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Safe words online? Options · View
Mari84
Posted: Tuesday, May 07, 2013 3:20:20 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 2/27/2010
Posts: 81
Location: The Bronx
No clue. BDSM I don't do.
Ravyn
Posted: Tuesday, May 07, 2013 5:59:26 PM

Rank: Cock Connoisseur
Moderator

Joined: 4/26/2010
Posts: 2,120
Location: Bend, United States
Mari84 wrote:
No clue. BDSM I don't do.


May I ask, then why post in here? I can understand if you are curious but your statement does not sound like it comes from a place of curiosity or possible enlightenment.

WellMadeMale
Posted: Tuesday, May 07, 2013 8:45:08 PM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,511
Location: Cakeland, United States
Mari84 wrote:
No clue. BDSM I don't do.


Let's play Boss. I'll be your hiring manager and play the part of lifelong Republican. You can be the liberal Democrat who believes that the world is your oyster.

Of course, since I will be the Republican...I will portray the cocksucker who is about to make you wish you were...

What was your safe word again? 6

Most intelligent people are introspective and doubt themselves while many fucktards are proudly over-confident. - a tip of the hat to Charles Bukowski
kylie_kained
Posted: Tuesday, May 07, 2013 10:21:49 PM

Rank: Detention Seeker

Joined: 8/17/2010
Posts: 995
Location: Over your Knee Screaming and Kicking!, United King
Yes of course there should be it's a Dominants desire often to push limits. Even online that could cause mental harm to a sub.
















Dani
Posted: Tuesday, May 07, 2013 10:40:23 PM

Rank: Big-Haired Bitch
Moderator

Joined: 12/25/2010
Posts: 6,128
Location: Under Your Bed, United States
kyliekained wrote:
Yes of course there should be it's a Dominants desire often to push limits even online that can cause mental harm to a sub.


It's a dominant's desire to push limits that can cause mental harm to a sub? And that's OK?





sprite
Posted: Tuesday, May 07, 2013 11:23:27 PM

Rank: Her Royal Spriteness
Moderator

Joined: 6/18/2010
Posts: 17,578
Location: My Tower, United States
slipperywhenwet2012 wrote:


It's a dominant's desire to push limits that can cause mental harm to a sub? And that's OK?



actually, no. it's not. not ever. that's my stand.

Live, love, laugh.
roymunson101
Posted: Wednesday, May 08, 2013 6:18:31 AM

Rank: General Zod

Joined: 6/6/2011
Posts: 304
Location: United States
My safe word online is......Slipperywhenwet2012 - Online

Oh shit....thats my happy word.

My safe word online is.......shush?
Dani
Posted: Wednesday, May 08, 2013 8:41:59 AM

Rank: Big-Haired Bitch
Moderator

Joined: 12/25/2010
Posts: 6,128
Location: Under Your Bed, United States
roymunson101 wrote:
My safe word online is......Slipperywhenwet2012 - Online

Oh shit....thats my happy word.

My safe word online is.......shush?


That's it. Forum privileges revoked. Beginning immediately!

I'm sorry you had to see this folks...move along...nothing to see here. hiding



Magical_felix
Posted: Wednesday, May 08, 2013 1:36:15 PM

Rank: Wild at Heart

Joined: 4/3/2010
Posts: 6,073
Location: California
roymunson101 wrote:
My safe word online is......Slipperywhenwet2012 - Online

Oh shit....thats my happy word.

My safe word online is.......shush?


slipperywhenwet2012 wrote:
That's it. Forum privileges revoked. Beginning immediately!

I'm sorry you had to see this folks...move along...nothing to see here.


^^^Awwwwwww! This was the cutest, sweetest, thing I have ever read on lush. My heart can't take it. And in the BDSM section no less.



Magical_felix
Posted: Wednesday, May 08, 2013 1:37:32 PM

Rank: Wild at Heart

Joined: 4/3/2010
Posts: 6,073
Location: California
Ravyn wrote:



Really? Surely you can do this without those names.


Oh, that was my safe word. Just answering the question. icon_smile



kylie_kained
Posted: Wednesday, May 08, 2013 5:52:27 PM

Rank: Detention Seeker

Joined: 8/17/2010
Posts: 995
Location: Over your Knee Screaming and Kicking!, United King
slipperywhenwet2012 wrote:


It's a dominant's desire to push limits that can cause mental harm to a sub? And that's OK?



That was my own fault on how it was written I have re-edited to read correctly on what I was meaning. Drinking and forums can be hazardous!
















roymunson101
Posted: Wednesday, May 08, 2013 6:22:51 PM

Rank: General Zod

Joined: 6/6/2011
Posts: 304
Location: United States
Magical_felix wrote:


^^^Awwwwwww! This was the cutest, sweetest, thing I have ever read on lush. My heart can't take it. And in the BDSM section no less.


