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Is Britain riddled with sexual abusers? Options · View
DanielleX
Posted: Wednesday, May 1, 2013 1:11:11 PM

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What's with all these sex pests/child abusers? This second actor in Coronation Street has been arrested for sexual offences and there seems to be something in the news every day. I'm at home at the moment and there are two theories in our house. My Nan says it's women jumping on the band wagon for compensation. Whereas my Mum says the Jimmy Saville revelations has empowered women to speak up. I didn't really know who Jimmy Saville was until all this came out, but it sounds like some horrendous cover up?

We're almost running out of celebrities. Is it as bad as it appears?
crazydiamond
Posted: Wednesday, May 1, 2013 1:49:33 PM

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I would think in those circles this is not a new thing, but perhaps easily covered up by the fame and sway in the industry back in the day, things aren't quite as easy to hide anymore, it's always been there. People are more aware and less blinded by celebrity to a point, so when these things come out, more and more are willing to come forward. That's my take on it anyway.

sprite
Posted: Wednesday, May 1, 2013 2:14:38 PM

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sadly, there is always more abuse then is reported. women, (or men for that matter) for a variety of reasons, don't come forward. sometimes out of shame, out of fear, out of the knowledge of what being branded will do, not wanting to live through it again, sometimes that will happen if it goes to court or to the media, not wanting to be 'slut shamed' a very real phenonemon... sometimes out of ignorance or resignation or cyncism. unless you have gone thru it yourself, you can not imagine how messed up your mind became about what has happened or what is happening. rationality, common sense, logic are tossed out the window... fear and anger and depression dig in and it's hard to shake them loose - i don't think you ever really do, you just learn to cope with them...

and then, someone does come out, and it opens up the flood gates, gives other women the courage to do it as well, makes them want to support that one brave soul by speaking out and saying 'yeah, me too.' and stand beside her. i've seen it happen. you 'admit' to be being harassed, abused, molested, or raped, and suddenly, there's are friends, co-workers, family, even strangers walking up to you with nothing but love and understanding... yeah, me too. you are not alone. you need to talk about it? and it inspires you to do something, even if it's just to open up, to share your story so that others don't feel so alone and isolated...

so yeah, sometimes it becomes 'fuck you - you are not going to do this to anyone else, not going to make them feel like you made me feel, not going to get away with it. fuck you, i am taking you down, you prick.' and i think, i hope, that is what is happening... for anyone who says it's women 'jumping on the band wagon' for compensation, sorry, but fuck you. 54% of sexual assaults go unreported. that's rape. the instances of sexual harassment are much higher. 95% of sexual harassment is never reported. 95%.

common reasons: i don't want to make trouble, lose my job, turn my family members in, he didn't mean it, it was a misunderstanding, he said he was sorry and would never do it again....

I am not an angry girl but it seems like I've got everyone fooled
Every time I say something they find hard to hear
They chalk it up to my anger and never to their own fear
And imagine you're a girl just trying to finally come clean
Knowing full well they'd prefer you were dirty and smiling


~ Ani DiFranco




Love not hate.
Crapbag123
Posted: Wednesday, May 1, 2013 4:24:30 PM

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I think the sexual revolution of the 60s meant people were much more liberal. After thatchers 70s people began to be much more repressed again and now we have gone full circle with those who felt that because they were present in the sexual revolution they couldn't speak out at abuses. At this point they feel finally able too.
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, May 1, 2013 5:58:29 PM

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I more or less agree with Sprite. A lot of the alleged offences coming to light now happened 30/40 years ago. There were no special police officers trained to handle these situations and the victims were too ashamed to tell the authorities. Those who did were not believed or taken seriously. Now those women and men who were abused sexually or otherwise have the courage to come forward in the knowledge that stories will be investigated. Also the abusers were,in a lot of cases, figures of authority. Just a few weeks ago the most senior Cardinal in the UK resigned amid allegations of sexual misconduct.
DanielleX
Posted: Wednesday, May 1, 2013 11:36:28 PM

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Sprite,
you write so powerfully on this. I don't know anyone who has experienced this, but I can imagine and what you said really moved me. My Nan is a very old fashioned person and I don't think she meant it in a malicious way, it's just her. She's probably not thought it through. My Mum has had quite a heated argument over it with her!

I just wonder when this celebrity rape outing thing will all end.
sprite
Posted: Thursday, May 2, 2013 12:19:14 AM

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DanielleX wrote:
Sprite,
you write so powerfully on this. I don't know anyone who has experienced this, but I can imagine and what you said really moved me. My Nan is a very old fashioned person and I don't think she meant it in a malicious way, it's just her. She's probably not thought it through. My Mum has had quite a heated argument over it with her!

I just wonder when this celebrity rape outing thing will all end.


sadly, the more power you have, the more fame, the more money, the easier it is to dodge the charges. you can buy the best lawyers and celebrity buys a lot of get out of jail free cards. we look at allegations suspiciously when it comes to celebs - in it for the money, that's it - the girl's a skank. look at Kobe Bryant, Ben Roethesberger, Michael Jackson. money can buy silence. i know what that's like. funny, you can look at something so obvious, and still, people don't believe you - even friends, they don't want to believe that someone they know could do that, so they choose not to...





