posting this thread though, please, don't do that. It is an interesting subject which we can all talk about... Whether we can agree, lol I doubt it!

I think more people need to post...

Big Hugs Big Hugs Big Hugs
Dani
Posted: Monday, February 18, 2013 4:45:36 PM

Rank: Big-Haired Bitch
Moderator

Joined: 12/25/2010
Posts: 6,095
Location: Under Your Bed, United States
I completely agree with CG and Mazza, so I won't be redundant. And I say this as a bisexual female...for what it's worth. My 2 cents



nicola
Posted: Monday, February 18, 2013 5:09:55 PM

Rank: Matriarch
Moderator

Joined: 12/6/2006
Posts: 26,626
Location: United Kingdom
I've read this thread with interest, and think Milik was treated rather harshly, all things considered!

I actually think it's a good idea to have a separate GLBT forum.

It would probably encourage GLBT people to perhaps be more open here and contribute more. I know quite a few gay / bi / lesbians who simply don't post in the Ask the Gals or Ask the Guys forums because the perception is they are largely heterosexual, so it makes sense to me to create a forum where it's clear the questions / discussions, are going to be of that nature.

Magical_felix
Posted: Monday, February 18, 2013 5:16:15 PM

Rank: Wild at Heart

Joined: 4/3/2010
Posts: 6,046
Location: California
Ask the guys.

Ask the gals.

Ask the gays.


Sounds logical to me.



Guest
Posted: Monday, February 18, 2013 5:36:57 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 691,288
nicola wrote:
I've read this thread with interest, and think Milik was treated rather harshly, all things considered!

I actually think it's a good idea to have a separate GLBT forum.

It would probably encourage GLBT people to perhaps be more open here and contribute more. I know quite a few gay / bi / lesbians who simply don't post in the Ask the Gals or Ask the Guys forums because the perception is they are largely heterosexual, so it makes sense to me to create a forum where it's clear the questions / discussions, are going to be of that nature.


And there you have it. From the owner. So you will get your GLBT section. Discussion done, and without input from any members. I would suggest next time just contacting the forum owner directly and not involving the views of the general membership. I don't say this out of anger but pure logic. It will save a lot of grief from hurt feelings or differing of views.
Shylass
Posted: Monday, February 18, 2013 5:43:12 PM

Rank: Gingerbread Lover

Joined: 1/6/2012
Posts: 3,674
Location: Trumpton, United Kingdom
JohnC wrote:

And there you have it. From the owner. So you will get your GLBT section. Discussion done, and without input from any members. I would suggest next time just contacting the forum owner directly and not involving the views of the general membership. I don't say this out of anger but pure logic. It will save a lot of grief from hurt feelings or differing of views.


Forgive me for being daft, but what, then, is the point of any forums for questions at all? Why not just have a massive Ask Nicola site? dontknow

Forum feedback and suggestions are for just that. Just because a thread got a bit bonkers, it doesn't negate the suggestion because of a few crossed wires and knicker twists. Just my opinion, obviously.


Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.

***
********************************CLICK THE BANNERS TO BUY THESE WILLY-STIFFENING BOOKS!********************************
Magical_felix
Posted: Monday, February 18, 2013 5:43:59 PM

Rank: Wild at Heart

Joined: 4/3/2010
Posts: 6,046
Location: California
JohnC wrote:

And there you have it. From the owner. So you will get your GLBT section. Discussion done, and without input from any members. I would suggest next time just contacting the forum owner directly and not involving the views of the general membership. I don't say this out of anger but pure logic. It will save a lot of grief from hurt feelings or differing of views.


What do you mean, your GLBT section?



nicola
Posted: Monday, February 18, 2013 5:44:24 PM

Rank: Matriarch
Moderator

Joined: 12/6/2006
Posts: 26,626
Location: United Kingdom
JohnC wrote:

And there you have it. From the owner. So you will get your GLBT section. Discussion done, and without input from any members. I would suggest next time just contacting the forum owner directly and not involving the views of the general membership. I don't say this out of anger but pure logic. It will save a lot of grief from hurt feelings or differing of views.


John, as I've said to you in a private message, it's very common to have a separate section specifically for the GLBT community, on sites like this.

On one vaguely similar site to this, their section has over 250,000 views. It's obviously well received and liked.

I'm running a poll to see if the other mods think it's a good idea.
Guest
Posted: Monday, February 18, 2013 5:50:10 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 691,288
Shylass wrote:


Forgive me for being daft, but what, then, is the point of any forums for questions at all? Why not just have a massive Ask Nicola site? dontknow

Forum feedback and suggestions are for just that. Just because a thread got a bit bonkers, it doesn't negate the suggestion because of a few crossed wires and knicker twists. Just my opinion, obviously.

Yeah I think you misunderstood. LOL I was not talking about general questions, but this type was asked of the general forum members, when in fact the decision does not rest with us anyways.

nicola wrote:


John, as I've said to you in a private message, it's very common to have a separate section specifically for the GLBT community, on sites like this.

On one vaguely similar site to this, their section has over 250,000 views. It's obviously well received and liked.

I'm running a poll to see if the other mods think it's a good idea.