Darn, I knew I could never be as clever as you. You make it seem so effortless. Bravo. Bravo.
Mari84
Posted: Thursday, May 09, 2013 10:14:28 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 2/27/2010
Posts: 81
Location: The Bronx
Quote:
May I ask, then why post in here? I can understand if you are curious but your statement does not sound like it comes from a place of curiosity or possible enlightenment.


Good question. I got here through the scroll on the Lush Home page, and was simply curious to discover what question "Safe words online?" meant. And, yes, perhaps my response sounded a little flippant and even disrespectful, which I didn't intend. I was just stating my preference, not trying to disrespect yours.
Mari84
Posted: Thursday, May 09, 2013 10:19:22 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 2/27/2010
Posts: 81
Location: The Bronx
Quote:
Let's play Boss. I'll be your hiring manager and play the part of lifelong Republican. You can be the liberal Democrat who believes that the world is your oyster.

Of course, since I will be the Republican...I will portray the cocksucker who is about to make you wish you were...

What was your safe word again?


How about "IWISWSOTH?"

As in, "I wish I were someplace other than here."
Guest
Posted: Thursday, May 09, 2013 10:33:42 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 693,587
A safe word should be short and not easily forgotten, like dwarf sex.
Ruthie
Posted: Thursday, May 09, 2013 4:13:03 PM

Rank: Story Verifier
Moderator

Joined: 10/21/2010
Posts: 2,805
Location: United States
slipperywhenwet2012 wrote:


It's a dominant's desire to push limits that can cause mental harm to a sub? And that's OK?



No. That isn't what was said. You reshaped the sentence to make it suit your agenda. It is the desire of both sub and dom to push limits. We don't want to push the limits beyond the point where it would cause either mental or physical harm. That's why we have safewords.
Ravyn
Posted: Thursday, May 09, 2013 4:56:02 PM

Rank: Cock Connoisseur
Moderator

Joined: 4/26/2010
Posts: 2,120
Location: Bend, United States
Mari84 wrote:


Good question. I got here through the scroll on the Lush Home page, and was simply curious to discover what question "Safe words online?" meant. And, yes, perhaps my response sounded a little flippant and even disrespectful, which I didn't intend. I was just stating my preference, not trying to disrespect yours.


As is your right to do :) and I appreciate your clarification. We all have our own kinks and quirks so to speak. One of the greatest things we have, is the power to learn, I personally love knowledge and can't get enough of it. Whether it be the vanilla world or that of the BDSM world, there is always room to learn, anyone who says any differently, is just plain full of shit.

Dani
Posted: Thursday, May 09, 2013 5:06:53 PM

Rank: Big-Haired Bitch
Moderator

Joined: 12/25/2010
Posts: 6,128
Location: Under Your Bed, United States
CoopsRuthie wrote:


No. That isn't what was said. You reshaped the sentence to make it suit your agenda. It is the desire of both sub and dom to push limits. We don't want to push the limits beyond the point where it would cause either mental or physical harm. That's why we have safewords.


Incorrect. What I quoted was a typo before being corrected. The poster of the aforementioned comment has since then amended their comment. I quoted what was originally written, which was incorrectly interpreted by me at the time due to the fact that the original comment was typed incorrectly.


kyliekained wrote:
That was my own fault on how it was written I have re-edited to read correctly on what I was meaning. Drinking and forums can be hazardous!



I have no agenda. I reshaped nothing. Read things in their entirety before making assumptions.





Ruthie
Posted: Friday, May 10, 2013 12:20:41 AM

Rank: Story Verifier
Moderator

Joined: 10/21/2010
Posts: 2,805
Location: United States
slipperywhenwet2012 wrote:



I have no agenda. I reshaped nothing. Read things in their entirety before making assumptions.



Oddly, I understand what was meant without any correction.
Dani
Posted: Friday, May 10, 2013 12:39:20 AM

Rank: Big-Haired Bitch
Moderator

Joined: 12/25/2010
Posts: 6,128
Location: Under Your Bed, United States
CoopsRuthie wrote:


Oddly, I understand what was meant without any correction.


Umm...congratulations?



Guest
Posted: Friday, July 05, 2013 10:07:29 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 693,587
My safe word is WGASA --- Who Gives A Shit Anyways!!!!!
Guest
Posted: Saturday, July 06, 2013 5:12:31 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 693,587
I prefer safe words, both on and offline, to be words that are easy to remember but not odd or that would sound strange when used. I prefer them to be able to be worked into responses naturally, and not just a random word. So "mercy" would be good as long as that is not a word the sub uses regularly. Or maybe, using a similar word but in another language. Kind of how they train dogs using German commands. It is so that the use of the word in normal conversation does not confuse the intent of the command. I am NOT saying subs are dogs though or being trained, only using that as an example.

I just like the interaction to go smoothly and have a flow not interrupted by tossing out something that sounds like a random word. But that is just me.

