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Do all Dominants want multiple submissives? Options · View
Ravyn
Posted: Wednesday, April 3, 2013 11:39:30 PM

Rank: Cock Connoisseur
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Joined: 4/26/2010
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Location: Bend, United States
jerseylynn wrote:
One important thing to remember if one does move into a Polly relationship that there is NO room for jealousy. To agree to a Polly relationship means sharing and if you have reservations then decide what is more important to you. Always be true to yourself no matter what. If you enter it cause your Dom/me wants and demands it and your not comfortable with it then that is a recipe for disaster. I've seen so many subs get the lil green eyed monster on their shoulders and then holly hades the drama start.

Polly relationships aren't for everybody but know who you are and what you want. If you are a one on one person then make sure your wishes are heard and understood that may in the long run save your relationship and lots of days and nights being hurt.



Amen to that!

Guest
Posted: Thursday, April 4, 2013 6:57:52 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 816,693
I agree, being true to yourself is very important. I also think being true and honest with not only yourself, but your chosen partner(s) is also crucial. I have seen too many cases (even in general relationships) where being true and honest took a back seat to temporary gratification or "the idea of", and it lead to complete disasters. People get hurt, and if at a minimum self honesty does not begin to be seen, the same things will happen over and over.... with the same results.

Multiple subs, or Multiple Doms is also (as has been stated by others) a case where jealousy can NOT be an issue (because many times it IS an issue.. I hope that made sense LOL). And yes, there are subs that are excited having multiple Doms as well as the other way around. But I will also point out that jealousy is not by default a "bad" thing or "not normal". I would present that healthy jealousy is not only the norm, but is a good thing. Far too often in places like LUSH when someone displays NORMAL feelings, emotions, or desires, they are looked at as being strange and even pushed aside because of it; and that is unfortunate.

I will also state that many times the fantasy aspect takes over, and people lose themselves and all sense of reality and logic, even when supposedly having a genuine conversation about any given topic. There IS a difference in a lot of cases between "playing" and "reality"... more so between online and off. We see this with many issues, such as 3somes, cockold, incest, and so on... not just BDSM. Hopefully though, most members can tell who to take genuine advice and views from, and those who are simply applying fantasy to every post and aspect of LUSH.
ByronLord
Posted: Thursday, April 4, 2013 7:19:41 AM

Rank: Forum Guru
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Joined: 11/14/2010
Posts: 839
Location: Massachusetts, United States
sprite wrote:
i guess i just need too much personal attention to thrive in a situation like that. and being a Dom/me is hard work, doing that for more than one sub just seems like too much.


... you think there might be subs that are so demanding their Dom's need a rest from time to time? Should that surprise me?

One of the bad habits of the net is the way that everything seems to turn into what we call in the UK a dick size measuring contest. People assert that there is only one proper way to do something and if it isn't theirs then it does not count or is wrong or inadequate. The only real Lesbians are gold stars! Role play is not proper BDSM, got to live it 24/7! A/V double penetration is passe, got to be double anal or it s nothing!

Most people get on with two parents, so I can't see why having two Masters would be inconceivable. The main issue would be whether the Masters could agree on a consistent approach. Otherwise it is a recipe for, umm a sub plot for one of my novels.

Guest
Posted: Thursday, April 4, 2013 8:14:04 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 816,693
The answer is no, like all people in all walks of life, we are individuals, and also some only claim to be dom's to justify thier need to fool around and thus avoid the guilt of responsibility to the one sub they should be caring for
Guest
Posted: Thursday, May 2, 2013 9:02:42 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 816,693
Yes, I think everyone in the lifestyle can agree ... the simple answer is NO! Not all Doms want multiple subs. But polyamory has been around forever ... even in the vanilla world. Which brings up a more intriguing question ... has anyone ever known polyamory to work? I mean, really really work long-term? I personally haven't seen it last. The dynamic always seems to get messed up somehow.
PKS6
Posted: Thursday, May 2, 2013 9:37:07 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 4/26/2013
Posts: 18
Location: Canada
I have found that the majority of Doms that consider themselves tops want one slave. There is a difference in experience level though. The more training the Dom has had it seems the more slaves that would like. There are exceptions to this though, as there are exceptions to everything.
Guest
Posted: Thursday, May 2, 2013 10:19:08 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 816,693
Im a dominant and right in real life, i have 5 different subs. I love to have multiple subs.
wimphusband
Posted: Wednesday, May 15, 2013 7:08:17 PM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 10/30/2012
Posts: 4
Location: United States
Thinsulater
Posted: Wednesday, May 15, 2013 7:22:02 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/15/2010
Posts: 189
Location: United States
I'm still looking for one. two is a stretch right now.