Oh I understand. Like I said more than once, I don't care about the final decision. It was asked of the general membership and views were stated.

MF:
Please don't read more into it for the sake of confrontation. "Your" refers to GLBT.
Magical_felix
Posted: Monday, February 18, 2013 5:53:24 PM

Rank: Wild at Heart

Joined: 4/3/2010
Posts: 6,046
Location: California
JohnC wrote:

Please don't read more into it for the sake of confrontation. "Your" refers to GLBT.


What do you mean, your refers to GLBT?



Guest
Posted: Monday, February 18, 2013 5:54:34 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 691,288
Magical_felix wrote:


What do you mean, your refers to GLBT?

OMG really? You want to do this?
Magical_felix
Posted: Monday, February 18, 2013 5:56:21 PM

Rank: Wild at Heart

Joined: 4/3/2010
Posts: 6,046
Location: California
JohnC wrote:

OMG really? You want to do this?


What do you mean, do this?



Guest
Posted: Monday, February 18, 2013 5:57:06 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 691,288
smiling broadly - ah always amusing to see people getting more steamed up about sexual categories than sex itself, surely you cannot all be as old and dull as me?

anyway, one of my normal slightly confused comments. This is the web, the joy is that it can stretch as far and wide as you want, so having a gay section is just a logical extension to the land of Lush. So yeah Malik and Nicola are right to be pursuing it, even as a simplistic widening of Lush as a marketing tool (oh smile please!). Equally, surely, we all know that the reality of Lush is that it won't really create a silo mentality - everyone seems to routinely poke around in threads where they probably should not be anyway so I am sure that proud tradition will continue and that the, ahem, cross fertilisation will continue willy nilly!

But being an awkward sod, I do wonder if there really needs to be separate gay and bi threads as i tended to think that there can be some rather big barriers between the two, and certainly obviously some rather different life experiences. (As a passing aside, why could there be any questioning about adding a gay or indeed bi element to the forums when bi and gay M and F sections are in the story categories. Now if you want to lose the interracial i will willingly support that!)

Okay, finished, and i dare say my magic touch of killing threads will continue! Wake me up if you want to do bad things to me please!
Guest
Posted: Monday, February 18, 2013 5:59:42 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 691,288
Magical_felix wrote:


What do you mean, do this?

Well that depends on what your definition of "is" is. toast
Magical_felix
Posted: Monday, February 18, 2013 6:01:49 PM

Rank: Wild at Heart

Joined: 4/3/2010
Posts: 6,046
Location: California
There's still no ask the furries section... Just sayin'.



Shylass
Posted: Monday, February 18, 2013 6:03:11 PM

Rank: Gingerbread Lover

Joined: 1/6/2012
Posts: 3,674
Location: Trumpton, United Kingdom
JohnC wrote:

Yeah I think you misunderstood. LOL I was not talking about general questions, but this type was asked of the general forum members, when in fact the decision does not rest with us anyways.


I don't think I did, actually.

The general rule of thumb is that if there is a need, and enough demand, Nicola listens, and usually provides. It's her site, but she is gracious to allow us all a say, at least.

Edit: I see you edited. SOME views were stated. I thought the idea was a good one, but I didn't want to get into the "discussion", for want of a better word.

I'm not a lesbian, or bisexual, nor do I see why those who are gay or different to me should be treated any differently. But I do see that certain members feel marginalised, or unable to post for various reasons. This is not the first time this particular discussion has arisen. To me, that says there is a need.

I take me to my bed now, for I be knackered. Goodnight. flower



Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.

***
********************************CLICK THE BANNERS TO BUY THESE WILLY-STIFFENING BOOKS!********************************
Guest
Posted: Monday, February 18, 2013 6:03:44 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 691,288
Magical_felix wrote:
There's still no ask the furries section... Just sayin'.

I was thinking of a cross dressing section, but that would fall into cross-species dressing right?
Magical_felix
Posted: Monday, February 18, 2013 6:07:01 PM

Rank: Wild at Heart

Joined: 4/3/2010
Posts: 6,046
Location: California
JohnC wrote:

I was thinking of a cross dressing section, but that would fall into cross-species dressing right?


What do you mean, cross species?



Guest
Posted: Monday, February 18, 2013 6:09:05 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 691,288
Magical_felix wrote:


What do you mean, cross species?

Angry Beavers?
Magical_felix
Posted: Monday, February 18, 2013 6:13:14 PM

Rank: Wild at Heart

Joined: 4/3/2010
Posts: 6,046
Location: California
JohnC wrote:

Angry Beavers?


So now all vaginas are mad too huh? Just stop before you offend the few groups of people you haven't yet.

GODDAMMIT!!!



Guest
Posted: Monday, February 18, 2013 6:15:15 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 691,288
Magical_felix wrote:


So now all vaginas are mad too huh? Just stop before you offend the few groups of people you haven't yet.

GODDAMMIT!!!

Hey if you are going to do something..... do it right. Right? dontknow

boxing

thumbup


nicola
Posted: Monday, February 18, 2013 7:17:22 PM

Rank: Matriarch
Moderator

Joined: 12/6/2006
Posts: 26,626
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