As for Masters always wanting to push things to the point of harm, or might cause harm, etc. I understand the concept but IMO a good Master/Dom knows when to stop. Yes, they do push, but not for the reasons many might think. It should always be for the benefit of the sub. To help them expand, to help them grow, to help them gain pleasure, etc. A Master/Dom should not simply be a dominant person wanting to bully and control another for their own pleasure. It is a GIFT they give as much as a sub's gift of submission to them.

Also, safe words should never be used when the sub is simply uncomfortable with something. They should not be used as a default to disobey the Master/Dom. I know this should not have to be said, but frankly many times it needs to be. It is the emergency break in actions, not the cruise control or standard break. A good D/s relationship will recognize boundaries and how the other is feeling and reacting to things being said and done. And IMO the safe word should seldom to ever be NEEDED, even if the sub does not want to obey or feels extremely bad about what is happening. The Master/Dom should know their sub and how far to push each time they do push. The process for expanding and pushing boundaries should be gradual and in small steps.
Magical_felix
Posted: Saturday, July 06, 2013 9:38:59 AM

Rank: Wild at Heart

Joined: 4/3/2010
Posts: 6,073
Location: California
JohnC wrote:


Also, safe words should never be used when the sub is simply uncomfortable with something. They should not be used as a default to disobey the Master/Dom. I know this should not have to be said, but frankly many times it needs to be.

And IMO the safe word should seldom to ever be NEEDED, even if the sub does not want to obey or feels extremely bad about what is happening.


What...

You keep going even when they feel extremely bad about what is happening?

Rapey.



VanGogh
Posted: Saturday, July 06, 2013 9:54:51 AM

Rank: Sarcastic Coffee Aficionado

Joined: 2/10/2012
Posts: 3,556
Location: Vancouver, Canada
Magical_felix wrote:


JohnC wrote:

Also, safe words should never be used when the sub is simply uncomfortable with something. They should not be used as a default to disobey the Master/Dom. I know this should not have to be said, but frankly many times it needs to be.

And IMO the safe word should seldom to ever be NEEDED, even if the sub does not want to obey or feels extremely bad about what is happening.

What...

You keep going even when they feel extremely bad about what is happening?

Rapey.



My sentiments exactly, Felix ...



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WellMadeMale
Posted: Saturday, July 06, 2013 10:17:49 AM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,511
Location: Cakeland, United States
PersonalAssistant wrote:


My sentiments exactly, Felix ...



Felix reminds me of a former Kansas City Royal phenom - Clint Hurdle...now a MLB manager. Clint was always swinging for the fences...and 98% of the time he managed to pop out, or top a pitch and bounce a grounder to an infielder for a convenient double play - effectively ending an inning or a rally.

But every once in awhile - he'd connect and knock the fucking horsehide off the ball of twine.

Hurdle has become a pretty good manager, I'm not implying that Jack will or is - but he has potential.

Most intelligent people are introspective and doubt themselves while many fucktards are proudly over-confident. - a tip of the hat to Charles Bukowski
Magical_felix
Posted: Saturday, July 06, 2013 10:26:08 AM

Rank: Wild at Heart

Joined: 4/3/2010
Posts: 6,073
Location: California
WellMadeMale wrote:


Felix reminds me of a former Kansas City Royal phenom - Clint Hurdle


Wellmademale reminds me of the Boston Redsox's 100 year old batboy.





Guest
Posted: Saturday, July 06, 2013 10:52:16 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 693,587
Magical_felix wrote:


What...

You keep going even when they feel extremely bad about what is happening?

Rapey.

I never once said it was about SEX. And your quote was taken out of context anyways. The sentence directly following what you quoted clears up a lot.

But I have to say that the acts as well as relationship between a Dom and sub consist of many things that have little to do with sex, or sometimes not sexual at all. What makes someone uncomfortable can be a wide range of things, even simply expressing feelings or views on things. I would never rape anyone nor advocate it. And I think most members understand that and understood fully what I was saying. If not, I am sure this post clears it up.
Guest
Posted: Saturday, July 06, 2013 11:04:50 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 693,587
I have to post this. I am extremely insulted that things I posted were taken completely out of context and insinuated that I RAPE someone or advocate it. If anyone reads what I actually wrote, ALL OF IT, it is clear that control, understanding, and caring is to be used at all times. You can take a sentence here and a sentence there, and make it look like someone is saying darn near anything you want, but that does not mean that is what they said or meant.... when taking in full context. RAPE is NOT a part of legitimate D/s relationships... EVER. Period.
Jack_42
Posted: Saturday, July 06, 2013 11:37:11 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/21/2009
Posts: 1,039
Location: Prague, Czech Republic

Sprite wrote


[sure, to an extant, it's RP,]

Not quite sure what an upper class English accent has to do with this but OK.

Dani
Posted: Saturday, July 06, 2013 2:13:48 PM

Rank: Big-Haired Bitch
Moderator

Joined: 12/25/2010
Posts: 6,128
Location: Under Your Bed, United States
JohnC wrote:
I have to post this. I am extremely insulted that things I posted were taken completely out of context


Welcome to the internet. I'm Dani. Nice to meet you.



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