SHEEP!
Guest
Posted: Thursday, May 16, 2013 1:48:53 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 816,693
Being a Dominant is a hella responsibility as it should be. Being a "dominant" who wants to amass a string or harem of submissives almost always means the "dominant" is a player and taking no real responsibility for the submissives. That said, poly-relationships are another matter altogether. A mutual D/s relationship especially in the early stages is about communication and learning each other. Adding more submissives to that mix reminds me of the current Internet meme "Ain't Nobody Got Time for That!"
SeaSiren
Posted: Friday, May 24, 2013 12:40:19 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/19/2013
Posts: 3,253
Location: Gulf Coast, United States
If you get involved with Certain members be prepared to not be the only one but be prepared that they will tell you otherwise. Just my two cents. Believe no one unless you live it and can see it!
WellMadeMale
Posted: Friday, May 24, 2013 4:19:48 PM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,858
Location: Cakeland, United States
I'm just frustrated that Gav hasn't created a way for us alpha dominants to show that we own a harem of nubile subservients here at Lush.

I'm not going to grovel for this, Mister. I will ask nicely again. One more time.

Please?

Obscenity is the last refuge of an inarticulate motherfucker.
Ravyn
Posted: Friday, May 24, 2013 7:29:07 PM

Rank: Cock Connoisseur
Moderator

Joined: 4/26/2010
Posts: 2,185
Location: Bend, United States
WellMadeMale wrote:
I'm just frustrated that Gav hasn't created a way for us alpha dominants to show that we own a harem of nubile subservients here at Lush.

I'm not going to grovel for this, Mister. I will ask nicely again. One more time.

Please?


You just can't help yourself can you? d'oh!

WellMadeMale
Posted: Friday, May 24, 2013 8:16:04 PM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,858
Location: Cakeland, United States
Ravyn wrote:


You just can't help yourself can you? d'oh!


Seriously? No...I mean yes...that's why I've also asked Felix to help out too. Next week I'm gonna ask Scooter, Merc and maybe...maybe Dirty Martini.

I'm overloaded over here.

You know how it is, right?

Obscenity is the last refuge of an inarticulate motherfucker.
Poppet
Posted: Friday, May 24, 2013 10:08:06 PM

Rank: Cheeky Chick

Joined: 10/5/2012
Posts: 6,422
Location: In Your Dirty Fantasies, United States
I’m happy with just one submissive, of course he’s also my boyfriend and if I had another submissive it would in MY eyes be some form of cheating. I’m not okay with that, so I don’t do it.

I had the chance to be a temp Domme to someone when his Mistress wasn't around, and I was thinking about it, but my submissive expressed to me he wouldn't like it. I respected his wishes, and denied the offer. Not because I let my submissive tell me what to do, but because I respect his feelings.

I do sometimes come off Dominate with friends, more in a joking manner, because they have a submissive side. It never goes beyond what Jamie (my submissive) and I feel comfortable with.

I never really got the appeal of having more than one. Why can’t one be good enough? To me it’s like anything else. You don’t have more than one girlfriend/boyfriend, or more than one wife/husband etc. So, unless you’re into the Polygamy thing, then don’t treat submissive’s like toys. Yes, you “own” them, but they are people. Even if they’re okay with you having others.

Anyway, that’s my opinion.


Master_Rick
Posted: Tuesday, February 23, 2016 1:44:35 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 5/17/2015
Posts: 207
Location: Pawtucket, United States
1 would be enough if I was to find the right one


Have a great day!
prettyjoanne
Posted: Wednesday, April 27, 2016 2:59:02 PM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 1/14/2015
Posts: 7
Location: United States
When I noticed this thread I immediately thought of my lush experience. I never went into a chat room thinking I would meet the next submissive to add to my D/s family or the next equals lover for that matter. Each submissive is a gift and a treasure to be cared for and loved. I actually met and collared my first 2 submissives more than a year ago and though we have been separated once or twice we are all together again now. The most I've had at one time was 3 full time subs but even that limit wasn't planned. Having a fourth would have meant giving up some sleep but that is a sacrifice I would have been willing to make for the right partner. As for them, as any of my close lush friends will tell you, I am VERY possessive of my girls, so they are expected to give me their absolute obedience which includes being mine and mine alone!
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