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naughtyannie
Posted: Monday, July 1, 2013 1:23:03 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/8/2011
Posts: 1,950
Location: London, United Kingdom
As a slightly sillier counterpoint to the haiku thread, how about one for dirty limericks? Why not write a limerick about one of your friends here on Lush? Or about anyone at all?

Here's my starter for ten...


A naughty young lady named Abi
Once had a fine fuck with a cabby.
In lieu of her fare,
She screwed him with flair
By the entrance to Westminster Abbey.


[Forgive me if there's already a limerick thread lurking somewhere - I searched in Poet's Corner and couldn't find one.]


Please help "Schoolgirl Dares With Sarah" become a Legendary Story. It only needs another 17,000 views. Click on the link below to take you there:

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/lesbian/schoolgirl-dares-with-sarah.aspx

You'll help make a sad girl very happy xxx

Swollen
Posted: Tuesday, July 2, 2013 11:02:59 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 5/27/2010
Posts: 1,038
Location: United Kingdom
I know a few Lush guys from London,
they give me quite a conumdrum.
Which one to pick? The biggest dick?
But there's not much difference between 'em!
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, July 2, 2013 12:41:36 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 779,320
Some folks don't know their ass from a hole
As are dug in the ground by a mole.
I wish they'd get smart
Cuz a thought ain't a fart
And a pileup of poop ain't a knoll.
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, July 2, 2013 1:19:39 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 779,320
A young woman exploring her split
Came across a most curious "it"
She explored at her leisure
And much to her pleasure
Discovered her "it" was her clit!
Swollen
Posted: Sunday, July 7, 2013 7:43:10 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 5/27/2010
Posts: 1,038
Location: United Kingdom
There was a young man from Muzzy End,
to him many pictures I did send.
We had a big fight,
now everything's alright,
And once again he is my best friend.
Guest
Posted: Sunday, July 7, 2013 10:58:42 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 779,320
"All your fucking does is perturb.
Your technique is clearly absurd.
I want more orgasms
That make me have spasms.
So I'm kicking your ass to the curb!"

adele
Posted: Tuesday, July 16, 2013 5:06:18 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/8/2011
Posts: 22,043
Location: if I knew where I was then I would not be here...
OK, I wrote this in response to something in another thread, but it fits here as well.

There once was a wellmademale
Who read many a tale
But in an odd twist of fate
Only considered them great
If his name was mentioned for sale.

Be sure to read my recent stories... Dan a.k.a. Becca; Stranded; The Lonely Wife; Dan a.k.a. Becca Part 2
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/crossdressing/dan-aka-becca.aspx
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/mature/stranded.aspx
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/wife-lovers/the-lonely-wife.aspx
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/trans/dan-aka-becca-part-2.aspx
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, July 16, 2013 7:44:16 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 779,320
There are those who develop a crush
On some member or other at Lush.
They might often suck 'em,
Lick 'em, or fuck 'em
And hope that their lush crush will gush!
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, July 17, 2013 10:14:22 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 779,320
Think they know BDSM, there are some
Who reckon it's just an easy way to cum,
But they don't have a clue
What real DOMs and subs do;
They think it's the dumber leading the dumb.
simply_sweet
Posted: Tuesday, August 6, 2013 8:30:56 AM

Rank: Pandahug Ninja
Moderator

Joined: 6/15/2010
Posts: 2,215
Location: United States
A man was nicknamed ''Goon''
Because he finished too soon!
He was so conflicted,
'cause he was addicted,
to what some may call, ''the poon''

f-hihi

Skyping With A Stranger


A Change of Heart


trinket
Posted: Saturday, August 23, 2014 9:34:53 AM

Rank: Lucky Charm

Joined: 8/18/2014
Posts: 5,864
Location: Going down...under. , Australia
There was a hot sexy cowboy,
Would use me like I was his toy,
My clit he would lick
Then I'd suck his dick
Bringing us both a lot of joy.
trinket
Posted: Saturday, August 23, 2014 9:37:17 AM

Rank: Lucky Charm

Joined: 8/18/2014
Posts: 5,864
Location: Going down...under. , Australia


I know a cute guy with class
Likes to fuck me up the ass
Slipped his rigid pole
In my lubed up hole
Then he came deep inside my ass. drunken

KatieElizabeth
Posted: Saturday, August 23, 2014 9:56:31 AM

Rank: English Rose
Moderator

Joined: 10/5/2013
Posts: 1,935
Location: My own sunny little spot, United Kingdom
My name is Katie or Kat,
I don't really think I'm all that...,
But sometimes I'm flirty,
Occasionally dirty,
And always fun in a chat.


Robert0909
Posted: Thursday, August 28, 2014 6:51:32 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/15/2014
Posts: 194
Location: West London, United Kingdom
A horny old lady who fucked me,
rimmed me and righteously sucked me.
She gave me swallow
and I quickly did follow
in drinking till her pussy ducked me
norislurker
Posted: Thursday, August 28, 2014 8:34:18 AM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 8/23/2013
Posts: 9
Location: bexhill on sea, United Kingdom
The Australian Poetry Competition had come down to two finalists; a university graduate and an old aboriginal. They were given a word, then allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a poem that contained the word. The word they were given was 'TIMBUKTU'
First to recite his poem was the university graduate. He stepped to the microphone and said:

Slowly across the desert sand,
Trekked a lonely caravan
Men on camels two by two
Destination - Timbuktu.

