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musikboy
Posted: Saturday, May 04, 2013 1:53:57 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 4/24/2011
Posts: 97
I've known this girl for a couple of years and we were close friends. I had feelings for her and told her about it and she just wanted to be friends. She used to share everything about her. But after she found a bf things went crazy I couldn't accept her to be with someone else. And she made new friends ignoring me. I never showed my feelings but it really hurt when she used to talk about them. Finally I told her about it and we didn't talk for a month. And then she started telling me how much she misses me and wants me back in her life. I avoided ignored and told her that I can't be friends with her.. I really miss her and love her, she says she is alone and quite depressed. She is still in a relationship though. I don't know what to do. If I go help her I'll feel the same thing and can't be friends with her. And if I don't IM really worried about how she is doing and is she happy. I want her to be happy. U really don't know what to do. Please help me out. I've been trying to figure this out since long time.
Dani
Posted: Saturday, May 04, 2013 2:20:16 PM

Rank: Big-Haired Bitch
Moderator

Joined: 12/25/2010
Posts: 6,311
Location: Under Your Bed, United States
As far as this situation goes, it seems like your friend is realizing that the grass isn't always greener on the other side. It seems like the best thing you need right now is distance from this so-called best friend. I've seen a lot of situations where two people are close and one falls for the other. She may have known all along how you felt about her (girls can sense these things) but always wanted to keep you around just in case, ya know? However, ditching you for new friends and a seemingly new life is pretty shitty, especially if she didn't even take the time to explain it to you. But on the other hand, ditching you was probably her way of distancing herself. If she knew all along how you felt (which I'm pretty sure she did), then having you stick around with the new boyfriend is just awkward. As far as her needing you all of a sudden, she and the boyfriend may be going through a rough patch and the new friends aren't all they were cracked up to me. It looks like she's just trying to go back to what she knows, which is you. If you allow her into your life again, set some boundaries. Not saying all of this is your fault, but I can't stress enough how important it is for a guy to NOT make himself too emotionally available to a girl unless they're in a relationship. Too much of a good thing. If she can have you for emotional stability without being with you, why would she bother? It seems as if you want to let her back in, hence the reason you're posting the question. You're considering it. Which isn't all that bad. But I'd just proceed with EXTREME caution if I were you...or she'll just rip your heart out some more.




"Bitch, who asked you?" - A Bitch Who Didn't Ask You

Norwaysex
Posted: Saturday, May 04, 2013 2:42:32 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 5/1/2013
Posts: 16
Location: Oslo, Norway
crazydiamond
Posted: Saturday, May 04, 2013 2:49:18 PM

Rank: Clever Gem

Joined: 7/17/2011
Posts: 2,296
Location: Exactly where I should be!, Canada
Norwaysex wrote:
My niece......


confused1

Guest
Posted: Saturday, May 04, 2013 3:07:04 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 701,057
*puts up crime scene tape barrier* Move along, people, it's just a train wreck waiting to happen...
Dancing_Doll
Posted: Saturday, May 04, 2013 3:45:24 PM

Rank: Alpha Blonde
Moderator

Joined: 2/17/2010
Posts: 6,836
Location: Your dirty fantasy
1. You are in the friend zone.

2. Her initial distancing from you was because you made it clear that being 'just friends' wasn't an option because of your feelings. She was respecting.

3. As time has passed, she is probably going through shit with her new BF and/or life in general. She misses your friendship. She is hoping that you can now have perspective on everything and things can return to normal (ie. before you confessed your feelings).

4. Situation still stands the same as far as I can see it. If you can't be 'just friends' with her, then I would not rock the boat.

5. Good luck.

Mazza
Posted: Saturday, May 04, 2013 4:05:16 PM

Rank: Mazztastic

Joined: 9/20/2012
Posts: 3,295
Location: Scotland, United Kingdom
Dancing_Doll wrote:
1. You are in the friend zone.

2. Her initial distancing from you was because you made it clear that being 'just friends' wasn't an option because of your feelings. She was respecting.

3. As time has passed, she is probably going through shit with her new BF and/or life in general. She misses your friendship. She is hoping that you can now have perspective on everything and things can return to normal (ie. before you confessed your feelings).

4. Situation still stands the same as far as I can see it. If you can't be 'just friends' with her, then I would not rock the boat.

5. Good luck.


Spot on! (as usual)

notworthy

Nothing to see here...
Guest
Posted: Sunday, June 02, 2013 8:29:06 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 701,057
yourmisterdark wrote:
*puts up crime scene tape barrier* Move along, people, it's just a train wreck waiting to happen...


I agree totally!!!!! Move on !!!!
musikboy
Posted: Thursday, June 27, 2013 1:44:54 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 4/24/2011
Posts: 97
I'm replying late but thanks for your help. I guess some things must end. Thank you all !
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