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Guest
Posted: Saturday, March 09, 2013 6:05:50 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 675,956
Show me your worst! Mine?

Eh, ah really fancy you so, eh, how about it, ih? (Said in a broad, NEDdy Glaswegian accent)
LYFBUZ
Posted: Saturday, March 09, 2013 6:16:59 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 12/27/2012
Posts: 3,457
Location: 1st star to the left, Canada
with that accent how can you get any where...New une kun oondrahstan a fookin thain ye sae

Do you have a little Scot in you? Would you like some?
Guest
Posted: Saturday, March 09, 2013 6:42:13 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 675,956
"nice legs" - what time do they open?

it was a comment left on one of my gallery pics. Made me laugh though.
Guest
Posted: Saturday, March 09, 2013 6:51:23 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 675,956
LYFBUZ wrote:
with that accent how can you get any where...New une kun oondrahstan a fookin thain ye sae

Do you have a little Scot in you? Would you like some?


Only if you speak like that, which I only do in certain company, but 99% of the time I speak properly and it would actually be "naebd'y cin unnerstaun a fookin hing yee say":) I was brunged up properly to enunciate. Suppose you want another of my crappy, deadly chat up lines?

Wanna ride on my disco stick? (Inspired by the Lady Gaga lyric "let's have some fun, this beat is sick, I wanna take a ride on your disco stick.)
Guest
Posted: Saturday, March 09, 2013 6:59:17 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 675,956
Hey I just met you and this is crazy but here's my number so call me maybe
EDWolfe
Posted: Saturday, March 09, 2013 9:16:55 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/5/2013
Posts: 1,033
Location: United States
To a person with a really muscular partner next to them:

"Lose the zero, get with a hero."
Jonathans_Fantasies
Posted: Monday, March 11, 2013 5:17:10 AM

Rank: Gentleman Master

Joined: 3/6/2013
Posts: 1,898
Location: God's Deep Freezer, United States
The ultimate newbie line... "So what are you wearing right now?"

Banner below is a clickable link!
Guille
Posted: Monday, March 11, 2013 5:41:41 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/17/2012
Posts: 20,652
Location: Madrid, Spain

LYFBUZ wrote:
New une kun oondrahstan a fookin thain ye sae


Lfunny Lfunny Lfunny A good one! thumbright

Soleillalune
Posted: Monday, April 01, 2013 2:10:33 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/29/2013
Posts: 2,105
Location: If I was in your pants you'd know, United States
Can we just pretend your fat - uh no

Guest
Posted: Monday, April 01, 2013 8:18:26 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 675,956
"Why don't you come on over here, sit on my lap, and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up"
Poppet
Posted: Tuesday, April 02, 2013 10:46:11 AM

Rank: Sweetest Cricket

Joined: 10/5/2012
Posts: 5,629
Location: On A Wishing Star, United States
Your stories made me horny, you should finish me off....... (Has happen MANY times!!!!!!)

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ You Inspire Me Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ
Guest
Posted: Friday, April 05, 2013 8:10:08 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 675,956
Get yer coat, love, you've pulled
Guest
Posted: Sunday, April 07, 2013 10:58:52 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 675,956
LYFBUZ
Posted: Sunday, April 07, 2013 11:10:53 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 12/27/2012
Posts: 3,457
Location: 1st star to the left, Canada
Your legs are like Vegemite, soft, smooth and easy to spread
Guest
Posted: Sunday, April 07, 2013 11:12:32 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 675,956
Yes, but you only like marmite don't you?
Amyyyyy
Posted: Monday, April 08, 2013 2:34:26 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 8/15/2012
Posts: 95
Location: My house, United Kingdom
Do you believe in love at first sight or do I have to walk past again?
Do your legs hurt cos you've be running through my mind all day?
Some body better call god, he's missing an angle

All 3 have been used on me
Guest
Posted: Monday, April 08, 2013 10:18:44 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 675,956
I can smell your cunt (a mate used this and the girl and her friends beat him with their bags, we fell about the floor, pissing ourselves)
Guest
Posted: Monday, April 08, 2013 10:23:52 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 675,956
AlphaDaedalian11 wrote:
I can smell your cunt (a mate used this and the girl and her friends beat him with their bags, we fell about the floor, pissing ourselves)


Could never top that, won't even try.
Guest
Posted: Monday, April 08, 2013 10:43:59 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 675,956
Well, I suppose you could take the statement "I can smell your cunt" and turn it into a question "can I smell your cunt", but it's still pretty fucking rotten.
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, April 09, 2013 12:32:20 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 675,956
GingerKitty wrote:
Well, I suppose you could take the statement "I can smell your cunt" and turn it into a question "can I smell your cunt", but it's still pretty fucking rotten.


same friend, I swear to God, walked up to a really pretty girl in a bar in the West End and asked her if she took it up the arse on a first date; he really was a twat and she was visibly upset, so I chinned him.
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, April 09, 2013 1:41:36 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 675,956
Can't believe no one has mentioned this before.....lol

Guest
Posted: Friday, April 12, 2013 6:55:09 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 675,956
You beckon a girl over to you with your little finger, when (if) she comes over, you whisper to her: "I just made you come with just my little finger, imagine what I can do with my cock?"
Guest
Posted: Saturday, April 20, 2013 10:01:36 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 675,956
"I wanna put my baby inside you" true story. To this day I still don't know if he wanted to make me pregnant, or that he called his cock his 'baby'. I didn't hang around long enough to find out.
Guest
Posted: Saturday, April 20, 2013 9:04:32 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 675,956
I've often wondered if walking up to someone and just being blunt about wanting to have sex with them would result in a slap in the face or a kick in the balls. I'm too much of a pussy to actually try it, though. I like my face being pain free and my balls being massaged, rather than kicked.
Guest
Posted: Sunday, April 21, 2013 7:13:13 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 675,956
GingerKitty wrote:
I've often wondered if walking up to someone and just being blunt about wanting to have sex with them would result in a slap in the face or a kick in the balls. I'm too much of a pussy to actually try it, though. I like my face being pain free and my balls being massaged, rather than kicked.



I would do both.
simply_sweet
Posted: Wednesday, April 24, 2013 12:52:43 AM

Rank: Pandahug Ninja
Moderator

Joined: 6/15/2010
Posts: 1,644
Location: United States
do you have a mirror in your pocket? because i can see myself in your pants

i lost my phone number, can i have yours?

both terrible, both happened. :P

Skyping With A Stranger


A Change of Heart


Guest
Posted: Saturday, April 27, 2013 1:41:22 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 675,956
Who's your friend?
Guest
Posted: Saturday, April 27, 2013 2:10:07 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 675,956
You're ugly, but you intrigue me...
Guest
Posted: Friday, May 24, 2013 1:52:41 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 675,956
"Here, drink's on me! I want you to think I'm hot when I'm fuckin you"

It's never been said to me, but I thought I'd put it out there XD
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