The crowd went crazy! No way could the old aboriginal top that they thought.
The old aboriginal calmly made his way to the microphone and recited;

Me and Tim ahuntin' went
Met three whores in a pop up tent
They were three, and we was two
So I bucked one, and timbuktu.
DanielleX
Posted: Sunday, August 31, 2014 1:17:04 PM

Rank: Blonde Bombshell
Moderator

Joined: 11/6/2011
Posts: 3,818
Location: Liverpool, United Kingdom
There was a young lady from Prague,
Who turned up to Lush in a Saab,
Her real name was Danny,
She had a cute fanny,
or so Buz said when he was hard!


The first part of my hot new story is up! Click the photo to read




KatieElizabeth
Posted: Tuesday, September 2, 2014 12:13:04 PM

Rank: English Rose
Moderator

Joined: 10/5/2013
Posts: 1,935
Location: My own sunny little spot, United Kingdom
There was a blonde babe in Liverpool,
So gorgeous she made me drool,
I wanted her to remove my bra,
Instead I got an RR,
Which was also completely cool!


sweet_as_candy
Posted: Tuesday, September 2, 2014 9:14:35 PM

Rank: Sydney Slider
Moderator

Joined: 5/28/2012
Posts: 3,422
Location: In the library
There was a sweet girl named Candy
Whose sex life was far from dandy
She met Sydneysider
Stuck his cock inside her
And made her extremely randy





KatieElizabeth
Posted: Sunday, September 7, 2014 7:51:12 AM

Rank: English Rose
Moderator

Joined: 10/5/2013
Posts: 1,935
Location: My own sunny little spot, United Kingdom
There was a Scarlet Seductress called Liz,
Whose friendship was just the biz,
I read loads of her stuff,
Which I found really tough,
As it always got me in a tiz Embarassed


KatieElizabeth
Posted: Monday, October 20, 2014 11:06:19 AM

Rank: English Rose
Moderator

Joined: 10/5/2013
Posts: 1,935
Location: My own sunny little spot, United Kingdom
There was a Madame called Molly,
Whose friendship was nearly a folly,
Her pics were so hot,
Like it or not,
I had to lie down on a trolley!


jollyjack
Posted: Monday, October 20, 2014 2:38:51 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/2/2012
Posts: 2,309
Location: in Capri or Amsterdam....Honolulu or Siam
There was a young man from Leeds,
Who swallowed a packet of seeds.
A clump of grass
Grew out of his arse...
And out of his cock, grew the weeds

My Karma just ran over your Dogma
Mysteria27
Posted: Wednesday, October 22, 2014 4:58:15 PM

Rank: Prolific Writer

Joined: 4/3/2013
Posts: 7,984
Location: Seducing your mind in the, United States
There was a beautiful girl,
She had the most amazing curls.
She liked to suck cock,
She liked them like rocks,
While she played with her pearls.
SuburbsDad
Posted: Thursday, October 23, 2014 4:43:31 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 10/22/2014
Posts: 25
Location: Australia
I'm unemployed and life is a bore
And am masturbating myself tender and sore
I'm seeking distraction
And wet story action
So friend me and I'll amuse for sure
splodger
Posted: Saturday, December 13, 2014 5:19:17 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/2/2013
Posts: 606
Location: United Kingdom
There was a young lad named Shawn
Who wished he'd never been born
And he wouldn't have been
If his father had seen
That the end of his condom was torn
splodger
Posted: Saturday, December 13, 2014 5:23:28 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/2/2013
Posts: 606
Location: United Kingdom
There was a young girl
From Calcutta
Who peeped through a hole in a shutter
And all she could see Was a young maiden's knee
And the balls of the bloke who was up her

sweet_as_candy
Posted: Saturday, December 13, 2014 10:19:42 PM

Rank: Sydney Slider
Moderator

Joined: 5/28/2012
Posts: 3,422
Location: In the library
There was once a young man from down under
Whose orgasm was louder than thunder
The bed shook as he groaned
And bounced as he moaned
The neighbours soon named him boy-wonder!





Mysteria27
Posted: Sunday, December 14, 2014 5:56:41 PM

Rank: Prolific Writer

Joined: 4/3/2013
Posts: 7,984
Location: Seducing your mind in the, United States
A man loved to suck cock
He was always hard as a rock
He never went to work
Because he was a jerk
Oh Fuck there goes the alarm clock
Mysteria27
Posted: Sunday, December 14, 2014 7:17:48 PM

Rank: Prolific Writer

Joined: 4/3/2013
Posts: 7,984
Location: Seducing your mind in the, United States
A couple love to masturbate
They do this on their date
They love for people to watch
They both rub at their crotch
They do this until eight

adele
Posted: Monday, December 15, 2014 12:20:49 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/8/2011
Posts: 22,043
Location: if I knew where I was then I would not be here...
There are those who think they're a poet
But whether or or not they know it
A bunch of words in a line
With no rhythm or rhyme
Is just prose with a new way to show it!


Be sure to read my recent stories... Dan a.k.a. Becca; Stranded; The Lonely Wife; Dan a.k.a. Becca Part 2
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/crossdressing/dan-aka-becca.aspx
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/mature/stranded.aspx
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/wife-lovers/the-lonely-wife.aspx
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/trans/dan-aka-becca-part-2.aspx
Mysteria27
Posted: Tuesday, December 16, 2014 4:59:36 AM

Rank: Prolific Writer

Joined: 4/3/2013
Posts: 7,984
Location: Seducing your mind in the, United States
There was a man with a big dick
How he loved to stroke his prick
He loved to have fun
When he would come
But he wished he had a chick
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