Love not hate.
DanielleX
Posted: Saturday, May 4, 2013 12:57:40 PM

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Apparently, the assistant Speaker of the house of commons has been arrested for perversions/sexual assault. We're riddled I tell you :(
curvygalore
Posted: Saturday, May 4, 2013 1:37:35 PM

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Some really profound insights on this thread, and as others have commented there really seems to a be a correlation with those in power (or with the power of celebrity) able to get away with abuse for decades due to their status, and the fear and shame they induce in their victims. Also as you say Danielle, there is really a perception difference between generations. I know friends in their 70's and 80's who see abuse as an entirely modern problem, and exclaim that such things simply didn't happen in their day. Given that the most recently accused are men in their 70's and 80's, this idea is turned on its head. Its not that it didn't exist, just that far fewer people were aware.
yonilove
Posted: Sunday, September 25, 2016 11:58:22 AM

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I do think that child sexual abuse/rape is more widespread than we know even now. Abusers have usually been abused and they think it's the norm and justify themselves under their past abuse and blaming the victim/s. I have to say that British culture has a lot of paedophilia culture even in a covert way like schoolgirls outfits, smooth female genitals, and other childlike traits which Brits seem to be so into. There are British jokes that are along the rape culture lines as they are what a paedophile would say. These jokes are in everyday culture in this country.

I think some people refuse to see the negative side of their culture and your relative, who says it's women jumping on the bandwagon of the compensation, is in denial and victim blaming. I am sure this is not the case and even if there are some cases of these kind of creepers after money, there will be only a small percentage like 1% or 2 max.

Abusers/child rapists/molesters are happy about your relative believing their lies instead of the traumatised victims/survivors true courage and testimony. Survivors who live a life sentence while these criminals are free to destroy more lives and childhoods with their innocence. Look at Jimmy Saville living the high life and getting away with so much horror and crime.

Courage to believe the survivors and kindness towards them are more difficult, but far more productive and valuable for everyone. Yesterday, you didn't believe a stranger, your son/daughter, your friend, someone on the news. Tomorrow, you won't believe your little innocent granddaughter who will have her life destroyed forever.
MostPreciousLittle
Posted: Thursday, September 29, 2016 9:12:18 AM

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Joined: 11/14/2013
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yonilove wrote:
I do think that child sexual abuse/rape is more widespread than we know even now. Abusers have usually been abused and they think it's the norm and justify themselves under their past abuse and blaming the victim/s. I have to say that British culture has a lot of paedophilia culture even in a covert way like schoolgirls outfits, smooth female genitals, and other childlike traits which Brits seem to be so into. There are British jokes that are along the rape culture lines as they are what a paedophile would say. These jokes are in everyday culture in this country.

I think some people refuse to see the negative side of their culture and your relative, who says it's women jumping on the bandwagon of the compensation, is in denial and victim blaming. I am sure this is not the case and even if there are some cases of these kind of creepers after money, there will be only a small percentage like 1% or 2 max.

Abusers/child rapists/molesters are happy about your relative believing their lies instead of the traumatised victims/survivors true courage and testimony. Survivors who live a life sentence while these criminals are free to destroy more lives and childhoods with their innocence. Look at Jimmy Saville living the high life and getting away with so much horror and crime.

Courage to believe the survivors and kindness towards them are more difficult, but far more productive and valuable for everyone. Yesterday, you didn't believe a stranger, your son/daughter, your friend, someone on the news. Tomorrow, you won't believe your little innocent granddaughter who will have her life destroyed forever.


This. So eloquently put. Thank you. My 2 cents

LYFBUZ
Posted: Thursday, September 29, 2016 7:20:35 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 12/27/2012
Posts: 6,049
Location: wandering..., Canada
I doubt Britain is any more riddled than most other countries be they G7 or the developing world. As noted above by several more clever than I:

- rich, powerful and/or famous get away with heinous behaviour simply because they can afford the 'best' lawyers or can kick a ball
- for centuries sexual abuse was hidden away either through fear, shame, intimidation, social pressures or a complete and total absence of support for victims

One would hope the revelations of recent years signals a positive change but the gap between those properly prosecuted and those who get away scot free is still monumentally outrageous. A handful of high profile cases, most of which end in a pathetic outcomes isn't having much impact on real and progressive change. But its a start...

In my opinion the collective environmental factors have to be addressed: broken & farcical justice systems, better education, addressing the behaviours at an early age, proper intervention and detention, as well as economic and social issues. This is hardly my area of expertise but a recalibration of what we as a society feel is important would sure help; as would the implementation of practices that actually work
e.g.
- less corporate welfare and more support services
- enough with the hero worship of the famous and have more empathy/compassion for your neighbours
- better sentencing structures that reduce judicial leeway; more likely a complete overhaul of law and justice

I'm sure the list is endless...but maybe ONE thing: men need to step up and become a voice for change instead of getting sucked into the boys locker room mentality. Its pathetic.

Just for the record, most would tag me as a privileged white boy, right wing capitalist, champion of free speech and supporter of the right to a fair trial. Unfortunately these same descriptors have a tarnish that is far from my own ideals and beliefs in personal responsibility. That isn't my whole story.


-
traddis
Posted: Tuesday, October 11, 2016 5:02:21 PM

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Sexual abusers? I think it depends on where you live in the world and which century. At one time being "gay" meant a prison sentence. "Let he who hath no sin cast the first stone"
SereneProdigy
Posted: Tuesday, October 11, 2016 6:15:51 PM

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Joined: 7/16/2013
Posts: 2,885
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traddis wrote:
Sexual abusers? I think it depends on where you live in the world and which century. At one time being "gay" meant a prison sentence. "Let he who hath no sin cast the first stone"


How deep your head is inside your ass might also have an influence. Eh?


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